everytime i see an ugly girl that i dont like
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my will to become enlightened gets stronger.
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What if you see a pretty gal? How will your will to enlightenment be affected?
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then it weakens.
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...
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Oei... liddat you win liao. It does no help to your resolve in getting to enlightenment. I tink is see any pretty OR ugly gals, your WILL to enlightenment grows stronger. Of coz there are many other worldly seductions for you to battle. 1 of dem being da power of $$$......Originally posted by Cenarious:then it weakens. -
This is not the way la...
In Buddhism we must see the reality beyond forms and appearance. Whether one is ugly or beautiful, they will definitely grow old, lose their beauty, and eventually die. Everyone is equal in the aspect that we will all die. This is the reality.. is it negative? No, it is not negative nor positive, it is reality.
When there is birth, there is death. How to transcend that? By realising the unborn nature of all dharmas... which is another topic I will not dwell here.
Remember Buddha used his powers to manifest a beautiful woman, then in a very short while turn old, and die? Just like the Nike advertisement. -
its about the compassion.
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That is not compassion, that is pity.
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isnt it the same?Originally posted by An Eternal Now:That is not compassion, that is pity. -
Compassion sustains the universeOriginally posted by Cenarious:isnt it the same?
My feeling is that compassion is a 'underlying' feeling that does not really need a stimulus to evoke. 'Pity' on the other hand is evoked when we see somebody experiencing something that we do not want ourselve to experience. Compassion, I believe is the same as unconditional love. - longchen -
From Daily Buddhist Verses
-------Originally posted by An Eternal Now:The near enemies are qualities that arise in the mind and masquerade as genuine spiritual realization, when in fact they are only an imitation, servin to separate us from true feeling rather than connecting us to it...
The near enemy of lovingkindness is attachment...At first, attachment may feel like love, but as it grows it becomes more clearly the opposite, characterized by clinging, controlling, and fear.
The near enemy of compassion is pity, and this also separates us. Pity feels sorry for "that poor person over there," as if he were somehow different from us...
The near enemy of sympathetic joy (the joy in the happiness of others) is comparison, which looks to see if we have more of, the same as, or less than another...
The near enemy of equanimity is indifference. True equanimity is balance in the midst of experience, whereas indifference is a withdrawal and not caring, based on fear...
If we do not recognize and understand the near enemies, they will deaden our spiritual practice. The compartments they make cannot shield us for long from the pain and unpredictability of life, but they will surely stifle the joy and open connectedness of true relationships.
Jack Kornfield, A Path with Heart
http://www.questia.com/PM.qst?a=o&d=95256138
The Buddhist Path and Social Responsibility
JACK KORNFIELD
One of the most important questions we come to in spiritual practice is how to reconcile service and responsible action with a meditative life based on nonattachment, letting go, and coming to understand the ultimate emptiness of all conditioned things. Do the values that lead us to actively give, serve, and care for one another differ from the values that lead us deep within ourselves on a journey of liberation and awakening? To consider this question, we must first learn to distinguish among four qualities central to spiritual practice -love, compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity -- and what might be called their "near enemies." Near enemies may seem to be very close to these qualities and may even be mistaken for them, but they are not fundamentally alike.
The near enemy of love is attachment. Attachment masquerades as love. It says, "I love this person as long as he or she doesn't change. I'll love you if you'll love me back. I'll love that if it will be the way I want it." This isn't love at all -- it is attachment-and attachment is very different from love. Love allows, honors, and appreciates; attachment grasps, demands, needs, and aims to possess. Attachment offers love only to certain people; it is exclusive. Love, in the sense that the Buddha used the word metta is a universal, nondiscriminating feeling of caring and connectedness, even toward those whom we may not approve of or like. We may not condone their behavior, but we cultivate forgiveness. Love is a powerful tool that transforms any situation. It is not passive acquiescence. As the Buddha said, "Hatred never ceases through hatred. Hatred only ceases through love." Love embraces all beings without exception, and discards ill will.
One near enemy of compassion is pity. Instead of feeling the openness of compassion, pity says, "Oh, that poor person is suffering!" Pity sets up a separation between oneself and others, a sense of distance and remoteness from the suffering of others that is affirming and gratifying to the ego. Compassion, on the other hand, recognizes the suffering of another as a reflection of one's own pain: "I understand that; I suffer in the same way. It's a part of life." Compassion is shared suffering.
Another near enemy of compassion is grief. Compassion is not grief. It is not an immersion in or identification with the suffering of others that leads to an anguished reaction. Compassion is the tender readiness of the heart to respond to one's own or another's pain without grief or resentment or aversion. It is the wish to dissipate suffering. Compassion embraces those experiencing sorrow, and eliminates cruelty from the mind.
The third quality, sympathetic joy, is the ability to feel joy in the happiness of others. The near enemy of equanimity is unintelligent indifference or callousness. We appear serene if we say, "I'm not attached. I don't care what happens anyway because it's all transitory." We feel a certain peaceful relief because we withdraw from experience and from the energies of life. But true equanimity is not a withdrawal; it is a balanced engagement with all aspects of life. It is opening to the whole of life with composure and with balance of mind, seeing the nature of all things. Equanimity embraces the loved and the unloved, the agreeable and the disagreeable, and pleasure and pain; it eliminates clinging and aversion.
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http://buddhism.kalachakranet.org/immeasurables_love_compassion_equanimity_rejoicing.html
COMPASSION
The definition is: wanting others to be free from suffering.
This compassion happens when one feels sorry with someone, and one feels an urge to help.
The near enemy is pity, which keeps other at a distance, and does not urge one to help.
The opposite is wanting others to suffer, or cruelty.
A result which one needs to avoid is sentimentality.
Compassion thus refers to an unselfish, de-tached emotion which gives one a sense of urgency in wanting to help others. From a Buddhist perspective, helping others to reduce their physical or mental suffering is very good, but the ultimate goal is to extinguish all suffering by stopping the process of rebirth and the suffering that automatically comes with living (enlightenment).
The attitude of a so-called Bodhisattva is Bodhicitta: this is the ultimate compassionate motivation: the wish to liberate all sentient beings from the sufferings of cyclic existence and to become a fully enlightened Buddha oneself in order to act as the perfect guide for them.
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http://www.brahmaviharas.org/BVwriting4.htm
Pity is the near enemy to compassion for it has a hidden quality of aversion. The delusion of pity comes, in part, from the belief that if we hold ourselves as separate that we are protecting ourselves in some way. Karuna dissolves the boundaries divide our hearts in two. With growing compassion we are less apt to look away - to withdraw our attention - to abandon or be abandoned.
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Do a google search for more articles on that: http://www.google.com.sg/search?hs=ttc&hl=en&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla%3Aen-US%3Aofficial&q=pity+compassion+near+enemy&btnG=Search&meta= -
so obviously i seek enlightenment to hide myself in nirvana because ugly girls scare me.
Edit: Because I obviously don't want to help the girls take away the sad feeling of being seen as inferior, and think of their own whole life is wasted because they can't have as much fun this life as the pretty girls. -
Well unless you drop your pity and realise true compassion, which is beyond seperation, you cannot be enlightened.Originally posted by Cenarious:so obviously i wish to seek enlightenment to hide myself in nirvana because ugly girls scare me.
Another way to put it is: as long as you fear ugly girls, you will not be enlightened. -
WTH i wont be scared of ugly girls it was sarcasm im using if im scared of ugly girls i would be scared of my mother.Originally posted by An Eternal Now:Well unless you drop your pity and realise true compassion, which is beyond seperation, you cannot be enlightened.
Another way to put it is: as long as you fear ugly girls, you will not be enlightened. -
Originally posted by Cenarious:WTH i wont be scared of ugly girls it was sarcasm im using if im scared of ugly girls i would be scared of my mother.
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so if i am handsome, then i would be showing pity?Originally posted by An Eternal Now:Well unless you drop your pity and realise true compassion, which is beyond seperation, you cannot be enlightened.
Another way to put it is: as long as you fear ugly girls, you will not be enlightened.
so if i myself is ugly, then i would be showing compassion? -
Anyone can show compassion.Originally posted by Cenarious:so if i am handsome, then i would be showing pity?
so if i myself is ugly, then i would be showing compassion? -
I have a friend who is a guy , who doesnt look handsome and dressed very ordinary , yet very sincere young man and dun put on airs
only recently does I know that his father have a 5 digits paycheck
so looks isnt that important .Its the heart that count .
So is looks really important .
the more handsome /pretty a person , the more troubled when faced with
acne ,pimple
and maybe sexual harassment bah
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how do you know?Originally posted by An Eternal Now:That is not compassion, that is pity. -
Haven't I explained myself very clearly? Go read before asking.Originally posted by Cenarious:how do you know?
The title already says it all: everytime i see an ugly girl that i dont like plus many other things you said.
Now compare that to the articles I pasted about pity vs compassion. -
Originally posted by An Eternal Now:
Because there exists "dont like" and "ugly" thats why I want to gain enlightenment. If it were not compassion and just pity I would heck care liao.
Haven't I explained myself very clearly? Go read before asking.
The title already says it all: everytime i see an ugly girl that [b]i dont like plus many other things you said.
Now compare that to the articles I pasted about pity vs compassion.[/b]
And that thing about "true compassion sustains the universe" - why not destroy that compassion and let nothing exist? Then there would be neither nirvana nor samsara. -
1st copied text:
One near enemy of compassion is pity. Instead of feeling the openness of compassion, pity says, "Oh, that poor person is suffering!" Pity sets up a separation between oneself and others, a sense of distance and remoteness from the suffering of others that is affirming and gratifying to the ego. Compassion, on the other hand, recognizes the suffering of another as a reflection of one's own pain: "I understand that; I suffer in the same way. It's a part of life." Compassion is shared suffering.
Obviously from what you described there is a great deal of remoteness from the suffering of others.
2nd copied text:--------------------
From what you said you had no sense of feeling an urge to help, and is only "keeping others at a distance while not wanting to help".
http://buddhism.kalachakranet.org/immeasurables_love_compassion_equanimity_rejoicing.html
COMPASSION
The definition is: wanting others to be free from suffering.
This compassion happens when one feels sorry with someone, and one feels an urge to help.
The near enemy is pity, which keeps other at a distance, and does not urge one to help.
The opposite is wanting others to suffer, or cruelty.
A result which one needs to avoid is sentimentality.
Compassion thus refers to an unselfish, de-tached emotion which gives one a sense of urgency in wanting to help others. From a Buddhist perspective, helping others to reduce their physical or mental suffering is very good, but the ultimate goal is to extinguish all suffering by stopping the process of rebirth and the suffering that automatically comes with living (enlightenment).
The attitude of a so-called Bodhisattva is Bodhicitta: this is the ultimate compassionate motivation: the wish to liberate all sentient beings from the sufferings of cyclic existence and to become a fully enlightened Buddha oneself in order to act as the perfect guide for them.-----------
Now obviously you have shown 'a hidden quality of aversion' in an unhidden way, by saying "ugly girls that i dont like". How can you have compassion for something you don't like? You can only have pity. You are also 'holding yourself as separate and protecting yourself in some way' by trying to "hide myself nirvana because ugly girls scare me.", furthemore it is more evident that when when you see ugly girls "your will to become enlightened gets stronger" but when you see pretty girls "then it weakens." This is obviously due to "seeing yourself as separate and protecting yourself in some way".
http://www.brahmaviharas.org/BVwriting4.htm
Pity is the near enemy to compassion for it has a hidden quality of aversion. The delusion of pity comes, in part, from the belief that if we hold ourselves as separate that we are protecting ourselves in some way. Karuna dissolves the boundaries divide our hearts in two. With growing compassion we are less apt to look away - to withdraw our attention - to abandon or be abandoned.My feeling is that compassion is a 'underlying' feeling that does not really need a stimulus to evoke. 'Pity' on the other hand is evoked when we see somebody experiencing something that we do not want ourselve to experience. Compassion, I believe is the same as unconditional love. - longchen
Now obviously what you described is far from what longchen said. -
Obviously from what you described there is a great deal of remoteness from the suffering of others.
How is that so? I'll tell you something. I am seeing a psychologist because I think my head is crooked.From what you said you had no sense of feeling an urge to help, and is only "keeping others at a distance while not wanting to help".
Where? What did I say? I'd like a quote please.Now obviously you have shown 'a hidden quality of aversion' in an unhidden way. You are also 'holding yourself as separate and protecting yourself in some way' by trying to "hide in nirvana", furthemore it is more evident that when when you see ugly girls "your will to become enlightened gets stronger" but when you see pretty girls "then it weakens." This is obviously due to "seeing yourself as separate and protecting yourself in some way".
That entire post about nirvana was a sarcasm, and I thought I already told you.Now obviously what you described is far from what longchen said.
Now reply what I asked about the sustaining thing. -
I don't keep worrying about death like you do.Originally posted by An Eternal Now:This is not the way la...
In Buddhism we must see the reality beyond forms and appearance. Whether one is ugly or beautiful, they will definitely grow old, lose their beauty, and eventually die. Everyone is equal in the aspect that we will all die. This is the reality.. is it negative? No, it is not negative nor positive, it is reality.
When there is birth, there is death. How to transcend that? By realising the unborn nature of all dharmas... which is another topic I will not dwell here.
Remember Buddha used his powers to manifest a beautiful woman, then in a very short while turn old, and die? Just like the Nike advertisement. -
How is that so? I'll tell you something. I am seeing a psychologist because I think my head is crooked.
If you do have compassion, that is good. But your earlier post did not show anything about compassion, as it only mentions "seeing ugly girl that i dont like", "will to get enlightened gets stronger" or "weakens". Anyone who doesnt want to be ugly can also think that way, but there may not be a sense of compassion, only "pity the other person" while wishing oneself not to end up the fate like them.Where? What did I say? I'd like a quote please.
Ok so you're saying you would like to help them? Thats good.That entire post was a sarcasm, and I thought I already told you.
Ok.And that thing about "true compassion sustains the universe" - why not destroy that compassion and let nothing exist? Then there would be neither nirvana nor samsara.
What a weird question. Anyway Nirvana cannot be destroyed, it is known as unborn. Samsara will also not be destroyed, if samsara can be destroyed or created, that will fall under the idea of Creatorism. In Buddhism there is no beginning and ending of the world on a higher level, only constant flux. Even when the universe ends, a new one will eventually be formed. You cannot trace something to a beginning or trace something to an ending, because that is merely an illusion in the mind. There is always only this NOW moment, which is ungraspable because of its empty nature, constantly changing. The only way to transcend is to realise its empty nature, not by destroying physical things.