Originally posted by crescent:
Please forgive my frankness. I believe what follows could be a little too direct for some, but i rather be truthful with the truth.
I reflected and has recognised that my weakness towards sex has lead me to disruption of this mindfulness. Something i myself is not very proud of. On many, in fact on most occassions, i still has temptations towards looking at women in a sexual way, satisfying my mental urge with fantasies. Im a typical guy and my vices includes the frequent porn and masturbation. What is bothering me is that these urges had been influencing and directing my life, from my choice of girlfriends, to my criticism and judgement of women. I believe this is my one of my foremost weakness. To share the seriousness of my problem, this is where the urges has lead .
*Looking at upskirts and downblouses when the chance arrises.
*looking at women in a sexual way.
*Mental fantasies of sexual relationships with woman around me.
*Masturbation
*Porn
I recognise that this weakness is undesirable and has occassions try to withheld those urges. The urges though, is so overwhelming that i seriously believe that i would still continue to scumble to this weakness till the day i die cause I certainly derive pleasure from the above mentioned vices. What is buddhism's viewpoint of sexual urges and what is its viewpoint towards masturbation, sexual fantasies and sexual opportunist?
Thanks for sharing.
First of all... if you have lots of sexual fantasies, my teacher's advise is that if you have any pictures of girls in your room that arouses sexual fantasies, tear it down. And even if you do not have, have Bodhisattva and Buddha pictures all around you. For me, I have a Kalachakra Mantra Mandala pasted in my room, I also have pictures of Bodhisattvas and a sandalwood figure of Shakyamuni Buddha in my room.
Sexual fantasies may not be entirely wrong because as lay persons, we are alright to have relationships and bear children. But sexual fantasies of your sort generally leads to sexual misconducts, which is breaking one of the 5 precepts. Even if you do not commit sexual misconducts in this lifetime, the seeds planted deep in your 8th consciousness will in another lifetime lead you to commit such atrocities. It is therefore dangerous. It is very evident. If you stop watching porn for a few days, if you already have the habit of watching it, there will be alot of dirty thoughts surfacing. Why? Because these imprints is already deep within your 8th consciousness, and needs to be cleansed. It needs your deep awareness of your Mind, Speech, Action. Awareness not as in "knowing it intellectually" - but being merely aware, watching it. I hope you understand. Deep awareness is like bright light shining into a dark room - everything within is lit up and all the darkness will be dispelled. You need to continue practising that, so that whenever a thought of that sort surfaces, you will immediately know and not be misled by it. If you are misled, it will inevitably lead to the next thought, forming a long continuous chain of thoughts of lust. And then eventually to other actions.
Lastly, if you do not have a Buddhist teacher, I hope you will find a Buddhist teacher and learn the dharma. If you can describe as it is in the first post, I believe you could have been a practitioner in your past life. You need to practise the dharma again in this lifetime otherwise your life will be wasted away... it is pitiful. Even past life practitioners still have habits that are not removed from their 8th consciousness. I have a friend in my dharma centre, he also used to have the habit of watching porn, but now he has quit and already has certain levels of attainment and awakening. He is only 23 I think.
