A question
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Are we responsible for the causes of other being's suffering ?
Even though our intention is kind or harbour no ill will and yet unknown to others. We didnt really directly create harms with intention.
Our behaviour might have caused some misunderstanding. Others could mistake our behaviour as something else and them theirselves have arised some ill-willness feeling, mental state, thought and attitude towards people, perhaps due to u. .
ok why i am asking this is: i just come back from a dharma camp. In this dharma camp, my initial intention is to cultivate. However, i wanted to be mindful of my speech. Thus i could refrain myself from talking (as i haven't refined my mindfulness yet , i can only retain myself from creating bad speech > due to arise of self ego, attention seeking and harsh speech as i want to practise mindfulness. )
In addition, im aso quite shy.
Now i feel real bad for causing some awkwardness for others. I do know that in a camp, i should interact but then after causing some awkward feeling among one another due to my silence practise..it has became rather hard to start open up again? -
imho.. We do what is right and what doesn't harm oneself or others. If they harbour ill will or wants to think of what you do in a negative way, that is their wrong.. not yours.
I think speaking is necessary at times and one shouldn't just refrain from it just because one wants to avoid saying some wrongful things. Mindfulness is important but it can be trained..
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i did asked a venerable about it .. he said that other beings are already conditioned.. well, i think in other words they do have a choice whether to act on it.. some might not be affected and some might not.. but i still feel bad.. i hope im not causing sufferings for others..Originally posted by An Eternal Now:imho.. We do what is right and what doesn't harm oneself or others. If they harbour ill will or wants to think of what you do in a negative way, that is their wrong.. not yours.
I think speaking is necessary at times and one shouldn't just refrain from it just because one wants to avoid saying some wrongful things. Mindfulness is important but it can be trained..
what i am practising is rather unskillful and so i have realised after first few days of the camp. The venerable did advise wisely about it too.
Im gg back to dharma camp later as i need to leave for some other matters. How can i break there "werid feeling". and im the quite shy kind.
Venerable advised me about practising metta meditation. However, i worried that i might react due to habit of the mind towards other people if they behave negatively. i might feel abit negatively and though i think i could most likely behave neutrally. -
Metta meditation I think works very well. Because there is a quality of universal friendliness - like the whole world is full of love and friendliness. In metta there is no anger, no suspicion, no jealousy, no fear, no whatever. In short, among true friends, there is no problems.Originally posted by Isis:i did asked a venerable about it .. he said that other beings are already conditioned.. well, i think in other words they do have a choice whether to act on it.. some might not be affected and some might not.. but i still feel bad.. i hope im not causing sufferings for others..
what i am practising is rather unskillful and so i have realised after first few days of the camp. The venerable did advise wisely about it too.
Im gg back to dharma camp later as i need to leave for some other matters. How can i break there "werid feeling". and im the quite shy kind.
Venerable advised me about practising metta meditation. However, i worried that i might react due to habit of the mind towards other people if they behave negatively. i might feel abit negatively and though i think i could most likely behave neutrally. -
Wise Company gives good Advantage:
The blessed Buddha on Noble Friendship:
I am a friend and helper to all,
I am sympathetic to all living beings.
I develop a mind full of love & one
who always delight in harmlessness.
I gladden my mind, fill it with joy,
and make it immovable and unshakable.
I develop these divine states of mind
not cultivated by simple men.
Theragatha 648-9
I am a friend of the footless,
I am a friend of the bipeds;
I am a friend of those with four feet,
I am a friend of the many-footed.
May not the footless harm me,
may not the bipeds harm me,
may not those with four feet harm me,
and may not those with many feet harm me.
AN II 72
A friend who always lends a hand,
a friend both in sorrow and joy,
a friend who offers good counsel,
a friend who sympathizes too.
These are the four kinds of true friends:
one who is wise, having understood,
will always cherish and serve such friends
just as a mother tends her only child.
DN III, 188
Among tigers, lions, leopards & bears I lived on the wood.
No one was frightened of me, nor did I fear anyone.
Uplifted by such universal friendliness, I enjoyed the forest.
Finding great solace in such silent solitude.
Suvanna-sama Jataka 540
And how does a bhikkhu abide with his mind imbued with friendliness
extending over one direction? Just as he would feel friendliness on
seeing a dearly favourite person, so he extends loving-kindness
to all beings in all directions, as above so below.
Abhidhamma Pitaka: Appamanna-vibhanga
Bhikkhus, whatever kinds of worldly merit there are, all are not worth
one sixteenth part of the release of mind by universal friendliness;
in shining, glowing and beaming radiance such release of mind by
universal friendliness far excels & surpasses them all...
Itivuttaka 27
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Lastly, enjoy your camp. -
careful cos raining season...Originally posted by Isis:i did asked a venerable about it .. he said that other beings are already conditioned.. well, i think in other words they do have a choice whether to act on it.. some might not be affected and some might not.. but i still feel bad.. i hope im not causing sufferings for others..
what i am practising is rather unskillful and so i have realised after first few days of the camp. The venerable did advise wisely about it too.
Im gg back to dharma camp later as i need to leave for some other matters. How can i break there "werid feeling". and im the quite shy kind.
Venerable advised me about practising metta meditation. However, i worried that i might react due to habit of the mind towards other people if they behave negatively. i might feel abit negatively and though i think i could most likely behave neutrally. -
Talking about Dharma Camp, I heard one of the tertiary institutes just had a Dharma Camp at PKS, dunno whether is it the same. u from NUS?Originally posted by Isis:ok why i am asking this is: i just come back from a dharma camp. In this dharma camp, my initial intention is to cultivate. However, i wanted to be mindful of my speech. Thus i could refrain myself from talking (as i haven't refined my mindfulness yet , i can only retain myself from creating bad speech > due to arise of self ego, attention seeking and harsh speech as i want to practise mindfulness. )
In addition, im aso quite shy.
Now i feel real bad for causing some awkwardness for others. I do know that in a camp, i should interact but then after causing some awkward feeling among one another due to my silence practise..it has became rather hard to start open up again?
Having organised one of these camps before, I believe they are usually more oriented towards fun and getting to know people.
I have heard about people mentioning skillful means and how it can be used in different situations. The reply given above is quite good, in using metta in such a situation, especially when there are many people around. Constantly reflecting on metta will give everyone around you a strong welcoming feel.
It is commendable that you have taken such a strong determination towards cultivating mindfulness. Truly rejoiceful. -
Yup Isis is from NUS... I think this is her last year. Oh and never seen u b4, hope to see u in the forum more oftenOriginally posted by mochi_cake:Talking about Dharma Camp, I heard one of the tertiary institutes just had a Dharma Camp at PKS, dunno whether is it the same. u from NUS?
Having organised one of these camps before, I believe they are usually more oriented towards fun and getting to know people.
I have heard about people mentioning skillful means and how it can be used in different situations. The reply given above is quite good, in using metta in such a situation, especially when there are many people around. Constantly reflecting on metta will give everyone around you a strong welcoming feel.
It is commendable that you have taken such a strong determination towards cultivating mindfulness. Truly rejoiceful. -
How about this:
"I am a friend with stupidity."Theragatha 648-9
I am a friend of the footless,
I am a friend of the bipeds;
I am a friend of those with four feet,
I am a friend of the many-footed.
May not the footless harm me,
may not the bipeds harm me,
may not those with four feet harm me,
and may not those with many feet harm me. -
Originally posted by Herzog_Zwei:How about this:
"I am a friend with stupidity."
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I tried metta meditation as advised by the venerable. It works really well.Originally posted by An Eternal Now:Metta meditation I think works very well. Because there is a quality of universal friendliness - like the whole world is full of love and friendliness. In metta there is no anger, no suspicion, no jealousy, no fear, no whatever. In short, among true friends, there is no problems.
Just came back from the camp. Had a good time over there.
The bonding, participants, GL, organisation of the entired camp and dharma program was enjoyable and enriching at the same time ( as also feedback by my teamates ).
/\ sadhu x3 -
I see.. that's greatOriginally posted by Isis:I tried metta meditation as advised by the venerable. It works really well.
Just came back from the camp. Had a good time over there.
The bonding, participants, GL, organisation of the entired camp and dharma program was enjoyable and enriching at the same time ( as also feedback by my teamates ).
/\ sadhu x3 I think Buddhism in Singapore is doing the right thing in having more dharma camps for youth... it works very well. I think we should have learnt from the churches earlier 