craving for there someone cause suffering
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I have a major crush on someone for quite some time and lately i have been thinking, aching or perhaps even lusting for him but then I can't really love him.
[Don't ask me why]
My mind has been restless, and prone to irritation probably due to him.
My mind seems muddled.
so i try to do some breathing meditation to clear and calm my mind today.
It is very hard to control the feelings when it is arised cos it is rather strong.
craving for someone-who-u-can't-love cause suffering..
so any advise... how to over come it? -
thats mental suffering.
let time and tide heal your mental anguish ba. time will heal your wounds.
how abt volunteer so that you dun spend 2 much time thinking abt it -
Let him know about it and let it blow if he doesnt like you so you can rest in peace? Or he can like you and you can be happy?
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Is he a married man? Is he your dad, cousin or brother?
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He's just a passing cloud so let it pass youOriginally posted by Isis:I have a major crush on someone for quite some time and lately i have been thinking, aching or perhaps even lusting for him but then I can't really love him.
[Don't ask me why]
My mind has been restless, and prone to irritation probably due to him.
My mind seems muddled.
so i try to do some breathing meditation to clear and calm my mind today.
It is very hard to control the feelings when it is arised cos it is rather strong.
craving for someone-who-u-can't-love cause suffering..
so any advise... how to over come it?
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Please state your title in proper English else it is hard for people to understand your problems.
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Originally posted by maggot:He's just a passing cloud so let it pass you
Agreed with Maggot.
He is just another passenger in ur bus and will drop off when he reached his destination. Why
over someone that you cannot be together or love. -
Then comes the question: Why even bother to love?Originally posted by csp3976:
Agreed with Maggot.
He is just another passenger in ur bus and will drop off when he reached his destination. Why over someone that you cannot be together or love. -
Love is an excuse for sexOriginally posted by Herzog_Zwei:Then comes the question: Why even bother to love? -
your brother in law?
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Avoid or reduce contact with him. Meditate to calm or clear ur mind loh.Originally posted by Eric Cartman:your brother in law? -
I agree meditating is a good way but it cannot be the long term solution.You must muster courage to confess your feelings .Then whether he likes you or not ..you have got your answer..and still feel better.Originally posted by csp3976:Avoid or reduce contact with him. Meditate to calm or clear ur mind loh. -
Ok I won't ask you why you can't love him.Originally posted by Isis:I have a major crush on someone for quite some time and lately i have been thinking, aching or perhaps even lusting for him but then I can't really love him.
[Don't ask me why]
My mind has been restless, and prone to irritation probably due to him.
My mind seems muddled.
so i try to do some breathing meditation to clear and calm my mind today.
It is very hard to control the feelings when it is arised cos it is rather strong.
craving for someone-who-u-can't-love cause suffering..
so any advise... how to over come it?
Is he someone that you have to meet frequently in your day-to-day life? If not, just let him go. DonÂ’t need to avoid him purposelly. At the same time, donÂ’t seek him out either. Occupy your time with activities that will take your mind elsewhere. It will still hurt for a while, but you will get over the aching in time.
If on the other hand, he is someone that you cannot avoid, then it gets a little more complicated. I would suggest seeing the relationship from the following angles:
You cannot be in love with someone till you spent a lot of quality time together. By quality time, I mean the time you two spent opening frankly up to each other on your feelings, likes & dislikes etc. Quality time will also include the ‘down’ side of a relation… I believe that a person’s ‘true’ nature can only be revealed in ‘bad’ times. Until this happens, you may be in love only with a mental construct made up by yourself (based on your notion of an ideal lover, and the projection of his outward characteristics), rather than the ‘actual’ person that he is.
The ‘lust’ side of things is actually pretty simple to manage… Whenever I see a pretty lady and felt the first stirring of lustful desire. I just need to imagine the lady’s appearance 40years down the line…. Works better than a cold shower. I am not sure this technique will work on man, since man goes by a different yardstick to women when it comes to physical attractiveness etc., but it is still worth a try...
To feel for someone is a good thing, but if you take that feeling to an extreme, it then becomes an obsession, an attachment and a fetter...
May you be free of your suffering
May all beings be free of sufferings -
You have made a right move to speak it outOriginally posted by Isis:I have a major crush on someone for quite some time and lately i have been thinking, aching or perhaps even lusting for him but then I can't really love him.
[Don't ask me why]
My mind has been restless, and prone to irritation probably due to him.
My mind seems muddled.
so i try to do some breathing meditation to clear and calm my mind today.
It is very hard to control the feelings when it is arised cos it is rather strong.
craving for someone-who-u-can't-love cause suffering..
so any advise... how to over come it? the more you hide or the more you suppress it, the more self-attachment you will have. -
Hi people,
i m grateful for the good intention instilled in the comments and replies.
im feeling alot better now.
Life has to go on...
Sharing this story with everyone which i had just heard
A king once asked these three questions to a hermit and this wise hermit answered and the king is satisfied.
When is the most important time ?
Ans: NOW.
Sideliner: Don't procrastinate and put off the important thing. Live everyday as though it is your last. We are all dying everyday as we age.
Who is the most important people?
Ans: The people around you
Sideliner: The people around you refers to your family, friends and people whom you come into contact with every day.
Some of you might think that You are the most important and the world only evolves around you but you have to realise that too much self-importance lead to self-conceited and arrogance. No man survive without the help of others.Think about your food. Who grow the grains, rear the cows and cook the delicious food for your survival? heh.
What is the most important thing?
Ans: To care for the people around you.
Happy New Year Everyone!
May You be well and happy.
May all Sentient beings be free of suffering. -
Turn it into Bodhisattva's kind of love and compassion.Originally posted by Isis:I have a major crush on someone for quite some time and lately i have been thinking, aching or perhaps even lusting for him but then I can't really love him.
[Don't ask me why]
My mind has been restless, and prone to irritation probably due to him.
My mind seems muddled.
so i try to do some breathing meditation to clear and calm my mind today.
It is very hard to control the feelings when it is arised cos it is rather strong.
craving for someone-who-u-can't-love cause suffering..
so any advise... how to over come it?
Remember I sent you a document my friend wrote? He too cannot go into a relationship with someone for some reason... he wrote how he could overcome it. I think he didn't write the part on how my taiwanese teacher taught him about the transformation of 'craveful passion' into bodhisattva's compassion. It works very well so you can try it.. maybe the person you had a crush is the first person you save when you become enlightened.