Funeral Services
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If lets say, a family member were to pass away (everyone will die one day) and were to, say pass away at home, what shd one do?
Call police up, or send the corpse to hospital for autopsy, then receive the death cert and collect back the body isn't it, then what next? Call funeral services for coffin, tables and chairs and other stuff for the 3 days wake?
For Buddhist, is it possible to to hold just 1 day wake, instead of 3 days?
Can ask monks come chant at the wake? heard that it will costs a lot to ask the monk come chant 3 days 3 nite's isnt it?
Anyone got the experiences of arrange for funeral services? I wan to know the cost, got 10k or not? -
i buddhist ma.
cannot 3 days la, if liddat how the spirit get all the "money" for the trip?
and oso, nid lots of chanting and rituals to alert him that there's "money" for him. -
thats not Buddhist practise., thats Taoist.Originally posted by gigabyte14:i buddhist ma.
cannot 3 days la, if liddat how the spirit get all the "money" for the trip?
and oso, nid lots of chanting and rituals to alert him that there's "money" for him. -
Dedication of merits is not about getting money. In Buddhism, we hope that everyone will be liberated, or be reborn in Pure Land or at least in higher realms. We certainly do not want to be reborn in the ghost realm.Originally posted by gigabyte14:i buddhist ma.
cannot 3 days la, if liddat how the spirit get all the "money" for the trip?
and oso, nid lots of chanting and rituals to alert him that there's "money" for him.
And even in the ghost realm, burning things like paper money or houses or cars etc doesn't help. All these cannot help those living in the ghost realm. It is through doing meritious deeds like offering to the Sangha, chanting in puja then dedicating the merits to the deceased that will help. -
Related topic on dedicating merits:
http://www.jenchen.org.sg/vol5no1a.htm
Among the chief disciples of the Buddha was one named Maudgalyayana. He had immense supernatural powers: Deva-foot ubiquity which made it possible for him to appear at any place at will, the divine sight of Deva-eye to have unlimited vision of all things, large and small, near and distant; Deva-ear to hear all sounds regardless of the distance. Furthermore, he had the ability to read and understand whatever was in a person's mind. He also had the ability to see clearly the events that occurred in a person's many past lives aeons ago. Thus, Maudgalyayana is considered to be a Maha-Bodhisattva who is foremost in supernatural powers.
One day, his Deva-eye saw that his deceased mother had transmigrated to the realm of the hungry ghost. Her stomach was enlarged and she had tiny limbs. Her throat was as small as the eye of a needle, and as a result, it was impossible for her to eat any food or even to swallow a drop of water. Maudgalyayana could not bear the sight of his mother in such an extreme state of suffering. He immediately filled his alms bowl with food and with the immense power that he possessed, he sent it to his mother. However, she could not have the food because each time it turned into charcoal before she could put it in her mouth. It hurt Maudgalyayana to see what was happening and because of his strong emotion for his mother, it hindered his ability to see the karma that she had committed in her past lives. He went to Buddha for advice. The Buddha closed his eyes and entered into pure contemplation. With great compassion and gentleness, he said: "Maudgalyayana, your mother did not believe in the retributions arising from the law of cause and effect. She committed many evil deeds. She dishonoured the Buddha and insulted the Sangha [1], had no respect for the Three Treasures (Buddha, Dharma and Sangha), was greedy, filled with hatred, ignorant and arrogant. She was a wicked person who committed many evils, and she teased others giving them no peace. Therefore, she is suffering such a bitter consequence. Even though you are her son and your filial piety touches the heavens, these are still not able to save a person who had committed such serious evil karma." On hearing this, Maudgalyayana wept in pain.
The Buddha continued to console him, "It is impossible to rely solely on your own effort to save your mother from the realm of the hungry ghost. The only way is to use the combined merits of the Sangha. The 15th day of the 7th month of each year is designated "Buddha's Joy Day". This is the last day of the Sangha's summer retreat, and because of the purity with which the Sangha observed the precepts and practised cultivation, many attain the Bodhi [2]. The merits that they accumulate are immense beyond imagination, and the Buddha is most delighted. If you make an offering to these Sangha during this time, you can liberate your deceased parents and relatives from the suffering of the three evil realms (realms of animal, hungry ghost and hell) through their immense merits. If the parents are still living, then they shall be blessed with good health, happiness and a life of abundance. This is the truly marvellous method of giving salvation to the deceased." Maudgalyayana was delighted to hear this, and carried out the Buddha's advice accordingly. Thus, on the 15th of the 7th month after the offering to the Sangha, Maudgalyayana's mother was liberated from the suffering of the realm of the hungry ghost.
To give offering to the Sangha in this way is called the 'Ullambana' method. After Maudgalyayana received the benefits from this Dharma, he was very grateful to the Buddha and praised the merits of the Three Treasures. He advised people to promote the 'Ullambana Dharma'. This day, the 15th of the 7th month, can also be considered an occasion to express our gratitude and filial piety to our parents and ancestors. Unfortunately, the passage of time saw a gradual erosion in its understanding and purpose, so much so that this special occasion is not performed in accordance to the Dharma. Today, this auspicious celebration has become a day of widespread slaughter of animals to be used as offering to the hungry ghosts. The original act of performing offerings to the Sangha has become a day for feasting and making offerings to the hungry ghosts, often referred to as 'to invite the good brothers to a feast'. These practices are not only against the compassion of the Buddha, but also a let down to Maudgalyayana who had advised the world to be filial and to perform good deeds.
When we refrain from killing and protect all lives, we actually accumulate the merit of longevity and good health. It is meaningless to kill other living beings and offer them to the ghost, because they cannot benefit from these at all. Instead, those who kill shall have to repay for their action by suffering endlessly in hell. Unless we put an end to all forms of killing, the world forever shall not have peace. If the tradition of offering to the ghosts and the deceased on this day cannot be changed, the least we could do is to replace the slaughter and offer of meat with vegetarian food, flowers or fruits. It does not matter if we are not able to make offerings to the Sangha on this day, but at least we could invite them to chant the sutra for the purpose of liberating the deceased. In this way, it benefits both the living and the deceased.
Notes
1. Sangha
The corporate assembly of at least 3 monks; in general the term has come to mean a monk, or monks.
2. Bodhi
From budh; knowledge, understanding; perfect wisdom; the illuminated or enlightened mind. -
mine is buddhist leh, the guy said 1...Originally posted by marcteng:thats not Buddhist practise., thats Taoist.
cos 2 months ago my grandpa passed away he liddat say 1 ma.
the ritual liddat 1 lo -
Not Buddhist la.. many folks practitioner think they are Buddhist. However, they do not know about the teachings of Buddhism... neither have they taken refuge in the three treasures and thus isn't true Buddhist. Buddhist don't talk about spirit getting money.Originally posted by gigabyte14:mine is buddhist leh, the guy said 1...
cos 2 months ago my grandpa passed away he liddat say 1 ma.
the ritual liddat 1 lo -
which guy? is it a taoist monk or buddhist monk?Originally posted by gigabyte14:mine is buddhist leh, the guy said 1...
cos 2 months ago my grandpa passed away he liddat say 1 ma.
the ritual liddat 1 lo
how much ur family pay for the funeral services eh? -
When you mean by 1-day funeral, do you mean burial/cremation on the same day as death? I think there's a law stipulating that at least 24 hours must pass before one can hold the funeral service. And yes, it is OK to hold a one-night funeral, quite common in Japan to do so.
Buddhist funerals are meant to be simple. And, no, you do not have to pay enormous amounts of money for one to be done. One should refrain from having "professional" chanting monks normally "employed" by some funeral service companies coming down. If you attend a temple/organisation regularly they would normally be quite pleased to have the service done for you at a nominal price (dana). My relatives had bad experience with some of these pro-chanting monks and as a Buddhist myself i was quite embarrassed and angry.
Normally in terms of illnesses an autopsy need not be done but in accidents, probably one would needed. -
At Home, call the doctor (someone whom the deceased had history with), and or call police. Police's job is to certify no foul play, if you don't have doctor, they will call coroner.Originally posted by marcteng:If lets say, a family member were to pass away (everyone will die one day) and were to, say pass away at home, what shd one do?
Call police up, or send the corpse to hospital for autopsy, then receive the death cert and collect back the body isn't it, then what next? Call funeral services for coffin, tables and chairs and other stuff for the 3 days wake?
For Buddhist, is it possible to to hold just 1 day wake, instead of 3 days?
Can ask monks come chant at the wake? heard that it will costs a lot to ask the monk come chant 3 days 3 nite's isnt it?
Anyone got the experiences of arrange for funeral services? I wan to know the cost, got 10k or not?
Then you call funeral services, who will arrange everything for you.
1 day wake is possible. Cost involved, you must check the bill after.
Many times they take advantage of your "blurness" due to funeral and charge you for things you did not ask for.
1 day funeral should be 10k or so.
My ex-gf was the "treasurer" during her grandma's funeral, she checked the bill and were charged ridiculously for several items..
like.. 40 sets of mourning clothes, 30 cartons of packet drinks, laundry charges for mourning clothes $500+.
When confronted, they said sorry because the bill is usually standard template and that people normally use those items. -
So expensive... like that, all savings will gone !!
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Maybe i should start opening a funeral service company.. if it is really 10k earning in what 1 or 3 days...
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True, a funeral service company can make alot of profit cos:
1) everyone will die one day
2) u can charge extremely ridiculous expenses (just joking)
OF COS, there are always alot of bad-hats around too, so just be more cautious when choosing a funeral service coy. -
which funeral services companies is reputable?
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1 day 10kOriginally posted by Ponders:1 day wake is possible. Cost involved, you must check the bill after.
Many times they take advantage of your "blurness" due to funeral and charge you for things you did not ask for.
1 day funeral should be 10k or so.
My ex-gf was the "treasurer" during her grandma's funeral, she checked the bill and were charged ridiculously for several items..
like.. 40 sets of mourning clothes, 30 cartons of packet drinks, laundry charges for mourning clothes $500+.
When confronted, they said sorry because the bill is usually standard template and that people normally use those items.
3 days 30k
got cheaper than that or not -
orh ps my bad...Originally posted by An Eternal Now:Not Buddhist la.. many folks practitioner think they are Buddhist. However, they do not know about the teachings of Buddhism... neither have they taken refuge in the three treasures and thus isn't true Buddhist. Buddhist don't talk about spirit getting money.
so im taoist ah? ooooo
i now den kno! -
Hi,Originally posted by gigabyte14:orh ps my bad...
so im taoist ah? ooooo
i now den kno!
AEN is rite.What u mentioned is not Buddhist practices.Infact a real Buddhist funeral is a simple, solemn and dignified religious service
A practised in many Buddhist countries, a real Buddhist funeral is a simple, solemn and dignified ceremony. Unfortunately, some people have included many unnecessary, extraneous items and superstitious practices into the funeral rites. The extraneous items and practices vary according to the traditions and customs of the people. They were introduced in olden days by people who probably could not understand the nature of life, nature of death, and what life would be after death. When such ideas were incorporated into Buddhist practices, people tended to blame Buddhism for expensive funeral rites. If only the Buddhist public would approach proper persons who have studied the real Teachings of the Buddha and Buddhist tradition, they could receive advice on how to perform Buddhist funeral rites. It is most unfortunate that a bad impression has been created that Buddhism encourages people to waste their money and time on unnecessary practices. It must be clearly understood that Buddhism has nothing to do with such debased practices.
Buddhist are not very particular regarding the burial or cremation of a dead body. In many Buddhist countries, cremation is customary. For hygienic and economic reasons, it is advisable to cremate. Today, the population in the world is increasing and if we continue to have dead bodies occupying valuable land, then one day all remaining available land will be occupied by the dead and the living will have no place to live.
There are still some people who object to the cremation of the dead bodies. They say that cremation is against god's law, in the same way they have objected many other things in the past. It will take some time for such people to understand that cremation is much more appropriate and effective than burial.
On the other hand Buddhists do not believe that one day someone will come and awaken the departed persons spirits from their graveyards or the ashes from their urns and decide who should go to heaven and who should go to hell.
The consciousness or mental energy of the departed person has no connection with the body left behind or his skeleton or his ashes. Many people believe that if the deceased is not given a proper burial or if a sanctified tombstone is not placed on the grave, then the soul of the deceased will wander to the four corners of the world and weep and wail and sometimes even return to disturb the relatives. Such a belief cannot be found anywhere in Buddhism.
Buddhists believe that when a persomn dies, rebirth will take place some where else according to his good or bad actions, as long as the person processes the craving for existence, he must experience rebirth. Only the Arahants, who have gone beyond all passions will have no more rebirths and so after their death, they will attain their final gaols Nibbana.
By Ven. Dr. K Sri Dhammananda -
Singapore casket lor.Originally posted by marcteng:which funeral services companies is reputable? -
how much your grandpa funeral services costs?Originally posted by gigabyte14:orh ps my bad...
so im taoist ah? ooooo
i now den kno! -
Unfortunately, some people have included many unnecessary, extraneous items and superstitious practices into the funeral rites. The extraneous items and practices vary according to the traditions and customs of the people.
Hmm... beg to differ.
I see it as a compromise between the 2 religions. Sorry if I offend both religions.
I was a Taoist, but is now a Buddhist. Meanwhile, my grandparents did not convert to Buddhism, so when they passed away, they preferred the funeral to be done in a Taoist way.
My parents don't feel so, rather than be an unfilial child and do what they like, they combine both the Taoism practices and Buddhism practices. Everything was much like Taoism, only that the chanting is carried out by Buddhist monks. -
how much the funeral services cost for your grandparents funeral eh, you know?Originally posted by ndmmxiaomayi:Hmm... beg to differ.
I see it as a compromise between the 2 religions. Sorry if I offend both religions.
I was a Taoist, but is now a Buddhist. Meanwhile, my grandparents did not convert to Buddhism, so when they passed away, they preferred the funeral to be done in a Taoist way.
My parents don't feel so, rather than be an unfilial child and do what they like, they combine both the Taoism practices and Buddhism practices. Everything was much like Taoism, only that the chanting is carried out by Buddhist monks. -
Don't know... my parents did everything... me not involved much anyway. Grand-daughter...Originally posted by marcteng:how much the funeral services cost for your grandparents funeral eh, you know? -
thnks for sharingOriginally posted by ndmmxiaomayi:Hmm... beg to differ.
I see it as a compromise between the 2 religions. Sorry if I offend both religions.
I was a Taoist, but is now a Buddhist. Meanwhile, my grandparents did not convert to Buddhism, so when they passed away, they preferred the funeral to be done in a Taoist way.
My parents don't feel so, rather than be an unfilial child and do what they like, they combine both the Taoism practices and Buddhism practices. Everything was much like Taoism, only that the chanting is carried out by Buddhist monks.
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I think Buddhism and Taoism are in the same league. Not only do they share the same cultural heritage (for Chinese Buddhism), they are also common in that both religions' teachings do not alienate, persecute, pressurize, proselytize and convert people of other faiths. More importantly, both religions emphasize one's deeds and moral ethics over the name/shape/appearance of a deity one has to believe in.Originally posted by ndmmxiaomayi:Hmm... beg to differ.
I see it as a compromise between the 2 religions. Sorry if I offend both religions.
I was a Taoist, but is now a Buddhist. Meanwhile, my grandparents did not convert to Buddhism, so when they passed away, they preferred the funeral to be done in a Taoist way.
My parents don't feel so, rather than be an unfilial child and do what they like, they combine both the Taoism practices and Buddhism practices. Everything was much like Taoism, only that the chanting is carried out by Buddhist monks.
Ultimately, funeral rituals are just that... a ritual. Your deceased grandparents will still enjoy the merits of their good deeds be they Buddhists or Taoists. And they will also stand to enjoy the transference of merits flowing from their descendants' good deeds, whether those descendants are Buddhists or Taoists. -
There's no such thing as deity in Buddhism... that's the fundamental difference between Buddhism and Taoism.Originally posted by Beyond Religion:I think Buddhism and Taoism are in the same league. Not only do they share the same cultural heritage (for Chinese Buddhism), they are also common in that both religions' teachings do not alienate, persecute, pressurize, proselytize and convert people of other faiths. More importantly, both religions emphasize one's deeds and moral ethics over the name/shape/appearance of a deity one has to believe in.
Ultimately, funeral rituals are just that... a ritual. Your deceased grandparents will still enjoy the merits of their good deeds be they Buddhists or Taoists. And they will also stand to enjoy the transference of merits flowing from their descendants' good deeds, whether those descendants are Buddhists or Taoists.
Either way, you are right about both Taoism and Buddhism, and about rituals just being rituals.