Truth of the Middle Way
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Remain mindful, aware, and not attached to any thoughts/feelings/emotions. If a thought arise that's ok, if you don't pay attention to it/ignore it, it cannot obstruct your meditation.. only when you identify with the thoughts, continuing a chain of thoughts as a result, that distrupts your meditation. So it's fine to love your girlfriend, but if you keep thinking and thinking of your girlfriend in meditation or practise that defeats the purpose. Anyway the attachment to relationship (whether gf, family, etc) is one of the hardest to break... in fact my dharma teacher say that's the last one to break free completely. Even an initial awakening to our true nature/Buddha nature is not enough. However, Buddhist teachings has many ways on how to deal or transform these attachments.Originally posted by T.Ryousuke:How many ppl can do that, I'm not there yet but at least when I close my eyes my mind is empty. But I still have love for my gf, and the rest is meaningless to me. Where to go from here?
Back to topic.. so other than being thoughtless in meditation, mindfulness/awareness is important. If you want to meditate... it's best if you're beginner to practise mindfulness of breathing... means when you seat.. you are aware of every sensation of the breathing in and breathing out.. whether it is cold or hot, soft or hard, etc. Other than that there's stuff to look out for: postures, mudras, which can stabilise the mind, among other things. It's best to learn under a qualified teacher but there are meditation instructions that can be found from books and website... just make sure the materials you're reading are from authentic Buddhism that can really lead you to enlightenment and not some cults or whatever... but if you're interested I can post some basic instructions here regarding mindfulness of breathing. Also another thing is mindfulness/meditation is not limited to sitting... a Buddhist practitioner should be mindful whether sitting, standing, or walking... means all the time, whether working or resting. (though sitting meditation is also important) See http://buddhism.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=242880 This article is also good and explains what is mindfulness: http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma4/mpe13.html -
Time will wash away or at least part of the memories. Things are impermanent, it is the way of life. Treasure what u have, the people around u NOW.Originally posted by T.Ryousuke:How many ppl can do that, I'm not there yet but at least when I close my eyes my mind is empty. But I still have love for my gf, and the rest is meaningless to me. Where to go from here?
Life goes on. The earth revolves around the sun with or without you moving away from the spot you are in now. So get ur life moving even with pain and sorrow. Understand that all these ( saddness, happiness ) are also impermanent. Stop clinging onto own suffering, let urself and the past unhappy to go away. Shift ur focus away from focusing on the bleak door. Be open-minded. There are actually many doors of happiness around you.
Btw life is dukkha. It is nature of our existence that we will suffer. However, it does not mean being negative about life. [perhaps u can read more on what is dukkha too ]
EHHHHHH i make a mistake.. sori sori
> I made a blunder in my previous posting.
Past is merely present memories, and future is a reconstruction of thoughts from the memory.
Attachments to past, present, future, are all illusions.
To truly live in the present without illusions is to get rid of all the attachments.
A Japanese warrior was captured by his enemies and thrown into prison. That night he was unable to sleep because he feared that the next day he would be interrogated, tortured, and executed. Then the words of his Zen master came to him, "Tomorrow is not real. It is an illusion. The only reality is now." Heeding these words, the warrior became peaceful and fell asleep. -
Har? The relationship broke off ah.. Sorry I din know
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Originally posted by An Eternal Now:
it helps.. but take consistent practise..
As the article above said:
[b]...You can't develop mindfulness by force. Active teeth gritting willpower won't do you any good at all. As a matter of fact, it will hinder progress. Mindfulness cannot be cultivated by struggle. It grows by realizing, by letting go, by just settling down in the moment and letting yourself get comfortable with whatever you are experiencing. This does not mean that mindfulness happens all by itself. Far from it. Energy is required. Effort is required. But this effort is different from force. Mindfulness is cultivated by a gentle effort, by effortless effort. The meditator cultivates mindfulness by constantly reminding himself in a gentle way to maintain his awareness of whatever is happening right now. Persistence and a light touch are the secrets. Mindfulness is cultivated by constantly pulling oneself back to a state of awareness, gently, gently, gently...
Another thing he said just in the article above which might be useful..
There is, however, another Catch-22. Mindfulness does not react to what it sees. It just sees and understands. Mindfulness is the essence of patience. Therefore, whatever you see must be simply accepted, acknowledged and dispassionately observed. This is not easy, but it is utterly necessary. We are ignorant. We are selfish and greedy and boastful. We lust and we lie. These are facts. Mindfulness means seeing these facts and being patient with ourselves, accepting ourselves as we are. That goes against the grain. We don't want to accept. We want to deny it. Or change it, or justify it. But acceptance is the essence of mindfulness. If we want to grow in mindfulness we must accept what mindfulness finds. It may be boredom, irritation, or fear. It may be weakness, inadequacy, or faults. Whatever it is, that is the way we are. That is what is real.
Mindfulness simply accepts whatever is there. If you want to grow in mindfulness, patient acceptance is the only route. Mindfulness grows only one way: by continuous practice of mindfulness, by simply trying to be mindful, and that means being patient. The process cannot be forced and it cannot be rushed. It proceeds at its own pace.
How to be mindful... being mindful is being bare, clear, aware. If you are thinking incessantly.. dwelling on the youtube video you watched yesterday or daydreaming about your future husband or what... thats not being mindful. When you caught yourself thinking and there's a sudden withdrawal from the content of the thoughts, or the thoughts are allowed to pass without reacting or dwelling more on them, that is a form of mindfulness. Mindfulness is aware of things as they are without reacting or attaching to them.. it is non egotistic, non preferential, etc etc.. and there is crystal clarity of what is arising in consciousness. Mindfulness also brings you back to the object of attention if you have lost yourself... for example on breathing meditation, but also things like listening in class (see the three fundamental activities of mindfulness). Please read this chapter on mindfulness if you haven't (you probably had, I've pasted so many times
): http://www.budsas.org/ebud/mfneng/mind13.htm[/b] -
Yes... consistency is very important.Originally posted by Isis:it helps.. but take consistent practise.. -
interesting
A Japanese warrior was captured by his enemies and thrown into prison. That night he was unable to sleep because he feared that the next day he would be interrogated, tortured, and executed. Then the words of his Zen master came to him, "Tomorrow is not real. It is an illusion. The only reality is now." Heeding these words, the warrior became peaceful and fell asleep. [/i][/b]
first time i heard japanese zen stories -
Din break off, I have seen the ugly side of human, I have change my view toward ppl. For those who r trueful to me will be my best friends.Originally posted by An Eternal Now:Har? The relationship broke off ah.. Sorry I din know
I just wanna have a peace of mind and the wisdom to see the truth. -
Icic.. thats gd. Anyway initially Isis wrote something that I thought your relationship has gone wrong.. but she edited laterOriginally posted by T.Ryousuke:Din break off, I have seen the ugly side of human, I have change my view toward ppl. For those who r trueful to me will be my best friends.
I just wanna have a peace of mind and the wisdom to see the truth. -
Eh i wana ask are u 100% perfect goody human being? No one is 100% good and bad. Have u done anything wrong to others before? There are grey areas in btw. i think we sometime tend to judge people too much and end up losing perspective of who they really are.. people make mistakes too. I aso lose faith in people too and people lose faith in me too but along the way, we make new friends who give new hope again.Originally posted by T.Ryousuke:Din break off, I have seen the ugly side of human, I have change my view toward ppl. For those who r trueful to me will be my best friends.
I just wanna have a peace of mind and the wisdom to see the truth.
Perhaps u have work with yourself. I.e learning to let go of the hurt, anger and suffering that u have towards them, and stop attachment. It is not really about "them".
May you be well and happy!
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