Wanderer sent me this very inspiring passage of a woman who shown absolute GURU devotion till the day she seek rebirth in Dewachen in December 2006 at the age of 85.
Hope it will touch your heart too.
A Tribute to Ann Hentz
Ann Hentz was a scholar and an English professor of Lake Forest College in United State. She had read many books on Buddhism and was looking for a spiritual guide.
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The magic moment happened during one of her pilgrimage trip to India in 1990. It was a organized pilgrimage trip and when they arrived in Kalimpong, the group leader informed the group participants that a famous Lama was giving transmission to 500 monks and nuns at a monastery and he was willing to give Refuge. Ann took refuge with this Lama during this short visit to the monastery in Kalimpong. This Lama was Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche and he was giving the Dudjom Terser at Dudjom RinpocheÂ’s monastery in Kalimpong at the time.
After the Refuge ceremony, Rinpoche gave his contact number for Ann to write to him.
Upon returning to the States, Ann wrote to Rinpoche to ask when would he be coming to America so she could meet with him again. Rinpoche replied with a certain date and place and asked her to go to California. Ann made her way to California from Chicago and she landed in a 10 days private retreat of Vajrakilaya with a small group of Rinpoche's students.
It was at this Vajrakilaya retreat that I met Ann for the first time and we become very good friend since then. I remembered at the retreat, she would sit through all the sessions when Rinpoche gave the most detailed explanations of the Sadhana. She never missed a single session. She kept saying: "I donÂ’t know or understand anything, but I'm staying". At that time Ann was a total beginner in Buddhism but her determination and dedication for the Dharma was most impressive.
Since then, she attended all of Rinpoche's teaching in the US and Canada. She followed Rinpoche's suggestion and completed the 5 levels of Shambhala training at the Shamabha center in Chicago. She often told me: "I keep telling the Shambhala sangha that: “your're my sangha in Chicago but my root Guru is Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche". There was not a single doubt in Ann’s mind that Rinpoche was her root teacher. Ann had immense faith and devotion towards Rinpoche and under his guidance, she completed several personal retreats at SSRC.
Ann's health deteriorated over the years with "serious lung disease" and by 1998 she needed to be on oxygen constantly. During her last retreat at SSRC in 2000, she needed to carry oxygen with her as she travelled from Chicago to Vancouver which was quite a risk for her. When asked if she was afraid, she would reply: "If I were to die, there isn't a better place than SSRC".
Ann's health continued to deteriorate to the point when she could no longer travel. She was house bound during the last 6 years of her life.
It became obviously to friends that Ann was not afraid of dying. She often referred to dying as 'changing to new clothes' and she had made all the preparation ahead of time. When asked why wasnÂ’t she afraid of dying. She would reply: There're 2 reasons: one is I was a heavy smoker for many years and become suicidal. With the help of AA, I quitted smoking and my therapist interpreted that I have no fear of death due to my experience of depression. The second reason is once when I was feeling hopeless, Rinpoche raised his hand and gave a big slap on my back and said: You'll be alright. Since then I have no fear of death. Then she laughed and added: "I don't recommend the first method, but I would highly recommend the second"
Ann lived alone but she loved animals and always had cats and dogs with her in her small house. Even when she was seriously ill, she would still keep a dog and a cat with her and would attended to their daily needs. "When I took my Bodhisavtta vows, I had promised to take care of animals so I must fulfill this promise" She said.
Rinpoche made 2 special trips to Lake Forest just to see Ann. These visits were the highlight of her 6 years house-bound experiences.
I also visited Ann twice at her home in Lake Forest in Chicago.
Ann never complained about her pain and discomfort. She would talk about her death casually and had everything all prepared for her own passing. She remained active, stayed current by reading the most recent publications, magazines and books.
In June 2005, Rinpoche was doing a personal retreat at SSRC. One day, all of a sudden, he asked me: “ How is Ann Hentz?” I couldn’t reply because I hadn’t talked to her for a few months. When I called Ann the next day, she told me she just came out of the hospital. She told me that she almost died but her doctor had saved her life.
I decided that I must make another visit to see Ann. When I visited her in August, 2006, I found Ann to be calm, clear and her mind is alert and sharp. I was amazed.
Around 2001, Ann's Dharma friend Suyin Lee had some troubles with her eye sight. Ann decided to start a project to record selected books and teachings with her own voice for the benefit of those who have problems with their vision. Through the years, she had made numerous recording of Sutras, Dharma texts and teachings from Dharma books.
When I visited her in August 2006, I realized that this project had become the life force that kept her alive.
Ann took this project very seriously. Because she had breathing difficulties and talking would diminished her energy, she could only record 45 minutes without break once a day. On Mondays and Wednesdays of the week, she'll practice the teaching/text that she intended to record, taking a break in between so as to regain strength. Then on Friday, she would do the final recording. Ann was using her last breath to record these teachings and texts as her offering. Louise her most faithful friend would always be there to assist her with the recording.
Right before I left for Asia in late September 2006, Ann phoned me with great excitement. Rinpoche had sent her a message requesting Ann to record the book "Bodhichayavatara" and his new book, “What makes you not a Buddhist”. She fulfilled Rinpoche’s request very quickly and these CD were swiftly sent to Rinpoche.
On 1st of January 2007, I received an email from Ann's friend and was informed that Ann was admitted to the hospital on 26th of December 2006 and she 'slipped away' peacefully and painlessly on 31st of December, 2006. She was 85. Rinpoche was informed immediately. Rinpoche performed phowa in India for Ann as soon as he heard the news and prayers were recited for her in the monastery among 500 monks.
During Ann's memorial service in Lake Forest College in Feburary 2007, among a large gathering of facility and friends, in accordance with AnnÂ’s instructions to her friends, they play a dedication prayer recorded in Ann's own voice.
This is the Dedication Prayer:
Throughout my many lives and until this moment,
Whatever virtue I have accomplished
Including the merit generated by this practice,
And all that I will ever attain,
This I offer to the welfare of sentient beings.
May sickness, war, famine and suffering
Be decreased for every being,
While their wisdom and compassion increase
In this and every future lives
May I clearly perceive all experiences
To be as insubstantial
As the dream fabric of the night,
And instantly awaken to perceive
The pure wisdom display
In the arising of every phenomenon
May I quickly attain enlightenment
In order to work ceaselessly
For the liberation of all sentient beings
