How would you react to great disappointment
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I have an situation can share with everyone
I come back to an old workplace to work and is the potential candidate replacing a leaving female colleague
but the manager also not keen employing a male in this position
and might want to go to new hire
what would I do if such thing happen?My hope will be dashed of getting better pay for the family and it seems eminent .....
kind of feel sad ,but I cant quit the job as I havent clocked enuff years in the company
how do i faced it and move forward ??
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Honestly, I am bad at counselling.Originally posted by bohiruci:I have an situation can share with everyone
I come back to an old workplace to work and is the potential candidate replacing a leaving female colleague
but the manager also not keen employing a male in this position
and might want to go to new hire
what would I do if such thing happen?My hope will be dashed of getting better pay for the family and it seems eminent .....
kind of feel sad ,but I cant quit the job as I havent clocked enuff years in the company
how do i faced it and move forward ??
But I think since this is an inevitable situation then you should just accept it as it is, focus more on your work, go with the flow, the causes and conditions.
As my Taiwanese teacher said, "Gen yin yuan dui kang de ren shi zui ben de" (Those who react against causes and conditions are the most foolish)
Or as Byron Katie said, "When I argue with reality I lose - but only 100% of the time."
Reality is just what it is, and it is only our thoughts giving meaning and interpretations and reactions to them. Don't react to your mental stories, if they arise, don't pay attention to the content of the thoughts, the thought will subside on its own. Then the ideas of gain or loss wouldn't hold.
Since you practise chanting, I think doing more chanting will help to calm yourself.
Just my 2 cents -
Maybe you can try to convince your manager to let you try the position for 3 months before he goes on a new hire? If you can prove yourself to be a good candidate, he may let you fill in the position on a permanent basis.Originally posted by bohiruci:I have an situation can share with everyone
I come back to an old workplace to work and is the potential candidate replacing a leaving female colleague
but the manager also not keen employing a male in this position
and might want to go to new hire
what would I do if such thing happen?My hope will be dashed of getting better pay for the family and it seems eminent .....
kind of feel sad ,but I cant quit the job as I havent clocked enuff years in the company
how do i faced it and move forward ??
In any event, there is not supposed to be any gender discrimination in hiring practices... but may I know what is the position you are vying for and what is your education/ specialisation background? -
Every situation is "empty"Originally posted by bohiruci:I have an situation can share with everyone
You are "attached" to a certain view. You are assuming that your view is "right" "correct" and "the best" view point.Originally posted by bohiruci:I come back to an old workplace to work and is the potential candidate replacing a leaving female colleague
but the manager also not keen employing a male in this position
and might want to go to new hire
what would I do if such thing happen?My hope will be dashed of getting better pay for the family and it seems eminent .....
kind of feel sad ,but I cant quit the job as I havent clocked enuff years in the company
how do i faced it and move forward ??
This is why you are "miserable". Meditate and "see" the reality of the situation. Meditate all the possibilities, all the what ifs...
What if you get the position and you are not happy?
What if you get the new position and you are very happy?
What if you get the new position and you are so happy with it?
What if you get the position and you fall sick?
What if you get the position and the company goes into a crisis?
What if you get the position and the company becomes very successful?
What if you get the position and Singapore goes into a crisis?
Meditate all the possibilities, all the what ifs... you will be able to imagine all the possibilities better than me because you are in the situation...
Then after you "see" all the possibilities... write them down and meditate on how you will react to all the what ifs.... and all the possibilities of how you can react to all the possible what ifs...
If you are willing to do that, you will soon free your mind... the result will surprise you... it is not what you think... -
Hmm.. I have a few questions in mind, which you may feel it's too direct.Originally posted by bohiruci:I have an situation can share with everyone
I come back to an old workplace to work and is the potential candidate replacing a leaving female colleague
but the manager also not keen employing a male in this position
and might want to go to new hire
what would I do if such thing happen?My hope will be dashed of getting better pay for the family and it seems eminent .....
kind of feel sad ,but I cant quit the job as I havent clocked enuff years in the company
how do i faced it and move forward ??
1) Were you informed by your manager before you rejoined the company, that you are going to replace the female colleague?
2) How do you know you are the potential candidate for this positiion?
3) Have you spoken to your manager about your career path and career development?
4) Has your manager personally told you that he wanted a female rather than male for this position? -
1) I was informed to take over my female colleague job ,but my dept is an isolated one ,so my superior have no way to influence management decisionOriginally posted by path_seeker:Hmm.. I have a few questions in mind, which you may feel it's too direct.
1) Were you informed by your manager before you rejoined the company, that you are going to replace the female colleague?
2) How do you know you are the potential candidate for this positiion?
3) Have you spoken to your manager about your career path and career development?
4) Has your manager personally told you that he wanted a female rather than male for this position?
2)becos I work in the same company for 1 full year in the past
3)I find the manager is not keen on giving false projection and I tied down with work
4)no ...
Well , the outcome is pending ... If they seriously want a new hire ,I think its kind of unfair to people who already work 2 years and not given a chance in the same dept . -
[Path_Seeker] In the eyes of the management, sometimes it's best to source externally for the best candidate who could bring fresh ideas in. Look on the bright side, you are able to learn new stuff from this new person doing this role, and that will help you alot in your career progression. Do try to upgrade yourself if you could, as simple as going to the library or surfing the net and on the latest technology and knowledge.Originally posted by bohiruci:I assume that the female colleague of yours is of a higher position and do correct me if I'm wrong.
1) I was informed to take over my female colleague job ,but my dept is an isolated one ,so my superior have no way to influence management decision
[Path_Seeker] So that means that you were ask to cover for your female colleague, but was never told that you are going to be in that position?
2)becos I work in the same company for 1 full year in the past
[Path_Seeker] How long have you been doing that partiular job function? Have you got any significant achievements? Seniority is not equivalent to capability and suitability.
3)I find the manager is not keen on giving false projection and I tied down with work
[Path_Seeker] If you have not spoken to your manager about your career progression and career path, how do you know you are the potential candidate to take over that female colleague?
4)no ...
Well , the outcome is pending ... If they seriously want a new hire ,I think its kind of unfair to people who already work 2 years and not given a chance in the same dept .
From what you've shared, I have to agree with that Andrew has mentioned, that it's only your perception that you are the intended person for this job. What you could do is to carry on, but learn as much as you can, and to improve your skills and job performance.
You may find my comments too idealistics, but it's only my two cents worth of thought. -
Most people when find themselves in a difficult situation, would naturally start to think of all possible negative outcomes which may or may not come true. As one grows older in life, there are bound to be more such harsh situations. Here is when the Dharma comes into play; it helps us to face reality, see it clearly, take it on, let it go and move on. Easily said than done? No. Unless we are pessimistic or see Reality as our enemy.
So, if we are the types that the mind tends to take a life of its own and run wild with negatives thoughts( which is not uncommon, that is why most of us must practice harder
), my DIY solution is to prepare ourselves mentally and physically with the worst scenerio that may come in the situation we are in now, then when it finally come, we are all ready and will be in a better position to shoulder the outcome or even better still, solve it. Once the preparation and decision are made, leave it aside and give the best we can offer in our job or study and carry on as usual with our life, meaningfully ( by doing more good deeds or study and practise the Dharma, yeah, chanting also).
If we see life as unfair to us whenever a undesirable ( as we percieved to be) outcome hit us, then we have forgotten the law of cause and effect. It is exactly the law of cause and effect that we encountered situations in life, and it is through the law of cause and effect that we can change the situation and/or take it on bravely. My 0.002 cents. -
agree ... i heard my female colleague who left hinted there is a new hireOriginally posted by path_seeker:[Path_Seeker] In the eyes of the management, sometimes it's best to source externally for the best candidate who could bring fresh ideas in. Look on the bright side, you are able to learn new stuff from this new person doing this role, and that will help you alot in your career progression. Do try to upgrade yourself if you could, as simple as going to the library or surfing the net and on the latest technology and knowledge.
From what you've shared, I have to agree with that Andrew has mentioned, that it's only your perception that you are the intended person for this job. What you could do is to carry on, but learn as much as you can, and to improve your skills and job performance.
You may find my comments too idealistics, but it's only my two cents worth of thought.
I going to see what kind of decision the HR will made
thanks ... ya I constantly looking at the backup option should they want to terminate me (for no special reason , or for more cheaper outsourcing )
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Well lets go to the worst case scenario , so worst at the worst you just have to look for another new job and carry on . I personally frankly speaking not afraid you pple laffing at me had been sacked , told to resign , forced to resign , injured so have to resign to recuperate , kana sickness so have to resign to recuperate etc and now is still looking for a better and sincerely wish that will be a permanent job to end my job hopping . Most of the time pple just shoot at me say must be my fault but i myself know some of them i admit but the most not my fault at all . Even though i now have to pop pills everyday to prevent my sickness from recurring still i can't put it in my resume nor admit i got sickness . So my friend no matter how bad our situation is , we die die have to carry on with our life . No matter how bad our resume seem to be . I myself work in more then 8 companies on and off but in my resume i only put 3 . Not that i encourage pple to lie but this is real life we have to be practical to save ourself .
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If you seriously want to look for a career elsewhere, TODAY is the day!. Go get a copy of the Straits time and start to apply for the positions there. Do also sign up with Jobstreet.com, Jobdb.com, and all the online job porta, that'll increases your chances of securing a more rewarding career.Originally posted by bohiruci:agree ... i heard my female colleague who left hinted there is a new hire
I going to see what kind of decision the HR will made
thanks ... ya I constantly looking at the backup option should they want to terminate me (for no special reason , or for more cheaper outsourcing ) -
If you are currently facing some financial difficulties, I do not think that it is advisable to job hopped for the time being.Originally posted by bohiruci:I have an situation can share with everyone
I come back to an old workplace to work and is the potential candidate replacing a leaving female colleague
but the manager also not keen employing a male in this position
and might want to go to new hire
what would I do if such thing happen?My hope will be dashed of getting better pay for the family and it seems eminent .....
kind of feel sad ,but I cant quit the job as I havent clocked enuff years in the company
how do i faced it and move forward ??
Have a stable base frist and see whether it is viable to work out something at night or make use of your Sat and Sun for additional income. I did that during financial crisis.
Very often when we are in a state of crisis, we tend to place a lot of hopes on potential events that may help ease our miserable state. Those hopes obscure our clear thinking and immobilize our actions. However if you busy urself in the actual activities of solving the problem, you worry less.
Be strong and hope you overcome ur difficulties soonest. -
No harm trying.
Actively speak with your manager about your interest in succeeding the leaving colleague. Create the causes and conditions that will lead to career development. -
Originally posted by coolbluewater:
ey, not nice bah
If you seriously want to look for a career elsewhere, [b]TODAY is the day!. Go get a copy of the Straits time and start to apply for the positions there. Do also sign up with Jobstreet.com, Jobdb.com, and all the online job porta, that'll increases your chances of securing a more rewarding career.[/b]
I have a record of switching 5 jobs liao .. I guess i just work hard first and do more beneficial practice for other sentient beings first