how to get rid of lust
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Then you're still quite a distance from whatever you were saying that you hope you could achieve... But if you can be contented just with what you can get and not what you must get, then you'll probably score better...?Originally posted by goldevil:that was my father put .
that time i dunno what to put for my siggy so he put that .
I deemed money to be something necessary to survive in sg also as homebound buddhists .
because we are home bound buddhist who learned abt buddhist after we have ur first dharma lesson by a teacher , we also practise buddhism at home instead of monastary .
different buddhists book say different things , kind of confusing .
any dharma teachers to recommend ?
moderators pls help .
our first dharma teacher does nt reside in singapore .
but he was so kind to give us an introduction abt buddhism .
he reside in ROC taiwan .
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go thailand be a monk
steady one
=D -
Please go remove your brains then.Originally posted by goldevil:but if we do not overcome lust , we might get reborn and reborn again until enlightenment is reached . -
sorry guys , think i am too paranoid .........
it was because i dun have such thoughts before .
I have my first thoughts at 21 -
Just find something to do lah.If your hair is too long, go to cut your hair.Once you have your hair cut, you will be able to get rid of lust temporary.And also to study religious texts, then you will get rid of lust temporary.
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I can suggest following methods that work at least on me.Originally posted by goldevil:lust is so hard to get rid of .
I have been fighting lusty thoughts .
sometimes when I have this thoughts , I will restrain them .
I will think of other positive things and the lusty thoughts will go away .
how to go up to the next level ?
free from such thoughts .
I think I am badly affected by japanese manga and anime that i stopped reading them .
You can imagine the scene of the pretty girl (assuming you are guy) breaking into small pieces like bone, skin, fat, fingers and so on. Then now you look at it again, which part of it actually attract your lust. -
to get rid of lust, dont watch Lee Ang's Lust, Caution
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Since u felt that it was the the Japanese manga u chose to read that " polluted" ur mind, then I think at least u know what is the cause and can take action now to reduce ur vexations - stop reading them.
This is the first step. If u can't even do this then the below two steps do not apply.
The 2nd step is to occupy ur time by reading other "clean" materials, which in this sense I presume are materials entirely different fr ur "polluted" manga, and concentrate on ur job or studies with a specific goal or target; or do healhty team sports eg basket ball, soccer, etc, or better still, like what Yamizi mentioned, volunteer your time n resources to good causes. U sld also socialise with more ppl to prevent urself fr being a Ottaku- reclusive due to adnormal obession with a hobby.
The 3rd step sld come naturally if u hv taken the above 2 steps, ie to live life as "normal" as it is. Fufill ur duty in the society, be it a student, a worker, a son, a brother, a husband, etc. ( don't really understd by what u mean to be a home-bound Buddhist...A Buddhist is a Buddhist. A Buddhist move becos he understd why, not by force or follow precepts blindly. If one, regardless of being a Buddhist or not, restrict oneself due to fear , then once this fear is removed, one may to the other extreme, go wild, real wild.
)
Then one day u may find urself like what Andrew Yap mentioned, to be able to look at things, and see nothing.
Ganbatte!
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I have thrown those manga away .Originally posted by cycle:Since u felt that it was the the Japanese manga u chose to read that " polluted" ur mind, then I think at least u know what is the cause and can take action now to reduce ur vexations - stop reading them.
This is the first step. If u can't even do this then the below two steps do not apply.
The 2nd step is to occupy ur time by reading other "clean" materials, which in this sense I presume are materials entirely different fr ur "polluted" manga, and concentrate on ur job or studies with a specific goal or target; or do healhty team sports eg basket ball, soccer, etc, or better still, like what Yamizi mentioned, volunteer your time n resources to good causes. U sld also socialise with more ppl to prevent urself fr being a Ottaku- reclusive due to adnormal obession with a hobby.
The 3rd step sld come naturally if u hv taken the above 2 steps, ie to live life as "normal" as it is. Fufill ur duty in the society, be it a student, a worker, a son, a brother, a husband, etc. ( don't really understd by what u mean to be a home-bound Buddhist...A Buddhist is a Buddhist. A Buddhist move becos he understd why, not by force or follow precepts blindly. If one, regardless of being a Buddhist or not, restrict oneself due to fear , then once this fear is removed, one may to the other extreme, go wild, real wild. )
Then one day u may find urself like what Andrew Yap mentioned, to be able to look at things, and see nothing.
Ganbatte! -
buddhist is a buddhist .
I agree .
homebound buddhist r those who believes in buddhism but practise it at home .
ma chants scriptures , adopt a vegetarian lifestyle .
she died peacefully in her sleep .
her body was soft like cake .
but most homebound buddhists fail . -
It's not that difficult, isn't it? Omedetou.Originally posted by goldevil:I have thrown those manga away . -
it's nt hard to throw this book away .Originally posted by cycle:It's not that difficult, isn't it? Omedetou.
but the books seem to left some imprints on my mind . -
I guess u r making progress as long as u hv identify the possible root- those manga; n hv taken action- to discard them. U already realised the thoughts of lust arising, which is alright if u can see how it comes about and then press the thoughts down.Originally posted by goldevil:it's nt hard to throw this book away .
but the books seem to left some imprints on my mind .
The imprints r still fresh in ur mind cos actually u r the one who wants to recall them as maybe they excite u. How not to get excited( so the thought won't even arise in the first place) is the difficult part for most people. So that's why u may try the other 2 steps I suggested? It takes time and diligence but these thoughts will subsides gradually.
Ganbatte! -
thanks to all ur kind help !!!
this is really a helpful forum . -
Yes, if you are affected by japanese manga and anime that has sexual contents then you should avoid them.Originally posted by goldevil:lust is so hard to get rid of .
I have been fighting lusty thoughts .
sometimes when I have this thoughts , I will restrain them .
I will think of other positive things and the lusty thoughts will go away .
how to go up to the next level ?
free from such thoughts .
I think I am badly affected by japanese manga and anime that i stopped reading them .
You may also want to refer to a previous thread on lust which I replied thus:
How do i overcome 'lust' thoughts?:
How come are you having these lustful thoughts? You should do some inquiry... That's what my taiwanese dharma teacher did to someone who asked him about how to deal with lust.. find out what is the source of these matters. Do you watch sexually suggestive women on the net..? Do you have posters of pretty ladies all over your room? And many other possible factors....Originally posted by suikoden:Its hard to overcome for a ordinary man. Whenever i had such thoughts i would try to change my attention to some other subject. How do one avoid these sinful thinking?
One suggestion he gave was to tear down all the pictures of the skimpily dressed ladies in your room, and replace them with all the pictures of Buddhas and Bodhisattvas... my teacher said, confirm you won't get excited! Cos they're all so holy and 'zhuang1 yan2' everywhere you look.. hehe..
Here's also some suggestions from my Master's book:Originally posted by An Eternal Now:The Buddha taught some solutions:
(Book Source: Fa Yu Bing Fen 2nd Series by Ven. Shen Kai)
Therefore to summarise, there is 1) To change perception of females as 'mothers' or 'sisters', 2) To contemplate the impurities and impermanence of the body from head to toe 3) To guard and close our six sense doors, do not give rise to attachment to appearances and discriminative mind/consciousness (which is why mindful awareness is very important)
Other than these, there are some other ways in Buddhism but the above are some of the most commonly mentioned.
You can read Chinese right? Don't understand can ask, I can explainOriginally posted by An Eternal Now:Very sorry for taking so long to post. Here is a summary.
The Chinese text was talking about the king who is concerned with the progress of youngsters and the distraction of sexual lust on the youth's academic and work perfomance. He requested the give instructions on how to be free from sexual lust.
The Buddha gave 3 suggestions:
1) The female that is more elder in age should be looked upon as one's Mother or aunt. For the female that is younger in age one should look upon her as one's own sister and for one that is very young in age, one should look upon her as one's.. uh, (sorry I don't know what's that someone can tell me 
). In this way, one's mind will be in stillness, and ones three poisons, Greed, Hatred and Ignorance will be transformed and dissolved by one's Wisdom naturally.
2) One should review this very frame of body upwards from the soles of the
feet, & downwards from the tips of the hairs, enclosed in skin, as
full of many kinds of impurities: There are in this body head-hairs,
body-hairs, nails, teeth, skin, flesh, sinews, bones, bone-marrow,
kidneys, heart, liver, pleura, spleen, lungs, intestines, mesentery,
vomit in the stomach, excrement, bile, lymph, pus, blood, sweat, fat,
tears, mucus, saliva, snot, fluid of the joints, urine and the various impurities, this way one can be freed from sexual lust and the mind will naturally be still.
3) One should guard one's six sense doors: Eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body, mind.. if one's eyes sees sights, one should not grasp on the appearances, do not give rise to discriminative mind and naturally our attachment will be dissolved. After one guards his eye-sense faculty one should then guard the other senses (ears, nose, tongue, body and mind), do not give rise to discriminative mind and naturally craving will not arise. -
Bad logic...Originally posted by gigabyte14:keep thinking about it, then you'll get sick of it
cos if you tell yourself not to think about it, it'll come back
sooooooo............. -
This is not true. Sitting meditation is helpful but is not the only practise or dharma door. But to develope strong and stable samadhi and also wisdom it is quite important. And even meditation has many kinds, so it depends.Originally posted by Troll Warrior:ur not buddhist if u dont meditate -
BTW at a higher level, since you requested someone to write something on how to go to the next level and be completely free from such thoughts...Originally posted by goldevil:lust is so hard to get rid of .
I have been fighting lusty thoughts .
sometimes when I have this thoughts , I will restrain them .
I will think of other positive things and the lusty thoughts will go away .
how to go up to the next level ?
free from such thoughts .
I think I am badly affected by japanese manga and anime that i stopped reading them .
This is actually very simple. It is actually quite effortless as long as you maintain an awareness that constantly lets go -- all phenomena simply self-liberates (which means the thought and experience liberates by itself because it is impermanent!), nothing stays... nothing leaves a trace. As my taiwanese teacher said... don't resist or reject thoughts, the more you try to find ways to suppress your thoughts or reject them the worse it becomes.. instead don't even treat your thoughts as if they are events happening (it is as if nothing has happened). Not even thoughts of sexual lust.. Perhaps that is why AndrewPKYap said "The more you try to get rid of lust, the more you affirm its existence when the reality is that lust does not exist."
So there is no need to condemn your thoughts or resist them, if you know how to practise this. It is much more direct. However if you have difficulty practising this, you may try the methods I have posted above in the previous post.
Please read http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/thai/kee/inward.html -- the part on Aware Right at Awareness, November 3, 1975 by Upasika Kee Nanayon.
And as for the PM you sent me, please read this article written by my local dharma teacher, hope it helps Constantly mindful, constantly letting go of the 3 minds and the 4 forms...
([1] The Three Minds: (i) the past is gone and cannot be grasped. (ii) After this moment, the present becomes past and also cannot be grasped. (iii) The future is not here yet and therefore cannot be grasped too.
[2] The four forms: Form - Characteristics; (i) Everybody has an ego, this is the ego- form. (ii) When we see another person, we perceive the human-form. (iii) When thoughts arise in our mind, we perceive the sentient being-form. (iv) The continuity of these thoughts through time gives rise to the time-form.)
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it appears than among many expired topics , there are many ppl facing similar situations .
lust is indeed a common problem same as gossip among women .
any ideas how to stop gossip , my grandma can talk non stop for hours .
i mean they talked bad abt ppl but when when ppl talked bad abt her , she angry .
i think gossip mongers r selfish .
so old still want gossip ...... -
Goldevil, you are right. We shouldn't gossip so that we can get rid of false ego. In order to achieve that, we should suffer been criticised and accept it without false ego.
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Hey, same here. I think I will be seeking help soon for sexual addiction, not joking okay.Originally posted by goldevil:lust is so hard to get rid of .
I have been fighting lusty thoughts .
sometimes when I have this thoughts , I will restrain them .
I will think of other positive things and the lusty thoughts will go away .
how to go up to the next level ?
free from such thoughts .
I think I am badly affected by japanese manga and anime that i stopped reading them .
Super difficult to fight. The general advice from most Sangha members would be to physically stay away, in good haste, when you find yourself in situations which are obvious in sexual intent and/or might lead you to commit sexual misconduct.
I generally try to avoid romantic dramas and sexually suggestive reading or viewing materials. However, I find myself going back to them out of the need for excitement or to satisfy my curiosity about the three letter word.
Hope one day all will be able to keep to the precept of 'avoid all sexual misconduct' as taught by Buddha.
May the teachings of the Buddha be our eternal guide and the pure spiritual energy of empowerment in his vows be a source of guiding and cleansing energy transmitted into the depths of our consciousness.
Amituofo. (How I wish this forum can allow the proper typing and viewing of Chinese characters) -
There's no way that you can get rid of lust in all totality unless you remove your brains or have illness or injury concerning the sexual portion of your brain.
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It is possible, as Thusness told me days ago through the realisation of non-duality and the stabilisation of the realisation especially after the mirror bright sensation through impersonality one is able to overcome sexual desires. This is also being experienced by Longchen who recently wrote about it along with other karmic imprints like fear and anger.Originally posted by Herzog_Zwei:There's no way that you can get rid of lust in all totality unless you remove your brains or have illness or injury concerning the sexual portion of your brain.
Also, according to Buddhism those who reach Anagami and above will be able to overcome it.Originally posted by Thusness:Yes it is not easy but it isn't really about our own chemicals in the body that is dififcult. It is the willingness to take steps and put in effort into practice. Both AEN and Xprobe gave good advices and IMO it will work. However it will take many years of practice before you see results. -
Don't imagine that you are a good person just because you get rid of lust...