Am i wrong to do this?
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COMPLAINING AND RESENTMENT
Complaining is one of the ego's favorite strategies for strengthening itself. Every complaint is a little story the mind makes up that you completely believe in. Whether you complain aloud or only in thought makes no difference. Some egos that perhaps don't have much else to identify with easily survive on complaining alone. When you are in the grip of such an ego, complaining, especially about other people, is habitual and, of course, unconscious, which means you don't know what you are doing. Applying negative mental labels to people, either to their face or more commonly when you speak about them to others or even just think about them, is often part of the pattern. Name-calling is the crudest form of such labeling and of the ego's need to be right and triumph over others: "jerk, bastard, bitch"-all definitive pronouncements that you can't argue with. On the next level down on the scale of unconsciousness, you have shouting and screaming, and not much below that, physical violence.
Resentment is the emotion that goes with complaining and the mental labeling with people and adds even more energy to the ego. Resentment means to feel bitter, indignant, aggrieved, or offended. You resent other people's greed, their dishonesty, their lack of integrity, what they are doing, what they did in the past, what they said, what they failed to do, what they should or shouldn't have done. The ego loves it. Instead of overlooking unconsciousness in others, you make it into their identity. Who is doing that? The unconsciousness in you, the ego. Sometimes the "fault" that you perceive in another isn't even there. It is a total misinterpretation, a projection by a mind conditioned to see enemies and to make itself right or superior. At other times, the fault may be there, but by focusing on it, sometimes to the exclusion of everything else, you amplify it. And what you react to in another, you strengthen in yourself.
Nonreaction to the ego in others is one of the most effective ways not only of going beyond ego in yourself but also of dissolving the collective human ego. But you can only be in a state of nonreaction if you can recognize someone's behavior as coming from the ego, as being an expression of the collective human dysfunction. When you realize it's not personal, there is no longer a compulsion to react as if it were. By not reacting to the ego, you will often be able to bring out the sanity in others, which is the unconditioned consciousness as opposed to the conditioned. At times you may have to take practical steps to protect yourself from deeply unconscious people. This you can do without making them into enemies. Your greatest protection, however, is being conscious. Somebody becomes an enemy if you personalize the unconsciousness that is the ego. Nonreaction is not weakness but strength. Another word for nonreaction is forgiveness. To forgive is to overlook, or rather to look through. You look through the ego to the sanity that is in every human being as his or her essence.
The ego loves to complain and feel resentful not only about other people but also about situations. What you can do to a person, you can also do to a situation: make it into an enemy. The implication is always: This should not be happening; I don't want to be here; I don't want to be doing this; I'm being treated unfairly. And the ego's greatest enemy of all is, of course, the present moment, which is to say, life itself.
Complaining is not to be confused with informing someone of a mistake or deficiency so that it can be put to right. And to refrain from complaining doesn't necessarily mean putting up with bad quality or behavior. There is no ego in telling the waiter that your soup is cold and needs to be heated up---if you stick to the facts, which are always neutral. "How dare you serve me cold soup..........." That's complaining. There is a "me" here that loves to feel personally offended by the cold soup and is going to make the most of it, a "me" that enjoys making someone wrong. The complaining we are talking about is in service to the ego, not of change.
See if you can catch, that is to say, notice, the voice in the head, perhaps in the very moment it complains about something, and recognize it for what it is: the voice of the ego, no more than a conditioned mind-pattern, thought. Whenever you notice that voice, you will also realize that you are not the voice, but the one who is aware of it. In fact, you are the awareness that is aware of the voice. In the background, there is the awareness. In the foreground, there is the voice, the thinker. In this way you are becoming free of the ego, free of the unobserved mind. The moment you become aware of the ego in you, it is strictly speaking no longer the ego, but just an old, conditioned mind-pattern. Ego implies unawareness. Awareness and ego cannot co-exist.The old mind-pattern or mental habit may still survive and reoccur for a while because it has the momentum of thousands of years of collective human unconsciousness behind it, but every time it is recognized, it is weakened.
(A New Earth) -
Regarding 'transcendental patience' or 'endurance of non endurance' please read the third post in Cultivating Awareness and a Non-moving mind, written by my dharma teacher in singapore.
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Originally posted by An Eternal Now:
Sometime we get frustrated for things not turning out the way you want it to be and this frustration of wanting is due to our ego.
[b]COMPLAINING AND RESENTMENT
Complaining is one of the ego's favorite strategies for strengthening itself. Every complaint is a little story the mind makes up that you completely believe in. Whether you complain aloud or only in thought makes no difference. Some egos that perhaps don't have much else to identify with easily survive on complaining alone. When you are in the grip of such an ego, complaining, especially about other people, is habitual and, of course, unconscious, which means you don't know what you are doing. Applying negative mental labels to people, either to their face or more commonly when you speak about them to others or even just think about them, is often part of the pattern. Name-calling is the crudest form of such labeling and of the ego's need to be right and triumph over others: "jerk, bastard, bitch"-all definitive pronouncements that you can't argue with. On the next level down on the scale of unconsciousness, you have shouting and screaming, and not much below that, physical violence.
Resentment is the emotion that goes with complaining and the mental labeling with people and adds even more energy to the ego. Resentment means to feel bitter, indignant, aggrieved, or offended. You resent other people's greed, their dishonesty, their lack of integrity, what they are doing, what they did in the past, what they said, what they failed to do, what they should or shouldn't have done. The ego loves it. Instead of overlooking unconsciousness in others, you make it into their identity. Who is doing that? The unconsciousness in you, the ego. Sometimes the "fault" that you perceive in another isn't even there. It is a total misinterpretation, a projection by a mind conditioned to see enemies and to make itself right or superior. At other times, the fault may be there, but by focusing on it, sometimes to the exclusion of everything else, you amplify it. And what you react to in another, you strengthen in yourself.
Nonreaction to the ego in others is one of the most effective ways not only of going beyond ego in yourself but also of dissolving the collective human ego. But you can only be in a state of nonreaction if you can recognize someone's behavior as coming from the ego, as being an expression of the collective human dysfunction. When you realize it's not personal, there is no longer a compulsion to react as if it were. By not reacting to the ego, you will often be able to bring out the sanity in others, which is the unconditioned consciousness as opposed to the conditioned. At times you may have to take practical steps to protect yourself from deeply unconscious people. This you can do without making them into enemies. Your greatest protection, however, is being conscious. Somebody becomes an enemy if you personalize the unconsciousness that is the ego. Nonreaction is not weakness but strength. Another word for nonreaction is forgiveness. To forgive is to overlook, or rather to look through. You look through the ego to the sanity that is in every human being as his or her essence.
The ego loves to complain and feel resentful not only about other people but also about situations. What you can do to a person, you can also do to a situation: make it into an enemy. The implication is always: This should not be happening; I don't want to be here; I don't want to be doing this; I'm being treated unfairly. And the ego's greatest enemy of all is, of course, the present moment, which is to say, life itself.
Complaining is not to be confused with informing someone of a mistake or deficiency so that it can be put to right. And to refrain from complaining doesn't necessarily mean putting up with bad quality or behavior. There is no ego in telling the waiter that your soup is cold and needs to be heated up---if you stick to the facts, which are always neutral. "How dare you serve me cold soup..........." That's complaining. There is a "me" here that loves to feel personally offended by the cold soup and is going to make the most of it, a "me" that enjoys making someone wrong. The complaining we are talking about is in service to the ego, not of change.
See if you can catch, that is to say, notice, the voice in the head, perhaps in the very moment it complains about something, and recognize it for what it is: the voice of the ego, no more than a conditioned mind-pattern, thought. Whenever you notice that voice, you will also realize that you are not the voice, but the one who is aware of it. In fact, you are the awareness that is aware of the voice. In the background, there is the awareness. In the foreground, there is the voice, the thinker. In this way you are becoming free of the ego, free of the unobserved mind. The moment you become aware of the ego in you, it is strictly speaking no longer the ego, but just an old, conditioned mind-pattern. Ego implies unawareness. Awareness and ego cannot co-exist.The old mind-pattern or mental habit may still survive and reoccur for a while because it has the momentum of thousands of years of collective human unconsciousness behind it, but every time it is recognized, it is weakened.
(A New Earth)[/b]
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Hey about this "magic phrase or situation or person" that can evoke certain emotion (for eg. anger) in ourselves? The habitual of reacting towards is faster than i know anger is coming. It comes at the same instant as the magic phrase appear... so how can i deal with this ?
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Actually can try Namo Guan Shi Yin Pusa... when your mind resonates with Guan Shi Yin Pu Sa's boundless compassion, anger will naturally subside. While you chant, let your mind be empty and aware...Originally posted by Isis:Hey about this "magic phrase or situation or person" that can evoke certain emotion (for eg. anger) in ourselves? The habitual of reacting towards is faster than i know anger is coming. It comes at the same instant as the magic phrase appear... so how can i deal with this ? -
Posted this three years ago when the forum just started:Originally posted by An Eternal Now:Actually can try Namo Guan Shi Yin Pusa... when your mind resonates with Guan Shi Yin Pu Sa's boundless compassion, anger will naturally subside. While you chant, let your mind be empty and aware...
quote:If anyone wants to hurt you and pushes you into a great fire-pit, if you contemplate the power of Avalokitesvara, the fire-pit will change into a pond. - Lotus Sutra
So, this is what the translation says. But my master explained that, the "great-fire-pit" refers to the fires of hatred and anger, while the pond, clear and pure, refers to our Buddhamind. This relates to a true story, or experience, back in Taiwan.
My master had once observed that one of his disciples will meet a tribulation in the coming days... He called him up, and advised him not to be moved away from the triple jems (buddha, dharma, sangha), CHANT Guan-Shir-Yin frequently, and never to be affected by any anger. Just next day, this disciple was working at the construction site (he is a construction worker). Then, he got into an argument with someone on who should use the machine first. Tension rosed, and finally they decided to "settle it" outside. Suddenly, this person remembered my master's words, and began to truly regrett his earlier harshness. He chanted Namo Guanshiryin Pusa, and became very peaceful and calm, and smiled happily. The other person then went there to "settle" the issue, but seeing that he was smiling, he walked away. He threw a vegetable knife he was hiding onto the table. On seeing this, the person (who chanted guanshiryin) was extremely shocked, and realised what could have happened if he had continued the conflict. He was without any weapons, how could he be able to survive, fighting him with a fist?
From this, we should chant, pay reverence, learn, and most importantly, Be Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva. We should learn to be compassionate in all situations, a Bodhisattva's compassion is selfless.
This is the testimonial to the "power of Avalokitesvara", of course, testimonials are really a lot, many people meeting disasters, car accidents, those that one definitely could not have survived, are saved miraculously by the Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva.
Those who suffers from bad temper and strong hatred can try chanting regularly.. perhaps, 108 times a day. Most importantly, when we chant, we must not let our mind wander, and focus on the chanting. In this way, chanting works best to remove our minds of sentient, samsaric thoughts.
We should all learn to be compassionate like Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva.
“The ultimate goal of teaching is that Emptiness whose essence is Compassion.” - Great Pandita Atisha -
In my ways, I was like the threadstarter too.Originally posted by cheskiz:I was waiting for my egg-thosai to be served, took out my wallet and paid the prata-man. All of sudden, a old man aged 50-70 with breath of ciggarette asked for a dollar from me. I decline it and was being some sort of cursed. Am i wrong to not give the dollar? It is not a huge sum, will definitely part it. Whats your say, is it right to give?
All of sudden i have a urge to get him down by calling the food-court management. But didnt do it, somehow or rather manage to curb it.
My question is: Is it wrong not to give? Why do i have those sudden feelings, it just come out without me thinking..So instinctive.
I am really troubled nowadays, on normal time, i care for living things and somehow able to admire the nature and wont kill a snail or will let the beetle which flew in my house go. However, some might call this devilish, i get heart up easily when i am humped by dog or my dog tugged the leash, i will whack his butt or do something nasty to him, i will even at time hit my mum but not at full strenght, somehow manage to curb it and only do it for sake of doing. I just cannot stop myself, my actions arrived before my mind. After doing it, i felt guilty and that feeling subside. I know its wrong most of the time.
I have been following this thread, and it have been an enlightening read.
I would like to raise 2 questions:
1) Should we give money to the old man, if we believe that he would squander it on cigarettes/beer or believe that he is trying to con us.
2) Taking the lives of living beings is bad. But what about killing mosquitoes? What if, if i dont kill them, they would bite me.
Recently, I got angry at someone. Right at that point of time, I realised I was angry. I realised I was coloured by perception because I know I immediately associate the problem with him. It was like me looking at myself from a third person viewpoint.
However, when I talked to him, everything just went out the window. I got angry and blamed him.
Looks like I have to improve on my cultivation of awareness.
Let us both jia you in becoming a better person, TS ! -
If that is the case and it looks like he does not have problems feeding himself, then perhaps it is not necessary (I feel) to give him money.Originally posted by Evangelion84:1) Should we give money to the old man, if we believe that he would squander it on cigarettes/beer or believe that he is trying to con us.
That is he has legs and hands, can walk properly, can work. Then there is no need to give.
But continue being mindful of our inner state at all times no matter what reaction they may give. -
Originally posted by Evangelion84:
No matter what reason you kill it for, there will still be negative karma.
[b]
2) Taking the lives of living beings is bad. But what about killing mosquitoes? What if, if i dont kill them, they would bite me.
Posted this two/three years ago:Hello, my master Ven. Shen Kai offered a solution to Ants and #^@$roaches. He also mentioned about mosquitoes (but I can't remember well for that one). I will summarise a few points below.
Ants - put some Mei2 You2 near their home, they dislike the Mei2 You2 and will definitely move away from their home to somewhere else. To give the ants a sense of direction where to go you may put some food nearby, and they will go and live there. But don't put the food too far as it may be difficult for them to travel that far distance.
#^@$roach - get some empty Wu3 Jia1 Pi2 Jiu3 (a type of Chinese traditional beer?). #^@$roaches love to have a beer and will all go inside. Then you can throw the cans into a dirty place i.e trash can and let them live in their paradise. I don't know about other beers, you all could experiment yourself.
Mosquitoes - I can remember only he mentioned two ways - burning that mosquito 'incense', or using some kind of electronic device that could make them sterilised and not be able to reproduce babies.
So we do not necessarily need to kill them to get rid of the pests. Wisdom will be of good use. -
Found this beautiful verse:Originally posted by An Eternal Now:The higher level of practice is when you see the thought and then right at the instance the thought self-liberates. Poof. There is nothing to endure, because our thoughts and reactions are seen through, are empty. Your mind is simply empty like vast space, whatever happens or whatever things that happen 'out there' just happens by itself and there is no 'you' that is affected, because you are just like vast space. Even if people want to throw things at you, or even if a thought arises, it will not land anywhere. Instantaneously gone. We can try to practice like that, if we can then such things will be very simple for us.
If folks argue and slander you, let them:
they are playing with fire, trying to burn the sky.
~ Shodoka: Song of Freedom