Originally posted by An Eternal Now:Although sexual desire, and in fact more fundamentally dualistic attraction and aversion is behind samsaric birth and seeking, in my opinion it is not solved by mere sexual abstainance.
It is a matter of developing wisdom and insight such that the fundamental root cause of ignorance is dissolved.
In the meanwhile, I do not see (healthy) sexual activities as being any major obstacle to practice, as long as one doesn't do it excessively or becomes obsessed.
Of course if you find sexual lust as a distraction in your practice then maybe taking a vow of complete abstainance can be helpful, depending on circumstances. Complete sexual abstainance is good if you are willing, but not a 'must'.
If sexual lust has become so habituated that thoughts of lust arise often or even in your practice or meditation, then it is best to do contemplate on the impurities of the body and enter samadhi from there.
I agree with you that mere sexual abstinence is not a panacea nor the only thing to do for samsaric liberation and that is not the intention of my post either. Sexual abstinence has to be realised, implemented and maintained based on wisdom and insight as mentioned by you.
I have never maintained that complete sexual abstinence is a must, but is something arrived at personally, deeply from the heart, after understanding what the scriptures, mass media and various real-life experiences show about the various realities of sexual desire.
And it is not easy for anyone to establish what is considered healthy sexual activity cos there can be excessive sex between man and wife as well. Obsession with sex is not easily discovered by self cos we tend to justify ourselves too quickly that this is normal and healthy frequency of sexual activity between man and wife or with casual sex partners.
That is why it is more common to hear of people seeking help for gambling or drug addiction and sharing their struggles with the public than that of sexual addicts.
In my humble opinion, sex is a physiological imperative, much like our bodies' need for food. We need food to keep ourselves nourished, but if we indulge too much we will become a glutton.
I enjoy physical intimacy with my wife, the physical aspect is a very good way of expressing our love and that also compliments our emotional/ spiritual love for each other. Of course, I do not indulge too much and sit in my office whole day fantasizing about sex.
Just as the Buddha took the "middle path" and eat "right" to maintain his physical health, I believe that a 'right' dose of sex with a committed spouse (i.e. no sexual misconduct) goes a long way to maintain the wellbeing of our mind and body, at least for us lay practitioners....
Originally posted by Beyond Religion:In my humble opinion, sex is a physiological imperative, much like our bodies' need for food. We need food to keep ourselves nourished, but if we indulge too much we will become a glutton.
I enjoy physical intimacy with my wife, the physical aspect is a very good way of expressing our love and that also compliments our emotional/ spiritual love for each other. Of course, I do not indulge too much and sit in my office whole day fantasizing about sex.
Just as the Buddha took the "middle path" and eat "right" to maintain his physical health, I believe that a 'right' dose of sex with a committed spouse (i.e. no sexual misconduct) goes a long way to maintain the wellbeing of our mind and body, at least for us lay practitioners....
The problem is what is the 'right' dose. The thing is unlike food, not having sex with your wife will not lead to illness, death or divorce unless you or she wants it to be an issue.