A question to ask
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Hi all, just a question to ask.
I'm sure at some point of time, we met obstacles at home, be it arguments/disagreement over monetary issues or just simply can't get along with each other. Maybe some of you may have a more severe situation at home.
So I'm just wondering if you could share you view, whether you see your family problems as an obstacle or an opportunity for you to practise whatever you've learnt from buddha's teaching. Maybe you can also share on how you handle the difficult situations?
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To my personal point of view,everthing is your teacher.What in this world is not your teacher?When situation appear,face it or solve it.To say is simple,i know.At lease a person with Dharma will face the problem with wisdom,like not seeking revenge or hatred,dont make big stupid mistake and later regret.
If you cant stay away from the enviroment,you stay and face it with a calm mind,and waited for a time you can leave the situation.The Buddha Dharma is first to free yourself.You cant do anything to help if they are really really unreasonable at times.Be compassion! They eat you if you are compasion with them.
You know what,sometimes you need to show the Demon face to them.Just to help&teach them,not harm them. Take care!
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I have another personal question to seek all dharma brothers's advise. I have a very close cousin who grew up together with me. He was married a few years ago and even have a sweet little daughter. On top of that, he was having a very successful career in one of the car dealer.
However, since last year, he has been encountering rough patches. His wife contracted a terminal disease and require his constant care, his daughter was on the other hand, suffered a bad fall in school and needs to go for long term physio. On top of that, his sales career also suffered badly as his counterpart began to undercut his deal, and causes him losing bulk of his regular customers.
Being one of his closest ally, I know his situation exactly been trying my best to help him financially or emotionally. Nevertheless in front of other relatives, whenever he sense him losing an argument, he'll always brings up his wife and daughter situation, and blaming the relative for not understanding his difficulty. So much so, everybody who wished to help him began to distance themselve from him.
Recently, his began to intensify his tactic. He began to change his approach to his old customers and tell them that he has a sick daughter and wife to take care, and they must support him. This really irks the customers who then was considering buying cars from him. To them, his professional knowledge of the product superceeds all of his family problem, which he should not, and never bring it to the face of the potential client. I've advised him not to do it and no prize for guessing what he told me :"I failed to understand his family problem"
Like others, I began to notice that he's using his situation to win arguments, fight for customers. Now his wife is a stage worse off and may pass away any moment. His daughter's physiotherapy is not doing any progress. I know he is having a bad time, but I've also noticed that he began to tell his customers that his wife is dying and they must buy cars from him so that he has the money to pay for his wife's and daughter's medical bill. Mind you, the cheapest range in his show room will cost $130K. He's also asking other relatives to buy car from him, despite knowing they are only earning like $1.5K a month on the average.
How can I best advise him from a buddhist perspective?
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Firstly, a person got to reflect and wake.Got to perceive what actually is going on in life.Life to many is just everyday going after money,the most important subject in life.
If he cannot do that,he need a friend or other people help.But i got to tell you,that person to help him wake up must really have a strong fate with him,so strong that he willing to listen.Or any way he will listen to your advice is you really can do something,is very realistic!Like you can make his wife recover,you able to let her daughter recover too and let him have his top car sales back,in this way he sure to listen to all your advice.He treat you like God.
I have experience advising those people who about to pass away.The first question is: Can i be cure? Will i be healthy again? If you cant answer no need to keep advicing,they are not interested.If they listen to you,that is they really desperate,time running out.Just have to believe in a God or Amitabha to save them.Just a white lie to console them.
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Originally posted by CleoPraya:
I have another personal question to seek all dharma brothers's advise. I have a very close cousin who grew up together with me. He was married a few years ago and even have a sweet little daughter. On top of that, he was having a very successful career in one of the car dealer.
However, since last year, he has been encountering rough patches. His wife contracted a terminal disease and require his constant care, his daughter was on the other hand, suffered a bad fall in school and needs to go for long term physio. On top of that, his sales career also suffered badly as his counterpart began to undercut his deal, and causes him losing bulk of his regular customers.
Being one of his closest ally, I know his situation exactly been trying my best to help him financially or emotionally. Nevertheless in front of other relatives, whenever he sense him losing an argument, he'll always brings up his wife and daughter situation, and blaming the relative for not understanding his difficulty. So much so, everybody who wished to help him began to distance themselve from him.
Recently, his began to intensify his tactic. He began to change his approach to his old customers and tell them that he has a sick daughter and wife to take care, and they must support him. This really irks the customers who then was considering buying cars from him. To them, his professional knowledge of the product superceeds all of his family problem, which he should not, and never bring it to the face of the potential client. I've advised him not to do it and no prize for guessing what he told me :"I failed to understand his family problem"
Like others, I began to notice that he's using his situation to win arguments, fight for customers. Now his wife is a stage worse off and may pass away any moment. His daughter's physiotherapy is not doing any progress. I know he is having a bad time, but I've also noticed that he began to tell his customers that his wife is dying and they must buy cars from him so that he has the money to pay for his wife's and daughter's medical bill. Mind you, the cheapest range in his show room will cost $130K. He's also asking other relatives to buy car from him, despite knowing they are only earning like $1.5K a month on the average.
How can I best advise him from a buddhist perspective?
hi cleopraya , I know its a tough time for him,maybe speak to him to show him that he have your support.
Profit and Gain are 2 of the 8 worldly condition to undermine our life
If he seriously cant find enough $ to take care of his wife , do a job which is more financial plan for others .
I feel that financial planning will help him ,though his wife may passes on ,but it gives him a better perspective of life
I wasnt better off now to be frank
me = bohiruci
but i feel whatever we say ,if the client dun wish to buy , no point forcing on , it will only resent .It better to move on in life to spend more time with wife and the children then to work and sow hatred in other people's mind
the problem we suffered presently is often a results of our past lives evil karmic action to harm others and we experience life downturn .
just tell him ,whatever the problem , let go of his resentment
chant to Padmasambhava for advice or Om mani padme hum to reflect all this adversity is part of the test for him to cross in order to a great realisations of worldly achievement or spiritually
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Hi cleopraya , didnt your cousin have bought a critical illness coverage insurance for his wife in the first place ?
I also buying one to prevent such trauma from happening in the near future .
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Perhaps you can show/reason logically him that his tactics are working against him and it had been proven in his sales record. In order to improve his sale record, he has to change his current sale tactics which obviously is not working for him now. Usually, when the person is so attached to his own view, he might not listen to you. You might have to improvise according to the situation. I think what you can do for him is to be there for him. Support him emotionally and financially if you can. He is going through a rough patch in life. As for your first posting, i agreed with Canihelpyou02, that everything in life can be a teacher to you etc. etc. It really depends on how you see it. You can take it as a positive light or negative light .. to learn to deal with the situation or to observe the things arise in you. (if you meditate) For example, if you are prone to anger. Read on books on dealing with anger management. Practice metta meditation. Chant Namo Guan Shi Yin Pusa to calm your mind down. Seek refuge in the triple Gems. It is always good to avoid the situation for the time being and deal with the matter with a clear and calm state of mind.
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Hi all brothers. Thanks for your kind advises.
I can fully comprehend his family situation, but he just can't force people around him to help him boost his sales just out of sympathy towards his wife and daughter. In actual fact, a few of my relatives, including myself and my father has already supported his sales buy, and it's one of those higher range like above $200K cars just to make sure his commission is sufficient to pay for his wife's medical bill. We weren't exactly satisfied with the aftersales services provided by him, but we didn't really complain anything to him, we just sort out the problems ourselves.
I know he is desperate to make ends meet, given that his wife's medical bill is mounting, I did told him to recite Guan Yin's name, but as a free thinker, he thinks I'm a total bonker to suggest this useless tactic.
Syncopation_music, I agree with you that he should let go his resentment, but I think it's hard for him to do it, because he seems very self pitying. He has been telling everybody about his family problems (ie. his colleagues, his friends, his bosses, sometimes, even taxi uncles). He's stuck in his own world of problems, and feels that he has the worst or worst family problem in the entire universe and whole world owes him his living. He don't have any medical insurance, because at that time he does not felt the need. If I'm not wrong, it's too late for him to buy for his wife and daughter.
Hi Canihelpyou02 and Isis, thanks for your advise. My father told me that I've helped him enough and he should be left alone to stand up by himself. I really don't know if I should do it because he is like my very close brother. It's really a hard decision.
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Originally posted by CleoPraya:
Hi all brothers. Thanks for your kind advises.
I can fully comprehend his family situation, but he just can't force people around him to help him boost his sales just out of sympathy towards his wife and daughter. In actual fact, a few of my relatives, including myself and my father has already supported his sales buy, and it's one of those higher range like above $200K cars just to make sure his commission is sufficient to pay for his wife's medical bill. We weren't exactly satisfied with the aftersales services provided by him, but we didn't really complain anything to him, we just sort out the problems ourselves.
I know he is desperate to make ends meet, given that his wife's medical bill is mounting, I did told him to recite Guan Yin's name, but as a free thinker, he thinks I'm a total bonker to suggest this useless tactic.
Syncopation_music, I agree with you that he should let go his resentment, but I think it's hard for him to do it, because he seems very self pitying. He has been telling everybody about his family problems (ie. his colleagues, his friends, his bosses, sometimes, even taxi uncles). He's stuck in his own world of problems, and feels that he has the worst or worst family problem in the entire universe and whole world owes him his living. He don't have any medical insurance, because at that time he does not felt the need. If I'm not wrong, it's too late for him to buy for his wife and daughter.
Hi Canihelpyou02 and Isis, thanks for your advise. My father told me that I've helped him enough and he should be left alone to stand up by himself. I really don't know if I should do it because he is like my very close brother. It's really a hard decision.
hi cleopraya ,I recommend you to ask him read a book
Lama Zopa Rinpoche :thought transformation
I have been reading it in my most darkest time in life
Lama Zopa have explain how we transformed our thoughts of resentment of our rough patch to wisdom ,
becos of resentment, our mind is blinded from the wisdom that is hidden in the tough times , we grow and beyond this level of hard times
Maybe i will share , I met this present employer basically of a chance when i recited sincerely , Om mani Padme Hum , there isnt any choices left for me in those tough time :)
initially i was still feel with resentment , but i reflected ,"how about those that injured and harmed by me in countless life , arent they more resentful than me ."
now when i do my morning chanting
i trasferrence merit to
1.the Buddhas of all direction
2.the 6 realms of existence
3.the woeful spirits that is creating obstacles to me
4.the friends and enemies i created in this lifetime
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Originally posted by CleoPraya:
Hi all brothers. Thanks for your kind advises.
I can fully comprehend his family situation, but he just can't force people around him to help him boost his sales just out of sympathy towards his wife and daughter. In actual fact, a few of my relatives, including myself and my father has already supported his sales buy, and it's one of those higher range like above $200K cars just to make sure his commission is sufficient to pay for his wife's medical bill. We weren't exactly satisfied with the aftersales services provided by him, but we didn't really complain anything to him, we just sort out the problems ourselves.
I know he is desperate to make ends meet, given that his wife's medical bill is mounting, I did told him to recite Guan Yin's name, but as a free thinker, he thinks I'm a total bonker to suggest this useless tactic.
Syncopation_music, I agree with you that he should let go his resentment, but I think it's hard for him to do it, because he seems very self pitying. He has been telling everybody about his family problems (ie. his colleagues, his friends, his bosses, sometimes, even taxi uncles). He's stuck in his own world of problems, and feels that he has the worst or worst family problem in the entire universe and whole world owes him his living. He don't have any medical insurance, because at that time he does not felt the need. If I'm not wrong, it's too late for him to buy for his wife and daughter.
Hi Canihelpyou02 and Isis, thanks for your advise. My father told me that I've helped him enough and he should be left alone to stand up by himself. I really don't know if I should do it because he is like my very close brother. It's really a hard decision.
Hi, I agree with you that public sympathy should not be used in such a manner by your close cousin; for most of us here would know it would only help him, at the most, a couple of months. He still needs to find a long-term solution.
I'm not wise and capable like most of the dharma brothers and sisters here. So I wish to say I have nothing to offer as a form of advice.
But I do wish to share something here:
1) Please refer him to interim or long-term financial help schemes and other relevant counselling services available at CDCs or family service centres. Call 1800-222-0000 (a one-stop public help service for referral to all kinds of help schemes and relevant social help organisations.
2) As a guy with some financial and emotional problems of my own, I can empathise with your cousin in how he thinks, feels and responds to his own problems in life. I'm not saying he's right; I'm just trying to see things from his point of view.
3) I feel happy for your cousin as he has a very caring and sincere cousin in you. How many of us here can say we treat our cousins like our close brothers, and not as a matter of lip service? I for one, don't even know how to care about others, much less really going to lengths to help others with their problems, to help them sort out their thoughts...
Please do not give up on him. If you do not know what to do to help him now on your own, find help or advice from professionals who can help you to help him.
In the meantime, may I suggest that you continue to do what you can for his wife and kids. It is another form of help to him. And it need not be entirely financial in nature, all the time.
Hope you can consider the above suggestions.
May your care and concern for him, together with your daily cultivation in compassion and wisdom under the Triple Gems, help him to stand up one day.
When he does, do let us know. At least I want to know how his family and him are getting on.
Take care, cleopraya. ^_^
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Originally posted by CleoPraya:
Hi all brothers. Thanks for your kind advises.
I can fully comprehend his family situation, but he just can't force people around him to help him boost his sales just out of sympathy towards his wife and daughter. In actual fact, a few of my relatives, including myself and my father has already supported his sales buy, and it's one of those higher range like above $200K cars just to make sure his commission is sufficient to pay for his wife's medical bill. We weren't exactly satisfied with the aftersales services provided by him, but we didn't really complain anything to him, we just sort out the problems ourselves.
I know he is desperate to make ends meet, given that his wife's medical bill is mounting, I did told him to recite Guan Yin's name, but as a free thinker, he thinks I'm a total bonker to suggest this useless tactic.
Syncopation_music, I agree with you that he should let go his resentment, but I think it's hard for him to do it, because he seems very self pitying. He has been telling everybody about his family problems (ie. his colleagues, his friends, his bosses, sometimes, even taxi uncles). He's stuck in his own world of problems, and feels that he has the worst or worst family problem in the entire universe and whole world owes him his living. He don't have any medical insurance, because at that time he does not felt the need. If I'm not wrong, it's too late for him to buy for his wife and daughter.
Hi Canihelpyou02 and Isis, thanks for your advise. My father told me that I've helped him enough and he should be left alone to stand up by himself. I really don't know if I should do it because he is like my very close brother. It's really a hard decision.
Hi Cleopraya,As my knowledge of Buddha's teachings is quite limited, I can only recommend some Buddhist DVDs (Chinese) that helped me through the rough patch of my life. Hopefully they can be helpful to your cousin as well.
The Four Teachings of Liao Fan
Yu Jing Yi Gong Yu Zao Shen
I have only the first DVD; if you are interested, just pm me. It's free, I got the DVD from my Buddhist aunt, who asked me to pass it to anyone who finds it useful.
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Hi, As a Buddhist, perhaps the least you can do is to dedicate merits for him when you have done any wholesome activities, for instance, giving Dana to Sangha, Temple, Printing of Dharma materials and Charity organisation.. in small amount can help too. You can also try chanting Namo Guan Shi Yin Pusa, Medicine Buddha Sutra for his family's behalf. If I'm not wrong, 1/5 or is it 1/3 ( I'm not actually clear of the fraction of merits allocated but there is a cap ) of the merits could be given to him. http://www.yongey.org/common/0918_dedication/Dedication__Final_.pdf
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Originally posted by Isis:
Hi,
As a Buddhist, perhaps the least you can do is to dedicate merits for him when you have done any wholesome activities, for instance, giving Dana to Sangha, Temple, Printing of Dharma materials and Charity organisation.. in small amount can help too. You can also try chanting Namo Guan Shi Yin Pusa, Medicine Buddha Sutra for his family’s behalf. If I’m not wrong, 1/5 or is it 1/3 ( I’m not actually clear of the fraction of merits allocated but there is a cap ) of the merits could be given to him.
It's one seventh (1/7) as recorded in the sutra of Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva.
I agree with you the above suggested is one of the least we could do for the TS's cousin.
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Hi cleopraya, you and your family are very kind folks, your cousin is fortunate to have all of you as his relatives.
I agree with you that it may be difficult to help him due to his self-pity character. But he is really in a harsh situation right now which unfortunately he couldn't manage by himself. His sufferings are genuine, and he seems to aggravate his sufferings further. But yes, there is only so much you all can do; so by understanding his character and conditions, we will be tolerant towards his behaviour. This you have shown great compassion towards him.
The advises given by everyone here are rather useful in the spiritual sense as well as in practical aspects. Just do what you think is right and good for him. Every other things or matter will become secondary. This may help you to see a solution, no matter how insigificant you think it is. All the best to you.
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Happen to come by it and share...
Transforming Adverse conditions.. When things are going well, and people are kind and treating us with respect, it is not so difficult to wish for them to be happy. However, if our love for others diminishes as soon as they cause us problems or failt to appreciate us, this indicated that our love is not pure. For as long as our good feelings for others are conditional upon their treating us well, our love will be weak and unstable and we shall not be able to transform it into universal love. It is inevitanle that people will sometimes respond to our kindness in ungrateful and negative ways, and so it is essentail that we find a way of transforming this experience into the spiritual path. Whenever anyone harms, instead of getting angry, we should try to see that person as a Spiritual teacher and generate a mind of gratitiude towards him or her. There are various lines of reasoning we can use to develop this special recognition. We can think: " The only reason people harm me is because i have created the cause for them to do so through my previous negative actions. These people are teaching me about the law of karma. By deceiving me and replaying my help with harm they are reminding me that in the past that i have deceived and harm others. They are betraying me only because i betrayed and harmed them or others in previous lives. They are encouraging me to purify my negative karma and to refrain from harmful actions in the future. How kind they are! They must be my spiritual guide, emanated by Buddha. " By thinking in this way we transform a situation that would normally give rise to anger or self-pity into a powerful lesson in the need for purification and moral discipline. We can also think: " This person who is harming or disturbing me is in reality encouraging me to practise patience; and since it is impossible to make progress on the spiritual path without developing the strong mind of patience, he or she is of great benefit to me." Patience is a mind motivated by a virtuous intention that happily accepts difficulties and harm from others. A person with no patience has no stability of mind, and is upset by the slightest obstacle or criticism. In contrast, when we develop real patience our mind will be as stable as a mountain and as calm as the depths of an ocean. With such a calm, strong mind it will not be difficult to perfect the spiritual realization of universal love, great compassion, and bodhichitta. By thinking skilfully in these ways, we can regard even those who harm or deceive us as our spiritual teachers. This is a very important point, because it means that everyone can be our teacher. Whether someone is our spiritual teacher or an obstacle to our spiritual progress depends entirely upon our mind. In many ways, those who harm us are the kindest of all because they shatter our complacent view that sees samsara as a pleasure garden, and, like a powerful Spiritual Guide, they inspire us to engage more strongly in spiritual practice. By thinking in this way we can transform the harm we receive into the spiritual path, and instead of being discourage we can learn to cherish even those who harm us. It is especially important to have this attitude towards our close friends and family. Since we spend so much time with them it would be very beneficial if we were to regard them as pure Spiritual teachers.
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To add on:
Friends and enemies: I must emphasize again that merely thinking that compassion and reason and patience are good will not be enough to develop them. We must wait for difficulties to arise and then attempt to practice them. And who creates such opportunities? Not our friends, of course, but our enemies. They are the ones who give us the most trouble. So if we truly wish to learn, we should consider enemies to be our best teacher! For a person who cherishes compassion and love, the practice of tolerance is essential, and for that, an enemy is indispensable. So we should feel grateful to our enemies, for it is they who can best help us develop a tranquil mind! Also, it is often the case in both personal and public life, that with a change in circumstances, enemies become friends. So anger and hatred are always harmful, and unless we train our minds and work to reduce their negative force, they will continue to disturb us and disrupt our attempts to develop a calm mind. Anger and hatred are our real enemies. These are the forces we most need to confront and defeat, no the temporary “enemies’” Who appear intermittently throughout life. Of course, it is natural and right that we all want friends. I often joke that if you really want to be selfish, you should be very altruistic! You should take good care of others, be concerned for their welfare, help them, serve them, make more friends, make more smiles. The result? When you yourself need help, you find plenty of helpers! If , on the other hand, you neglect the happiness of others, in the long term, you will be the loser. And is friendship produced through quarrels and anger, jealous and intense competitiveness? I do not think so. Only affection brings us genuine close friends. In today’s materialistic society, if you have money and power, you seem to have many friends. But they are not friends of yours; they are the friends of your money and power. When you lose your wealth and influence, you will find it very difficult to track these people down. The trouble is that when things in the world go well for us, we become confident that we can manage ourselves and feel we do not need friends, but as our status and health decline, we quickly realize how wrong we were. That is the moment when we learn who is really helpful and who is competently useless. So to prepare for that moment, to make genuine friends who will help us when the need arises, we ourselves must cultivate altruism! Through sometimes people laugh when I say it, I myself always want more friends. I love smiles. Because of this I have the problem for knowing how make more friends and how to get more smiles, in particular, genuine smiles. For there are many kinds of smiles, such as sarcastic artificial or diplomatic smiles. Many smiles produce no feeling of satisfaction, and sometimes they can even create suspicion or fear, can’t they? But a genuine smile really gives us a feeling of freshness and is, I believe, unique to human beings. If these are the smiles we want, then we ourselves must create the reasons for them to appear.
By Dalai Lama
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“ May those who are afraid to be fearless. May those in bondage be free. May those who are powerless be empowered. May all our hearts be joined in friendship.”
“Everyone wants happiness’ nobody wants to suffer. Many problems around us are a mental projection of certain negative or unpleasant things. If we analyze our own mental attitude, we may find it quite unbearable. Therefore, a well-balanced mind is very useful and we should try and have a stable mental state.”
“Physically you are a human being, but mentally you are incomplete. Given that we have this physical human form, we must safeguard our mental capability for judgment. For that, we cannot take out insurance; the insurance company is within: self-discipline, self awareness, and a clear realization of the disadvantage of anger and the positive effects of kindness.
“The ultimate authority must always rest with the individual’s own reason and critical analysis.”
By Dalai Lama
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Anger management techniques… Anger is one of the most common and destructive delusions, and it afflicts our mind almost every day. To solve the problem of anger we first need to recognize the anger within our mind, acknowledge how it harms both ourselves and others, and appreciate the benefits of being patient in the face of difficulties. We then need to apply practical methods in our daily life to reduce our anger and finally to prevent it from arising at all. What is anger? Anger is a deluded mind that focuses on an animate or inanimate object, feels it to be unattractive, exaggerates its bad qualities, and wishes to harm it. For example, when we are angry with our partner, at that moment he or she appears to us unattractive or unpleasant. We then exaggerate his/her qualities and kindness, until we have built a mental image of an intrinsically fault person. We then wish to harm him insome way, probably by criticizing or disparaging him. Becos it is based on exaggeration, anger is an unrealistic mind; the intrinsically fault person or thing that it focuses on does not in fact exist. Moreover, anger is also an extremely destructive mind that serves no useful purpose whosoever. Having understood the nature and disadvantages of anger, we then need to watch our mind carefully at all times in order to recognize whenever it begins to arise. This explanation of how to overcome our anger through practicing patience is based on guide to the Bodhisattva’s way of life, the famous poem by the great Buddhist master Shantideva. Though composed over a thousand years ago, this is one of the clearest and most powerful explanations of the subject ever written, and is just as relevant today as it was then.
My favorite quotation from Shantideva’s book is: ‘As long as space endures, as long as sentient beings remain, until then, may I too remind and dispel the miseries of the world.’
About Buddhists: All living beings have the same basic wish, to be happy and avoid suffering, but very few people understand the real causes of happiness and suffering. We generally believe that external conditions such as food, friends, cars, and money are the real causes of happiness, and as a result we devote nearly all our time and energy to acquiring these. Superficially it seems that these things can make us happy, but if we look more deeply we will see that they also bring us a lot of suffering and problems. Happiness and suffering are states of mind, and so their main causes cannot be found outside the mind. The real source of happiness is inner peace. If our mind is peaceful, we shall be happy all the time, regardless of external conditions, but if it is disturbed or troubled in any way, shall never be happy, no matter how good our external conditions may be. External conditions can only make us happy if our mind is peaceful. We can understand those through our own experience. For instance, even if we are in the most beautiful surroundings and have everything we need, the moment we get angry, the happiness we may have disappeared. This is because anger has destroyed our inner peace. Buddha taught many profound methods into practice we shall definitely gain a special experience of mental peace. By continuing to improve this experience, deluded states of mind will gradually diminish and our inner peace will grow. Eventually by abandoning delusions altogether we shall attain the permanent inner peace of Nirvana. Having overcome our own delusions, such as anger, attachment, and ignorance, and developed profound spiritual realizations of universal love, compassion, concentration, and wisdom, our ability to help others will be far greater. In his way, we can help others solve their problems not just for a few days or a few years, but forever. We can help them find an inner peace and joy that nothing, not even death, can destroy. How wonderful!
http://gotaro.homestead.com/page3.html
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Wisdom is required in this situation and wisdom can only come from real understanding of your cousin's family (parents??), his personality, his belief (is he Buddhist? If yes what kind?), his financial situation. Why unfortunate things happen to both wife and daughther at the same time, is it due to bad karma in present life commited by himself, his parents?
I have seen too many examples where unfortunate events can be traced back to bad karma within the family. 积善之家必有余庆，积�之家必有余殃。
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Ahhh something that i like about the new sgforum is that we can type in chinese.. There are many beautiful sayings when expressed in chinese, is just very different when the meaning is translated in english. The essence is more striking in chinese sometime
Do continue to post more nice sayings in chinese or english..
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Originally posted by Isis:
Ahhh not something that i like about the new sgforum is that we can type in chinese.. There are many beautiful sayings when expressed in chinese, is just very different when translated in english. The essence is more striking.
Do post more nice sayings in chinese..
typo, *now ;)