Contemplation of physical uncleanliness (ä¸å‡€è§‚)
-
If I succeed in the practice of contemplation of physical uncleanliness of the human body, it will lead to the following outcomes for me:
1) Not only do I eradicate lust from within, I will also become a guy who has no desire for any woman in any way, except for friendship or considering them as if they are my biological sisters.
2) Following number one, this will mean:
a) If I'm not married, I will not have any desire to be with a woman in any romantic sense. This means I will not have a girlfriend. Even if I do, I will probably initiate a peaceful breakup with her.
b) If I'm married, I will probably go for divorce. I have no desire for this woman who lives with me and sleeps next to me. I have no desire to regard her as a woman in the romantic sense. I will just go back to treating her as a close friend. Of course, if I already have kids or my wife is pregnant with my kid, this won't be easy. I won't go for a divorce immediately. I will wait till my kids are financially independent or quite grown up to at least earn a living on their own, before initiating divorce. In the meantime I will sleep either with my son or sleep in the living room.
There is a trend in which young married couples put off having kids altogether and some even go on without marital sex at all throughout their marriage. Imagine if these people had practised Buddhism and succeeded in the practice of contemplation of physical uncleanliness plus understanding how love between man and woman is a form of craving and that it leads to endless samsaric cycles of birth and death, I don't think all of them will stay together as couples any more. They will totally devote themselves to inner cultivation.
The above are my personal views of what I would likely do if I succeed in the practice of contemplation of physical uncleanliness. So it does not apply to everyone. But I would like to hear what fellow Buddhists have to say about application of this practice and what would they do when they are in a romantic or marriage relationship with the opposite sex.
My personal view is : if any person who suceeds in this contemplation practice before they even start to have a romantic liking for a member of the opposite sex, I can almost be very sure they won't have any girlfriends or wives throughout their lives anymore. Cos all are their friends and sisters, nothing more than that.
-
Originally posted by Spnw07:
If I succeed in the practice of contemplation of physical uncleanliness of the human body, it will lead to the following outcomes for me:
1) Not only do I eradicate lust from within, I will also become a guy who has no desire for any woman in any way, except for friendship or considering them as if they are my biological sisters.
2) Following number one, this will mean:
a) If I'm not married, I will not have any desire to be with a woman in any romantic sense. This means I will not have a girlfriend. Even if I do, I will probably initiate a peaceful breakup with her.
b) If I'm married, I will probably go for divorce. I have no desire for this woman who lives with me and sleeps next to me. I have no desire to regard her as a woman in the romantic sense. I will just go back to treating her as a close friend. Of course, if I already have kids or my wife is pregnant with my kid, this won't be easy. I won't go for a divorce immediately. I will wait till my kids are financially independent or quite grown up to at least earn a living on their own, before initiating divorce. In the meantime I will sleep either with my son or sleep in the living room.
There is a trend in which young married couples put off having kids altogether and some even go on without marital sex at all throughout their marriage. Imagine if these people had practised Buddhism and succeeded in the practice of contemplation of physical uncleanliness plus understanding how love between man and woman is a form of craving and that it leads to endless samsaric cycles of birth and death, I don't think all of them will stay together as couples any more. They will totally devote themselves to inner cultivation.
The above are my personal views of what I would likely do if I succeed in the practice of contemplation of physical uncleanliness. So it does not apply to everyone. But I would like to hear what fellow Buddhists have to say about application of this practice and what would they do when they are in a romantic or marriage relationship with the opposite sex.
My personal view is : if any person who suceeds in this contemplation practice before they even start to have a romantic liking for a member of the opposite sex, I can almost be very sure they won't have any girlfriends or wives throughout their lives anymore. Cos all are their friends and sisters, nothing more than that.
If you succeed... you can still love sentient beings but not their bodies. You don't just see appearance but their Buddha Nature. If you do, you're a Bodhisattva
That said I have seen enlightened people who still continue their relationships without breaking up. You can still be close companions, even spiritual friends. My dharma teacher and his husband are very close, but I do not think they maintain sexual relationships.
-
Originally posted by An Eternal Now:
If you succeed... you can still love sentient beings but not their bodies. You don't just see appearance but their Buddha Nature. If you do, you're a Bodhisattva
That said I have seen enlightened people who still continue their relationships without breaking up. You can still be close companions, even spiritual friends. My dharma teacher and his husband are very close, but I do not think they maintain sexual relationships.
Hmm, thanks AEN for sharing with me about your dharma teacher and her husband. I like real-life examples. :)
It begs the question, why not divorce if it's just marriage in name? Why not divorce since there is no desire of any kind except for friendship and sibling-semblance type of love? Why would you want to be introduced as a couple or be recognised legally as man and wife when both of you treat each other as friends or siblings?
You don't get married to a close friend, you don't get married to someone you treat as a sister, do you?
-
Originally posted by Spnw07:
Hmm, thanks AEN for sharing with me about your dharma teacher and her husband. I like real-life examples. :)
It begs the question, why not divorce if it's just marriage in name? Why not divorce since there is no desire of any kind except for friendship and sibling-semblance type of love? Why would you want to be introduced as a couple or be recognised legally as man and wife when both of you treat each other as friends or siblings?
You don't get married to a close friend, you don't get married to someone you treat as a sister, do you?
They can still be concerned for each other, and live together like a family. Doesn't mean just because there is no sexual relation means cannot live as a family together or cannot love each other. But it is not longer that kind of strong attachment, you no longer take it as absolutely 'real'.
-
Originally posted by An Eternal Now:
They can still be concerned for each other, and live together like a family. Doesn't mean just because there is no sexual relation means cannot live as a family together or cannot love each other. But it is not longer that kind of strong attachment, you no longer take it as absolutely 'real'.
Yes, no sexual relation doesn't mean cannot live as a family. But the practical thing should be to legally dissolve the marriage and totally avoid being considered as man and wife in law.
-
If a man has no sexual craving over his wife doesn't means must divorce.
-
Originally posted by An Eternal Now:
If you succeed... you can still love sentient beings but not their bodies. You don't just see appearance but their Buddha Nature. If you do, you're a Bodhisattva
That said I have seen enlightened people who still continue their relationships without breaking up. You can still be close companions, even spiritual friends. My dharma teacher and his husband are very close, but I do not think they maintain sexual relationships.
"My dharma teacher and his husband are very close, but I do not think they maintain sexual relationships."Your dharma teacher got a husband? as in guy guy relationship? if thats so i am not surprised that they dont have a sexual relationship.
-
Originally posted by dibilo:
"My dharma teacher and his husband are very close, but I do not think they maintain sexual relationships."Your dharma teacher got a husband? as in guy guy relationship? if thats so i am not surprised that they dont have a sexual relationship.
dibilo
AEN dharma teacher is a lady , of course husband is guy
-
Originally posted by dibilo:
"My dharma teacher and his husband are very close, but I do not think they maintain sexual relationships."Your dharma teacher got a husband? as in guy guy relationship? if thats so i am not surprised that they dont have a sexual relationship.
Haha.. HER husband..
-
no more desire for sex .
~claps~