Originally posted by Zarks:sometimes i think, we humans just made simple things become more complicated until we become confused of what we really want..
Humans have the ability to think but its very hard to think whats right or wrong since we have feeling that can affect our decision.. Being human is easy, but choosing the right or wrong is always difficult even if one is already adult ... sometimes i think that its hard to be human when all actions will determine whether you're a successful person or just plain normal person.
Hello Zarks,
Things are already simple but it is the human factors who are making it complicated.
It could be good to think through the consequence of the action and question yourself what is your intention. If the intention is unwholesome, then perhaps we can try to refrain from doing it or minimise the damage.
I think you know that already.. don't you ?
Just my few cents.
Cheers.
Originally posted by An Eternal Now:Hi Isis long time no see, thanks for the sharing :) Free to come to my jiang tang this sat? Will be playing my taiwan teacher vcd.
Anyway just found something, excerpts from Dealing with Jealousy
The Deceptive Appearances Underlying Jealousy and Envy
As we have seen, jealousy is the inability to bear someone else’s achievement in an area that we exaggerate the importance of, for instance his or her financial success. Envious of it, we wish that we could achieve it instead. We also have seen the variation of this, which occurs when someone receives something from someone, such as love or affection. We wish that we could receive it instead.
This disturbing emotion derives from two deceptive appearances that, because of confusion and just not knowing how things exist, our minds create and project. The first is the dualistic appearance of (1) a seemingly concrete "me" who inherently deserves to achieve or receive something, but did not, and (2) a seemingly concrete "you" who inherently did not deserve to get it. Unconsciously, we feel that the world owes us something and it is unfair when others get it instead. We divide the world into two solid categories: "losers" and "winners," and imagine that people truly exist and are findable inside the boxes of these seemingly solid true categories. Then we put ourselves in the solid permanent category of "loser" and we put the other person in the solid permanent category of "winner." We might even put everyone in the winners’ box, except ourselves. Not only do we feel resentment, we feel doomed. This leads to fixation on the painful thought, "poor me."
Naivety about behavioral cause and effect usually accompanies jealousy and envy. For example, we do not understand and even deny that the person who received a promotion or affection did anything to earn or deserve it. Moreover, we feel that we should get it without having to do anything to bring it about. Alternatively, we feel that we did do a lot, but still did not get the reward. Our minds thus create a second deceptive appearance and project it. Our confused minds make things appear to happen for no reason at all, or for only one reason: what we alone did.
Deconstructing Deceptive Appearances
We need to deconstruct these two deceptive appearances. Our cultures might have taught us that the driving principle inherent in the world of living beings is competition: the drive to win, survival of the fittest. But that premise might not be true. Nevertheless, if we have accepted it, we then believe that the world is inherently divided, by its very nature, into an absolute dichotomy of winners and losers. Consequently, we perceive the world in the fixed conceptual categories of winners and losers, and of course view ourselves with the same conceptual framework.
Although these concepts of winners, losers, and competition may be useful for describing evolution, we need to realize that they are only arbitrary mental constructions. "Winner" and "loser" are only mental labels. They are convenient mental categories used to describe certain events, such as coming in first in a race, getting a promotion at work instead of someone else getting it, or losing a client or student to someone else. We could just as easily divide people into the categories of "nice persons" and "not nice persons," depending on how we define "nice."
When we see that all such dualistic sets of categories are merely mentally constructed, we start to realize that there is nothing inherent on the side of "me" or "you" that locks us into solid categories. It is not that we are basically losers, inherently, and, in thinking of ourselves as losers, we have finally discovered the truth – the real "me" is a loser. Poor "me." Rather, we have many other qualities besides losing a client to someone else, so why dwell on that one as if that were the real "me."
Furthermore, it is only because of our limited minds and preoccupation with thinking "poor ‘me’" and "you bastard ‘you,’" that it seems like success and failure, gain and loss, happen for no reasons at all, or for irrelevant reasons. That is why we think that what happened to us was unfair. What happens in the universe, however, happens because of a huge network of cause and effect. So many things affect what happens to us and to others, it is beyond our imaginations to include every factor.
When we deconstruct these two deceptive appearances (winners and losers, and things happening for no good reason) and stop projecting them, we relax our feelings of injustice. Beneath our jealousy is merely awareness of what has been accomplished, what has happened. We lost a client to someone else and now someone else has this client. This makes us aware of a goal to achieve. If we do not begrudge someone else for achieving or receiving it, we can perhaps learn how the person accomplished the feat. This enables us to see how to accomplish it ourselves. We only feel jealous because of overlaying this awareness with dualistic appearances and concrete identities.
Oh yes, sometime we aggravate the importance. When it is really "simple" and we just make it complicated.
Hello AEN, I can't make it for the Dharma talk due to meditation retreat. Thanks very much for the invitation.
Originally posted by Isis:
Oh yes, sometime we aggravate the importance. When it is really "simple" and we just make it complicated.Hello AEN, I can't make it for the Dharma talk due to meditation retreat. Thanks very much for the invitation.
Yup you're right... and the aggravation can become a momentum so strong that we lose ourself in it... it can even become a 'motivating factor' to make the person seek for financial success. But a bad motivating factor... why? because it totally controls our mind and we are powerless... Always be aware of our momentum.. its subtle but affects us in every moment of our lives, unless we practice.
Thusness: ....But there are other forms of attachment, other forms of thoughts, that are as strong as “self”. Like for example, Nub, to look for spiritual powers. {laughs} It’s a momentum that actually controls his entire mind, but it’s OK you know, just like Ren Cheng said you know, it is ok to seek, but you cannot let things control you that way. To know something that is beyond has always been inside us. Even for scientists. It has always been part of us. Curiosity to know that we are more than this. We are more than what you see as surface. It’s ok to have that. But we’re so engrossed and so controlled by it that you fail to see what it is it, what it means. To me, it is our nature. But if you were to see it as something to seek, to go for, to find, and then to grab, then you are leading to a very dangerous path because there is a momentum that you cannot control. Alright?.........
Anyway happy meditating!
Originally posted by Evangelion84:Was discussing with my gf last nite about Envy – a vice choosen randomly by us.
Let’s say:
A friend has a nice bag. And we envy her. We want to have the bag.
From a Buddhist point of view:
1) We have to realise that the bag is transient.
2) There is attachment to the bag, attachment to the desire for the bag (?), attachment to self (becos “I” wan to own the bag?)
3) The way to get rid of the envy is to realise that the bag is transient, and there would not be any attachment.
Form her point of view:
1) Envy is a feeling that is wrong, pure and simple.
2) We should not be envious. Instead we should be happy that our friend is able to own such a bag.
3) We should work hard for the bag, if we wan it.
In short, she feels that the bag is “not at fault”. The problem lies not in the bag. But with yourself that is feeling envious.
I agree, I said its the attachment to the bag or the desire for it that is causing the envy.
She said that’s a roundabout way of looking of things, as envy is a wrong feeling. We should not be feeling envious, its just as simple as that.
I wonder if any fellow forumers has any views on our discussion. I am pretty new to Buddhism and may not be able to apply its concepts correctly.
Cheers =)
I think all the above-mentioned stuff are in Buddhist. You are degrading buddhism by comparing buddhism with her.
Originally posted by FirePig:
I think all the above-mentioned stuff are in Buddhist. You are degrading buddhism by comparing buddhism with her.
Hello Firepig,
i think we are all learning. Sometime, we need to be brave and list out our doubts in order to clarify our doubts. I think TS is just comparing comments. Nothing personal to do with Buddhism and her bah.
Cheers =)
Originally posted by Isis:
Hello Firepig,i think we are all learning. Sometime, we need to be brave and list out our doubts in order to clarify our doubts. I think TS is just comparing comments. Nothing personal to do with Buddhism and her bah.
Cheers =)
Firepig
Just to add on..
I believe friendly exchange of views are fine with each other, in dharma practise you need to know good shan zhi shi...(knowledge buddhist)....but getting to comparision with one another, just to prove your stand, then it is a result of self egoness...
In psycology,self esteam always play a part in spuring ego effect in humans mind...Sometimes we didnt see ourselve clearly...because we know the things are wrong to be attached, yet we attached to it..and way in your mind, you have planned all the excuses to cover up this doing...
In this world, I believe, I we ourselve best know ourselve, and that is why, we ourselve tend to be selfish..we always put our "self" infront...if this is reversal, then you are actually practising bodhisavatta way...throw your "self" away..and put others as prority tactfully of coz...
Knowledge is power, but this power could lead to ego and increase self esteam..if you could use this power and manifest it to good practical use..then you will understand knowledge is power...