Resentment ,Anger and Frustration :3 fires burning life
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Resentment is the unreveal hatred towards others .It is a very unhealthy state of mind when one is in resentment.
Frustration is unable to accomplish something and start arising frustration
Anger is the illwill and enmity directed towards people
So ,Forummers ,how do you tackle this state of mind and resolve it to prevent it damaging your spirituality ?
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just let it be, �缘
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1. You must know yourself 2. Carry on thinking with anger,resentment,frustration doesn't solve anything 3. Stop holding to past events it just choke your mind... 4. Think innovatively about the future
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why u say me?
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we can try meditation to cultivate more self-awareness. in a comfortable room, close our eyes and let ourselves become more aware of the surroundings. identify the specific feeling we have, be it resentment or anger towards smth or someone, and after tt, slowly try to visualise ways in which we can overcome it.
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There are many ways... I think one is through metta, which is attempting to transform it through loving kindness. This method is an antidote to anger towards someone, and is a very important virtue and should be emphasized and cultivated. But metta by itself cannot lead to liberation. It is like trying to use a method to treat an ailment. It is not instantaneous liberation.
For the more direct liberation on the spot, we need to practice naked awareness on the emotion itself, without separating oneself from the anger, and because one does not separate oneself from the feeling of anger, one does not label and judge the anger as if it is an object separate from yourself... there is no subject-object relationship... instead you let yourself 'be' that feeling.
Just the presence of 'anger' -- yet you do not even know what it is, there is no interpretation or labeling ('this is anger, this is bad, etc') -- one just completely opens up to the raw feeling, but you do not follow or get caught up in the mental stories. We are simply completely present with and as that feeling without feeding it with more thoughts.
This is easier said than done because obviously our conditionings and habitual energy is very strong -- it constantly comes up unnoticed, so we need to practice for a period of time.
As Longchen just posted in another thread:
Fully agree with AEN.
I think liberation is not so easy... not that I am there.
Too often we think we are there when in fact we are still far away from it. I am certainly not there... but I have read several times that completing the Dzogchen practice takes at least 60 years of practice.
The most subtle obscurations are the most normal and natural ones to us. So natural that it is transparent or invisible to us.
We are all born with the various passions (5 elements manifestations) in different degree. These passions are so natural that we think that we are free of them. Even the natural habit of blocking any thoughts/feelings that are deem as unwholesome is part of the passion... depending on our personality makeup. We may block using fear, anger, pride etc.
Many time we treasure the non-dual glimpses so much that we get distracted in all the other times. When dualism takes over, we will not be able to detect it at that moment... because the conditionings are so invisible and natural.
Just a sharing
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What I just said applies to other emotions, such as Guilt, Fear, and ANY emotions and feelings.
Pema Chodron:
PPema Chondron: [...] We need to let go of our storylines. The meditation practices teach us to notice thoughts, touch them, and let them go allow us to let go of the story lines. Then we can get in touch with the underlying raw feeling of guilt itself. That's the nowness we were talking about earlier -- being completely present with the discomfort that comes with the guilt and not simply feeding it with thoughts.-----------------
Questioner: In certain situations in life I feel blocked by a fear which prevents me from acting. How can I be free from this obstacle?
Jean Klein: First free yourself from the word, the concept, 'fear'. It is loaded with memory. Face only the perception. Accept the sensation
completely. When the personality who judges and controls is completely absent, when there is no longer a psychological relationship with the
sensation, it is really welcomed and unfolds. Only in welcoming without a welcomer can there be real transformation.
We are in essence one with all existence; when we truly observe ourselves there is ultimately no observer, only observation - awareness. -
1) I try to think of amituofo and chant with my beads, instead of focusing on the negative aspects of situation and the person..
2) Contemplate the causes of karma. I will be creating causes for future suffering if i continue to commit unwholesome karma such as harsh speech. Thus i will refrain from committing such unwholesome karma.
3) Metta meditation heal ourselves and others.
Difficult situation are also a result of our own action. Learn to forgive and forget. They are also our parents in our past numerousl lifetimes who have also been kind to us.
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Originally posted by rokkie:
just let it be, �缘
This is important -- let it be. But what is 'It' when it just 'Be'/'Is'? As Thusness asked four years ago, "When things are "be"? What is it?
" 'It' is not anger, not 'bad emotions', -- not anything that mind interpretes it to be -- it is just a pure presence. Pure presence is all there is.Our entire experience of the world and of ourselves is coloured by our conditionings... we interprete our experience according to what we have learnt or been taught from others. Prior to the mental conditioning, what is It?
To truly let things be, we become completely alive to what things truly are free from that layer of conditionings.
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Just a sharing and a reminder for myself as well :)
IMO, just leave these feeling as there are. Any attempt to destroy or block them is the arising of the 'sense of self'.Sometimes, i notice that there will be more thoughts that will come up to reinforce the anger. Just don't entertain them. These thoughts are about 'how to protect, avenge and defend oneself'.
The thoughts and emotions can condition us... but there are not entirely 'real' in a sense. In a way, they are valid and invalid at the same time.
Thoughts attempts to defend the person from harm ... but if one has enough 'faith' in the 'presence as true nature', there is more of the willingness to let go of defending oneself.
If 'let go' sufficiently, one may gain more 'faith' and have some insight that understand that the thoughts and feelings are not absolute. The power of the anger and thoughts to condition may weaken.
There must be however a daringness to explore uncharted territories. ...for to see that 'there is no self to defend' is an experience alien to our normal mode of belief.
On the other hand, it is not just a 'sit there and no need to do anything' kind of experience. We still live as per normal and exercise decision-making too.
Also, because we are in samsara, don't expect life to be pleasant all the time. .. the constant change doesn't allow that.
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Thanks for the impt sharing :)
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Originally posted by maggot:
1. You must know yourself
2. Carry on thinking with anger,resentment,frustration doesn’t solve anything
3. Stop holding to past events it just choke your mind…
4. Think innovatively about the future
First time i see Maggot thinks like a Buddha ,thats great :)keep it up
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I'm not buddha... I'm only trying to know buddha...through his teachings
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Originally posted by An Eternal Now:
This is important -- let it be. But what is 'It' when it just 'Be'/'Is'? As Thusness asked four years ago, "When things are "be"? What is it?
" 'It' is not anger, not 'bad emotions', -- not anything that mind interpretes it to be -- it is just a pure presence. Pure presence is all there is.Our entire experience of the world and of ourselves is coloured by our conditionings... we interprete our experience according to what we have learnt or been taught from others. Prior to the mental conditioning, what is It?
To truly let things be, we become completely alive to what things truly are free from that layer of conditionings.
it means pure presence, but it does not make sense, if you assemble this together, let pure presence be, i don't understand what's does this mean, i think it could mean anything, since let it be, is universally adopted, include emotion, good or ill emotion, delusion.
After you stoping trying to control it, it will subdue and reside in peace.
let it be, no action or no interference is little mantra, little reminder of the right path, when you dealing with daily life.
Different meaning may be attached to it.
My understand of conditioning, is people is result of accumulation of 业，so the condition does not mean mental condition only.
I guess, prior to mental condition, which here means knowledge occupied in your mind.It's the emptiness, which is the pure presence you called, the true buddhaness of human
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Pure presence is simply pure presence, pure awareness. Emptiness is not just empty, it's filled with presence. It is what things truly are prior to and even during our conceptualization process (but our habitual imputation dulls our luminosity, prevents us and makes us 'avoids' seeing what is)
We often have not truly looked or heard anything deeply -- because our mind always kicks in and say "I am seeing a tree, this tree is green, this tree is old, this...." it keeps on labeling what it sees, hears, feel. It is grasped because the mind projects an external identity to the object of experience, as if it has some inherent objective existence out there, apart from oneself. The constant subject/object projection prevents us from experiencing the moment non-dually. (no 'me' and 'tree', just the awareness, seeing inseparable from seen)
If one totally lets go of this clinging to separation, the clinging to 'self', and all judgements, labeling fall away into the pure moment of experience... that is pure presence. Without thinking, without labeling and judging, without 'me', awareness continues to function perfectly and naturally in sensory awareness. We do not stop 'seeing' and 'awar-ing' -- that is pure presence.
The same goes to all our thoughts and emotions... rather than blocking them, labeling and judging them, we should simply let go (of any dualistic projection) and let them be -- and again as Thusness asked, "When things are "be"? What is it?
"Don't label it... don't judge it...
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unless you are a fulltime monk, otherwise, stop labelling is not easy, like i am sitting in front of computer, i know it's a computer, LCD screen. Am i leballing, or i need think the other way round, Do i need to think like seeing the reality, when i am chatting, i remember there is saying in chinese, three level of mentality in life.
�山是山,�水是水,
�山�是山,�水�是水
�山还是山,�水还是水,
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Originally posted by rokkie:
unless you are a fulltime monk, otherwise, stop labelling is not easy, like i am sitting in front of computer, i know it's a computer, LCD screen. Am i leballing, or i need think the other way round, Do i need to think like seeing the reality, when i am chatting, i remember there is saying in chinese, three level of mentality in life.
�山是山,�水是水,
�山�是山,�水�是水
�山还是山,�水还是水,
If one practices, then the habitual labelling and thinking mind will subside. Thoughts still arise for practical purpose but one is not caught up in them and they pass away leaving no traces.
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Originally posted by An Eternal Now:
If one practices, then the habitual labelling and thinking mind will subside. Thoughts still arise for practical purpose but one is not caught up in them and they pass away leaving no traces.
you know i am engineering ,student, so i definitely found this"no labelling" or conceptual, not feasible, because, you must first, know 1+1=2, and many other formulas, you must remember it in your mind, so for a engineeing student, this cannot be done. I believe for most of people who is in the industry , it cannot be done, unless a fulltime monk, or some kind of freelancer. -
so how to handle pple who are bad tempered?
i dont really have a temper...but being together w pple who's quite short fuse does gets me irritated and angry...
i dun lik to get angry cos it jus makes me wanna say hurtful stuff to pple..hence usually will keep quiet
but..some times pple who can really talk well, yet being angry at e same time, they seem to vent anger on me...how to handle e situation? cos..watever i say tend to be rebutted, and doesnt makes sense to these pple..whether i say or not say...will still be 'scolded'....
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Originally posted by alfagal:
so how to handle pple who are bad tempered?
i dont really have a temper...but being together w pple who's quite short fuse does gets me irritated and angry...
i dun lik to get angry cos it jus makes me wanna say hurtful stuff to pple..hence usually will keep quiet
but..some times pple who can really talk well, yet being angry at e same time, they seem to vent anger on me...how to handle e situation? cos..watever i say tend to be rebutted, and doesnt makes sense to these pple..whether i say or not say...will still be 'scolded'....
abandon these people. they are abusing, and meantime, don't be so sensitive, read more books, build up self confidence,bless
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Originally posted by bohiruci:
Resentment is the unreveal hatred towards others .It is a very unhealthy state of mind when one is in resentment.
Frustration is unable to accomplish something and start arising frustration
Anger is the illwill and enmity directed towards people
So ,Forummers ,how do you tackle this state of mind and resolve it to prevent it damaging your spirituality
First of all, an individual must realise he has these emotion. Some sceneriors on a few types of people.
1.Didnt realise his emotion.
2.Self Realise / or remind by other about his emotion, and let emotion take control.
3.Realise emotion, and slowly tame it.
4.Realise emotion and using technique to resolve it, or using alternative mindset or habits to replace the negatie habitual emotion.
5.Realise it and immediately conquer it.
One should understand his emotion, and usually it is the environmental influences that can let his emotion to arouses. If an individual do not understand his emotional exchanges, it will be difficult for him to conquer it. By understanding the root of the cause, he should applies dharma into it, as seen the outside world are impermance. Meditation is a great way to subpress such negative emotion, exercising and Yoga are great as well...Mind training is very important. When the mind is strong, the body is strong.
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Originally posted by rokkie:
you know i am engineering ,student, so i definitely found this"no labelling" or conceptual, not feasible, because, you must first, know 1+1=2, and many other formulas, you must remember it in your mind, so for a engineeing student, this cannot be done. I believe for most of people who is in the industry , it cannot be done, unless a fulltime monk, or some kind of freelancer.A practicing person can continue to do mathematics but is just not caught up in concepts, theories, and interpretations of reality. He understands that whatever mental interpretations though useful are just mental projections. He is grounded in what is real, which is not what concept can grasp.
The sound of bird chirping, sensations of feet on the ground, is not a conceptual knowledge. It is a direct non conceptual awareness.
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We say that we don’t like pain, but here in sesshin (Zen retreat) we learn how to appreciate pain. We don’t like fatigue, but here we come to meet and learn how not to be possessed by fatigue. Most of us begin sesshin with a concrete sense of our own personal identity, but here we come to see through artificial distinctions, to realize that from any point in the universe we can get to any other. So, you are not separate from me, though we are uniquely different. We come to sesshin to meet boredom, clean toilets, get our hands dirty, and face our own anger, sadness, joy and sorrow, without rejecting anything, in fact accepting that everything has its place. Here we realize how to appreciate every aspect of existence, every pain, every breath, every puff of breeze, every drop of rain, every ray of sunshine, every sparkle of morning star, every blossom, every piece of dog shit. This is our work, just to appreciate everything, and learn how not to be pushed around by our prejudices, our inhibitions, our dislikes, our preconceptions, our beliefs, our ideas, our hopes.
~ Genjo Osho
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Originally posted by An Eternal Now:
A practicing person can continue to do mathematics but is just not caught up in concepts, theories, and interpretations of reality. He understands that whatever mental interpretations though useful are just mental projections. He is grounded in what is real, which is not what concept can grasp.
The sound of bird chirping, sensations of feet on the ground, is not a conceptual knowledge. It is a direct non conceptual awareness.
i guess such people cannot do well in mathematics, it's full of logics, no common sense, no direct awareness, sometimes you think why 1+1 cannot be equal to 3 , because 1+1 could be equal to anything, if without the formulation, do you agree, if someone do not define 1+1= 2, it could be equal to anything, so discplined attitude is require, no take granted, -
Originally posted by rokkie:
i guess such people cannot do well in mathematics, it's full of logics, no common sense, no direct awareness, sometimes you think why 1+1 cannot be equal to 3 , because 1+1 could be equal to anything, if without the formulation, do you agree, if someone do not define 1+1= 2, it could be equal to anything, so discplined attitude is require, no take granted,I don't understand your logic.
As far as I am concerned, there are no contradictions whatsoever with doing mathematics and practicing. Obviously if you are doing mathematics you have to follow the laws of mathematics.
That said mathematics only deal with conceptual analysis and can never touch the nature of reality.