It occured to me that the places I've ever been in life were all hazy like a dream, they came and went. Then I had a further realisation... even my thoughts too, are like a dream, they came and went in lightning speed. Our entire life is literally "like a dream, an illusion, a bubble or a shadow, like a dew or like lightning flash". It's all like a dream!
And so... I dropped all my thoughts and at that moment, what's left? Only my own existence and presence... which is real and not hazy at all... which does not come and go, will never come to past and is always Present. And there is just this awareness of my own existence and nothing else.
Just drop all your mental chattering, drop everything, and allow yourself to be filled with only this sense of existence or presence until you realize what existence is. This is then the beginning of true self knowledge beyond the duality of knower and known.
Friends... life is literally like a dream.. if you haven't realised, whatever you experienced, did, achieved, gained or possessed, the relationships you cherish, or things you learnt in this life, including even your dharma knowledge... that has to be left behind when physical death comes. It is just like an illusion. If you do not know what is real then all is for naught. Don't waste your life away chasing after phantoms and dreams and not realise who you truly are.
Here's something I found on another forum, thought of sharing it:
DHARMA TALK ON ONE MIND
by Bassui Tokusho Zenji
If you
would free yourself of the sufferings of the Six Realms, you must learn
the direct way to become a Buddha. This way is no other than the
realization of your own Mind. Now what is this Mind? It is the true
nature of all sentient beings, that which existed before our parents
were born and hence before our own birth, and which presently exists,
unchangeable and eternal. So it is called one's Face before one's
parents were born. This Mind is intrinsically pure. When we are born it
is not newly created, and when we die it does not perish. It has no
distinction of male or female, not has it any coloration of good or
bad. It cannot be compared with anything, so it is called
Buddha-nature. Yet countless thoughts issue from this Self-nature as
waves arise in the ocean or as images are reflected in a mirror.
If
you want to realize your own Mind, you must first of all look into the
source from which thoughts flow. Sleeping and working, standing and
sitting, profoundly ask yourself, "What is my own Mind?" with an
intense yearning to resolve this question. This is called "training" or
"practice" or "desire for truth" or "thirst for realization." What is
termed Zazen is no more than looking into one's own mind. It is better
to search your own mind devotedly than to read and recite innumerable
sutras and dharani every day for countless years. Such endeavors, which
are but formalities, produce some merit, but this merit expires and
again you must experience the suffering of the Three Evil Paths.
Because searching one's own mind leads ultimately to enlightenment,
this practice is a prerequisite to becoming a Buddha. No matter whether
you have committed either the ten evil deeds or the five deadly sins,
still if you turn back your mind and enlighten yourself, you are a
Buddha instantly. But do not commit sins and expect to be saved by
enlightenment [from the effects of your own actions. Neither
enlightenment] nor a Buddha nor a Patriarch can save a person who,
deluding himself, goes down evil ways.
Imagine a child sleeping
next to its parents and dreaming it is being beaten or is painfully
sick. The parents cannot help the child no matter how much it suffers,
for no one can enter the dreaming mind of another. If the child could
awaken itself, it could be freed of this suffering automatically. In
the same way, one who realizes that his own Mind is Buddha frees
himself instantly from the sufferings arising from [ignorance of the
law of] ceaseless change of birth-and-death. If a Buddha could prevent
it, do you think he would allow even one sentient being to fall into
hell? Without Self-Realization one cannot understand such things as
these.
What kind of master is it that this very moment sees
colors with the eyes and hears voices with the ears, that now raises
the hands and moves the feet? We know these are functions of our own
mind, but no one knows precisely how they are performed. It may be
asserted that behind these actions there is no entity, yet it is
obvious they are being performed spontaneously. Conversely, it may be
maintained that these are the acts of some entity; still the entity is
invisible. If one regards this question as unfathomable, all attempts
to reason [out an answer] will cease and one will be at a loss to know
what to do. In this propitious state deepen and deepen the yearning,
tirelessly, to the extreme. When the profound questioning penetrates to
the very bottom, and that bottom is broken open, not the slightest
doubt will remain that your own Mind is itself Buddha, the
Void-universe. There will then be no anxiety about life or death, no
truth to search for.
In a dream you may stray and lose your way
home. You ask someone to show you how to return or you pray to God or
Buddhas to help you, but still you can't get home. Once you rouse
yourself from your dream-state, however, you find that you are in your
own bed and realize that the only way you could have gotten home was to
awaken yourself. This (kind of spiritual awakening] is called "return
to the origin" or "rebirth in paradise." It is the kind of inner
realization that can be achieved with some training. Virtually all who
like Zazen and make an effort in practice, be they laymen or monks, can
experience to this degree. But even such [partial] awakening cannot be
attained except through the practice of Zazen. You would be making a
serious error, however, were you to assume that this was true
enlightenment in which there is no doubt about the nature of reality.
You would be like a man who having found copper gives up the desire for
gold.
Upon such realization question yourself even more
intensely in this wise: "My body is like a phantom, like bubbles on a
stream. My mind, looking into itself, is as formless as empty-space,
yet somewhere within sounds are perceived. Who is hearing?" Should you
question yourself in this wise with profound absorption, never
slackening the intensity of your effort, your rational mind eventually
will exhaust itself and only questioning at the deepest level will
remain. Finally you will lose awareness of your own body. Your
long-held conceptions and notions will perish, after absolute
questioning, in the way that every drop of water vanishes from a tub
broken open at the bottom, and perfect enlightenment will follow like
flowers suddenly blooming on withered trees.
With such
realization you achieve true emancipation. But even now repeatedly cast
off what has been realized, turning back to the subject that realizes,
that is, to the root bottom, and resolutely go on. Your Self-nature
will then grow brighter and more transparent as your delusive feelings
perish, like a gem gaining luster under repeated polishing, until at
last it positively illumines the entire universe. Don't doubt this!
Should your yearning be too weak to lead you to this state in your
present lifetime, you will undoubtedly gain Self-realization easily in
the next, provided you are still engaged in this questioning at death,
just as yesterday's work half done was finished easily today.
While
you are doing Zazen neither despise nor cherish the thoughts that
arise; only search your own mind, the very source of these thoughts.
You must understand that anything appearing in your consciousness or
seen by your eyes is an illusion, of no enduring reality. Hence you
should neither fear nor be fascinated by such phenomena. If you keep
your mind as empty as space, unstained by extraneous matters, no evil
spirits can disturb you even on your deathbed. While engaged in Zazen,
however, keep none of this counsel in mind. You must only become the
question "What is this Mind?" or "What is it that hears these sounds?"
When you realize this Mind you will know that it is the very source of
all Buddhas and sentient beings. The Bodhisattva Kannon is so called
because he attained enlightenment by perceiving -i.e., grasping the
source of the sounds of the world about him.
At work, at rest,
never stop trying to realize who it is that hears. Even though your
questioning becomes almost unconscious, you won't find the one who
hears, and all your efforts will come to naught. Yet sounds can be
heard, so question yourself to an even profounder level. At last every
vestige of self-awareness will disappear and you will feel like a
cloudless sky. Within yourself you will find no "I," nor will you
discover anyone who hears. This Mind is like the void, yet it hasn't a
single spot that can be called empty. This state is often mistaken for
Self-realization. But continue to ask yourself even more intensely,
"Now who is it that hears?" If you bore and bore into this question,
oblivious to anything else; even this feeling of voidness will vanish
and you will be unaware of anything-total darkness will prevail. [Don't
stop here, but] keep asking with all your strength, "What is it that
hears?" Only when you have completely exhausted the questioning will
the question burst; now you will feel like a man come back from the
dead. This is true realization. You will see the Buddhas of all the
universes face to face and the Patriarchs past and present. Test
yourself with this koan: "A monk asked Joshu: 'What is the meaning of
Bodhidharma's coming to China?' Joshu replied: 'The oak tree in the
garden.' " Should this koan leave you with the slightest doubt, you
need to resume questioning, "What is it that hears?"
If you
don't come to realization in this present life, when will you? Once you
have died you won't be able to avoid a long period of suffering in the
Three Evil Paths. What is obstructing realization? Nothing but your own
half-hearted desire for truth. Think of this and exert yourself to the
utmost.