question about No Doer in actions

• Ozean

  27 Aug 12, 07:35

  Hi everyone,

   

  There was a profound insight happened 5 motnhs ago. During 7 or 8 days there was just the wonder of this, because life was just happening. Movements of the body were seen to be just happening on itself. Thoughts were arising. No Ozean thinking the thoughts. After 8 days the Belief of a seperate Self doing something made its appearance again. It always keep on revolving this same belief in being the doer, who has some kind of control and free will.

   

  The same  experiment that keeps on coming back in smilar ways is the belief:

   

  'I am going to lift up the hand in the air whenever I want'

   

  It is a thought. Forcing the eyes to close and trying to send conscious signals is also happening. BUt then, at the end of the end......boom, I life the hand up in the air, which is an afterthought. NOw, I can say both thoughts (pre and after) happens on itself, waiting for the hand to lift up is happening on itself, closing the eyes and trying to move to hand is happening..........but..............I am lost there. I am not sure what I am missing here.

   

  In this way, the same applies with the following thoughts that appear here.

   

  'I am going to breath slower'

  'I am going to think of 5 football players'

  'I am going to blink my eyes'

  I am going to scratch my hand'

  'I am going to stop doing anything'

  'I am going to hear sounds from the right side'

   

  Can you see where it ends up with?

  MOre seeking!!!!!!

  And a stronger identification with the one who is looking for the doer.

  So I am still looking for any doubt or any belief in being the doer. What can I do?

  I also feel an enormous amount of depression and not understanding this for more than 5 years now since I first heard of doership.

   

  Any suggestions would be appreciated.

   

• bycai

  27 Aug 12, 09:25

  In a dream having full of love

  

• An Eternal Now

  2 Sep 12, 14:08

  Hi ozean, sorry didn't have time to reply in the past week.

  You seem to be describing an experience where the sense of doership dissolves. It is not the realization of anatta. But if an insight into no-self as a dharma seal arises, then it becomes effortless. Naturally, doubts or beliefs in a self will dissolve on its own accord.

  I think following the advise of Thusness in contemplating the two stanzas will be good: http://awakeningtoreality.blogspot.sg/2009/03/on-anatta-emptiness-and-spontaneous.html

   

  p.s.

  'the hands are going to lift up the hand in the air whenever there is a want'

   

  Only action, only intention, and they are interdependent. No I.