Asking for advice

• chlorf

  13 Sep 12, 07:03

  I'm hoping someone enlightened will respond, but that's unlikely...

  I have trouble keeping celibate, and I'm addicted to doing, and whenever I'm with other people I can't take part in the conversation. So I'm isolated and unable to have life experiences which would make me more mature.

  I would like to stop all activity and become a pure witness, but it seems impossible.

  On top of that, because of an energy leak, every time I lie down to sleep I lose energy. There is a certain position in sleep that it seems I don't lose energy, but I always roll over into another position. I could sleep sitting down, but the bed is so tempting.

  Without practicing celibacy and collecting energy, and especially in isolation, it seems enlightenment is impossible. Can somebody please help?

  If anyone here is enlightened, could you email me at [email protected]?

• An Eternal Now

  13 Sep 12, 12:29

  Hi Chlorf, it is not necessary that you must practice celibacy, nor shun activities, in order to be enlightened. Neither do you need isolation*. There are different levels of enlightenment. However it is true that at the higher levels of enlightenment (say, anagami and arhantship), sexual desire or sense desire disappears. Those of the sotapanna and sakadagami level of enlightenment might still engage in sexual activities.

  More importantly you must grasp the gist of practice and have the right view. Then dedicate quality time to practice letting go and mindfulness everyday, i.e. meditation practice. In the day you can still engage in your mundane activities, though try to let go of addictive or unwholesome patterns of behaviours and be mindful as much as possible.

   

  *Buddha does not recommend isolation as being necessary, on the other hand he encourage people in this way:

  SN 45.2

  PTS: S v 2

  CDB ii 1524

  Upaddha Sutta: Half (of the Holy Life)

  translated from the Pali by

  Thanissaro Bhikkhu

  © 1997–2012

  Alternate format:

  I have heard that on one occasion the Blessed One was living among the Sakyans. Now there is a Sakyan town named Sakkara. There Ven. Ananda went to the Blessed One and, on arrival, having bowed down to the Blessed One, sat to one side. As he was sitting there, Ven. Ananda said to the Blessed One, "This is half of the holy life, lord: admirable friendship, admirable companionship, admirable camaraderie."[1]

  "Don't say that, Ananda. Don't say that. Admirable friendship, admirable companionship, admirable camaraderie is actually the whole of the holy life. When a monk has admirable people as friends, companions, & comrades, he can be expected to develop & pursue the noble eightfold path.

  "And how does a monk who has admirable people as friends, companions, & comrades, develop & pursue the noble eightfold path? There is the case where a monk develops right view dependent on seclusion, dependent on dispassion, dependent on cessation, resulting in relinquishment. He develops right resolve... right speech... right action... right livelihood... right effort... right mindfulness... right concentration dependent on seclusion, dependent on dispassion, dependent on cessation, resulting in relinquishment. This is how a monk who has admirable people as friends, companions, & colleagues, develops & pursues the noble eightfold path.

  "And through this line of reasoning one may know how admirable friendship, admirable companionship, admirable camaraderie is actually the whole of the holy life: It is in dependence on me as an admirable friend that beings subject to birth have gained release from birth, that beings subject to aging have gained release from aging, that beings subject to death have gained release from death, that beings subject to sorrow, lamentation, pain, distress, & despair have gained release from sorrow, lamentation, pain, distress, & despair. It is through this line of reasoning that one may know how admirable friendship, admirable companionship, admirable camaraderie is actually the whole of the holy life."

  Notes

  1.

  As AN 8.54 points out, this means not only associating with good people, but also learning from them and emulating their good qualities.

  See also: MN 95; AN 4.192; AN 8.54; AN 9.1; Ud 4.1; Iti 17.

• An Eternal Now

  13 Sep 12, 12:31

  You said "whenever I'm with other people I can't take part in the conversation. So I'm isolated and unable to have life experiences which would make me more mature."

   

  Not too sure what is causing this. Why can't you take part in the conversation?