Remarriage considered sexual misconduct?

• NDQ

  29 Mar 13, 09:47

  Hello all,

   

  I have an issue that's been bothering me lately, that is, per Master Hsuan Hua below remarriage is a sexual misconduct? Been looking into this matter and came across several source that said remarriage is allowed in Buddhism, but that seems contradicting to what was said here. Anyone has insight on this?

  http://www.dharmasite.net/bdh59/whatghostsare.html

  Sexual misconduct: In terms of causes and effects, sexual misconduct is the most serious offense. It’s punishment is the most severe. If a married couple gets divorced and each one remarries, then according to the law of cause and effect, their bodies will be cut in half after they die. This is because when they were alive, they had two relationships. So after they die, their karmic retribution manifests. A huge saw slices people in half from head to toe. Their bodies are sawed into as many pieces as the number of offenses they committed. If they were married a hundred times, they are sawed into a hundred pieces, so each of their former partners can have a tiny share of them. What’s so bad about being divided into pieces? If the soul becomes fragmented like that, it’s very difficult to make it whole again. Probably those people won’t regain a human body again for billions of eons. When their nature is split and their souls are incomplete, they become dull and insentient, like plants. When their inherent nature is scattered, it’s hard to become a sentient being again. Even if they became a sentient being, they might be a mosquito. But one human body can transform into 84,000 mosquitoes, and it’s not easy to get all those mosquitoes back into one being. Most of the time, mosquitoes are reborn as mosquitoes. So they bob up and down in the cycle of birth and death, not understanding how to turn away from the dust and unite with enlightenment, or how to renounce confusion and return to the proper. It’s said, "Once the human body is lost, it cannot be regained in ten thousand eons." If you truly understand this principle, how could you not be afraid?

• sinweiy

  29 Mar 13, 11:10

  interesting about the plant and slit 84,000 mosquitoes body. it also prove the concept of non-self. 

  i think different era or society have different karmic effect. how a person/mind being affected by the divorce, the society, the previous partner 's attitude etc, all are involve in the result. and also, the heaviness depend on the mind set. karma is very complex.

  just like the poor lady who donated one cent is more virtue than a rich lady donating more money. same story below:-

   

  During the Buddha's time, in the city of Sravasti there lived a poor woman named Nantuo. The only possessions she had were the clothes on her back, and in order to survive she relied on begging for food or spare change. One day, in the midst of a fiercely cold wind, using her weak, trembling hands, she begged for an entire day, finally receiving one small coin. With this coin she could afford to buy a small morsel of food to support her life.
  

  At this moment, she heard news about people going to make a light offering to the Buddha. She observed all of the city's residents devoutly purchasing numerous kinds of exquisite perfumed oils and candles to give as offerings to the Buddha. Seeing this, she couldn’t help but joyously praised all the devotees as the wish to make an offering to the Buddha arose in her mind. She thought, “The manifestation of the Buddha in this world is so rare and precious, I should really take hold of this opportunity to make an offering to the Buddha. But because in my past I did not cultivate any merit, so in this life I am poor and miserable. Even if I would really like to make an offering, I don't have anything special to offer, which is so shameful!” As she looked at the lone coin sitting in her hand, she knew that if she didn't spend it on food for herself she would have to pass another long, endless night in hunger and cold. And yet, her vow to make a light offering to the Buddha remained strong and resolute.
  

  Using that one small coin, she could only afford to buy the smallest amount of the crudest oil, but her sincerity was much brighter than the light emitted from any lamps. When the shopkeeper who was selling the oil saw how Nantou was willing to suffer through another long, cold night in order to make an offering to the Buddha, he became so moved that he couldn't resist giving her several times more oil than what she had paid for, to help her achieve her dream. As dark descended upon the city, all the townsfolk, from the lords up in the imperial palace down to the commoners on the streets, with their hearts full of sincerity, illuminated their lamps for the Buddha. The lamps dazzled like a sparkling river, and lit up the entire city of Sravasti. The penniless Nantuo was in the midst of that crowd, respectfully lighting her oil lamp. 
  

  When this very ordinary oil lamp of hers became lit up in the middle of the night, it was as if her own low and insignificant life was also being lit up. At this moment Nantuo experienced an extraordinary feeling of richness and happiness. As she knelt down to give her offering to the Buddha, Nantuo reflected back not only on her life, full of destitution and suffering, but also thought about all the sentient beings wandering about in the endless darkness of the birth and death cycle. Because of this, she made a great wish: “I wish that this light may pervade through the ten directions, guiding every sentient creature out of the miserable sea of birth and death, to the path of supreme peace and happiness.
  

  With the arrival of dawn, an unimaginable thing happened! All the oil lamps, no matter how precious, were extinguished from burning through the night, or were blown out by Maudgalyayana, who was in charge of keeping watch on the lamps. But the lamp of the poor Nantuo was still shining brightly. Even after exhausting every type of method for extinguishing the light, Maudgalyayana, who had the greatest supernatural powers out of all Buddha's disciples, still could not put it out. He was astonished: “Whose lamp is this that is still burning? Even with my supernatural powers, I cannot put it out!”
  

  The Buddha, who was present at the time, pointed to the lamp of the poor girl, and with a smile relieved Maudgalyayana's uncertainty. “Maudgalyayana, the person who offered this lamp made a great vow to save all sentient beings. Even if you used all the water in the four great oceans, you would still not be able to extinguish this lamp. This candle was lit using a great, compassionate vow, and because she was full of sincerity, the light radiating from this lamp is inexhaustible.”
  

  At this moment, Nantuo once again came to the temple, and devoutly paid her respects by prostrating to the Buddha. The Buddha received her and spoke the Dharma to her: “Twenty kalpas from now, you will become a Buddha who would guide an immeasurable number of sentient beings. Your name would be Lamplight Buddha.” With tears of gratitude falling down from the corners of her eyes, thinking about how rare it is to be able to encounter a Buddha in this world, the poor girl knelt down and brought her palms together, requesting permission to leave home and enter the monastic life. After becoming a nun, she thoroughly dedicated herself to progressing on the path, and was deeply respected for her diligence and high moral conduct. 
  

  Reflection

  The meaning of alms-giving cannot be found within the amount of money donated, but only within the genuine and sincere heart in which it is given with. When our lives are happy and free from worry, it can be difficult for us to bring rise to this fearless mind of giving as well as making firm vows. We should learn from this poor girl Nantuo, that in life we need to diligently cultivate the ways of virtue, and even in our greatest periods of hardship or stress, we still should try to give to the best of our abilities, and to make offerings and show our respect towards all sentient beings. With a heart of charity, we can light the bright lanterns not only for ourselves, but for all sentient beings.

   

  /\

• Aik TC

  29 Mar 13, 12:09

   

  Dr. K. Sri Dhammananda in his paper titled ‘A Happy Married Life - A Buddhist View’, gives some useful advice on the subject of sexual misconduct. Quote:

   

  .....Laymen are advised in the Buddha's Teaching to avoid sexual misconduct. That means if one wants to experience sex, he must do so without creating any violence or by using any kind of force, threat or causing fear. A decent sex life, which respects the other partner…….

   

  .....To the question of whether Buddhists can keep more than one wife, the direct answer is not available in the Buddha's teaching, because as mentioned earlier, the Buddha did not lay down any religious laws with regard to married life although he has given valuable advice on how to lead a respectable married life…..

   

  .....Although the Buddha did not mention anything regarding the number of wives a man could have, he explicitly mentioned in His discourses that should a married man go to another woman out of wedlock, that could become the cause of his own downfall and he would have to face numerous other problems and disturbances……

   

  .....But, if a husband and wife really cannot live together, instead of leading a miserable life and harboring more jealousy, anger and hatred, they should have the liberty to separate and live peacefully.

   

  DN 31 Sigalovada Sutta: The Discourse to Sigala – ‘The Layperson's Code of Discipline’ provides some very useful comprehensive guidelines on how one should act and behave generally and also on how husband and wife should treat each other.

   

  Frankly, I think Master Hsuan Hua conclusion does cause more confusion than provide more direct and useful information on the subject of sexual misconduct.

   

• An Eternal Now

  29 Mar 13, 12:42

  Hi TS,
  
  I find Venerable Hsuan Hua's views on a number of issues somewhat extreme and traditional. It is very obvious that Venerable Hsuan Hua is a traditionalist. I respect his opinions but I think putting forth such 'threats and fears' is not appropriate.
  
  In Dharmawheel there is another thread about how Venerable Hsuan Hua thought that homosexuals will be in hell. Obviously, such are very traditionalist views. Buddha did not say anything about homosexuality for lay person, so I don't think he had any basis to make such claims. It is purely his opinion and he should not put it out as if it is fact or Buddha's teaching.
  
  
  http://www.dharmawheel.net/viewtopic.php?f=53&t=9638&sid=1b1271f870a0791044f0d4ba71a91414
  
  I wouldn't take such sayings seriously even if it comes from Buddhist masters. Sometimes Buddhist masters are also plain wrong. Don't let popularity of someone affect your judgment and reasoning. Buddhism is not about blind following of some monks. Read kalama sutta. It is unfortunate that many Buddhists nowadays are naive and blind faith followers of monks.
  
  I am very liberal, even ok with the idea of gay marriage. And I am 100% sure you will not have bad karmic effect for remarriage. Sometimes we must relinquish traditional, outdated thinking and embrace progress.
  
  Just 50 years ago many societies still cannot accept multiracial mixing like in U.S. the whites and blacks are seggregated. Nowadays if you suggest they should be seggregated, you will be laughed at and labelled racist. The same with 'gay marriage' in the future. The same with 'remarriage'.
  
  Don't be dogmatic and traditionalist!

• An Eternal Now

  29 Mar 13, 12:46

  ----

• jlowbog

  29 Mar 13, 16:14

  �法��人...
• 2009novice

  29 Mar 13, 16:58

  remarry should be ok... Unless it's out of lust...?

  Here's another tricky question: does a mistress commit sexual misconduct even though she only has one, single man only...?

  i watched the video when a layperson asked Ven Hui Lu

  not easy question leh

• 2009novice

  29 Mar 13, 17:01

  NDQ, try downloading this e-book and read

  http://ethics.buddhist.sg/

• zeus29

  29 Mar 13, 17:26

  Personally, I don't think remarriage is a sexual misconduct at all.

  My views on sexual misconduct:

  1) uncontrollable addiction to sex

  2) forced sex

  I'm on the border line about prostitution. It depends. Forced into prostitution (sold etc) or one's freewill. 

   

• NDQ

  30 Mar 13, 10:08

  Thanks all for your input. I would like to not believe what Master Hsuan Hua said, but I heard he is known for his spiritual penetration and that he observed things in meditation that are beyond our grasp. Not sure if his statement about the remarried person was something he also saw in meditation or it's just something he believed in... The post below was something that bothered me.

  http://sgforums.com/forums/1728/topics/175866?page=2

  What he did state, apparently based on what he had actually observed in meditation, was that the lowest levels of animal ghosts (as I recall, I believe he was referring to low-level animal ghosts who were in the process of falling yet farther down into the abyss of bad karma) might manifest as swarms of insects, which would help discharge the karmic retribution accumulated by the very low level animal. Presumably, after a time then there would be rebirth again as one of these very low level animals and then gradual ascent back up towards the human realm, a process which could even take kalpas.
  
  Another instance: He spoke of instances of a single being taking rebirth as a small group of animals, this involving apparently a paying off of some of the heaviest karma, apparently followed by a re-integration either into a higher animal or a preta or eventually, a person.
  
  The above cases are indeed controversial. But Master Hua's meditative experiences were not what you or I encounter on the meditation cushion. He would not have spoken of these sorts of cases if he had not personally observed them to be the case.
  
  You may have encountered yet other sorts of reports in his writings that I wasn't around at the time to hear. Can't imagine though that he would ever state this to be the case of one human being reborn as multiple humans.
  
  Dharmamitra

• Dharmadhatu

  30 Mar 13, 10:34

  Hi NDQ: if i were you, i will give it the benefit of an open possibility.  The workings of karma are extremely subtle.  

• SevenEleven

  30 Mar 13, 11:36

  Originally posted by Aik TC:

   

  Dr. K. Sri Dhammananda in his paper titled ‘A Happy Married Life - A Buddhist View’, gives some useful advice on the subject of sexual misconduct. Quote:

   

  .....Laymen are advised in the Buddha's Teaching to avoid sexual misconduct. That means if one wants to experience sex, he must do so without creating any violence or by using any kind of force, threat or causing fear. A decent sex life, which respects the other partner…….

   

  .....To the question of whether Buddhists can keep more than one wife, the direct answer is not available in the Buddha's teaching, because as mentioned earlier, the Buddha did not lay down any religious laws with regard to married life although he has given valuable advice on how to lead a respectable married life…..

   

  .....Although the Buddha did not mention anything regarding the number of wives a man could have, he explicitly mentioned in His discourses that should a married man go to another woman out of wedlock, that could become the cause of his own downfall and he would have to face numerous other problems and disturbances……

   

  .....But, if a husband and wife really cannot live together, instead of leading a miserable life and harboring more jealousy, anger and hatred, they should have the liberty to separate and live peacefully.

   

  DN 31 Sigalovada Sutta: The Discourse to Sigala – ‘The Layperson's Code of Discipline’ provides some very useful comprehensive guidelines on how one should act and behave generally and also on how husband and wife should treat each other.

   

  Frankly, I think Master Hsuan Hua conclusion does cause more confusion than provide more direct and useful information on the subject of sexual misconduct.

   

  
  I tend to agree with AEN. However in doubt, I choose to agree with Aik to go back to the basic.
• Aik TC

  30 Mar 13, 13:22

  Originally posted by NDQ:

  Thanks all for your input. I would like to not believe what Master Hsuan Hua said, but I heard he is known for his spiritual penetration and that he observed things in meditation that are beyond our grasp. Not sure if his statement about the remarried person was something he also saw in meditation or it's just something he believed in... The post below was something that bothered me.

  http://sgforums.com/forums/1728/topics/175866?page=2

   

  At times, in trying to put one’s certain meditative experiences in a verbal context can and do give rise to controversies especially when it cannot be proven. It is also something quite personal. In most instants, it needs the followers to accept such account as true with a great deal of faith involved.

   

  Maybe Master Hsuan Hua is right to point out that ‘If we say too many true things, people won’t believe us.’  I presume here, he is referring to this kind of meditative experiences. I believe most people who have acquired such supernormal power of Celestial Vision, Hearing, Knowing Others’ Minds and Past Lives would not usually come out to speak of such meditative experiences as it would be considered as just side 'benefits' or worst, a hindrance to one’s attaining Nibbana  if not handle in the right way.

   

• sinweiy

  30 Mar 13, 16:40

  Originally posted by NDQ:

  Thanks all for your input. I would like to not believe what Master Hsuan Hua said, but I heard he is known for his spiritual penetration and that he observed things in meditation that are beyond our grasp. Not sure if his statement about the remarried person was something he also saw in meditation or it's just something he believed in... The post below was something that bothered me.

  http://sgforums.com/forums/1728/topics/175866?page=2

  hah, that's my post there. 
  Dharmamitra had a lot of countless merit in his translation of dharma in the US (City of Ten Thousand Buddhas), but he had bad health. famous Ven Heng Sure was also one of the disciple follower.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heng_Sure

  i believe in the multiple bodies saying and i also believe Dharmamitra who said he had spiritual penetration . at my age, i am inbetween the traditional age and modern age. i know modern buddhists had their modern way of interpreting the dharma. if Master Hsuan Hua were in this age, i believe, his spiritual penetration will be different and according to this age. not that he's wrong, he's right in his time.

   

  境缘无好丑,好丑在于心 - Grand Master Oyi.
  

• The outside phenomena is neither good nor bad. All that's good or bad is generated from your afflicted mind/heart of attachment, dualism and wandering thoughts.
• 
  
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