Share Your Marriage Experience
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OMGGGGGOriginally posted by tare:yes lingos they still do tat... we are in sg u noe.....
So darn funny..
Aiyah better than my stupid proposal story.
Frigging i opened the box myself. -
from another forum which i copied and paste...
When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner,no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a high divorce rate , it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr/Ms Right!
If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love."
I believe this is the ...
#1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love (alone). Though this may sound not politically correct, there's a profound truth here. Love (alone) is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone. You need a lot more.
Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.
QUESTION #1: Do we share a common life purpose? Why is this so important? If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose. Two things can happen in a marriage. You can grow together, or you can grow apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life.
QUESTION #2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person? This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust! Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.
QUESTION #3: Is he/she a someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions. i) Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? ii) Are they serious about improving themselve. So, ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic?" Usually, a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement. There are essentially two types of people in the world: People who are dedicated to personal growth and people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing.
QUESTION #4: How does he/she treat other people? The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure. Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed? To measure this, think about the following: i) How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc? ii) How do they treat parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation? Do they show respect? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything, you cannot expect that they'll have gratitude for you - who can't do nearly as much for them! iii) Do they gossip and speak badly about others? Someone who gossips cannot be someone who loves others. You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.
QUESTION #5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married? Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve" them after they're married. You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse!" If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them. In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating, to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework.
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Tare, your proposal story was soooooooo hilarious!!
elindra, I know I've heard yours already but it was nice having details thrown in!
Poor Chris... I think he really chose a bad time!
X-men, you showed that you have romantic potential! hahaha! Good, good, your future girlfriend shall be very pleased! hehehe! -
elindra, we have so much in common - I think I'm the sort who will get really bored if the dating stage of a relationship drags on for far too long.Originally posted by elindra:
Mine ar.....I was getting bored with the relationship and he decided to tie me down
As long as I don't move on to the next stage I'll get bored and scoot
I will get restless and super bored too! -
Peppermint, thanks for sharing that. It was really thought-provoking!
I think when it's time for me to consider someone as a potential life partner, I will come back to this thread and read that post again.
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Originally posted by Rhonda:Peppermint, thanks for sharing that. It was really thought-provoking!
I think when it's time for me to consider someone as a potential life partner, I will come back to this thread and read that post again. 
u are welcome
whats your life goal ^^...cant seem to find a simple lady who is able to share my goals with me -
Is it me or is everyone desperate to settle down cos they want to escape from their parents?
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double post
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i noe! so far ALL who heard luff like siao... all except me....Originally posted by Rhonda:
Tare, your proposal story was soooooooo hilarious!! 
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Eh... this one definitely doesn't apply to me.Originally posted by Lingos:Is it me or is everyone desperate to settle down cos they want to escape from their parents? I 'escaped' from their clutches since I was 21! -
I love the article you shared soooo much that I can't help commenting on the bits that caught my attention!
Originally posted by Peppermint:
Choosing a life partner should never be based on love (alone). Though this may sound not politically correct, there's a profound truth here. Love (alone) is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone. You need a lot more. I can't agree more!
QUESTION #1: Do we share a common life purpose? Why is this so important? If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose. Two things can happen in a marriage. You can grow together, or you can grow apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life.
A lifetime IS a long time... and whilst you don't have to have similarities in EVERYTHING, I believe that intrinsically, when it comes to things like moral values, life goals, etc, you DO have to think on the same wavelength.
QUESTION #2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person? This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust! Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.
I really think that this is a very very important point. If you cannot speak freely and know that your partner will not immediately think the worst of you, you'll never be able to enjoy full trust with him/her.
Imagine if you're in a bad mood and you say something stupid like, 'My boss is the biggest idiot in the entire universe!' and instead of acknowledging that you had a bad day and just need to do some harmless venting, he/she starts to think, 'Wah... such a bad-tempered person!'
To be judged when you're just in one of your lousy moods (that'll pass) would be a real blow. Imagine having to say 'politically correct' things all the time, even when you're supposed to be at home - the place in the world where you're supposed to feel safest and most secure!
QUESTION #3: Is he/she a someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions. i) Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? ii) Are they serious about improving themselve. So, ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic?" Usually, a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement. There are essentially two types of people in the world: People who are dedicated to personal growth and people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing.
Aaahhh... this is a point that is very very important to me! To see someone working on personal growth. I've always felt that the mark of a good man would be his ability to take constructive criticisms, and his willingness to seek the advice / opinions of others. If a guy thinks too highly of his own views to the extent that he starts to take a hard stand and doesn't take others' viewpoint into account, I'd take that as a big danger sign. This means that he doesn't take kindly to advice and when trials come your way, which it will, he will be very very obstinate and unyielding.
Also, sloth and a general lack of desire to improve onself and explore new fields of interest, just doesn't cut it with me!
QUESTION #4: How does he/she treat other people? The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed? To measure this, think about the following: i) How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc? ii) How do they treat parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation? Do they show respect? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything, you cannot expect that they'll have gratitude for you - who can't do nearly as much for them! iii) Do they gossip and speak badly about others? Someone who gossips cannot be someone who loves others. You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.
QUESTION #5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married? If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them. In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating, to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework.
And this is why it is soooo important to me, that my close friends approve of my guy. They know me best, they want the best for me, and standing by the sidelines, they get to see things sharply whereas I might have blurred vision cause I might be seeing through rose-tinted glasses. It matters to me what people I love and respect would say about this guy.
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My life goal? Wow, that covers a lot of ground!Originally posted by Peppermint: u are welcome
whats your life goal ^^...cant seem to find a simple lady who is able to share my goals with me Specific questions would be easier to answer! hehe! -
maybe u can start a faq on yourself...Originally posted by Rhonda:My life goal? Wow, that covers a lot of ground! Specific questions would be easier to answer! hehe! or have a 'ask Rhonda q&a' and compile it into faq...;p
i wish to know what made u go into healthcare industry (hopefully i am correct on that part) -
Oh... actually, I've revealed snippets of it here and there in various threads all over Club 30.Originally posted by Peppermint:maybe u can start a faq on yourself... or have a 'ask Rhonda q&a' and compile it into faq...;p
i wish to know what made u go into healthcare industry (hopefully i am correct on that part)
Recently, I believe I wrote about this again, a rather lengthy post too! Lemme go find the url for you... I'm too lazy to write it all over again. hehe! Whilst I do not advocate sloth, I believe in an 'economy of effort'! 
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I'm happy with my parents.Originally posted by Lingos:Is it me or is everyone desperate to settle down cos they want to escape from their parents?
They're like my good friends
I just went with the flow of things
And Rhonda, the dialogue is pretty close to what he said
Well he thought it's a good date since the day is in between our birthdays
Come to think of it it's kinda cheapo of him Celebrate 2 birthday's and 1 proposal anniversary on the same day -
OK, there you go! The aforementioned post!
http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=137290 -
somehow...i feel at 'home' in club 30....and...i am not even 30....
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hehehe... Well, mighty glad that you feel that way!Originally posted by Peppermint:somehow...i feel at 'home' in club 30....and...i am not even 30....
I guess the fact that the bunch of us often gather in here to talk heart-to-heart kinda helps put like-minded folks at ease, doncha think? -
indeed indeed....its time for me to check out the old threads in club30Originally posted by Rhonda:hehehe... Well, mighty glad that you feel that way!
I guess the fact that the bunch of us often gather in here to talk heart-to-heart kinda helps put like-minded folks at ease, doncha think? -
Well, have fun doing so!Originally posted by Peppermint:indeed indeed....its time for me to check out the old threads in club30 And feel free to post your comments too! -
share?Originally posted by Lingos:OMGGGGG
So darn funny..
Aiyah better than my stupid proposal story.
Frigging i opened the box myself. -
Goes like this....Originally posted by shinta:share?
You know he asked infront of his family right. For goodness sake, this guy cannot do anything without his parents or something.
Anyway he hid it in the bathroom. ..... everyone had their presents and i was the last to get mine from him. He runs off.. everyone is like.. yeah yeah a Gucci shopping bag, that's normal. Then I'm like.. WTF.
He struggled to say anything, he's like you know we've been together for a long time. (his mum and sister starts crying in excitement).. I'm thinking.. omg i didn't drive here, how can i get out.
Meanwhile his hands shake so much and you know how boutiques wrap their stuff up.. ribbons upon ribbons and lots of tissue packaged inside. The box was wrapped too and had another cardboard box. I'm like.. ripping it up myself cos he was shaking. And i opened the box.. and i said.. Oh no no no this ring is too small. I cannot wear it... maybe on my little finger. -
i`m really sorry but u`ve given me such an opinion of youOriginally posted by Lingos:Goes like this....
You know he asked infront of his family right. For goodness sake, this guy cannot do anything without his parents or something.
Anyway he hid it in the bathroom. ..... everyone had their presents and i was the last to get mine from him. He runs off.. everyone is like.. yeah yeah a Gucci shopping bag, that's normal. Then I'm like.. WTF.
He struggled to say anything, he's like you know we've been together for a long time. (his mum and sister starts crying in excitement).. I'm thinking.. omg i didn't drive here, how can i get out.
Meanwhile his hands shake so much and you know how boutiques wrap their stuff up.. ribbons upon ribbons and lots of tissue packaged inside. The box was wrapped too and had another cardboard box. I'm like.. ripping it up myself cos he was shaking. And i opened the box.. and i said.. Oh no no no this ring is too small. I cannot wear it... maybe on my little finger.
i feel that u`re not really satisfied w ur man
sry to the mods for pouring cold water to this thread
but i feel that since u`ve not really accepted ur hubby for wat he was, why choose to marry him and grunt so much abt him??
i`ve encountered a number of post from you
seems that most of the time u`ve been putting ur husband down, and guys in general,
haf u had previous bad experiences that made you like that?
please wake up for goodness gracious.. -
OOh i'm famous in this forum. BTW i'm not married.Originally posted by BaByBoY:i`m really sorry but u`ve given me such an opinion of you
i feel that u`re not really satisfied w ur man
sry to the mods for pouring cold water to this thread
but i feel that since u`ve not really accepted ur hubby for wat he was, why choose to marry him and grunt so much abt him??
i`ve encountered a number of post from you
seems that most of the time u`ve been putting ur husband down, and guys in general,
haf u had previous bad experiences that made you like that?
please wake up for goodness gracious..
Well how bout you guys stop putting women down..
Women cannot parrallel park, women cannot drive, women cannot whatever. Women are so cheap sometimes, just give themselves away. I'm tired of reading threads from egotistical men saying they can do whatever they want but want possession of their women.
That settled.. you might find that in real life, we're all different and no i'm not a nasty bItch to him in real life. In fact, he is very well taken care off. -
please get ur facts rite??Originally posted by Lingos:OOh i'm famous in this forum. BTW i'm not married.
Well how bout you guys stop putting women down..
Women cannot parrallel park, women cannot drive, women cannot whatever. Women are so cheap sometimes, just give themselves away. I'm tired of reading threads from egotistical men saying they can do whatever they want but want possession of their women.
That settled.. you might find that in real life, we're all different and no i'm not a nasty bItch to him in real life. In fact, he is very well taken care off.
it`s always poeple like you that get the wrong facts and brag all about it???
YOU GUYS YOU GUYS!!
please do a through search since when had i put women down???
you do haf exactly the same amplitude as the guys who put women down
it`s the sterotyping problem that YOU haf against guys in general..
at least i don mistake gal for GALS..
i can easily identify YOUR problem with guys and not GAL`s problem with guy,
if you understand me at all
i`mnot trying to pick a fight outta nowhere,
but please get ur facts right
not all guys are jerks, neither not all women cant drive ( i nv said tt in the 1st place thou )