Five Ways to Kill A Man...
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Five Ways to Kill a Man, by Edwin Brock
There are many cumbersome ways to kill a man.
You can make him carry a plank of wood
to the top of a hill and nail him to it.
To do this properly you require a crowd of people
wearing sandals, a cock that crows, a cloak
to dissect, a sponge, some vinegar and one
man to hammer the nails home.
Or you can take a length of steel,
shaped and chased in a traditional way,
and attempt to pierce the metal cage he wears.
But for this you need white horses,
English trees, men with bows and arrows,
at least two flags, a prince, and a
castle to hold your banquet in.
Dispensing with nobility, you may, if the wind
allows, blow gas at him. But then you need
a mile of mud sliced through with ditches,
not to mention black boots, bomb craters,
more mud, a plague of rats, a dozen songs
and some round hats made of steel.
In an age of aeroplanes, you may fly
miles above your victim and dispose of him by
pressing one small switch. All you then
require is an ocean to separate you, two
systems of government, a nation's scientists,
several factories, a psychopath and
land that no-one needs for several years.
These are, as I began, cumbersome ways to kill a man.
Simpler, direct, and much more neat is to see
that he is living somewhere in the middle
of the twentieth century, and leave him there.
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teaching shinta ways to kill a man in under a minute?
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u left out the most obvious n most popular way a woman can kill a man....
NAG NAG NAG NAG NAG NAG NAG NAG!!!!!!!!!!!!! -
Originally posted by hisoka:teaching shinta ways to kill a man in under a minute?
too bad i dun understand -
Originally posted by skeujin:u left out the most obvious n most popular way a woman can kill a man....
NAG NAG NAG NAG NAG NAG NAG NAG!!!!!!!!!!!!! -
*laff till pengz*Originally posted by skeujin:u left out the most obvious n most popular way a woman can kill a man....
NAG NAG NAG NAG NAG NAG NAG NAG!!!!!!!!!!!!! -
Originally posted by skeujin:u left out the most obvious n most popular way a woman can kill a man....
NAG NAG NAG NAG NAG NAG NAG NAG!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But hmm... that method is too slow leh! The man can survive for donkey years using this method! -
he meant to say, kill a man's sex driveOriginally posted by Rhonda:
But hmm... that method is too slow leh! The man can survive for donkey years using this method! -
torture him longer mah, make him suffer moreOriginally posted by Rhonda:
But hmm... that method is too slow leh! The man can survive for donkey years using this method! -
u can aggrevate the suffering with the following actions....Originally posted by Rhonda:
But hmm... that method is too slow leh! The man can survive for donkey years using this method!
buy more shoes
tell him u jus wana b like his mother
buy more clothes
ask him if yr fat
insist tt he should b a vegetarian
buy more handbags
make the only alcholic drink he can consume b shandy
startg getg him pink colored clothes
name his dick -
Hehe that's a nice yet sad poem, thanks for posting Rhonda.
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You can kill a man through his -
wallet
heart
ego
independence
hope -
oh yes i just remebered one more way a guy can be killed.Originally posted by choco B:Hehe that's a nice yet sad poem, thanks for posting Rhonda.
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You can kill a man through his -
wallet
heart
ego
independence
hope
with regards to the modern woman....
she can poison him by tryg to cook his dinner.... -
This method may be slow. But it's sure to work. Unless the man is deafOriginally posted by Rhonda:
But hmm... that method is too slow leh! The man can survive for donkey years using this method! -
Biangz, choco and skeujin, you two are really too kind, killing a man softly and gently and over a long period!
If I had to kill a man, I'd resort to the following methods :
- Poisons
- Toxins
- Drugs
OK, I'd better stop joking liao... otherwise skali some govt body happens to be monitoring this site and comes kicking my door down and dragging me away! -
Death by poisoning has had a glorious and respectable past
We should be so proud to continue the tradition.Originally posted by skeujin:oh yes i just remebered one more way a guy can be killed.
with regards to the modern woman....
she can poison him by tryg to cook his dinner.... -
But the survivor rate for this method is too high liao!!Originally posted by Croaking_Toad:This method may be slow. But it's sure to work. Unless the man is deaf
Wanna do, must be quick and sudden, as well as undetectable! -
as i said... jus cook for him....Originally posted by Rhonda:Biangz, choco and skeujin, you two are really too kind, killing a man softly and gently and over a long period!
If I had to kill a man, I'd resort to the following methods :
- Poisons
- Toxins
- Drugs
OK, I'd better stop joking liao... otherwise skali some govt body happens to be monitoring this site and comes kicking my door down and dragging me away! -
Ah.... but why only kill a man, when you can also break him in the process ?
Originally posted by Rhonda:Biangz, choco and skeujin, you two are really too kind, killing a man softly and gently and over a long period! -
You laugh about my cooking?! *rolls up sleeves...Originally posted by skeujin:as i said... jus cook for him....
I shall now demonstrate one way to kill a man... skin him alive!! -
Yes, using acupuncture
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at least some some commitement by poisoning us w fine dining instead of instant mee...Originally posted by choco B:Death by poisoning has had a glorious and respectable past We should be so proud to continue the tradition. -
Originally posted by skeujin:as i said... jus cook for him....
her cooking that bad?? -
a true sadist....Originally posted by choco B:Ah.... but why only kill a man, when you can also break him in the process ?
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no la im definatly not laughg.....Originally posted by Rhonda:You laugh about my cooking?! *rolls up sleeves...
I shall now demonstrate one way to kill a man... skin him alive!!
im terrified of it... -
u said it!!!! i didnt...Originally posted by hisoka:
her cooking that bad??
if im not wrng. bout 80% of sg females from ages 15yrs to 45yrs of age. wen they say they wana cook for u. the question will be in this context.
"do you want egg in your instant mee?"