To have, or not to have kids? What's your take?
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Ok, since Rhonda started one on Singapore being overpopulated, what are your views on having a kid/kids in Singapore?
Is the standard of living an issue or you just love kids so much that you will take one step at a time. Or you just don't want to sacrifice your current lifestyle for a kid?
What about other concerns if any? Like the way kids behave these days etc.
On my end, I would prefer not to have a kid now (maybe in future because SO wants one) as I'm not ready for the sacrifices I have to make as a mother and also, I just enjoy the freedom I have now and not having to worry for another person.
Honestly, if SO doesn't like kids, I don't even think I want one.
Why? If I'm going to stay in Singapore forever, the competition and everything is making me wonder if this is even a good environment for kids to grow up in. Because, the rat race starts in school and not the workplace and there is no natural spaces for them to play in as well.
On top of that, there is the financial burden to carry. We consider ourselves middle income and having a kid really reduces our current quality of life.
These are my feelings on having a kid in Singapore. The so-called benefits given by the government is really not attractive for me to want to have a kid. If the corporate world widely practices things (not limited to certain companies) like flexi-hours, on-site childcare etc then maybe I would consider having a kid.
Meantime, we will just see how things goes -
yang gou bi jiao hao
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if dont want kids, why get married in the first place?
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Aiya kopi can say something more than your "yang gou bi jiao hao"Originally posted by kopiosatu:yang gou bi jiao hao -
tho having a child is so expensive...future expenses also have to be taken into account..
but i still insist that having kids is gd leh..
A child is a gift from heaven. One should feel blessed being able to have his/her own child. -
so can apply HDB flats??Originally posted by InnoHippo:if dont want kids, why get married in the first place? -
getting married don't mean must have kidsOriginally posted by InnoHippo:if dont want kids, why get married in the first place?
you get have kids before getting married too
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It's not about attractive bonus. It's about calculating. The bonus they give you will be used up sooner or later because of this tax and that tax. Even when you minus taxes, the cost of bringing up a child isn't cheap.
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Next stage after BGR.Originally posted by InnoHippo:if dont want kids, why get married in the first place? -
For me its very simple. I just ask myself 2 questions:
1. Will I be able to afford to retire comfortably if I support a child(or two) all the way to university?
2. Do I really want my children to grow up in this enivronment(Singapore)?
Answer to 1 is maybe, but it will seriously fuck up my standard of living and quality of life.
Answer to 2 is a definite no.
So no, I am never having kids. -
Trust you to come up with this. Anyway, I guess that it's a modern world, that's why people do such things. But I still prefer to go by the traditions.Originally posted by elindra:getting married don't mean must have kids
you get have kids before getting married too 
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Originally posted by elindra:getting married don't mean must have kids
you get have kids before getting married too 
i want the woman i love to bear my children ......
but i want the woman i lust to remain child-less -
Originally posted by InnoHippo:
i want the woman i love to bear my children ......
but i want the woman i lust to remain child-less 
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hahah, because that's how i really feel.Originally posted by elindra:Aiya kopi can say something more than your "yang gou bi jiao hao"
a kid in the current world isn't much of a bundle of joy. its a liability! or investment, depending on how u make em grow. -
Hmm... if given free choice in the matter, I will choose NOT to have kids if I'm remaining in Singapore.
Key reasons being stress, cost and lifestyle.
Stress... Not talking about my stress but rather, referring to the high stress levels kids face whilst growing up here. This is an extremely competitive society with parents wanting their kids to come up tops not just in their studies, but also in extracurricular activities.
Kids are meant to grow up and develp at their pace and at a young age, I wouldn't like them to have to worry about writing essays, Ting1 Xie3, etc. Nosiree!! Not right! And after school these days, they're given tons of homework. Not to mention, quite a lot of kids have tuition, remedial classes and extra-curricular activities too, right after school.
That doesn't seem to be a kid's life - it sounds more like a mini-adult's kinda life complete with the stress and pressure to excel!
And, it's also stressful for parents, cause I remember my ex-colleagues grumbling about the homework being so difficult, when they return home, they have to tutor their kids. Or teachers being control freaks and they have to scout around for specific kinds of files in specific colours for their kids group work, or worse, they complain about going home and more or less 'doing' the kids' project work for them cause it's way too difficult for their kids to handle.
I'm NOT going to do schoolwork after returning home from work, nosiree!! You can drag me kicking and screaming to the table... and I'd STILL be kicking and screaming!
COST... it sure ain't cheap to raise a kid these days! Everything is rising in costs and everyone is experiencing a drop in real income.
My generation was kinda dumb... Bata shoes were the norm and nobody ever thought about 'style' and 'fashion' because everyone was gwai gwai toot toot. Now, it's sneakers, and branded ones too, no less!
Mom, I need a new schoolbag! *ka-ching!! Mom, I need to buy textbooks! *ka-ching!! Mom, my sneakers aren't nice anymore... I want what Bobby's wearing! *ka-ching!!!
And oh, son, can you skip your next two meals cause mom bo lwee liao!
Don't forget too, it isn't just ourselves and the kids we have to support - there's the matter of ageing parents, unemployed siblings, and what-not as well!
Lifestyle... if you have a kid, your already stretched lifestyle will take a further dip.
On another spectrum, kids expect more these days and they'll go around comparing with their mini Joneses and want to keep up with them.
Entertainment is costly, well, everything is, tell me what's cheap these days?
So anyways, if you're earning well, good. If not, your own lifestyle will also be affected.
I just cannot imagine slaving away at work just to have a hand-to-mouth existence with the craziness starting every month with the never-ending heaps of bills to pay, then coming home and doing the housework and the kiddo's project work or tuitioning him, and then taking care of elderly parents and/or parents-in-laws needs, and then feeling like you're on the verge of a grand mal burn-out but you can't cause you cannot handle yet another hospital bill...
Craziness! And it's a brand of craziness I'd opt to do without, thank you! -
/me humtum hippo!!!Originally posted by InnoHippo:
i want the woman i love to bear my children ......
but i want the woman i lust to remain child-less
wahlew not afraid ur ai ai will see this ar? -
Love and companionship.Originally posted by InnoHippo:if dont want kids, why get married in the first place?
Wei... get married MUST have kids one meh? I don't remember being born to be a reproduction machine wor! -
Sometimes, singles are struggling already!Originally posted by ndmmxiaomayi:It's not about attractive bonus. It's about calculating. The bonus they give you will be used up sooner or later because of this tax and that tax. Even when you minus taxes, the cost of bringing up a child isn't cheap. I cannot imagine having to support another for the next two and a half decades, at least!
*peng sanz!!! -
ok let auntie try to answer k....Originally posted by elindra:Ok, since Rhonda started one on Singapore being overpopulated, what are your views on having a kid/kids in Singapore?
ppl don't just stay put in Singapore, i think the future gen will be flying all over the place, so don't hv to be too wory..where there is a grass there is way (translate from hokkien) .
Is the standard of living an issue or you just love kids so much that you will take one step at a time. Or you just don't want to sacrifice your current lifestyle for a kid?
umm sacrifice...err i think really depend on how u see kids, if hv kids is cos its not wat u want then its a sacrifice...err i will say its just some adjustment to suit changes in life...its like someone who found out he/she has high cholesterol, need to change eating style for the good of himself...bad example??
recently i came across one article, saying if only if don't hv kids i can do this and that...can't rem the content liao...maybe if someone has that, can put it here....
u must hv the kids then u can really feel for yourself the joy and gladness for the decision to hv them....the joy of bringing them up is really worth the adj in lifestyle...actually only the first few yrs u are more tied down...when they are really...there are also many things like going for sports etc with them...but of course not pubbing life lah....
What about other concerns if any? Like the way kids behave these days etc.
take it a challenge bah....actually if parents maintain close bonding and teaching values from young, there are still many good/well behave kids around..maybe these we don't see cos they don't frequent eg shopping etc all the time.....i m not saying they are studying all the time hor....just that they could be not loud hence we don't notice...
On my end, I would prefer not to have a kid now (maybe in future because SO wants one) as I'm not ready for the sacrifices I have to make as a mother and also, I just enjoy the freedom I have now and not having to worry for another person.
Honestly, if SO doesn't like kids, I don't even think I want one.
nevertheless, couples must be mentally prepared to hv kids else if after having and find themselved being boiled down...can be stressful for kids and parents...
anyway its a very personal issue....as long as both agrees....
Why? If I'm going to stay in Singapore forever, the competition and everything is making me wonder if this is even a good environment for kids to grow up in. Because, the rat race starts in school and not the workplace and there is no natural spaces for them to play in as well.
actually rats race also partially contributed by parents....if u get to know some u will know....so its like they say its us, we say its them (MOE) contributing...well....well....
then again, parents if willing to put in some efforts, kids can be relief of some rat race stress...studying is the key but not everything....
On top of that, there is the financial burden to carry. We consider ourselves middle income and having a kid really reduces our current quality of life.
These are my feelings on having a kid in Singapore. The so-called benefits given by the government is really not attractive for me to want to have a kid. If the corporate world widely practices things (not limited to certain companies) like flexi-hours, on-site childcare etc then maybe I would consider having a kid.
Meantime, we will just see how things goes -
the first line is the truth .....Originally posted by browniebaobao:/me humtum hippo!!!
wahlew not afraid ur ai ai will see this ar?
the next line is the joke lah -
A long essay, and shall do what my friend did, I don't fancy reading such a long essay.Originally posted by Rhonda:Mom, I need a new schoolbag! *ka-ching!! Mom, I need to buy textbooks! *ka-ching!! Mom, my sneakers aren't nice anymore... I want what Bobby's wearing! *ka-ching!!!
And oh, son, can you skip your next two meals cause mom bo lwee liao!
You sound as if you are those cash producing machines.
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The problem with not reading the whole message but just piecemeal, is that you get this kinda totally inaccurate perceptions!Originally posted by ndmmxiaomayi:A long essay, and shall do what my friend did, I don't fancy reading such a long essay.
You sound as if you are those cash producing machines.
So, best thing is, don't read, don't comment lor, otherwise, will get things wrong one! -
2.5 decades later, no need half child already. Either over age or in risky mama club.Originally posted by Rhonda:Sometimes, singles are struggling already! I cannot imagine having to support another for the next two and a half decades, at least!
*peng sanz!!! -
words of wisdomOriginally posted by a_splash:ok let auntie try to answer k....
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haha.. u better dun luan lai.Originally posted by InnoHippo:the first line is the truth .....
the next line is the joke lah