Sticks and stones may break their bones...
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... but names will hurt them deeper than you know.
Imagine getting shouted at in the middle of a crowded restaurant... over something silly as spilling your drink. Was at lunch earlier, and this 'lady' was screaming at her kid because he spilled some of his drink. For goodness sakes... if she's too skint to get him something from the children's menu, can he really be blamed for not being able to hold her adult sized glass in his tiny hands?
We don't like being told off in public... what makes people (read: parents) think that their kids would like it too? Just because they may be young, and therefore deemed to still be oblivious to their 'emotions' - does not mean that admonishing the children in public would not have any effects on the child. Worse still - I think it just makes the parents look extremely boorish and uncouth.
I'm not saying that we should not educate the kids either, but I'm sure there are better ways to tell them that something they've done is wrong and make them understand why it's so; rather than yelling at them on top of one's voice and triggering just fear in the child.
I get really really pissed when parents feel it necessary to berate or spank their child in public. Some parents don't think twice about yelling at their kids at the top of their voices in public. I don't know... but to me, a public humiliation as such, even to very young children, DO NOT do anything to the state of their mental growth and well-being. And what IS the purpose of doing so, anyhow?
Some parents say worse things than just "stupid". They say things like : "You are such a naughty idiot, why are you so stupid? *whack, slap* You dare to do it again? Go on... I dare you!!*spank, shake* You don't have any brains, is it?" Believe me... these are just some of the mild variety.
I've worked in restaurants whereby the clientele is mostly Caucasians - and I would have to say that when it comes to their "punishment handling" they are very lax as compared to their Asian counterparts. Of course, this is a generalisation... but it is a fact that the Chinese are usually "very loud" people. Don't get me wrong... this may be a stereotype at best, but to some, it has become their way of life, and they do not see anything wrong with it. Spare the rod and spoil the child - you may say, but the most fundamental thing is where we draw the line.
Sometimes I just wish that parents would realise that at that personable young age, whatever that their elders do / say are ingrained into their constantly curious and absorbing mind. If they were constantly berated and said to be: stupid, dumb, idiot, silly, slow... they are apt to feel that they probably are. This may then cause them to have a low self-esteem or may even turn them into introverts.
There are many ways to educate a child; and no one can say what is truly right or wrong... especially when different kids with different personalities need to be handled in the way best suited to them. Such "derogatory name-calling", however, is truly uncalled for. -
I didnt read the passage coz i lazy but i like this sentence
Sticks and stones may break their bones but names will hurt them deeper than you know -
my high school principle once said on verbal bullying "Stick & Stones may break my bones, but words will cut even deeper".
how true it was. Often one may have said words that can cut hearts to pieces unintentionally. -
spare the rod and spoil the child
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as I have mentioned in the text above:Originally posted by Master -_-:spare the rod and spoil the child
But I don't blame you for having missed that. That post was too damn long, perhaps.Originally posted by BabyRS:Spare the rod and spoil the child - you may say, but the most fundamental thing is where we draw the line.
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the psychological impact of it...totally damaging.
it could damage the kid for life
and yeah, i heard that if you call someone something like stupid all the time, the person eventually becomes stupid.
something like that.
the person would probably be convined that he/she is stupid anyways
sigh...
i guess parents use this as a way to get the kid to behave because...who wants to be embarrassed in public?? -
wow... i cant even see it at second glanceOriginally posted by BabyRS:But I don't blame you for having missed that. That post was too damn long, perhaps. 
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Originally posted by Master -_-:wow... i cant even see it at second glance don't even go there... I can try to post longerer.
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I dont know, but I am absolutely against any stance that tries to pin teenage or kids problems..on kids themselves. You will hear people go "Oh dear, kids nowadays yada yada" and proceed in the most pompous way, describe the 1001 stuff they would 'do' to their kids or to the bunch of kids out there.
I have always believe that any problem caused by kids eventually have its roots in the parents or the society. If the society believes in killing for revenge and justice is executed by holding a quick trial in the town square, eventually you will see pictures of weapon toting kids or protests joined by kids who have no clue why they are there for.
Similarly, if a kid is spoilt, parents have to be blamed, partly or wholly, for indulging their kids or neglecting them.
When I read that there is an idea of getting police to monitor kids hanging around after 11pm, there has to be something really wrong with parents already. Why the police has to become nannies suddenly?