
Godzilla to Attack Singapore Next
Posted on Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Topic: Local News
by Kway Png
Following the blackouts, floods and internet disruption over the past week, Singaporeans are betting that they will next be attacked by Godzilla.
“Wah lau eh,” said Bukit Gorblok resident Ker Nah Sai, in a typical response to an informal TalkingCock poll conducted at the kopi tiam below our office. “Flood lah, blackout lah, cutting off communications lah… I really wen be surprised if we kena hit by a meteor or Godzilla attacks us.”
“Godzilla?” added fellow coffee drinker Lim Koh Pee. “We oreddy got plenty of dinosaurs wrecking the country. We elected them a few months back, mah.”
However, the ruling People’s Action Party said they were taking action against all the recent disruptions. Said spokesman Gerry Mandhir, “As our name suggests, we are all about action. When Singaporeans mention us, they always say we’re very action. “
According to Mr. Mandhir, the first action they will take is to blame things on another country, and then silence everyone criticizing them for drawing first world salaries while failing to be sufficiently prepared for third world disasters.
In semi-related news, the internet disruption has led to families finally spending time with each other, lower blood pressure amongst subscribers to the Straits Times Interactive, and people having real sex for a change. The Gahmen has pledged to return things to normal ‘as soon as possible’.
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