KNOW your 'friend' VICIOUSKITTY74 -
As much as I agree that it might not be advisable for outsiders to intervent with ISSUES between ME (Devil1976) and 'viciouskitty74'. I think it's ONLY WISE for people to know what's really happening and only FAIR for the other 'friends' of hers to be WARNED of her BEHAVIOURS...
It all started from this thread in AA
http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=235871&page=1.
Where she gave an inappropriate 'advice' on how to deal with people who might really be facing SERIOUS PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEM through this:
Originally posted by viciouskitty74:
[b]Its kinda silly actually.
People does that because they want to generate attention to themself.
When you are sardonic and respond instead with indifference & a good single sentence that makes them pay attention to how they will lose that attention. These gals will stop.
from the: "Oh, you got scars on your hands. accident or cut yourself?"
to the: "Well, too bad then, with those scars, you can never be a actress, air stewardess, model or even employed for most high flying jobs liao. Too bad, considering you look so pretty and can go far in any industries".
Works everytime.....except to those that is already dead. 
[/quote][/b]
When people started to critisize her, she was still arrogant, stubborn and indifference in her responses.
After MANY debates, these 2 responses are from closely related 'professions':
Originally posted by Gedanken:
[b]Hmm. I've read through the linked thread and it's, um, interesting.
Speaking not only as a practicing psychologist but as someone who's worked with abused children for years, I'll come at this from a practicioner's perspective.
I agree with kitty that textbook answers don't really offer much help. However, generalising from personal experiences is precipitous as well, and if the person you're trying to help thinks you're being ignorant, you'll be shoved well behind square one.
The fact is that the motivation for self-harm varies on a case-by-case basis. Yes, some people are just drama queens, and in such cases an REBT approach, such as kitty's SIA girl example, might work. On the other hand, REBT, when used in the wrong situation, can lead to things going pear-shaped very rapidly. For that matter, any approach used in the wrong context will produce detrimental results.
This leads to the point that, as a rule, any competent practicioner would know to perform some proper fact-finding before attempting to generate solutions. Self-harm (or any observed behaviour) is only the symptom, not the problem itself. Fix one symptom and another will pop up to take its place.
The underlying problem also dictates how effective the solution is. The DSM-IV (the diagnostic bible) lists self-harm as a diagnostic criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder. A BPD person would be highly unlikely to have any interest in being a flying waitress for SIA, or any other airline for that matter.
The bottom line is that what's good for the goose is not always good for the gander, and jumping off the mark to close one door isn't going to do any good if the rest of the building's on fire. You always need to make a point to find out what's going on before offering solutions - doing so too early is just a waste of time.
Anyway, for what it's worth (about a hundred bucks by the reckoning of the APS), that's a professional's take on this debate.
[/b]
Originally posted by udontknowme:
[b]THE FOLLOWING POST MIGHT BE TRIGGERING!!!
ok. no matter what the reason is, DO NOT scold them or call them stupid or stuff like that. even if they are doing it cos they think it is 'cool'. chances are, you calling them stuff like that will only piss them off and they will cut more.
and if they are depressed, all the more you cannot scold them or yell at them or call them stupid. the best advice i can give is to show that you care about them and that if you feel that you can deal with it, let them know that you are there for them should they need any help and that they can come and talk to you. if they do not wish to discuss about their cutting but other stuff. just let them talk. a lot of these people just need and want someone who care to listen to them. of course, there are those whom you KNOW cut but hide the cuts. do NOT go up to them to demand to see their cuts or go up to them and the first thing you mention is cuts. try to talk to see if they have any problems. let them know that you feel that they are upset or whatever and that you are concerned. some may respond well. other may just ask you to fark off and shut up or something. if that happens, do NOT pester them. let them be. you may want to try talking to them another time...
of course, there is a lot more to just this. but im not going to write a thosand word post on this...
i have interracted and discussed this topic with a hundred odd people for the past 5 years. so this post of mine will be coming froma cutter's point of view. how they feel and how they want to be treated.
the truth is that CUTTING REALLY DOES HELP! some people want to feel as though they are in control of the pain they feel. (trust me what you are depressed, you are in A LOT of physical emotional and mental pain. it feels as though you hurt inside outside and around you as a friend of mine said)
also, people who cut ARE NOT ALWAYS SUICIDAL! a lot of times when people die by cutting, its an accident. they accidentally cut too deep.
this topic may seem like a small thing. but it IS a VERY complicated thing. i can write a 5000 word essay on this and it still wont cover everything.
care and concern. thats really what you can do...[/b]
She went on to accuse me of using my power as a Moderator. And started topics on the below:
Are the moderators here certified?What happens when moderators arent what they seem?What is a magistrate complaint.I think those topics are simply self-explanatory and you people can easily tell what kinda person 'viciouskitty74' really is from there. Apart from what she's trying to be in front of you.
What I really wanna 'warn' you people about is that, I USED to be a 'friend' of viciouskitty74 too. Until she decided to go on ALL PERSONAL ATTACKs which started based on the trivial 'stubborn inappropriate comment' of hers mentioned at this start of this post. At that time when we were still friends, she was ALSO going 'PERSONAL' with MCSquare. Another MOD in AA. Viciouskitty74 was trying to find out more about MCSquare from me:
[quote]Originally posted by viciouskitty74:
[b]
Kid is a typical young man of Singapore.
good relaxed life and serving his NSF without a real idea what real conflict is about.
tries to be macho, not very sensitive to others, but very sensitive to himself.
the typical, I cannot say sorry kind even if he is wrong.
I challenged him for his superiors ID. He dont dare to give.
i challenged him to a face to face. he just try to pretend he is gentleman and wont borther to meet me kind.
In size, i lose him. in mind, I do not. Not something he can deal with. not ever until he learns the hard part of life.[/b]
Originally posted by viciouskitty74:
Lets just say, when it comes to really facing up to real fire power, he still dont have it in him yet. In another sense, until he grows his legal sense or learn to accept that he is legally responsible for what he is typing online...I cannot allow for a moderator, with just a gung ho attitude and a NS stint in the KINS unit get away with being ignorant when he in some way represent the SPF.
I didnt start up in the internet just being who I am now. It took me 6 years to grow with the internet also. Used to host certain un-mentionables elsewhere.
he may have depth, sorry, I do not see it yet. Definitely not what I am used to seeing from the ones I am hanging out wth. He got potential but a lot more learning to do. he is just to me: Still a babe.
And power, no matter in real life or internet, changes people to a weirdo faster then speeding bullet. I've been thru that stage.
Anyway, keep the Aunt Agony Forum to that, a Aunt Agony. Let the ones with the troubles get the right help. Please do not let it deteriote into something only the teenagers find solace in the same advise they only know how to give base on their limited experience. Its like telling the Ah Bengs to stay with the Ah Bengs?
In actual fact. MCSquare is NOT the only person she had tried to find out more from me to 'get personal' with. More of the examples above are in my PM mailbox.
Forumites. This is my WARNING to you. You can choose to take it or leave it. Your OWN RISK to BEAR.
GOOD LUCK?
