Club 30's "Kill The Boredom Demon" Jive Pad, 79th Edition
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Originally posted by Fatum:
no ... that's for me ....
I was surfing the mail order brides webbies the other day ..
for 15k I can settle all the ceremonies and formalities and find myself married over a weekend ...
Fatum.... you are THAT desperate?
You're younger than I am :x
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Originally posted by elindra:
That's because women in the first world know there is more to life than getting married and having kids :PAnd they are also aware of the environmental impact of having kids
And they also start thinking that if the world we are in is already so tough and so polluted... won't it be worse for the kids?
Plus, work and other commitments take up lots of time :P
Precisely!!
Some folks say not having kids is selfish. But having kids can be selfish, esp if you look at people's reasons for having kids.
- Because it's a natural thing to do after marriage , ie. marriage life is getting boring and we needed a distraction or to 'move on' to the next stage;
- Because we want a family, WHY? Because we are afraid of growing old and alone with no kids to support us;
- Because I love kids. Therefore I want kids because it satisfies my love of kids and makes me happy; etc etc
All are selfish reasons. Real lovers of kids are those who will still choose to have kids despite not reaping ANY benefits from the whole exercise.
Reminds me of this article in last Sunday's papers that said that a study has exposed dog lovers to be selfish people because they keep dogs basically to satisfy their own needs and wants and that true dog lovers are those who will pick up dogs in distress off the streets, or select the uglier abandoned dogs, etc just because they love dogs, period.
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Originally posted by Rhonda:
Some factors you can't overcome.
Mom told me something at the start of this year that kinda spooked me. She refused to give me details, but when I told her that this year seems to be much smoother for me and that the past few years had been utterly suay, she said, "Yeah, I know. I was also told that you will undergo a horrible time the past few years but that this year will be the start of great changes." I was a bit shocked!! I pressed her for details, and she said that she had gone to 'someone' to have my fortune told. I think the fortune teller must have told her to go easy on me too because I would have been shouldering a burden that's hard to bear and I could have been easily pushed over the limit, so no wonder, for the past two years or so, she had been extremely gentle with me, unlike her usual style.
Thing is, she never told me all this until it had all passed. Unknowingly, to some extent, our future may already have been charted.
I think unless one is an atheist, it's hard to believe that everything in the future lies in our hands alone.
yes, maybe our futures are...charted... as in.. like maybe if u stopped schooling at say, N levels, maybe u r gonna be stuck in jobs like sales, retail, admin, etc.
But the CHOICE of taking our lives in own hands is still with us. An example would be as in the above, but then taking a course and getting higher paid jobs or entering into businesses and hope it takes off.
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Originally posted by Fatum:
no ... that's for me ....
I was surfing the mail order brides webbies the other day ..
for 15k I can settle all the ceremonies and formalities and find myself married over a weekend ...
huai were u surfing...there
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Originally posted by elindra:
Fatum.... you are THAT desperate?
You're younger than I am :x
nah ... just jaded ..... and a little bit bitter, that's all ...
nothing a few beers won't cure, no worries ...
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Originally posted by Rhonda:
Precisely!!
Some folks say not having kids is selfish. But having kids can be selfish, esp if you look at people's reasons for having kids.
- Because it's a natural thing to do after marriage , ie. marriage life is getting boring and we needed a distraction or to 'move on' to the next stage;
- Because we want a family, WHY? Because we are afraid of growing old and alone with no kids to support us;
- Because I love kids. Therefore I want kids because it satisfies my love of kids and makes me happy; etc etc
All are selfish reasons. Real lovers of kids are those who will still choose to have kids despite not reaping ANY benefits from the whole exercise.
Reminds me of this article in last Sunday's papers that said that a study has exposed dog lovers to be selfish people because they keep dogs basically to satisfy their own needs and wants and that true dog lovers are those who will pick up dogs in distress off the streets, or select the uglier abandoned dogs, etc just because they love dogs, period.
Ya lor
It's the natural thing to have kids after marriage is pure bollocks too
Just because everyone is doing that in the past, doesn't mean you have to do it too
Yeah and the growing old thingy is pure bollocks too
It would be a miracle if I don't have to support the child when I'm old -_-"
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whatever happened to ...dearling ?
or shld i be asking =x
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gonna go check on patches ....
and then give one of my clients a call ....
you guys play nice ....
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Originally posted by elindra:
It would be a miracle if I don't have to support the child when I'm old -_-"
teh horrors ! teh horrors !
>.<""""!
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Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:
that's the thing - at first I could not tell the difference.i.e. taking the cricket example - i have no interest in cricket.. and I would DEFINITELY not bend over to just please a boyfriend or a husband.
But I guess compromise means, if he really wants to go to a game, I would accompany him if he wants me to. But initially I would refuse to do even such things that cos I held on to my independence a lot. I enjoy doing things on my own and found it hard to see why he needs company to do some things I don't like to do.
Hehehe! I guess it was just us interpreting the term 'bend over backwards' differently.
I think if God forbid, my next boyfriend suay suay happens to love cricket, then bo bian, I will ask him questions about it, and try not to fall asleep and have my infamous micro-sleep sessions when he's droning on and on about it.
But I will stop at attending the dreadfully boring games for every match, just to make him happy. I'd rather he go with his Cricket-loving pals and give me some time off alone to do my girly stuff! Hehe!
Or, imagine this - I'm always criticising the loud, noisy and uncouth Greeks. To bend over backwards would be to have a Greek boyfriend, pretend I am ok with the loud, noisy and uncouth company, and then sooner or later, my true self will surface again and I will start throwing freak-out tantrums over all the bloody noise, drama and gossips!
If the jacket doesn't fit, don't try to squeeze into it... one fine day, all the buttons will pop!
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Originally posted by Fatum:
nah ... just jaded ..... and a little bit bitter, that's all ...
nothing a few beers won't cure, no worries ...
Wah rauAnd to think if my kid might turn out even more jaded and bitter at a younger age
LOL
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Originally posted by Fatum:
gonna go check on patches ....
and then give one of my clients a call ....
you guys play nice ....
pat pat... pat pat...
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Fatum is kinda young to be seriously considering plan C..........
I'll look at plan C once I'm past 40
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Originally posted by av98m:
Fatum is kinda young to be seriously considering plan C..........
I'll look at plan C once I'm past 40
Fatum is also kinda young to be feeling so cluckyBut you never know these things
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Originally posted by elindra:
Ya lor
It's the natural thing to have kids after marriage is pure bollocks too
Just because everyone is doing that in the past, doesn't mean you have to do it too
Yeah and the growing old thingy is pure bollocks too
It would be a miracle if I don't have to support the child when I'm old -_-"
You know what, given the inflation rate these days, it WILL be a miracle if you don't have to bail your kids out somehow by giving them a headstart in life with some financial help.
Most of the Singaporeans I know who own property here, after you know them well enough to ask how they managed to do it, will somehow tell you that their parents got involved. It was either a gift / a loan / joint investment from their parents. I think so far, I only know of one who really did it all single-handedly.
Too bad my parents aren't wealthy enough to give me that kind of aid. I really wouldn't mind, esp when you see good opportunities coming right up your alley but you still need to save for another 8-10 years for the downpayment, and by then, the prices would have gone even steeper.
I do want to grow old with someone, to laugh together, to walk together holding hands, to plan for our future and for our financial security together, and to work together and hopefully retire early together. Asset Management. Children are a huge deficit and unless I can be certain that I can have kids and still retire comfortably in a lovely retirement village here without having to rely on the kids for a single cent, I don't think I'd feel secure enough to have kids.
Think about it, our kids will find it harder to make a living when they've grown-up. It's going to be hard enough for them to support themselves, don't impose your retirement costs and healthcare costs on them. That's selfish... burdening your own kids as if they are your creatures of burden, your 'insurance'.
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Originally posted by av98m:
Fatum is kinda young to be seriously considering plan C..........
I'll look at plan C once I'm past 40
yep. throwing life awway to make a statement.
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Originally posted by av98m:
Fatum is kinda young to be seriously considering plan C..........
I'll look at plan C once I'm past 40
What's plan C?
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Originally posted by Rhonda:
Hehehe! I guess it was just us interpreting the term 'bend over backwards' differently.
I think if God forbid, my next boyfriend suay suay happens to love cricket, then bo bian, I will ask him questions about it, and try not to fall asleep and have my infamous micro-sleep sessions when he's droning on and on about it.
But I will stop at attending the dreadfully boring games for every match, just to make him happy. I'd rather he go with his Cricket-loving pals and give me some time off alone to do my girly stuff! Hehe!
You don't even need to show interest in it laMPB shows no interest in video games and I show zero interest in fishing
It's still working fine :P
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Originally posted by honeymouse:
What's plan C?
-paws mousie-
aloha~!
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I think Plan C might frustrate you guys.
Imagine turning to your wife to discuss something you just saw in the news... only to have her look back at you blankly, not understanding what you are trying to say, and then you try to explain things to her, but she really doesn't know a lot about a lotta stuff and you end up frustrated.
So you'll have someone to do the housekeeping, someone to sleep with and have kids with, but you won't have someone you can talk to, nor will you have someone you'll be proud to show off to your friends and relatives.
Think... worth it or not?
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Originally posted by honeymouse:
What's plan C?
mail-order brides -
Originally posted by elindra:
You don't even need to show interest in it laMPB shows no interest in video games and I show zero interest in fishing
It's still working fine :P
Good!
I never wanna fake it, cause I don't think I can fake it for too long, knowing my chow temper!
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Originally posted by Ferret:
-paws mousie-
aloha~!
Hello ferret, long time no see, how are you?! :-D
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Originally posted by Rhonda:
You know what, given the inflation rate these days, it WILL be a miracle if you don't have to bail your kids out somehow by giving them a headstart in life with some financial help.
Most of the Singaporeans I know who own property here, after you know them well enough to ask how they managed to do it, will somehow tell you that their parents got involved. It was either a gift / a loan / joint investment from their parents. I think so far, I only know of one who really did it all single-handedly.
Too bad my parents aren't wealthy enough to give me that kind of aid. I really wouldn't mind, esp when you see good opportunities coming right up your alley but you still need to save for another 8-10 years for the downpayment, and by then, the prices would have gone even steeper.
I do want to grow old with someone, to laugh together, to walk together holding hands, to plan for our future and for our financial security together, and to work together and hopefully retire early together. Asset Management. Children are a huge deficit and unless I can be certain that I can have kids and still retire comfortably in a lovely retirement village here without having to rely on the kids for a single cent, I don't think I'd feel secure enough to have kids.
Think about it, our kids will find it harder to make a living when they've grown-up. It's going to be hard enough for them to support themselves, don't impose your retirement costs and healthcare costs on them. That's selfish... burdening your own kids as if they are your creatures of burden, your 'insurance'.
I agree with you on that
I guess the thing about having children is an ego trip thingy seriously
You and I made this person together
You and I made this person and groomed it into a successful being -_-"
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Originally posted by Rhonda:
I think Plan C might frustrate you guys.
Imagine turning to your wife to discuss something you just saw in the news... only to have her look back at you blankly, not understanding what you are trying to say, and then you try to explain things to her, but she really doesn't know a lot about a lotta stuff and you end up frustrated.
So you'll have someone to do the housekeeping, someone to sleep with and have kids with, but you won't have someone you can talk to, nor will you have someone you'll be proud to show off to your friends and relatives.
Think... worth it or not?
ask me again after I hit 40
