Club 30's "Kill The Boredom Demon" Jive Pad, 79th Edition
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Originally posted by elindra:
I dunnoI dun deal with these commodities
never mind -
The rice king is actually See Hoy Chan... considered the son's time, he was one of the founder of SIS (The days when sugar was a controlled commodity by S'pore govt)
Now the grandson runs it... and interestingly, the three gen are at least president of Teochew huay kuan at least once
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Aiya I can't even be bothered about Angel
She is....erhmmm ...the female version of Catknight
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now Phillippines say give up bidding for rice cos it's too expensive
to think of it, the other time they themselves were the ones that caused the rice to go up overnight
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Aiya what to do
U know in Phillippines the 2 luxuries for the common man is rice and pork :P
They have pork cartels over there and all the pork kings are filthy filthy disgusting rich
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Originally posted by elindra:
Aiya I can't even be bothered about Angel
She is....erhmmm ...the female version of Catknight
i never monitor catknight, seems quite low profile to me
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Originally posted by elindra:
Aiya what to do
U know in Phillippines the 2 luxuries for the common man is rice and pork :P
They have pork cartels over there and all the pork kings are filthy filthy disgusting rich
goodnessI fear there's going to be war in Africa over food
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Originally posted by kopiosatu:
i never monitor catknight, seems quite low profile to me
that one.. is a walking and shining example of loserdom..
he cannot find girlfriend = all girls are horrible and out to get him..
he does badly = the whole world hates him and is against him..
maybe he's right
people don't like whiny losers
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CASE dunno is it kena owned or whatever for saying 'all' NTUC practices price uniformity
Shin Ming Daily reported the two NTUC outlet at Toa Payoh New Town Centre has price differences of goods bet 20c (For 10pcs egg) and $1.50 (1 tin of 900g Anlene Gold)
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When there is lack of food there will be wars fought
And depending how to handle things in Burma... there might be an outbreak there too :x
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the bastards allowed "one US airdrop" like they are damned kind like that..
i hope the Burmese asshole junta get tortured to a vegetative state.. and not allowed to die
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Finding Next PM Overdue, So Country to Be Fined
Posted on Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Topic: Politics
by K.K. Cheow
After the Prime Minister said finding his successor was ‘overdue’, the Gahmen has decided to fine the country.
“This is just standard library practice when things are overdue,” said Prime Minister’s Orifice spokesman Cheng Hu Kong. “You kena fine.”
“We think a fine of $1 million per Minister per year should be a reasonable penalty,” Mr. Cheng added. “That should give you all the incentive to faster find people to take over us.”
He explained that the amount of the fine was necessary to compensate existing Ministers for the opportunity cost of retiring to the private sector where they might find lucrative employment as directors of corporate boards by virtue of being, um, ex-Ministers.
Mr. Cheng said that the National Library would be arro… sorry, sorry, tasked with the, um, task of collecting the fines from the citizens, as they had the necessary infrastructure.
Mr. Cheng also set out some criteria for finding the future Cabinet:
1. The current Prime Minister will be retained as Senior Minister
2. The current Senior Minister will be retained as the Minister Mentor
3. The current Minister Mentor (and/or his clone) will be retained as whatever he wants to be named
4. Candidates need not be perfect human beings – it’s okay if, for example, the organization they run has made even major mistakes, such as, oh, letting a terrorist escape from a toilet, as long as in the grand scheme of things, they’ve done a good job such as, just saying only lah, training their CCTV cameras on opposition politicians
5. Looking good in white is a plus
6. Should have the right attitude – for example, should be firm about why rich people such as them deserve higher and higher salaries, but not enthusiastic about giving money to the poor in case they get an “entitlement mentality”
7. Able to dance hip-hop and other demonstrable abilities to connect with the “youth” are preferred
8. Don’t even think of nominating that Dr. Chee Don Juan or Mr. Johor Baru Jeyaretnam. I said don’t. Wait you kena slap by the future Senior Minister then you know.- How does talking cock come up with this shit? lol~
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Originally posted by the Bear:
the bastards allowed "one US airdrop" like they are damned kind like that..
i hope the Burmese asshole junta get tortured to a vegetative state.. and not allowed to die
I believe in karma -
Originally posted by the Bear:
the bastards allowed "one US airdrop" like they are damned kind like that..
i hope the Burmese asshole junta get tortured to a vegetative state.. and not allowed to die
one airdrop provide what sial, birdshit?
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AAAAUGH~ laptop spares arriving only on tuesday, wednesday then ready!!!
so long~~~~~
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Originally posted by kopiosatu:
one airdrop provide what sial, birdshit?
exactly..
i think they will allow the airdrop into their camp where they can loot the food to sell in the black market..
i won't put it past the assholes..
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Gahmen Suspected of Steroid Use
Posted on Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Topic: Sports
by Kway Bangket
Just as it was announced that a medal-winning Singaporean bodybuilder was suspected of using performance-enhancing drugs, rumours have surfaced that Gahmen Ministers may have used unnatural means to pump up their salaries.
“You know, at first I thought their pay was so tua liap because they just worked very hard at it,” said Mrs Anna Boh-Leck, chair of the Singapore Unsporting Council. “But you have to ask yourself: how can the rulers of one of the world’s smallest countries have the world’s largest governmental salary? It’s not natural!”
The Council is now conducting investigations, but the Ministry of Monetary Development has issued a statement saying that consuming performance-enhancing pay is not illegal in Singapore.
Said Ministry spokesman Chia Koh Yoke, “We need to remain competitive, and being Singaporean, we’re at a disadvantage, so taking performance-enhancing pay enables us to level the playing field.”
However, the Council says that steroidal salaries may have adverse health benefits. “It is well known that steroid-use can have side effects like causing brain cancer, lowering testosterone and causing suicide,” said Mrs Boh-Leck.
Mr. Chia, however, rejected this. “Our own tests show that those consuming giant-size salaries are very healthy. Conversely, regular citizens who do not, actually suffer the side effects – they are brain dead, they have no balls and their suicide rate is high. The correlation is clear.”- another good one from talking cock la. lol~
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Originally posted by the Bear:
exactly..
i think they will allow the airdrop into their camp where they can loot the food to sell in the black market..
i won't put it past the assholes..
I believe they would refuse to accept the outcome of e votes today -
Originally posted by elindra:
Aiya I can't even be bothered about Angel
She is....erhmmm ...the female version of Catknight
Both prove to be quite dotty. -
fuckspiderman. LOL~
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i'm off.. buhbye everyone... enjoy your weekend
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PARENTING PREPARATION EXERCISE!
Posted on Thursday, May 08, 2008
Topic: We, The Citizens
by Pak Cham Kai
So last week, the State’s Times reported a survey showing that thanks to the Gahmen's policies (what else?) more young Singaporeans now want to get married and have chewren. But do you really know what you’re in for? Try our PARENTING PREPARATION EXERCISE – it’s as close to the real thing as we can simulate!
Mess Exercise - Smear peanut butter all over your sofa and curtains. Place a fishball under your sofa cushion and leave it there for 3 months.
Toy Exercise - Buy a giant box of Lego. (Thumbtacks also can.) Ask your friend to spread them all over the floor of your flat. Simulate the middle of the night by putting on a blindfold and trying to walk to your toilet or kitchen. When you step on a Lego or thumbtack, do not scream because this would wake your child up at night.
Supermarket Exercise - Go to Hay Dairies in Lim Chu Kang and borrow two of their goats. Take them with you to your supermarket to do your groceries. Always keep them in sight, and pay for anything they eat or damage.
Dressing Exercise - Buy one very big, very buay song live octopus. Try to stuff it into a small net bag and make sure all its arms stay inside.
Feeding Exercise - Get a large plastic bottle. Fill it halfway with water. Suspend the bottle from the ceiling with a bungee cord. Separately, make a bowl of Quaker Oats by adding warm milk to the dry oats. Start to swing the jug. As it swings, try to insert as many spoonfuls of the soggy oats as you can into the mouth of the bottle. As you do, make sounds like “um-um-um” or pretend to be an aeroplane. After a while, just dump the contents of the bottle onto the floor.
Night-Time Exercise - Fill a small cloth bag with 5 kg of sand. Soak it completely in water. At 3 pm, pick up the bag and stand up, swaying gently back and forth while humming songs. Keep doing this till 8 pm. Put down the bag, and set your alarm clock for 9 pm, then try to sleep. At 9 pm, wake up, pick up the bag again and resume swaying and humming every song you’ve ever known. If you run out of songs, make some up. Continue till 5 am. Take a nap, and set alarm clock for 6 am. At 6 am, wake up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look happy.
Car Exercise - Forget the BMW and buy a MPV. Buy a cone of ice cream and put it in your dashboard compartment. Leave it there. Take a twenty cent coin. Stick it into your CD player. Buy a big packet of cookies. Mash them into your back seat. Take your car keys and run them along both sides of your car. There! Just like the real thing!
Mother's Body Exercise - Buy a large bean bag chair. Attach it to the front of your clothes for 9 months. After that, remove 6 beans.
Financial Exercise - Go to the nearest NTUC. Go to the cashier and give her your wallet, telling her to help herself. Now go to your bank and arrange for your pay to be GIRO’d directly to NTUC from now on. Go to the mama stall and buy a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.
Sanity Exercise - Make sure your TV can only switch to children’s channels. Throw out all your DVDs and buy only the Best of the Wiggles, Barney, Dora the Explorer, etc. Check in every few weeks with your psychiatrist to see if your IQ is still normal.
Final Exercise - Find a couple who already have a young child. Lecture them on how they can improve their tolerance lah, discipline lah, toilet training lah, patience lah, the child’s table manners lah, the kid’s PSLE results lah, etc. Tell them how the kindergarten they enrolled their kid in is just not good enough, and they must enroll in all sorts of extra classes like Music & Drama, Speech, and donno what else. Emphasise to them that they must never, ever allow their kids to stray onto the wrong path or their future will be fucked forever. Enjoy this experience while it lasts. Because when you have your own kid, it’ll happen to you. -
Wahahahaha! Thanks kopi!
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The parenting one is scary @@
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do not fight fate ......
