Night Owls Chatterbox - Part LIX!
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watching this show is hilarious.. it's about this guy visiting the Congo..
the police is being trained for controlling a riot..
the head honcho is this white guy shouting at them "FALL BACK FALL BACK!"
the host said "it's no wonder, the guy's French"
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let me haul it over here so av can see
spent a couple of hours doing this
slipshod rough editing
but here it is... CSI ver 2.0
for reference, here's the previous version
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Originally posted by the Bear:
eee yeer I certainly wasn't watching those!!
It was the finals of the individual gymnastics thingy where they perform/dance with 4 types of props. Not a single one was from china.
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Originally posted by laurence82:
*pounces on fudgie*
Eeeeeeks!!!!!!
Someone get this mushy yellow fruit off me now!!!!
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Originally posted by kopiosatu:
let me haul it over here so av can see
spent a couple of hours doing this
slipshod rough editing
but here it is... CSI ver 2.0
for reference, here's the previous version
I love it -
Originally posted by fudgester:
Eeeeeeks!!!!!!
Someone get this mushy yellow fruit off me now!!!!
*sexcitedly snaps pics* -
will i be labelled a pedo for watching the orlympigs then?
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Originally posted by laurence82:
will i be labelled a pedo for watching the orlympigs then?
You will be if you got turned on by the PRC gymnastics team.
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Originally posted by fudgester:
You will be if you got turned on by the PRC gymnastics team.
*rubs his crotch*
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hmmmm should have a shoot where fudgie smashes a banana... or his banana
and ah lau rubbing his CB
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i heard on friday somebody want to take a pic of me licking a guitar??
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ijjit? that one have to ask the main star liao
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who is the main star??
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the rocker lor.
u are just a licker
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Originally posted by laurence82:
i heard on friday somebody want to take a pic of me licking a guitar??
me. for the tenacious d themed shoot. that one will be much later. -
sounds s3xciting
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check out this scandal in the Olympics..
=> TKD competitor kicks ref in face
thing is, the World Taekwondo Federation is going to ban the guy.. not that it's surprising... but.. the acronym!
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"We didn't expect anything like what you have witnessed to occur," said WTF secretary general Yang Jin-suk. "I am at a loss for words."
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if i was watching it, i'd go "WTF??!!"
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Originally posted by fudgester:
Just saw the CSI photo.
Poor sheep.
the sheep enjoyed it -
this is a dig at the mandate. hahahahahahahahahahahaa
MORE DATING TIPS FROM THE PM
Posted on Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Topic: Local News
by Nyonya Kway
So the Prem Binister offered all of us dating tips during his NDP Rally speech.
We looked at the chick he’s been dating, and wondered “Hmmm!” for a while about his qualifications to give the rest of us advice, then decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Then one of our moles sent us a list of more dating tips from the PM which didn’t make it into his speech:
1. Can’t find a girlfriend? Have your dad convene a high level committee to scour the country for a suitable woman.
2. Learn to be a good conversationalist. Hire a team of PR consultants and spin doctors to come up with things to make you seem approachable, amiable and appealing, e.g. “Would you like to come up to my place some time to see my salary?”
3. Be chivalrous. Always have your security guards open the door for your date.
4. Be considerate of your girlfriend’s feelings. When she’s lost yet another few billion dollars, don’t say things to make her feel bad. Be supportive, and ask her to try again.
5. Dress to impress. Tell your PR consultants to design suitable outfits for all occasions for you – suits lah, red polo tee-shirt and white pants lah, all-white ensembles lah… then get some columnist in the State’s Times to gush about how hamsum you are.
6. Take her out to new restaurants and try exotic new dishes. You know, like mee siam with hum.
7. Charm her with compliments, e.g. “Wow, who does your hair? Sergeant Muthumanniam at Nee Soon Camp?”
8. Tantalize her with a hint of some sexy secret, e.g. “You know what secretly turns me on? Slapping.”
9. In this age of equality, it’s no longer required to insist that you pay for your date’s dinner. Why, she might develop a crutch mentality.
10. Be imaginative! Send her gifts that tell her how you really feel. Oh, like a chairmanship to a GLC.
11. Sometimes it’s good to maintain an air of mystery. For instance, every now and then suggest that you’re not actually in charge and that “someone else” is really running the country.
12. Don’t be shallow. Learn to appreciate her inner beauty. -
Singapore Wins Olympic Medal So Ministers Deserve Pay Raise
Posted on Monday, August 18, 2008
Topic: Sports
by Sporting Cock
Rumours have begun circulating that our leaders deserve a pay raise after our country’s first Olympic medal in donnohowmany years.
“I think our Mini-stars deserve a pay raise,” said State’s Times columnist See Koh Fern, who is part of that effort to circulate those rumours. “I mean, we managed to win a medal not just because of the athletes’ efforts but also because our leaders had the wisdom and foresight to import them. If the athletes are getting silver, then I think our leaders should also get some silver. Maybe if we give our Mini-stars gold, we will also win gold in London next time.”
“Absolutely,” said State’s Times deputy editor Charlie Hoong. “They saw very early on how useless local Singaporeans are, and that it’s useless to spend money training them and giving them the resources. It’s so much more efficient to just buy off-the-shelf. I mean, it’s the winning that count mah, not the journey. That’s what sports is all about, right?”
The Prime Minister’s Orifice has refused to comment on whether a Ministerial pay rise will actually follow the Olympic win, but said “the idea is very intriguing and merits consideration.”
“Look, the ping pong medal is definitely an encouraging sign for Singaporean sports,” said Mr. Hoong, “And we should definitely seize this moment to tackle the issue of Singaporean sports. We shouldn’t criticize any pay raise that comes with this, because making people pay more is precisely how this great Gahmen has dealt with almost every big issue facing the country. It’s worked great so far!”
Miss See and Mr. Hoong will be representing the country at the International Media Sports Friendlies, competing in the heavyweight ball-carrying event. -
Originally posted by laurence82:
sounds s3xciting
there will be sheep involved too. -
WHAT IF THE OLYMPICS WERE HELD NAKED?
Posted on Sunday, August 17, 2008
Topic: Sports
by Sporting Cock
Congrats to our ping pong champs on their big achievement! Hwah, playing on home soil really helps, hor!
Anyway, we were watching the Olympics and couldn’t help but think: what if everyone was naked? (Dun bluff! We bet you all also thought the same thing, but do’wan to admit only!)
I mean, that’s how the Olympics were originally played way back in ancient Greece! But here’s how the Games would be different if the Olympians had no clothes today…
1. Contestants in the relay races have to be extra careful when handing over the baton.
2. In the naked tennis event, the winner still jumps over the net. But just more carefully.
3. Michael Phelps loses all advantage from his Speedo Lazer swimsuit.
4. In fact, Michael Phelps and Dara Torres found to have the same body!
5. In naked boxing, hitting below the belt is not only a foul, it’s probably criminal assault too.
6. Greco-Roman wrestling becomes even more uncomfortable to watch. (Unless you’re already into that sort of thing.)
7. In naked basketball, backing in towards the hoop could be the start of a beautiful relationship.
8. Viagra now tops the list of performance-enhancing drugs.
9. In naked figure skating, you get an extra half-point for doing a no-hands lift.
10. Singaporeans censors rate the Olympics a R21 event, and sports fans now have to watch telecasts at Yangtze Cinema.
11. With naked gymnastics, jumping around and twirling a ribbon doesn’t look so stupid anymore.
12. Naked women’s soccer: finally, American men start watching soccer.
13. Instead of cheering and applauding, spectators now throw dollar bills at the athletes.
14. Naked beach volleyball: practically no difference.
15. The Winter Olympics? Don’t ask.
16. Favourite swimming event? The breaststroke, lor.
17. Naked badminton: don’t whack the wrong ‘cock, hor.
18. Watching doubles is now way more fun than singles.
19. But then, Singapore Gahmen bans all men’s doubles events under section 277A of the Penal Code.
20. Table tennis now renamed table pennis.
