There are times like now, when I prefer to write with my mind shut. Rely on what then? Pure, solid, rubbishy, yet beautiful blind faith.
Isn't it wonderful that sometimes in life, there exists some Higher Being whom we can look up to, to love, to worship, and to respect? Like as if He exists, yes, He most probably does not exist, still, what a beautiful way to live an insane life, rather than to succumb to some rock-born theory like the Monkey God who proclaims himself a saint and is born from a rock.
Parentless, Ownerless, without a single care in the world, but also without a single person to care for him in return.
Monkeys born from rocks are truly invincible, yet, as I learn in my seek of a religious truth, the truly fortunate ones are the ordinary blokes on the street like you and me, because only ordinary people can do two things:
- Surrender to humility that he is imperfect
- i FORGOT THE OTHER, I'M SORRY.
Yes I am arrogant bastard when I deal with rogues at home and at workplace, underneath the bedsheets I am an incorrigible wolf, but during ordinary brightly lit days, I too take the public transport, rush to interviews, and surrender to futility or fatigue when the day is over.
I am really ordinary.
And tonight, I am endowed with faith, comnig from seemingly nowhere, yet, preoccupied with one simple blind truth -- where there is unhappiness, suffering and suffocation, to that place i will.. i mean I intend to go, even if it makes little difference but to just give people some fresh air.
My zen teacher, assuming I am a Buddhist tonight since I was a Muslim this afternoon, taught me something basic:
"Don't be too naive. You think you have a good heart and want to help people. But when u see the ugly faces of people, u certainly will feel like giving up. Unless.. unless.. in the deepest corners of my heart, I have enough nerves, reserves of strength, and the unimaginable compassion which only the Omnipresent will have"
To blind faith tonight I surrender, and I believe it is a good calling.