For fu
ck's sake, I don't even have a girlfriend now as everyone else knows, and I'm all the better for it.

Did you get the correct "lips", or even the right gender in the first place?

I suppose not - you looked very dopey even before you had all those drinks.

Anyway, I'll be gone for a while, and I've done No.1's before so I know they look good on me.

Meanwhile, get some Dettol, clean your tool and your mouth properly.
Finally, let me remind you that combovers suck. A No.1 cut looks much better, so spare our eyes .
