True Masturbation Stories (DamnFunny)
-
Taken from http://www.mymasturbation.com
Topic: Caught by Moms.
Enjoy.
Pinch Me Please:
One time I was wanking off and I couldn't cum for anything (I wasn't too horny), so I decided to get a pair of tweezers and pinch my ass with them. So I started pinching my ass and I was getting off, but then my mom suddenly walked in and told me to lift up the covers! I said no, so she told me to sit up. I sat up and the tweezers went straight up my ass!! I screamed and my mom asked what was wrong ... just let your imagination handle the rest!!
Screwdriver Screw-Up:
When I masturbate I lie naked on top of my bed with two screwdrivers, one in my vagina and the other stimulating my clit. One time while masturbating I fell asleep naked with no blankets and with the screwdrivers still in me. When I woke up the next morning there was a sheet over me and the screwdrivers were sitting next to me.
Mom mops up:
One time I masturbated after coming back from a night out. From all the excitement I came all over the floor. The next morning my mom entered the room and asked me what that was on the floor. I was shocked to see my cum spread all over the floor!!! I answered her that it was Sprite and watched her mop my cum off the floor.
Church Chat:
My mother has always wanted to be a nun. I was masturbating one time alone. At least I thought I was alone. Just as I was hitting it hard, ready for it to cum, my mother walked by and just stared. I, in a half-dazed state, just stared back. After about 30 seconds into this staring contest my cum burst out onto her shoe. At this point I was horrified beyond anything imaginable. She ran away and we talked about it later. I had to agree to take lessons about masturbation at our church with the minister. I'll never be that embarrassed again.
More stories to be posted below soon. -
yawns.. -
Straight Shooter:
I was laying on my bed one day when I started watching a dirty video my girlfriend had bought me. It was such a turn-on I started masturbating. I was going at it really hard, and was really getting into it so much that I forgot my mother was in the next room. As I was getting closer to coming I began to make some noise because I find making noises turns me on more. As I got louder and louder, my mum must have heard and thought I was in pain, because just as I reached the point of no return she hurried into the room to see what was wrong with me. I shot my load right on her stomach!!! She was so disgusted she couldn't look at me for days! I lock myself in the bathroom to masturbate from now on!
Embarrassed:
One day after work I was so horny that I just needed a quick release. I had gotten all cleaned up and out of my work clothes and I had been sitting in my room, alone in the house, for about an hour. I decided to watch some porn and I quickly found myself stroking my seven incher. Three quarters of an hour passed and I found myself just about to cum. At the time of "arrival" I started to shoot literally everywhere--on the TV screen, on the floor, and even on my mother's foot when she walked in to find me having a good time! I have been so embarrassed since and have tried to be a little more private in my doings
Tree Piercing:
I was rubbing one out and driving at the same time when a white-tailed deer suddenly ran out in front of my car. I didn't hit the deer, but as I swerved to miss the deer I hit the ditch and then slammed into a big tree. I felt all right after the impact and after I came to ... except a limb from the tree smashed through my windshield, puncturing a two-inch hole in my nut bag! After sitting in my car for two hours I built up enough strength to get out of my car. I climbed out of my car while holding my sack in both hands. I then walked back out onto the highway and tried to wave down cars, but the people driving by just ignored me because they thought I was being a jerk and making obscene gestures toward them. Lucky for me, my own MOTHER drove by and saw me. She picked me up and rushed me to the hospital where I received twelve stitches in my sack! Everything seems to work now after two years. -
Danger!:
In my teens, I used to enjoy the thrill of what I called a "dangerwank." I'd start pulling and then, when I knew I was close to shooting, I'd yell "Mom" and have to finish before she ran into the room! There was always the risk she'd burst in when I was beyond the point of no return! -
Not FUNNY at all
-
lol you no sense of humor la...Originally posted by de_middle:Not FUNNY at all -
these are so mild..........
-
the stories dont have any effect unless they are typed in CAPS!!!!!
-
get hardcore one then only talk.Originally posted by FireIce:these are so mild.......... -
*Yawn*
NPNT!
-
yes...totally not funny at all....Originally posted by FireIce:these are so mild.......... -
Pity the mum.
Also kanna the cum.