baby elephant penis
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Bob goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I'm having trouble getting my penis erect. Can you help me?" After a complete examination, the doctor tells him, "Well, the problem with you is that the muscles around the base of your penis are damaged. There's really nothing we can do for you unless you are willing to try an experimental treatment." Bob asks sadly, "What is this treatment?" "Well," the doctor says, "what we would do is take the muscles from the trunk of a baby elephant and implant them in your penis." Bob thinks about it silently and says, "Well, the thought of going through life without ever having sex again is too much, let's go for it."
A few weeks after the operation, Bob was given the green light to use his improved equipment. He planned a romantic evening with his girlfriend and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in the city. In the middle of dinner, he felt a stirring between his legs that continued to the point of being uncomfortable. To release the pressure, Bob unzipped his fly. His penis immediately sprang from his pants, went to the top of the table, grabbed a roll and returned to his pants. His girlfriend was stunned at first and then said with a sly smile, "That was incredible! Can you do that again?" Bob replied, "Well, I guess so, but I don't think I can fit another roll in my ass." -
lol.. great joke
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another one:
Bre@st Enlargement
One day upon arriving home from work, my wife informed me that she was interested in having bre@st enlargement surgery. When I asked why, she said, "Because it would improve my self-esteem, and hopefully make me a little more attractive to you." When I asked her how much it would cost she said, "$3000 per bre@st." I exclaimed, "$3000 per bre@st?! Have you tried the toilet paper method?" She looked puzzled. "Sure each night before you go to bed, rub toilet paper between your bre@sts, and over a period of time, they should grow." She said, "That won't work!" I replied, "It worked on your ass!" -
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Sex of the Baby
Three pregnant woman were sitting in a doctor's waiting room. The first touched her belly and smiled. "I'm having a boy," she said. "How do you know?" the other two asked. "By the way I conceived," she said, "I did it on top." "Oh," said the second woman, "I must be having a girl because I conceived lying on the bottom." "Oh no!" cried the third woman. "That must mean I'm having a puppy!" -
Sex with the teacher
Sex with the Teacher
This little 13 year-old boy comes home from school and his mom asks how his day was. He replies, "I had sex with my teacher today." "Oh my god! You get to your room! Wait till your father comes home!!!" says the mom. Later the father comes home and the mom says, "Go up to your son's room and talk to him. he's been really bad today." Dad goes up to the son's room and asks why mom is so mad. "I told her I had sex with my teacher today," replied the boy.
"Alright! That's my boy!" says dad. "Ya know son, women just don't think like men. But I'm proud of you. What are you now, about thirteen, right? Wow. That's my son! Ya know what? I'm so proud of you I'm gonna take you out and buy you that new shiny bike you've been wanting!" So the dad and his son go out and buy the nicest, reddest, shiniest bike in the whole town. "You gonna ride it home son?" asks dad. The boy replied, "Nah, my ass is still sore." -
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lol.Originally posted by thoreldan:Bob goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I'm having trouble getting my penis erect. Can you help me?" After a complete examination, the doctor tells him, "Well, the problem with you is that the muscles around the base of your penis are damaged. There's really nothing we can do for you unless you are willing to try an experimental treatment." Bob asks sadly, "What is this treatment?" "Well," the doctor says, "what we would do is take the muscles from the trunk of a baby elephant and implant them in your penis." Bob thinks about it silently and says, "Well, the thought of going through life without ever having sex again is too much, let's go for it."
A few weeks after the operation, Bob was given the green light to use his improved equipment. He planned a romantic evening with his girlfriend and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in the city. In the middle of dinner, he felt a stirring between his legs that continued to the point of being uncomfortable. To release the pressure, Bob unzipped his fly. His penis immediately sprang from his pants, went to the top of the table, grabbed a roll and returned to his pants. His girlfriend was stunned at first and then said with a sly smile, "That was incredible! Can you do that again?" Bob replied, "Well, I guess so, but I don't think I can fit another roll in my ass." -
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