Troubled sex life
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I've got a troubled sex life
and I need some advise...... (BTW this is a genuine case, I won't entertain nonsense reply)
I got married few months back.....yeah very happy (and stressed out at times, but not with her
)
The problem is I can't seem to make my wife have an orgasm during sex
........No matter how much I did foreplay(maybe not skilled enough) or arouse my wife, she seems to have difficulty cumming. So far, I've only manage to made her cum by stimulating her clitoris orally. 
Though my wife like oral sex on her, she prefer to cum while I'm penetrating her. I ask her how she felt during sex and she said she felt good by it's not as good compared to the clitoris stimulation I gave her....that why I think she's not having orgasms during sex.
Yeah I try to prolong myself from cumming but it's not as easy as it seems. Tried thinking of other stuff but it's useless, the emotional and physical stimulation is so great that it's uncontrollable. So I just cum....then she'll frown knowing that it's over again without her cumming and I'll feel very paiseh.
Any tips on how to maximize pleasure during sex for women? Any "best positions" to share? My main aim is to make my wife happy b4 me
Also Any tips to delay orgasm and cumming too?
Thanks in adv -
Try to tink of work so u wun get an orgasm so fast or try using vibrator.
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Each person pattern of orgasm varies from one another. You have to discuss with your wife about her favourite positions and other stuffs that will make her highly to achieve an orgasm, that is through intercourse I'm talking about.
Perhaps you might try to have a longer than usual foreplay, not limiting to touch, but as well as words. Whisper sweet, sometimes naughty, words in her ears to arouse her. The idea is to make her almost there, so during making love, you stand a higher chance. Of course, sensual words and touching do not stop there, while doing it, continue your foreplay.
Another way is to use the commonly method 'stop-and-go'. Find out your 'point-of-no-return', and stop all activities, wait for the feeling to subside, then continue. However this is not a sure win situation, as some women may feel discourage and even losing patience when you stop many times. Still, you can discuss with your wife about this.
I've heard of another method which is using your sphincter muscles to control your orgasm. That muscles is in man's groin area, and we actually used it everyday...to control the urge of urinating. Likewise, it will prevent you from ejaculating. It requires training though to effectively use it.
Your wife can do her part as well, by sitting on top of you. That way, she can actually rub her clitoris against your pelvic bone back and forth. Strictly speaking, you are not moving nor thrusting, so the urge of cumming may not be that immense. Till she satisfies, then change position and finish on a happy note.
Again, what matter most is that you should openly discuss this with your wife. Do not be afraid to let her know. Work everything out. There are a lot of articles on the net that can help you, I'm only telling you from what I know, there may be more. Do it healthily and lovingly.
Cheers. -
haha cannot think if work, wait he start to shit how?Originally posted by Ah^ken:Try to tink of work so u wun get an orgasm so fast or try using vibrator. -
Originally posted by userid:haha cannot think if work, wait he start to shit how?
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wow tinydot must be a super pro
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CannotBluff, NOT sure if tis works but mayB U can try...
More foreplay to stimulate her. Read from some articles the BEST & MOST effective way is thru clitoria stimulation. When she's feeling HIGH, then U can go ahead with ur penetration.
To stop urself from cuming too soon, U may apply the technique by stopping a while & mayB do some more stimulation on her while waiting for ur climax to subside then carry on with the penetration when U're ready & it'll oso maintain her climax by oral... -
ur wife virgin or not when she marry u? if not means last time she kana f**k by a guy wif big cock. now loose liao no more shiok......
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wah brother..this is abit insulting leh..tats wat i tink and hope u dun mind..Originally posted by Jaws:ur wife virgin or not when she marry u? if not means last time she kana f**k by a guy wif big cock. now loose liao no more shiok......
Givache 
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don't worree about him.. one of those lamers that even after the topic poster requested politely for "no nonsense" replies still come up with such a cock statement.. that isn't even true!!!Originally posted by Givache:wah brother..this is abit insulting leh..tats wat i tink and hope u dun mind.. Givache
jaws:
the vagina is a muscle. so is ur cock. u every pcc everyday u think ur cock will grow longer?? -
well i guess more foreplay will be the answer to it...you can have a nice bath and stimulate each other, errotic massarge will also be good or even watch AV movies while making love....it all helps.
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bt sometimes also mus see the girl high or not high mah......some girls..are born with not so much urge......
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True cause some people have high sexual desires..some do not....but actually it all matters down to one thing...if you really love each other very much then go do some homework...see what is it that your partner like and what you like your partner do to you....by then i am sure sex wil be very enjoyable!!Originally posted by Xiao Long Nu:bt sometimes also mus see the girl high or not high mah......some girls..are born with not so much urge...... -
huh,..!!Originally posted by Hershey:True cause some people have high sexual desires..some do not....but actually it all matters down to one thing...if you really love each other very much then go do some homework...see what is it that your partner like and what you like your partner do to you....by then i am sure sex wil be very enjoyable!! -
i agree. maybe can buy kamasutra n two of u try the positions together. shld be fun la. the thing abt making love is not jus orgasm or cumming.Its abt exploring each other physically n emntionally blah blah. have u discussed yr problem with yr wife? she can do some contracting exercises to help her to have an orgasm. contract her vagina muscles. basically when she pee, to stop peeing she contracts that muscle in her vagina. thats the muscle she contract to aid in orgasm. everytime u penetrate she contract that muscle.Originally posted by Hershey:True cause some people have high sexual desires..some do not....but actually it all matters down to one thing...if you really love each other very much then go do some homework...see what is it that your partner like and what you like your partner do to you....by then i am sure sex wil be very enjoyable!!
then my friend said that when guys cum their butt muscles tighten so he said in order not to shoot so fast he say use waist to control n everytime wan to shoot go slow. hmmm he also mention if the girl is on top not so easy to shoot. the penetration is deeper as well more shiok i think for the girl. -
i strongly agree n urge u to discuss with yr wife.Originally posted by tinydot:Each person pattern of orgasm varies from one another. You have to discuss with your wife about her favourite positions and other stuffs that will make her highly to achieve an orgasm, that is through intercourse I'm talking about.
Perhaps you might try to have a longer than usual foreplay, not limiting to touch, but as well as words. Whisper sweet, sometimes naughty, words in her ears to arouse her. The idea is to make her almost there, so during making love, you stand a higher chance. Of course, sensual words and touching do not stop there, while doing it, continue your foreplay.
Another way is to use the commonly method 'stop-and-go'. Find out your 'point-of-no-return', and stop all activities, wait for the feeling to subside, then continue. However this is not a sure win situation, as some women may feel discourage and even losing patience when you stop many times. Still, you can discuss with your wife about this.
I've heard of another method which is using your sphincter muscles to control your orgasm. That muscles is in man's groin area, and we actually used it everyday...to control the urge of urinating. Likewise, it will prevent you from ejaculating. It requires training though to effectively use it.
Your wife can do her part as well, by sitting on top of you. That way, she can actually rub her clitoris against your pelvic bone back and forth. Strictly speaking, you are not moving nor thrusting, so the urge of cumming may not be that immense. Till she satisfies, then change position and finish on a happy note.
Again, what matter most is that you should openly discuss this with your wife. Do not be afraid to let her know. Work everything out. There are a lot of articles on the net that can help you, I'm only telling you from what I know, there may be more. Do it healthily and lovingly.
Cheers. -
Hi all,
Thanks for all the advise from all of you, really appreciated......as for jaws, he's probably not had sex before so let's ignore him.
Well, just to update you people......things haven't really improve much .....I still didn't manage to make my wife cum while I'm pumping her.....yeah, a bit like a loser.... 
She said that during sex, I failed to touch or rub her clitoris so It's very difficult for her to have the 'sensation' that leads to orgasm.
I tried to prolong my erection by thinking about stuff and so on........... It works(thanks
) but I think I got too carried away that the excitment died down when we start chatting about non-erotic stuff and so on...... There's once I decided to give her a blowjob before I penetrate but she was enjoying so much that I can't bear to stop. Yeah, once she cum she said it's too "sore" to do it again.....so I din get any sex that night
Anyway I did suggest to her some position but I found most of them uncomfortable, my wife's also too shy to try out some of the positions that I suggested. We still like the classic missionary style. Side and Doggy style's out.......not shiok for her and me. Oh yes! Bathing's really good but we didn't really do it....I think we need a bathtub!! :p
I also suspect it could be the enviroment and due to stress of daily life. .........bummer............. Read many articles online and it's seem that girls are always having difficulty in having orgasms during sex.......it's like 95% can't cum..... Any gals having such problems too? If so is there ayway to solve it?
Have yet to try vaginal contraction and girl on guy postion......might suggest to her.......Also I think we need more erotic foreplay.........but my wife's too shy to "play"...... -
hi there..
it's a little late now was gonna sleep but read ur latest post. wanna say that it's very sweet of u to wanna pleasure ur wife that u have to come to the net to find answers! the net is a wonderful place with alot of info, isn't it?
so before i plop off to bed, i have a suggestion.
is your wife someone who thinks she can or wants to enjoy sex? there are some women out there who swear they dun need sex and will do it only for their bf/husbands. if ur wife is one such person then this may not work. but if she does have her horny moments then this *may* work...
temporary abstinence.
try setting a period of time where you both won't have sex.. no intimate touching definitely no oral (both ways!) or fingering or stroking.. kiss and hug in bed is ok.. but plan a period of time when u just won't do it. how long u can discuss together depending on ur normal frequency of intercourse.
i feel that this way may help to build up a higher level of desire, and when the appointed time (sounds like a ritual!) comes u both can just let go. no pun intended! u cannot let go too fast!
of course dun just rape each other.. go ahead and try the things u've been "researching" on the net and thru talking to frens... foreplay etc etc.
on a personal note, i'm glad u give her oral.. becos it's something i enjoy as well (giving it - i'm male!) i dunno if it's the taste or the fact that her womanhood is smack bang in my face (it suggests that she trusts me and isn't shy around me) or becos i feel good being able to give her the pleasure which she definitely seems to be enjoying, or... all of the above!
good luck pal! keep us updated! -
cannotbluff: i am not that experienced... so i dunno how to make yr wife not shy.. i think she shld be braver n try la =] practise makes perfect. maybe drinking a little wine would help relax both of you. massages? erm hmmm.. i dunno...
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Well good to hear there are some improvements...but hey guess that the both of you really need to explore more and have more erotic foreplay....encourage your wife more and i am sure things will work out just fine!Originally posted by Cannotbluff:Hi all,
Thanks for all the advise from all of you, really appreciated......as for jaws, he's probably not had sex before so let's ignore him.
Well, just to update you people......things haven't really improve much .....I still didn't manage to make my wife cum while I'm pumping her.....yeah, a bit like a loser.... She said that during sex, I failed to touch or rub her clitoris so It's very difficult for her to have the 'sensation' that leads to orgasm.
I tried to prolong my erection by thinking about stuff and so on........... It works(thanks) but I think I got too carried away that the excitment died down when we start chatting about non-erotic stuff and so on...... There's once I decided to give her a blowjob before I penetrate but she was enjoying so much that I can't bear to stop. Yeah, once she cum she said it's too "sore" to do it again.....so I din get any sex that night
Anyway I did suggest to her some position but I found most of them uncomfortable, my wife's also too shy to try out some of the positions that I suggested. We still like the classic missionary style. Side and Doggy style's out.......not shiok for her and me. Oh yes! Bathing's really good but we didn't really do it....I think we need a bathtub!! :p
I also suspect it could be the enviroment and due to stress of daily life. .........bummer............. Read many articles online and it's seem that girls are always having difficulty in having orgasms during sex.......it's like 95% can't cum..... Any gals having such problems too? If so is there ayway to solve it?
Have yet to try vaginal contraction and girl on guy postion......might suggest to her.......Also I think we need more erotic foreplay.........but my wife's too shy to "play"...... -
Buy the book tat britmey spears bought, cant recall the title and do research on "jelqing"
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Originally posted by Cannotbluff:
Though my wife like oral sex on her, she prefer to cum while I'm penetrating her. I ask her how she felt during sex and she said she felt good by it's not as good compared to the clitoris stimulation I gave her....that why I think she's not having orgasms during sex.
Remember in your last post you mentioned that you actually gave her oral, she enjoyed it too much and was too sore to continue (and you can't bear to stop the pleasure on her?) Actually, I already wanted to tell you this... Oral sex is mainly a FOREPLAY though can be use an appetiser too... (And can be 'main course' for lesbians... ~Hohoho.. But we're not going into that... )
You've got to learn control your oral stimulation in such a way that she's aroused enough and yet not get her over the edge with just that... (Unless her stamina allows her to... Going into that later...) This is how you learn with experience through the sessions you have with her.... Make it such a way that she would be DYING to have penetration sex with you (you said she loves to cum in you yeah? )... If you wanna increase the chance of her being able to achieve orgasm in you, these are some of the things you may like to try...
1. Continue to fondle her, whisper words to her to know how she feel and maintain her arouseness...
2. Make on to a position that would allows clitoris to your body contact (rubbing?) after your oral with her....
3. Try having fingering sessions with her so that she can learn to enjoy orgasm through the feeling of penetration... It's usually true that women are more easily satisfied through clitorus arousal, but not necessarily follows that they can only allow good orgasm from that alone... She's most probably very inexperienced with the feeling of sex, so you've got to teach her to experience the different sensations of achieving orgasm....
4. Prolonging of your session with her through your own control is HIGHLY POSSIBLE by training yourself... You can most probably get books and information from internet about these (but please must sure that you know what you're doing and that the information's reliable before you try anything stupid on yourself?)... They usually emphasize on mental control and/or 'physical' training....
Any tips on how to maximize pleasure during sex for women? Any "best positions" to share? My main aim is to make my wife happy b4 me
Maximise pleasure?
1. Keeping her sportingly active would helps her achieve pleasure and orgasm BETTER...
2. Encourage her to fantasize... It usually helps to lift up her desire...
3. Let her learn about the different ways of achieving orgasms... Mainly clitoris, G-spot, anal (up to individuals), pure stimulation arousal (not very often achievable to orgasm by itself) and combinations of these....
4. Positioning is quite personal and up to individual's preference and 'ability'? You should be able to get tons of such everywhere....
The important thing is to try them out to see if you're both comfortable with it....?
ENJOY? -
Foreplay is one thing...maybe yr wife like intellectual stimulation. Environment is equally important for some woman...they like romantic atmosphere.
Try create a romantic atmosphere like after a romantic dinner, walk or talk on the sofaÂ….avoid watching TV or showÂ…it will kill.
Patiance during foreplay, maybe you penetrate too soon, maybe she need a little more time during foreplay. Let yr wife take the initiation. Meaning let her let you know when she is ready for you to insert. She should know her own body better then you.
Type of foreplay also important, lip service, fonder her breast while stroking her..etc
All this may help a little. In more health wedsite, woman constantly complain about not have orgasm so I think should be normal.
Another thing is maybe both of you are still not used to each other yet since you are newly wedÂ…it will take some time to adjust.
My gf & I took some time to start enjoy sex too. Btw she does orgasm every time (no joke). Try also at different part of the room instead of bedroom it also helped. -
Watch some XXX movie before u start making love . Then try sitting position face to face, ask her to rub / move & you try hug her tightly. Ask her to rub / bang her clit on ur hairly part...hmm , same case with my wife. She taught me this ..... ......
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Don't be afraid to explore
The basic principle of tantric sex is that your erogenous zone is everywhere. The idea is not to make a beeline for the genitalia, but to focus on sensual exploration.
Men and women have various erogenous zones that correspond with energy channels or acupressure meridians. In women they tend to concentrate around the vulva, breasts, neck, and navel, as well as the inner thighs, buttocks, hands and toes. For guys, erotically charged areas are typically the hands, feet, ears, tongue and nipples.
So don't be afraid to explore your partner's body in a worshipful way. Take your time and go slowly. It can be erotic especially if you take turns to stroke, massage, kiss, nibble and lick each other in new ways and places.