Sexual Virus – Oral Sex
“Catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that are ruining the vineyards, while our vineyards are in blossom.” (Song of Solomon 2:15)
Oral sex is another one of the ‘little foxes’ that comes to ruin our sexuality by distorting and hijacking the essence of sexual intercourse. This sexual virus is very small and masquerades itself as an acceptable and natural sexual act in the closet of our most intimate marriage life—only God, the devil, our spouse and ourselves know it!
A common persuasive word of husbands to their wives is, “It is OK to explore and engage in any sexual acts including oral sex as long as it is done on the marriage bed.” Most wives oblige their husband though they did not enjoy it or they are not sure whether it is right in God’s sight.
How can it be pleasant for a wife to have her husband ejaculates his seeds into her mouth? Yet most wives endure this ordeal to please the desires of their husband, and try to keep sex going in the marriage.
Let’s examine the argument that, “It is OK to explore and engage in any sexual technique including oral sex as long as it is done on the marriage bed?” –This proposition is unbiblical and dangerous. Jesus is still LORD over one’s sex life in the marriage. The married couple is not the king of the jungle in their bedroom!
Hebrews 13:4 instructed us to keep our marriage bed undefiled. How can the marriage bed be defiled? By fornication, adultery and sex perversion.
It is an open secret that many married couples engage in oral sex. Some years ago in the Strait Times Forum, a member of the public wrote in to suggest the need to re-classify the term ‘oral sex’ in the penal code section 224, which is classified as unnatural sex to natural sex. The rationale is that a huge proportion of Singapore married couples are engaging in oral sex as a norm in their sex life.
I am often asked by both genders in the counseling room whether oral sex is a sexual sin. Women struggle silently with their husbands who enjoy oral sex over natural sex. Some husbands cannot perform the act of marriage without oral sex. The ejaculation of his seeds into his wifeÂ’s genital is only the final icing in the act.
Many women suffer silently having the nasty seminal fluid spit into their mouth or being deprived of pleasure of natural sex. Others suffer a bad conscience and experience faith-shipwreck. The techniques of the sex is such a sensitive issue that it is difficult to honestly discuss between couples without being misunderstood or getting their ego hurt.
The fear of hurting and losing their spouse has shut the mouth of many women. This fear has kept some wives from admitting to their husband that they did not enjoy it. Fear of these women has brought them a snare. Fear gives Satan the legal right to hijack their sexuality and rob them of godly sex and the opportunity to nurture each otherÂ’s spirit.
The lack of oral and written teaching and discussion on the issue of oral sex in the Church exaggerated the problem. Thus fear of man and the lack of knowledge (biblical knowledge) are fertile breeding-ground for Satan’s work in many marriages. Hosea 4:6 aptly reveals, “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.”
In contrast, our modern world is glutted to sex-talk. The entertainment media, commercial advertisement, even schoolsÂ’ textbooks are brimming over. Often Christians get their sex education from the world, which ought not be so.
As a community of God’s people, we are the salt and the light of the world. We are called to be God’s voice and the authority on sex-talk in humanity—presenting to the world the biblical view of sex.
“Is Oral Sex Classified As Sex Perversion?”
1. Yes, It is classified as unnatural sex act in the Singapore Penal Code.
2. Yes, biblically it is a sex perversion for the mouth is an organ to consume food and not for ejaculation of a husbandÂ’s semen. Oral sex is misuse or abuse of the human mouth as well as the depriving of the function of female genital.
3. Yes, oral sex is a common in a homosexual relationship. Christians should be very cautious to pattern this sex technique.
4. Yes, it perverts God’s basic purposes of sex. There are at least three God’s basic purposes of sex—first, sex is to bring children into the world (Gen. 1:2
. Second, it is to give pleasure and mutual nurturing of human spirit of married partners but in oral sex, it is not achieved. Third, intimacy between husband and wife is symbolized by ChristÂ’s relationship with His Church. Christ is the Bridegroom and the Church is the bride. (Eph 5:23-25, 31-33)
5. Yes, it distorts oneÂ’s sexuality. Those who engage heavily in oral sex have difficulty enjoying natural sex.
The Possible Effects of Oral Sex.
1. Misuse of the natural function of any human organ of the physical body is affront to God. The human body is the LordÂ’s and we are custodian of it (1 Cor 6:15,19). Oral sex is a sex perversion for the doer sins against his own body (1 Cor 6:1
.
2. Every sin has its’ consequence. Thus when a person sows sexual sin, he or she reaps sexual problem. Hosea speaks of ‘sows to the wind and you will reap a whirlwind.’ (Hos. 8:7)
One of the sexual problems is that the husband loses his natural sex-drive for natural sex act. He seeks his sexual pleasures through oral sex. It may start out of curiosity but it progresses into an obsession. Oral sex controls his sex-drive and sexual pleasure. He becomes a slave to this sex technique.
Second, there are reports by wives that their husband cannot consummate without oral sex. So, they cannot stop having oral sex for that means no sex in their marriage.
In short, perversion brings no satisfaction.
3. Your sexual behaviour affect your relationship with God. There is a link between sex and your own spiritual life. The book of Leviticus contains some very interesting laws between the sexual and the spiritual (Lev. 15,1
.
A wayward sex life is the first step toward wholesale spiritual decay both in individual life as well as the life of a nation. Cities of Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed by fire from heaven for their sexual perversion.
God command His people against sexual perversion and warned itsÂ’ consequence in Genesis 18.
“Do not defile yourselves in any of these ways, because this is how the nations that I am going to drive out before you became defiled. Even the land was defiled; so I punished it for its sin and the land vomited out its inhabitants. But you must keep my decrees and my laws. The native-born and the aliens living among you must not do any of these detestable things, for all these things were done by the people who lived in the land before you, and the land became defiled. And if you defile the land, it will vomit you out as it vomited out the nations that were before you.
Everyone who does any of these detestable things—such persons must be cut off from their people. Keep any of the requirements and do not follow any of the detestable customs that were practiced before you came and do not defile yourselves with them. I am the Lord your God.” Lev. 18:24-30.
How to catch ‘this little fox’ in our sexuality?
1. Own up to your spouse. Tell at least one other trustworthy person the exact nature of the sin.
2. Admit to yourself that you have been powerless up to now with this sin and that you need help to get free.
3. Seek the forgiveness of your spouse.
4. Repent of the sin of oral sex together as a couple before the Lord. (2 Cor 7:1)
5. Receive the forgiveness of God for you, forgives all others, and forgive yourself. Healing cannot happen without forgiveness.
6. Change your belief systems, thinking and behaviour.
7. Know the things that trigger ungodly sexual behaviour and learn to avoid them.
8. Seek healing for the restoration of oneÂ’s sexuality.
9. Receive deliverance from perverse spirits.
10. Go and sin no more (Jn 8:11).
11. Put Jesus Lord over your sex-life.
