More tooopid jokes = p
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Condom says to Kotex, "When you work, I lose seven days of business."
Kotex replies, "If you fail to work once, my business stops for nine months
============================
A camel and an elephant met, and the elephant asked: "Why do you have your
t|ts on your back?"
The camel responded: "What a silly question from someone who has a dick on
his face!"
==============================
A black guy and a white girl met at a nite club. She took him to her
apartment and said: "tie me to the bed and do what black men do best!"
So he ran off with the TV and VCD...
===============================
Wife: "I wish I were a newspaper, so you can hold me every morning!"
Husband: "I wish you're a newspaper TOO, my dear so I can have a NEW ONE
every morning!
===========================
A Chinese couple got married. When baby was born, her eyes were big and
blue, hair was curly and blonde, skin was brown.
Finally, name of the baby was SAM TING LONG ("some thing wrong")
==============================
A lady visited her doctor one morning.
Doc said: "You look so weak and exhausted! Are you eating your meals 3
times a day as I advised?"
Lady : "Doc, I thought you said 3 males a day!"
============================
Phone rings and maid picks up the phone as her master is bathing.....
When the caller asked what's he doing, the maid Replied:
" MASTURBATING " (master bathing)
=========================== -
haha... -
A boy came home and asked his mommy how he got his name.
The mommy sat down on the chair and explained slowly to the boy.
"You see, when your brother was born, your daddy open the door and saw the clear blue sky...and so your brother is called Sky", the mother said.
After sippnig a glass of water, she continued," Your elder sister was born tat time, your dad opened the door and saw the starry nite sky, and so she was named Star".
"Now u know why your name is call cowdung?" 
______________________
Devil Croco -
Got this mail from my fren
Miss World Final Questions
This is what I called creative thinking.
Same question, different answers.
Looking at things from another perspective.
Question : Ms America, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms America : Well, I can say that male organs in America are like gentlemen.
Question : How can you say so?
Ms America : Because it stands every time it sees a woman........
(Applause! Applause!)
Question : Ms Spain, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Spain : Male organs in our country are like our very own Bullfight or Toro(Bull).
Question : How can you say so?
Ms Spain : Because it charges every time it sees an opening.
(Applause! Applause!)
Question : Ms Philippines, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Philippines : Well, I can say that male organs in our country are like gossip or rumors.
Question : How can you say so?
Ms Philippines : Because it passes from mouth to mouth.
(Applause! Applause! Standing Ovation! Applause! Applause!)
Question : Ms Iran, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Iran : Well, I can say that male organs in Iran are like thieves.
Question : How can you say so?
Ms Iran : Because they like to enter through the back door.
(Applause! Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! Applause!)
Question : Ms India, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms India : Well, I can say the male organs in India are like labourers.
Question : How can you say so?
Ms India : Because it works day and night......
(Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause!)
Question : Ms Malaysia, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Malaysia : Well, I can say that Male Organs in Malaysia are like Proton car.
Question : How can you say so?
Ms Malaysia : Look tough but actually very soft.
(Applause! Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! Applause!)
Question : Ms Singapore,how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Singapore : Well, I can say that male organ in Singapore is very Kiasu (Afraid to lose).
Question : How can you say so?
Ms Singapore : It always wants to rush in quick and leave 15 minutes before the show is over.
(Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause!)
[~~The End~~] -
Sardar Singh to salesman: I want curtains for my computer.
Salesman: But Sir, computers don't need curtains.
Sadar: Hellooooooo, my computer has WINDOWS! -
Originally posted by homerun:Sardar Singh to salesman: I want curtains for my computer.
Salesman: But Sir, computers don't need curtains.
Sadar: Hellooooooo, my computer has WINDOWS!
not applicable to those using Unix or Linux OS
______________________
I am Croco, Croco am I
Croco Movie -
-
wei why u every post also laugh one.. can't u just chat with me and stuck in a post~Originally posted by Dj_Shadow: -
This one is really dumb..
"Doc," says Steve, "I want to be castrated."
"What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement.
"It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done" replies Steve.
"But have you thought it through properly?" asks the doctor, "It's a very serious operation and once it's done, there's no going back. It will change your life forever!"
"I'm aware of that and you're not going to change my mind -- either you book me in to be castrated or I'll simply go to another doctor."
"Well, OK.", says the doctor, "But it's against my better judgment!"
So Steve has his operation, and the next day he is up and walking very slowly, legs apart, down the hospital corridor with his drip stand. Heading towards him is another patient, who is walking exactly the same way.
"Hi there," says Steve,"It looks as if you've just had the same operation as me."
"Well," said the patient, "I finally decided after 37 years of life that I would like to be circumcised."
Steve stared at him in horror and screamed, "Shit! THAT'S the word!” -
haha the one i heard goes like this:Originally posted by sgboy2004:A boy came home and asked his mommy how he got his name.
The mommy sat down on the chair and explained slowly to the boy.
"You see, when your brother was born, your daddy open the door and saw the clear blue sky...and so your brother is called Sky", the mother said.
After sippnig a glass of water, she continued," Your elder sister was born tat time, your dad opened the door and saw the starry nite sky, and so she was named Star".
"Now u know why your name is call cowdung?"
______________________
Devil Croco
a red indian boy askes his father, the chief, about he and his siblings' names.
papa, why is brother named running deer?
because when he was born, i stepped out of the tepee and i saw a deer run past.
then why is sister named soaring eagle?
when she was born, i stepped out of the tepee and i saw an eagle soaring high in the sky. now, why do u ask, F*cking dog? -
eeeeeeeeeeyerrrrrrrrOriginally posted by sgboy2004:A boy came home and asked his mommy how he got his name.
The mommy sat down on the chair and explained slowly to the boy.
"You see, when your brother was born, your daddy open the door and saw the clear blue sky...and so your brother is called Sky", the mother said.
After sippnig a glass of water, she continued," Your elder sister was born tat time, your dad opened the door and saw the starry nite sky, and so she was named Star".
"Now u know why your name is call cowdung?"
______________________
Devil Croco
copy from contestant in the Guess x 3 show
lame ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh -
HAHAHAAH!Originally posted by realitybites:Condom says to Kotex, "When you work, I lose seven days of business."
Kotex replies, "If you fail to work once, my business stops for nine months
============================
A camel and an elephant met, and the elephant asked: "Why do you have your
t|ts on your back?"
The camel responded: "What a silly question from someone who has a dick on
his face!"
==============================
A black guy and a white girl met at a nite club. She took him to her
apartment and said: "tie me to the bed and do what black men do best!"
So he ran off with the TV and VCD...
===============================
Wife: "I wish I were a newspaper, so you can hold me every morning!"
Husband: "I wish you're a newspaper TOO, my dear so I can have a NEW ONE
every morning!
===========================
A Chinese couple got married. When baby was born, her eyes were big and
blue, hair was curly and blonde, skin was brown.
Finally, name of the baby was SAM TING LONG ("some thing wrong")
==============================
A lady visited her doctor one morning.
Doc said: "You look so weak and exhausted! Are you eating your meals 3
times a day as I advised?"
Lady : "Doc, I thought you said 3 males a day!"
============================
Phone rings and maid picks up the phone as her master is bathing.....
When the caller asked what's he doing, the maid Replied:
" MASTURBATING " (master bathing)
=========================== -
-
how's this one?
I've not spoken to my wife for 8 months... coz I don't like to interrupt her -
Two rednecks met in a bar and agreed that they weren't going anywhere in life, so they decided to go to college in order to get ahead. So they hop in a pickup truck and drive to the nearest college. While the second one waits out in the hall, the first goes into one of the rooms and finds a professor, who advises him to take math, history and logic.
"What's logic?" asked the first redneck.
The professor replied, "Let me give you an example: Do you own a weed eater?"
"I sure do," grinned the redneck.
"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.
"That's real good," the redneck responded in awe.
The professor continued, "Logic also tells me that since you have a yard, you also have a house."
Impressed, the redneck shouted, "Amazin'!"
"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."
"Betty Mae... this is incredible!" (The redneck is catching on.)
"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," says the professor.
"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard of. I can't wait to take this here logic class."
The first redneck, grinning ear to ear with pride at the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where his friend was waiting.
"So what classes are ya takin'?" the friend asked.
"Math, history and logic," replied the first redneck.
"What in tarnation is logic?" asked his new friend.
"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed eater?"
"No," his friend replied.
"You're gay, aren't ya?" -
A Russian and an American wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic gold medal.
Before the final match, the American wrestler's trainer came to him and said, "Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this 'pretzel' hold he has. Whatever you do, don't let him get you in this hold! If he does, you're finished!"
The wrestler nodded in acknowledgment. As the match started, the American and the Russian circled each other several times, looking for an opening. All of a sudden, the Russian lunged forward, grabbed the American and wrapped him up in the dreaded pretzel hold.
A sigh of disappointment arose from the crowd, and the trainer buried his face in his hands -- he knew all was lost. He couldn't even watch the ending. Suddenly, there was a scream, a cheer from the crowd, and the trainer raised his eye just in time to watch the Russian flying up in the air.
The Russian's back hit the mat with a thud, and the American collapsed on top of him, making the pin and winning the match.
The trainer was astounded. When he finally got the American wrestler alone, he asked, "How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!"
The wrestler answered, "Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold, but at the last moment I opened my eyes and saw this pair of testicles right in front of my face. I had nothing to lose, so with my last ounce of strength I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could."
"So," the trainer exclaimed, "that finished him off, did it?"
"No, but you'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own testicles!" -
7 Reasons Why It Sucks Being A Guy
1- The Ferrari 550 Maranello lists for over $200,000.
2- External genitalia are vulnerable to knees and fastballs.
3- Even if you get your head caught in an industrial wood chipper, you're not allowed to cry.
4- Ribbed for her pleasure -- not yours.
5- You have to wear ties.
6- You can't flirt your way out of a jam.
7- "Women and children first." -
Originally posted by the Bear:
[b]7 Reasons Why It Sucks Being A Guy
1- The Ferrari 550 Maranello lists for over $200,000.
2- External genitalia are vulnerable to knees and fastballs.
3- Even if you get your head caught in an industrial wood chipper, you're not allowed to cry.
4- Ribbed for her pleasure -- not yours.
5- You have to wear ties.
6- You can't flirt your way out of a jam.
7- "Women and children first."[/b]
-
Originally posted by ^sylvia^:wei why u every post also laugh one.. can't u just chat with me and stuck in a post~
-
Originally posted by the Bear:
Haiz...
[b]7 Reasons Why It Sucks Being A Guy
1- The Ferrari 550 Maranello lists for over $200,000.
2- External genitalia are vulnerable to knees and fastballs.
3- Even if you get your head caught in an industrial wood chipper, you're not allowed to cry.
4- Ribbed for her pleasure -- not yours.
5- You have to wear ties.
6- You can't flirt your way out of a jam.
7- "Women and children first."[/b]
-
Originally posted by homerun:Sardar Singh to salesman: I want curtains for my computer.
Salesman: But Sir, computers don't need curtains.
Sadar: Hellooooooo, my computer has WINDOWS! -
Originally posted by realitybites:Condom says to Kotex, "When you work, I lose seven days of business."
Kotex replies, "If you fail to work once, my business stops for nine months
============================
A camel and an elephant met, and the elephant asked: "Why do you have your
t|ts on your back?"
The camel responded: "What a silly question from someone who has a dick on
his face!"
==============================
A black guy and a white girl met at a nite club. She took him to her
apartment and said: "tie me to the bed and do what black men do best!"
So he ran off with the TV and VCD...
===============================
Wife: "I wish I were a newspaper, so you can hold me every morning!"
Husband: "I wish you're a newspaper TOO, my dear so I can have a NEW ONE
every morning!
===========================
A Chinese couple got married. When baby was born, her eyes were big and
blue, hair was curly and blonde, skin was brown.
Finally, name of the baby was SAM TING LONG ("some thing wrong")
==============================
A lady visited her doctor one morning.
Doc said: "You look so weak and exhausted! Are you eating your meals 3
times a day as I advised?"
Lady : "Doc, I thought you said 3 males a day!"
============================
Phone rings and maid picks up the phone as her master is bathing.....
When the caller asked what's he doing, the maid Replied:
" MASTURBATING " (master bathing)
===========================
Good ones!~ -
Wahahahahahahaha!~Originally posted by IamAngeline:Got this mail from my fren
Miss World Final Questions
This is what I called creative thinking.
Same question, different answers.
Looking at things from another perspective.
Question : Ms America, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms America : Well, I can say that male organs in America are like gentlemen.
Question : How can you say so?
Ms America : Because it stands every time it sees a woman........
(Applause! Applause!)
Question : Ms Spain, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Spain : Male organs in our country are like our very own Bullfight or Toro(Bull).
Question : How can you say so?
Ms Spain : Because it charges every time it sees an opening.
(Applause! Applause!)
Question : Ms Philippines, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Philippines : Well, I can say that male organs in our country are like gossip or rumors.
Question : How can you say so?
Ms Philippines : Because it passes from mouth to mouth.
(Applause! Applause! Standing Ovation! Applause! Applause!)
Question : Ms Iran, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Iran : Well, I can say that male organs in Iran are like thieves.
Question : How can you say so?
Ms Iran : Because they like to enter through the back door.
(Applause! Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! Applause!)
Question : Ms India, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms India : Well, I can say the male organs in India are like labourers.
Question : How can you say so?
Ms India : Because it works day and night......
(Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause!)
Question : Ms Malaysia, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Malaysia : Well, I can say that Male Organs in Malaysia are like Proton car.
Question : How can you say so?
Ms Malaysia : Look tough but actually very soft.
(Applause! Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! Applause!)
Question : Ms Singapore,how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Singapore : Well, I can say that male organ in Singapore is very Kiasu (Afraid to lose).
Question : How can you say so?
Ms Singapore : It always wants to rush in quick and leave 15 minutes before the show is over.
(Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause!)
[~~The End~~]
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