Q : What is the strongest muscle?
A : Tongue.... Because it can raise woman's hip
with just one lick.
Q : What is the lightest muscle?
A : Pen-s.... Because it can be raised by a
woman's lips!
Q : What is the difference between a chicken and
a baby?
A : A chicken is the result of a Sitting HEN
whereas a baby is the result of a Standing C-CK
Q : Why do men snore when lying on their backs?
A : Because their balls flop over their aZshole
and this causes an airlock!!!
Q : What is the difference between a black and a
white fairy tale?
A : White begins, "Once upon a time......." Black
begins, "Y'all mo'fu-kers a'int gonna believe this
sh-it...."
Q : What is the difference between a PANTY & a
STAGE CURTAIN?
A : When you pull down the STAGE CURTAIN, the
show is over, but, when you pull down the
PANTY..... it is showtime!!!
Q : What is the similarity between a wife and a
chewing gum?
A : Both are sweet in the beginning but become
tasteless and shapeless later.
======================================
Fact:
A woman can guide a 1.5" diameter pen-s into
an inch diameter vag-ina in pitch dark without
looking, but cannot park a 6ft long car in a 7th long
parking space in daylight!!!
The 69 position is like driving in rush hour , the
aZshole is always in front of you!
======================================
Advantages of having an affair with a married
women.
They give like hell.
They do not yell.
They do not tell.
They do not swell & there are no wedding bells!
======================================
The PuZsy Poem
This is a hole that never heals, the more you rub it
the better it feels. But all the soap from here to
hell, can never remove that fu-king smell.
======================================
My dad told me that if Adam and Eve were
Chinese, we would be still be in paradise.
Why?
Because they would have eaten the snake instead
of the bloody apple!
======================================
Newly wed girl told mom her husband is still a
virgin.
Mom asked "How do you know"
Girl replied " Last night when we made love, his
c-ck was still in plastic cover"
======================================
Bangladesh Worker: "Sir, me no come to work,
me sick"
Boss: " When I am sick, I have s-x with my wife-
try it"
2 hours later Bangladesh Worker: Boss! it
worked! Me ok now. You got nice house.
======================================
After s-x, Thai girl kept fondling man's c-ck.
Man asked: Why? Want to have s-x again.
Thai Girl replied: No lah, just admiring your c-ck. I
used to have one before.
======================================
Women's lives are hard.
Morning wash clothes.
Noon hang clothes
Evening keep clothes
Nite iron clothes
Midnight take off clothes
Few hours after midnight,..... find clothes
======================================
To make it straight she pulls it.
To make it stand she rubs it.
To make it stiff she licks it.
To let it in she pushes it.
True?
Threading a needle is not easy. *wink*.... keke
======================================
Priest lost his chicken and asked during mass:
Anyone got a c-ck?
All men rose I meant anyone seen a c-ck?.
All women rose.
I mean anyone seen my c-ck? All nuns rose.
======================================
A Sad story.
A woman's husband died & she had him
cremated.
She then blew his ashes into the ocean and said "
Sweetheart, this is my last blowjob for you".
======================================
Girl: Mom.... what is a p-nis?
MoM: When you become a good girl you will get
one.
Girl: But mom what if I am not a good girl?
Mom: Then you will get many!
======================================
A lawyer who was confused in his mathematics
asked his secretary:
If I give you $3million less 17.5%, how much would
you take off?
Secretary: Everything sir! Dress, Bra and Panties.
======================================
Schoolgirl:I do not want to take the ex Education
class.
Teacher: Why?
Schoolgirl: Someone told me that the final exam
will be Oral.
======================================
Two sperms talking on mobile;
Ist: I'm somewhere between the fallopian tube n
uterus. Are u close by?
2nd: No boy, I am taking a different route. I am just
crossing the tonsils.
======================================
Scientists have discovered that the lightest thing
in the world is a P-NIS.
This is because it can be lifted up even by a
simple thought.
=======================================
Number 5
> > A man bumps into a Woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow
> > goes into her breast. They are both quite startled.
> > The man turns
> > to her and says "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I
know
> > you'll forgive me."
>
.
> > She replies, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room
221."
>>
> > > > Number 4.
> >
> >
> > > >
> >
> >
> > > > A businessman boards a flight and is seated next to a gorgeous
woman.
> >
> >
> > > > He notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He
asks
> > her
> >
> >
> > > > about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book. It
says
> > that
> >
> >
> > > > American
> >
> >
> > > > Indians have the longest penises and Greek men are the best in
bed.
> >
> >
> > > > By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?"
> >
> >
> > > > "Tonto Papadopoulos, nice to meet you."
> >
> >
> > > >
> >
> >
> > > > Number 3.
> >
> >
> > > >
> >
> >
> > > > One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts
rubbing
> > his
> >
> >
> > > > wife's arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've
got
a
> >
> >
> > > > gynaecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."
> >
> >
> > > >
> >
> >
> > > > The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he
rolls
back
> >
> >
> > > > over and taps his wife again. "Do you have a dentist
appointment
> >
> >
> > > > tomorrow to=?"
> >
> >
> > > >
> >
> >
> > > > Number 2.
> >
> >
> > > >
> >
> >
> > > > Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for
a
> > number
> >
> >
> > > > of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that
he
had
> >
> >
> > > > terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the
> pickle
> >
> >
> > > > slicer.
> >
> >
> > > > His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk
about
> > it,
> >
> >
> > > > but
> >
> >
> > > > Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the
> >
> >
> > > > compulsion
> >
> >
> > > > on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home.
> >
> >
> > > >
> >
> >
> > > > His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.
> >
> >
> > > > "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked.
> > > > "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge
to
> >
> >
> > > > put my penis into the pickle slicer?"
> >
> >
> > > >
> >
> >
> > > > "Oh, Bill, you didn't."
> > > > "Yes, I did."
> > > > "My God, Bill, what happened?"
> > > > "I got fired."
> >
> >
> > > > "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"
> > > > "Oh...she got fired too."
> >
> >
> > > >
> >
> >
> > > > Number 1.
> >
> >
> > > >
> >
> >
> > > > A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at
the
> > > > breakfast
> > > > table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years
ago
we
> > > > were
> >
> >
> > > > sitting here at this breakfast table together."
> > > > "I know," the old man said, "We were probably sitting here
naked as
> > > > jaybirds
> > > > fifty years ago."
> > > > "Well," Granny snickered, "Let's relive some old times."
> >
> >
> > > > Whereupon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the
table.
> > > > "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied,
"My
> > nipples
> > > > are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."
> >
> >
> > > > "I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your
coffee
and
> > the
> > > > other is in your oatmeal."
=========================================
Two ladies went through the custom check point after an
>>oversea
>> > > trip. Customer Officer found Lady A had seven branded panties
>>in
>> > > her luggage.
>> > > When Lady A said the panties were not bought oveaseas, the
>>Customer
>> > > Officer asked: "Why do you need to bring seven panties on an
>> > > oveasea trip?" Lady A replied: "I do not do washing when I am
>>abroad.
>> > > Don't you know that one week has seven days?"
>> > > She was let go without having to pay tax.
>> > > Customer Officer then opened the suitcase of Lady B and found
>>twelve
>> > > panties. When she insisted that she brought them from home,
>>the Custom
>> > > Officer asked: "Why do you need to bring twelve panties on an
>>oversea
>> > > trip?" The offended Lady B replied: "I also do not wash when I
>>travel.
>> > > Don't you know that one year has twelve months?"
>> > >
>> > >
>>-----------------------------------------------------------------
>> > >
>> > > Once upon a time Cinderella was so horny so she put
>>Pinocchio's nose
>> > > between her legs and shouted, "Lie to me Bastard, Lie!!"
>> > >
>> > > Get it????
>> > >
>> > >
>>-----------------------------------------------------------------
>> > >
>> > > Tamil ladies are always looking for sex. Each time they come
>>across
>> > > a guy, they would fold their hands, look down and say
>>"wannacum"?????
>> > >
>> > > ("Wannacum" in tamil actually means "hello"!
>> > >
>> > >
>>-----------------------------------------------------------------
>> > >
>> > > Why do newly-weds have a 7 days honeymoon and not 6 or 8 days?
>> > >
>> > > Because 7 days make the whole(hole) week(weak)!
>> > >
>> > >
>>-----------------------------------------------------------------
>> > >
>> > > Three men were chatting in the pub. The topic was on sports.
>> > > The China Man from Taiwan said: "I have four daughters, one
>>more
>> > > I can form a basketball team."
>> > > The rich tycoon from Indonesia said: "I have five sons, one
>>more
>> > > I can have a volleyball team."
>> > > The third wealthy man from the Middle East has no children.
>> > > After some hesitation, he said: "I have 17 wives, one more I
>>can
>> > > have a golf course."
>> > >
>> > >
>>-----------------------------------------------------------------
>> > >
>> > > Two men doing a crossword puzzle.
>> > >
>> > > 1st Man : Clue 1 is "Old MacDonald has a ....?"
>> > > 2nd Man : "Farm" I think.
>> > > 1st Man : "Yeah, that's right. Er... How do you spell "farm"?
>> > > 2nd Man : "Ummm... I dunno... maybe it is "eieio"?
>> > >
>> > >
>>-----------------------------------------------------------------
>> > >
>> > > Question: What is the similarity between woman and aeroplane?
>> > > Answer: They both have "cock-pits".
>> > >
>> > > Question: What is the difference between a woman having a bath
>> > > on a Sunday morning, and one going to church on a Sunday
>>morning?"
>> > > Answer: The woman going to the church has "a soul full of
>>hope"
>> > > and the one having a bath "has a hole full of soap".
>> > >
>> > >
>>-----------------------------------------------------------------
>> > >
>> > > One day an elephant met a camel.
>> > > Elephant asked, "Why your neh neh grow at your back?"
>> > > Camel angry, said, "Why don't you ask yourself why your "ku ku
>>jiao"
>> > > grow on your face?"
>> > >
>> > >
>>-----------------------------------------------------------------
>> > >
>> > > The boss came out from his room and said "Wah! Got cake ah!
>>Who buy?
>> > >
>> > > All the staff replied - "Chee Buy Lah!!!!!"
>> > >
>> > >
>>-----------------------------------------------------------------
>> > >
>> > > A mother and her son were flying Qantas from Perth to Sydney.
>> > > The son, who had been looking out the window, turned to his
>>mother
>> > > and said, "Why don't big planes have baby planes?"
>> > >
>> > > The mother, who couldn't think of an answer, told her son to
>>ask the
>> > > flight attendant.
>> > >
>> > > So, the little boy asked the flight attendant, "If big dogs
>>have baby
>> > > dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have
>>baby
>> >planes?"
>> > >
>> > > The flight attendant asked, "Did your mother tell you to ask
>>me that?"
>> > > The boy said that she had.
>> > > With a clever grin, the flight attendant said, "Tell your
>>mother it's
>> > > because Qantas always pulls out on time."
hope you guys enjoy reading and have a great laugh from all these jokes
More jokes okay... 
