<SPOILER-Ep5> Desperate Housewives

• icebaby0

  20 Apr 05, 15:26

  Episode 5 - Come In Stranger
  
  Part 1
  
  A woman walks to her mailbox, smiling at a passing bicylist.
  
  "Every neighborhood has a woman like Alberta Frome. And every woman like Mrs. Frome has a cat. When she traveled, Mrs. From would arrange for friends to look after her beloved cat. This time however, she was forced to ask her neighbor, Susan Mayer. Mrs. Frome liked Susan. But it was common knowledge on Wisteria Lane: where Susan Mayer went, bad luck was sure to follow. Her misfortunes ranged from the commonplace..."
  Susan backs up her car, knocking down the trashcan.
  
  "to the unusual..."
  
  Susan is at party, talking, when she leans against a table. It collapses, and she with it, landing face first in the cake that was on the table.
  
  "to the truly bizarre."
  Susan puts birdseed in a bird feeder in her front lawn and a bird starts flying around her hair, refusing to leave.
  
  "As she waved good bye, she worried that Susan's streak of bad luck would continue. For that matter, so did her cat."
  At night, Susan and Julie enter Mrs. Frome's house.
  
  Susan: "Mr. Whiskers!"
  Julie: "Kitty"
  Susan: "Dinnertime!"
  Julie: "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty!"
  Susan walks around the kitchen counter and notices that drawers are open.
  
  Susan: "That's weird. Cats can't open drawers can they?"
  Julie: "Are you sure you didn't leave them open this morning?"
  Susan: "No, why?"
  Julie: "Wow. Do you think somebody broke in?"
  At the same time, they both notice a screwdriver lying on the counter. They stare at it, then start calling the cat's name frantically.
  
  As they walk off, a door off to the kitchen opens, and a man walks out. His face is in the shadows. He slips out the front door quietly, with Mr. Whiskers following him.
  A few seconds later, the door opens again and Mr. Whiskers is placed back inside of the house.
  
  "Though she didn't know it at the time, Susan's luck had finally started to change."
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  Credits
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  "News that an intruder had breached the security of Wisteria Lane had spread like wildfire. At a neighborhood watch meeting the next night, residents voiced their concerns over the increasing dangers their community faced.
  Mrs. Ida Greenberg announced someone was looking through her bathroom window whenever she took a shower. Bob Fisk warned those present that an unnamed government agency was listening in on their phone conversations. Helen Vale spoke of a ruthless local teenage gang that had egged her minivan."
  
  A handsome policeman stands in front of a group of neighbors, giving safety advice.
  
  "The evening concluded with Officer Thompson offering safety tips and a plan of action."
  As Office Thompson speaks, Susan turns in her chair to find Mike. She sees him and waves. He nods back, stone-faced. She turns back around.
  
  Officer Thompson: "But opportunity, you have some control over. So you can sign up for either daily or nightly patrols. I know that might seem like overkill, but I guarantee, regular surveillance will deter even the most determined criminal. Are there any other questions? All right, then. Let's be careful out there."
  Everyone claps.
  
  Susan goes up to Office Thompson.
  Susan: "Actually, I do have a question. Do you have a second?"
  Office Thompson: "Sure. How can I help?"
  Susan: "Um, I'm the one who discovered the break-in and I think I found some evience."
  Office Thompson: "Evidence?"
  Susan: "I think this is a screwdriver left behind by the burgeler."
  She hands him the screwdriver in a plastic bag.
  
  Susan: "And I didn't touch it."
  Office Thompson: "Why didn't you give this to the investigating officers?"
  Susan: "I tried and they sort of laughed at me because apparently nothing was taken from Mrs. Frome's house."
  Office Thompson: "Well, I apologize for that. That was totally unprofessional."
  Susan: "Thank you. So you think it shoudl be dusted for prints?"
  Office Thompson: "Yes. And I'll make sure it gets done."
  Susan: "Great."
  Mike looks over at them as they talk, not happy.
  
  Susan leaves and Officer Thompson watches her go, with a smile on his face.
  Later, the women help clean up as Lynette sees the last neighbor out. Her twins are hitting each other with pillows on the couch.
  
  Lynette: "Boys, stop it. Go to bed."
  Twin: "But we're not tired."
  Lynette: "Well, at least go upstairs!"
  Twin: "We wanna play!"
  Lynette: "Hey, look!"
  She takes a bag of chips and dangles it in front of them. They grab for it and she throws it up the stairs.
  
  Lynette: "Go! Go, go!"
  Lynette turns around to find Bree staring at her. Bree raises her hands in surrender and turns away.
  In the kitchen, Gabrielle and Susan are putting away food.
  
  Gabrielle: "So why weren't you sitting with Mike tonight? I thought you two were becoming an item."
  Susan: "I sort of thought so, too. I'm getting a lot of mixed signals."
  Gabrielle: "I'll tell you who wasn't giving mixed signals was that sexy Officer Thompson. He was staring at you all night."
  Susan: "You noticed that?"
  Gabrielle: "Honey, trust me. When they're not staring at me, I notice."
  In the living room...
  
  Lynette: "I really do appreciate you guys staying and helping."
  Bree: "Oh, please. I would have hosted it myself, but the kids are going to the mountains tomorrow and there's camping equipment everywhere."
  Lynette: "It's nice of you and since we're talking, there's something else nice I'd like you to do. Your kids both went to Barcliff Academy, didn't they?"
  Bree: "Yes."
  Lynette: "We need you to recommend Porter and Preston. We can't even get an interview."
  Bree: "Oh, you, um, want me to recommend the twins?"
  Lynette: "Yes. You can tell them how beautifully behaved the boys are."
  Bree: "So you want me to lie."
  Lynette: "Yeah. I thought that was understood."
  Bree: "Well, it's just that I'm very well respected at Barcliff and um, my word won't be good there anymore."
  Lynette: "Yes, but by the time they realize their mistake, we'll be in. You're not having any more kids. What do you care?"
  Bree: "Well, I had hoped someday to get my grandchildren into Barcliff, but I suppose that doesn't matter to you, does it?"
  Lynette: "It really doesn't."
  
  As Susan and Gabrielle open the front door to take out the trash, they hear yelling coming from Zach and Paul's house. All four women stand in the doorway to listen.
  
  Gabrielle: "Paul and Zach are fighting again."
  Lynette: "It's the second time this week. They never used to fight like that when Mary Alice was alive."
  Susan: "It's a shame. They used to be such a happy family."
  Bree: "Just because you didn't hear them fighting doesn't mean they were happy."
  The women turn to look at her.
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  "The next day, as residents began to patrol Wisteria Lane in the hopes of foiling potential burgelers, Gabrielle was about to experience a home invasion of her own."
  A cab pulls up into the Solis's driveway as Gabrielle comes down the walk. An older woman gets out of the cab.
  
  Gabrielle: "Mama Solis! What, what are you doing here?"
  Mama Solis: "I came to visit my son and daughter-in-law. What does it look like?"
  Gabrielle: "Does Carlos know you're coming?"
  Mama Solis: "No. He likes to be surprised." She opens her arms for a hug. "Now, come. Gabrielle."
  They hug.
  Mama Solis: "Family should always hug. [whispers into Gabrielle's ear] Regardless of how they feel about each other."
  She walks away, leaving Gabrielle to deal with the luggage.
• icebaby0

  20 Apr 05, 15:28

  Part 2
  
  Barcliff Academy
  Mr. Lance opens up a file on Preston Scavo. As he looks it over, Lynette and Tom sit nervously in front of his desk. Tom notices that the man has a lot of pictures of his boat on his desk.
  
  Tom: "Wow. Uh, she's a beauty. A thirty-footer?"
  Mr. Lance: "Thirty-two."
  Tom: "Sweet. I sail. How about that. I got a flying scott."
  Mr. Lance: "Well, we have several yachting enthusiasts at Barcliff Academy. I'd be happy to introduce them to you."
  Lynette: "Oh, that sounds great."
  Tom: "Wonderful."
  Mr. Lance: "If we decide to enroll your children. To be honest, Mr. and Mrs. Scavo, your children's educational background is a bit more common than we would prefer. But Mrs. Van De Kamp mentioned that they were identical twins?"
  Lynette: "Yes. Completely identical. You can't tell them apart. They're like bookends."
  Mr. Lance: "We do strive for diversity here at Barcliff. Identical twins could make for an interesting addition."
  Lynette: "The boys are fascinating. They even have their own twin secret language, don't they Tom?"
  Tom: "Yeah, yeah, it's pretty scary."
  Lynette: "Not, not really so much scary as highly developed."
  Tom: "Yeah, they, they, they, bark and growl at each other."
  Lynette: "Mr. Lance was trying to say something. Go ahead, Mr. Lance."
  Mr. Lance: "I'd love to meet these twins of yours. I tell you what. I'm going to put them on our must-meet list."
  Tom: "Terrific."
  Lynette: "Thank you so much. What is a must-meet list?"
  Mr. Lance: "We bring them in for observation."
  Lynette: "Observation?"
  Mr. Lance: "Mmm hmm. To see how they play with the other children. How they respond to authority. That sort of thing."
  Tom: "Great."
  Lynette: "That sounds wonderful."
  They nod to each other.
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  Bree's House
  Bree is fixing lunch in the kitchen when Rex walks in.
  
  Rex: "Hey."
  Bree: "Hi."
  Rex: "Kids ready?"
  Bree: "Almost. Thanks again for driving them to the bus."
  Rex: "Happy to do it. I miss 'em."
  Bree: "Did you hear there was a break in at Mrs. Frome's the other night?"
  Rex: "Yeah. I heard they didn't take anything."
  Bree: "Well, that doesn't make it any less frightening. I mean, he could have been a sexual predator."
  Rex: "And he ended up at Mrs. Frome's? That would have been a lose-lose situation."
  Bree: "Rex. That's not the point. The point is, I don't feel safe. And I was wondering if you could spend the night."
  Rex: "You're in the NRA. You own, like, four guns. If someone broke in, I'd expect you to protect me."
  Bree: "Rex. The truth is, with the kids gone, I'll be all by myself in this house for the first time in seventeen years."
  Rex: "Honey, I know it's hard to hear, but the marriage counseling might not work out. You need to get used to being alone."
  Bree: "You're right. That was hard to hear."
  
  He takes a sandwich and Bree grabs it out of his hand.
  
  Rex: "What are you doing?"
  Bree: "That is for the kids trip."
  Rex: "Oh, come on. I'm, I'm staying at a motel. I haven't had a decent meal in weeks."
  Bree: "Honey! The marriage counseling might not work out. You need to get used to bad cooking."
  She walks out.
  --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  Outside Susan's House
  Susan is watering her lawn when a cop car slows down and stops.
  
  Officer Thompson: "Hey. Screwdriver girl. I just came by to tell you that I took your evidence into the lab for fingerprints."
  Susan: "Oh, really? That's great."
  Officer Thompson: "So I'll call you if I hear something."
  Susan: "Okay."
  She accidentally sprays him on the feet with the hose.
  
  Susan: "Ooh! Sorry.
  Officer Thompson: "Thanks. Um, actually, I'd like to call you anyway, if -- if that's okay."
  Susan: "Oh. You seem like a really sweet guy in an interesting line of work, but I am not really available."
  Officer Thompson: "Oh. Oh. You have a boyfriend?"
  Susan: "Yeah, sort of."
  Officer Thompson: "Sort of."
  Susan: "It's hard to explain...even to myself."
  Woman on Radio: "Unit 23, we have a 907a in progress at Stone and Maple. Please respond."
  Officer Thompson: "10-4. I'm on my way. I've got to go. Apparently,there's a hostage situation."
  Susan: "Oh, wow."
  Officer Thompson: "So you're really turning me down. Boy, my self-esteem can't take this."
  Susan: "I'm sorry."
  Officer Thompson: "No, it's just now my ability to help those hostages has been compromised. Still, don't, don't blame yourself for what might happen."
  Susan: "Blame myself."
  Officer Thompson: "Yeah, well, it's just hard to rescue folks when you don't feel good about yourself. Ah, they'll probably all die anyway."
  Susan: "Okay, fine. I'll go out with you."
  Officer Thompson: "Great. I'll call you."
  Susan: "Now that you've gotten your date, you can tell me what that really means -- that 907a."
  Officer Thompson: "Someone's TV was playing too loud."
  Susan: "Well, thank God for the thin blue line."
  Officer Thompson: "I'll call you."
  Susan turns back to water her lawn and manages to spray herself with water.
  Susan: "Ooh! Oh."
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  Gabrielle's House
  Mama Solis and Carlos talk in the living room.
  
  Mama Solis: "Cómo estami tía tenchita, hmm?"
  Carlos: "Esta bien."
  Gabrielle walks past them to go outside.
  
  Gabrielle: "I'll be outside doing my yoga."
  Carlos: "Mama, sietate. I'll be right back. Do you have to do that now? My mother's here."
  Gabrielle: "Hey, I'm not going to stop my life just because she decides to show up unannounced, I might add."
  Carlos: "She's family. She doesn't need an invitation."
  Gabrielle: "Yeah, well, whatever. It's rude."
  
  Carlos goes back inside to where Mama Solis is knitting.
  
  Carlos: "That's real pretty, mama. You were always good with your hands."
  Mama Solis: "So, mijo, I assume you didn't insist that I travel 2,000 miles for small talk. So why am I here?"
  Carlos: "She...is unhappy."
  Mama Solis: "Mm-hmm."
  Carlos: "I've given her everything she ever wanted, but it doesn't seem to make a difference, and I feel her drifting further and further away. And lately I've started thinking that maybe..."
  Mama Solis: "So you think she's cheating on you?"
  Carlos: "I think so."
  He starts crying and Mama Solis slaps him across the face.
  
  Mama Solis: "We can talk about your problems, but I'm not going to have any of that."
  Carlos: "Si."
  Mama Solis: "Do you have any proof?"
  Carlos: "No, it's -- It's just a feeling."
  Mama Solis: "I had that feeling with your father and that whore waitress, and I was right. Always trust your feelings."
  Carlos: "So what do I do?"
  Mama Solis: "You don't do anything. I'll take care of it."
  Carlos: "Thank you, mama."
  Mama Solis: "I'm sorry I had to hit you, but we're strong people, and we don't cry about our problems. We find ways to fix them."
  
• icebaby0

  20 Apr 05, 15:33

  Part 3
  
  Lynette's House
  
  "While the residents of Wisteria Lane kept up their patrols in an effort to prevent future break-ins, Lynette hatched a plan to break her children into Barcliff Academy."
  
  Lynette: "Boys? Wake up. Come on. We're going to have some fun today. Come on. Yeah. Hey."
  Twins: "Hi."
  
  She puts them to work at various activities, from running, to pulling her on a sled, to digging a hole in the front yard.
  
  Lynette: "Come on, I bet you can beat me! Come on! Go, go, go! Come on! Yes, yes -- mush, doggies, mush! Mush, mush, mush!"
  Twin: "Mom, I'm tired. How long do we have to do this?"
  Lynette: "Hey, if I can still see your head, the pool's not deep enough."
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  Barcliff Academy
  
  Porter and Parker are seated quietly at a table, working silently on puzzles. One of the twins puts his head down on the table. Lynette and the man from the school watch the boys through a window.
  
  Mr. Lance: "Are your boys usually so docile?"
  Lynette: "They're always a little shy at first. Look at that concentration. Porter loves his puzzles."
  Mr. Lance: "Hmm."
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  Gabrielle's House
  As Gabrielle and Mama Solis sit in front of the TV, watching a soap opera, Gabrielle's cell phone chirps and she looks at the display, which reads "Meet me at the hotel."
  Gabrielle: "Mama, I'll be right back. I'm going to the store."
  Mama Solis: "Gabrielle. I'm coming with you. I want to make some tamales for Carlos."
  Gabrielle: "No, no, Juanita, I'm not going to the supermarket. I'm going to the lingerie store."
  Mama Solis: "Good. I need some bras."
  Gabrielle: "I'm going to be a while. And I, I might get a facial."
  Mama Solis: "I have a face."
  
  Outside of Mike's House
  Susan walks up to Mike, who's carrying things in from his SUV.
  Susan: "Hey, Mike."
  Mike: "Hey. How's it going?"
  Susan: "Good, good. Just came by to say hello."
  Mike: "Hello."
  Susan: "So you remember the cop from the neighborhood watch meeting? Uh, he agreed to run a fingerprint check on the screwdriver I found at Mrs. Frome's house."
  Mike: "He did? Nothing was taken."
  Susan: "Still, somebody broke in. It is a crime. So the weird thing is the cop asked me out on a date."
  Mike: "Oh?"
  Susan: "And I sort of said yes. I was just curious what you thought about that."
  Mike: "You're asking my permission to go out with him?"
  Susan: "No, no, I just, uh...was wondering your opinion."
  Mike: "Well, I don't really have one."
  Susan: "Okay. Great. Fine. Thank you."
  Mike: "Susan, wait, wait. I...look, I'm sorry. My life is just...really complicated right now."
  Susan: "You don't have to explain."
  Mike: "Susan."
  Susan: "It's complicated. I get it."
  She walks away.
  
  Mike goes back into his garage and moves away the box he had been carrying earlier, revealing a set of screwdrivers, one of which is obviously missing.
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  Paul and Zach Young's House
  Bree knocks on their front door, which is cracked open. She peeks her head in and sees Zach sitting on the floor with cleaning supplies, cleaning a stain on the floor.
  
  Bree: "Paul? Paul! Oh, hi, Zachary. I'm sorry. The door was open, and..."
  Zach: "It's okay. You can come in."
  Bree: "Is your, uh, father here? We were scheduled to do a patrol today."
  Zach: "He had to go out of town -- again."
  Bree: "Oh. Well, I guess I can do it by myself. Wow. This place is just immaculate."
  Zach: "My mom liked things clean."
  Bree: "Zach, she would be very proud of you. [she gasps] What happened to your varnish?"
  Zach: "That's where my mother died. I messed up the floor trying to get out the blood."
  Bree: "Oh."
  Zach: "I'll let my dad know that you stopped by."
  Bree: "Okay. [she turns to go, then turns back around] Zach...do you have plans for dinner?"
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  Mall
  Gabrielle and Mama Solis browse through the racks of lingerie.
  
  Mama Solis: "So you shop a lot, huh?"
  Gabrielle: "Yeah. So?"
  Mama Solis: "Most women that shop a lot, it's because they don't have anything better to do."
  Gabrielle: "What's your point?"
  Mama Solis: "Well, if you had children..."
  Gabrielle: "Here we go."
  Mama Solis: "I'm just saying that children give your life a purpose. You get so busy taking care of them that you don't have any time to wonder if you're happy."
  Gabrielle: "You know, Juanita, this is so like you. I invite you on a nice shopping trip, and you find ways to upset me."
  Mama Solis: "Oh, you didn't invite me. I invited myself. You keep looking at your watch. Is there someplace you have to be?"
  Gabrielle: "No! You know, and for the record, I am not one of those women who has a hole in her heart that can only be filled by a baby. I like my life a lot. It's very fulfilling."
  She walks off. Mama Solis looks at another woman who was watching the whole thing.
  
  Mama Solis: "Excuse my daughter-in-law. She's very fulfilled."
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  Lynette's Front Yard
  As Susan and Lynette talk, Lynette shovels dirt into the holes that her children made earlier.
  
  Lynette: "So, he just blew you off?"
  Susan: "I told him another man asked me out. It was the perfect opportunity for Mike to be jealous, and nothing."
  Lynette: "Did you bat your eyes? You know, it doesn't work if you don't bat your eyes."
  Susan: "Honey, I batted everything that wasn't nailed down. I'm telling you, nothing."
  She hands Lynette the bottle of water she's drinking.
  
  Lynette: "Oh, thanks."
  Susan: "So what's going on there?"
  Lynette: "Mm. Gophers."
  Susan: "Wow."
  Lynette: "Listen, I'm sorry about Mike. I know how much you like him."
  Susan: "Ah, maybe it's my fault. Maybe I just imagined an entire relationship with this man that didn't exist."
  Lynette: "There has been flirting. I have seen it."
  Susan: "Yeah, and the flirting made me think that he was kind and trustworthy and honest and hygienic. That's how it is with me -- a guy just smiles at me three times, and I'm picking out wedding china. I'm a mess."
  Lynette: "But to be fair,that's part of your charm."
  Susan: "That's what happened with Carl. I only dated him a couple of months, I filled in the blanks, I married him. It was a disaster."
  Lynette: "You think Mike is a Carl in disguise?"
  Susan: "I don't know. What does that mean, anyway,'my life is complicated'?"
  
• icebaby0

  20 Apr 05, 15:34

  Part 4
  
  Children's Soccer Field
  An older man sits at a park bench, watching children on the field playing soccer.
  Mike comes up to him and sits down next to him.
  
  Man: "If I wanted to sit around and wait for nothing, I could do it on the can. You're late. What's with the face?"
  Mike: "I screwed up. I broke into the Frome house and almost got caught."
  Man: "What's almost?"
  Mike: "I accidentally left something behind with my prints on it."
  Man: "Did you ever hear of gloves?"
  Mike: "It's the suburbs. I didn't think it'd matter. Anyway, the police are running a check, and I'm in the system. I got to pull up stakes before they come looking for me."
  They sit, watching the children yell and laugh.
  
  Man: "That's a sweet sound -- laughter like that, huh? Pisses me off. If and when your cover is blown, you disappear. Until then, you keep fixing the neighbors' pipes."
  Mike: "The more time I spend in this town, the more I think we're making a mistake. These are nice people."
  Man: "My money says one of 'em isn't."
  A soccer ball comes rolling up to him and he stops it with his foot. A young boy comes running up for him.
  
  Man: "Whoa."
  Boy: "Thanks." He runs off.
  Man (to Mike): "No more screwups."
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  Gabrielle's House
  Gabrielle and Mama Solis are watching a soap opera. Mama Solis is very into it and Gabrielle is disgusted.
  
  Gabrielle: "I'm getting something to drink. Do you want something?"
  Mama Solis: "Shh."
  Gabrielle sneaks out to a shed on her lawn. Mrs. Solis doesn't notice. John is there.
  
  Gabrielle: "Look, don't be mad."
  John: "I waited at that motel for three hours for you. I had to use a month's worth of lunch money to pay for that room."
  Gabrielle: "It's not my fault. Juanita hasn't let me out of her sight since she's gotten here."
  John: "Really? Well, I don't see her now."
  Gabrielle: "She's watching her Mexican soap opera. The rebel's virgin daughter's about to be seduced by the escaped desperado. So until she puts out...Juanita won't even know that I'm gone. Come on. I said I was sorry."
  John: "You know, just so you know, I've turned down half the pep squad for you."
  Gabrielle (laughing): "You can't be serious."
  John: "No. You know,I'm starting to think that maybe I should be with someone my own age."
  Gabrielle: "Well, I thought teenage girls bored you, John. I thought what we had was beyond that."
  John: "So did I."
  Gabrielle: "So then why do you want to go back to something you don't want?"
  John: "I don't know."
  Gabrielle: "Maybe you're tired of me."
  John: "No. I want to be with you."
  Gabrielle: "Then why are we arguing?"
  Juanita (calling from outside of the shed): "Gabrielle!"
  Gabrielle: "Damn it! The virgin gave it up already?"
  John: "I want you so bad. When can I see you again?"
  Gabrielle: "Tomorrow. Meet me at the front entrance of the mall after school."
  John: "What about your mother-in-law?"
  Gabrielle: "Don't worry. I'll think of something."
  Juanita: "Gabrielle! Gabrielle!"
  Gabrielle: "Coming!"
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  Lynette's House
  
  Tom: "A donation? Now Barcliff wants a donation?"
  Lynette: "Apparently we're in competition with one other family. A generous donation will ensure our kids beat 'em out."
  Tom: "How generous?"
  Lynette: "Fifteen thousand."
  Tom: "We don't have that."
  Lynette: "And that's what I told them."
  Tom: "So what do we do? Public school is out unless we move to a new district."
  Lynette: "We're not moving."
  Tom: "Maybe it's time that we look into homeschooling."
  Lynette: "I know you did not just say that."
  Tom: "Honey, it's, it's, it's got its advantages. You know, kids in home school do better in their later years."
  Lynette: "They won't make it to their later years if I have to spend all day with them."
  Tom: "Honey, sometimes you just -- you got to make the sacrifice. It's probably the best thing for the kids."
  Lynette: "Why don't we just put them back in me and cook 'em until they're civilized?"
  Tom: "You'd be cool with that?"
  They laugh.
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  Bree's House
  Bree and Zach are sitting at the dining room table, eating dinner together.
  
  Zach: "I've never had plum pudding before."
  Bree: "I'm serving it this year for Christmas. I like to try out new recipes before the actual holiday. That way if the cookbook's gotten it wrong, I can fix it."
  Zach: "You must really like Christmas. You and Mr. Van De Kamp always have the best decorations on your lawn."
  Bree: "I adore the holidays. I never get depressed if there's a beautifully decorated tree to look at."
  Zach: "My mom and I would always decorate our tree together. This Christmas is going to be weird."
  Bree: "Zach. You know, my mother died when I was young. She was hit by a car."
  Zach: "Oh."
  Bree: "It was, um, right before Christmas, as a matter of fact. We were all singing carols, and the dog was howling because everybody in my family sings off-key, except for me. Anyway, it was just a terrible ruckus. So, well, no one noticed when my mother went across the street to give the neighbors a gift. And the next thing we heard were brakes screeching."
  Zach: "Wow."
  Bree: "Most of my family went to the hospital, but I stayed home because I was so young. When I looked out the window, I saw all of my mother's blood on the street, and nobody was doing anything about it, so I got a hose, and I washed it off, and once it was clean, I felt so much better. I never told anyone that story before."
  Zach: "Those are the most interesting ones -- the stories that we never tell anyone."
  Bree: "Yeah, you're probably right."
  Zach: "I have one. It's more of a secret, really. I know why my mom killed herself."
  Bree: "You do?"
  Zach: "It was something I did -- something bad."
  Bree: "What did you do, Zach? Zach, sweetheart."
  Zach: "No. I should -- I, I'd better not. I shouldn't have said anything. I shouldn't -- I shouldn't have done this. I'm sorry. If my dad found out --"
  Bree: "I won't tell your father. I promise."
  Zach: "I-I can't get you in trouble."
  Bree: "Zachary, it's all right."
  Zach runs out of her house with Bree watching him go.
  --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  Outside, the next day
  Susan: "I can't believe Zach said that. What else did he tell you?"
  Bree: "That was it. Just that Mary Alice killed herself because of something that he had done."
  Susan: "You couldn't get any more out of him?"
  Bree: "Well, I tried, but he was so nervous. He actually started shaking, and then he just left."
  Gabrielle: "Okay, this is getting really weird. I think we should go to the police."
  Bree: "And tell them what? We don't even have the note anymore. We gave it to Paul."
  Susan: "Then you're going to have to get Zach to tell you something so we have more to go on."
  Bree: "Girls, you don't understand. This poor kid is scared out of his mind."
  Gabrielle: "Oh, for God sakes, Bree, you're a woman. Manipulate him. That's what we do."
  Bree: "But how?"
  Gabrielle: "I don't know, how did you usually manipulate Rex?"
  Bree smiles.
• icebaby0

  20 Apr 05, 15:38

  part 5
  
  Paul and Zach's House
  Bree knocks on the door and Zach answers.
  
  Bree: "Hello, Zachary. Are you free for dinner tonight?"
  Zach: "Sure."
  Bree: "Oh, good, because last night, you put me in such a holiday mood, so I'm going to make roast turkey and candied yams and eggnog. Have you ever had real old-fashioned eggnog?"
  Zach: "No, I don't think so."
  Bree: "Oh, you are going to love it. It has quite a kick."
  Lynette watches her boys wrestle each other.
  
  Twin: "Oh, me! Score!"
  Lynette: "Boys, could you just not --"
  
  The boys ignore her and Lynette realizes she's sitting on something. She pulls it out from underneath her and it's a model boat of Tom's. She stares at it thoughtfully.
  --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  Mall
  Gabrielle and Mama Solis are looking for clothing. Mama Solis tries on clothes in one of the fitting rooms while Gabrielle stands outside.
  
  Mama Solis: "Gabrielle, please. You bought me enough things. You're the one that's supposed to be shopping."
  Gabrielle: "Oh, mama, you're in a rut. We need to spice up your wardrobe. Ooh, here. Try this one on. Go on, try it on. Mama Solis, how you doing in there?"
  Mama Solis: "Is it supposed to be so tight?"
  Gabrielle: "Yes, it's form-fitting. You're going to look great."
  Mama Solis: "Gabrielle, I don't think this dress is right for me. I can't breathe."
  Gabrielle takes a shirt from the store that they had brought in with them and places it into Mama Solis's bag, underneath some other items.
  
  Gabrielle: "Well, maybe I made a mistake. While you change, I'm going to make a quick run to the bookstore."
  Mama Solis: "Gabrielle, wait, wait. I'm coming with you."
  Gabrielle: "No, no, no. I'll just be a minute."
  Mama Solis: "Wait, wait, Gabrielle, I'm coming with you -- ay! Wait! Gabrielle, wait!"
  As Mama Solis runs after Gabrielle out of the store, the store's security system begins to beep and a store employee stops her.
  
  Woman: "Ma'am? Ma'am, sorry. I'm going to need to look in your bags, please."
  Mama Solis: "Fine. Just hurry up."
  Gabrielle leaves the mall and runs into John, who kisses her.
  John: "Right on time."
  Back in the mall, with security, Mama Solis continues arguing with security.
  
  Mama Solis: "I'm telling you, I don't know where that blouse came from."
  Woman: "Security!"
  Mama Solis: "All right, keep your stupid blouse. I'm going to have to find my daughter-in-law. Don't touch me. Don't you dare touch me!"
  Security: "Ma'am, you're going to have to come with us."
  Mama Solis: "Get your hands off me! Gabrielle!"
  --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  Bree's House
  Bree's in her kitchen, humming, when the phone rings.
  
  Bree: "Hello."
  Rex: "Hey, it's me."
  Bree: "Oh, hi, Rex. How are you? Is something wrong?"
  Rex: "Well, I was just about to grab dinner from the motel vending machine, and it occurred to me, what the heck? I'll go out. Would you like to have dinner with me?"
  Bree walks down her front porch steps and runs into Zach.
  
  Zach: "Mrs. Van De Kamp. Guess what -- I found all my mom's old Christmas stuff."
  Bree: "Oh. Sweetie, I was just coming over to talk to you. I am so sorry, but something really important came up, and I have to cancel."
  Zach: "Really?"
  Bree: "We will do it again. We'll have our impromptu holiday dinner, I promise. Bye."
  --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  Nighttime
  Susan and Officer Thompson are in his car, looking up names on his computer scanner.
  
  Susan: "Mm, I got one -- Kelly Halsteder. In eighth grade, she used to spit in my gym shoes. "
  Officer Thompson: "Kelly Halsteder. Kelly Halsteder. There, look. Two DUIs, one check kiting, and an open bench warrant."
  Susan: "How tragic, by which I mean yay."
  Officer Thompson: "Yeah, you've been a really good sport, coming along on my shift with me."
  Susan: "Well, time flies when you're on a stakeout in crack town. So when does our official date begin?"
  Officer Thompson: "Well, taxpayers say twnety minutes, but I say now."
  --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  Lynette's House
  Tom comes down the stairs into the living room, where Lynette is. He just finished putting the kids to bed.
  
  Tom: "They're down."
  Lynette: "Oh, thank you, hon."
  Tom: "Honey, you -- did you read up on homeschooling?"
  Lynette: "Yeah. Gave me some good ideas -- well, one, anyway."
  Tom: "Great. What -- what have you got?"
  Lynette: "Well, you know how we both agree that one of us needs to stay home and parent the kids and one of us needs to go off and make a living."
  Tom: "Uh-huh."
  Lynette: "And then I suddenly remembered that when I was working, I made a little more than you."
  Tom: "W-what are you doing?"
  Lynette: "You tossed out that little sacrifice comment a while ago, and it occurred to me I've made sacrifices over the past six years. I gave up my career. If another sacrifice has to be made, I think it's your turn on the merry-go-round."
  Tom: "Lynette --"
  Lynette: "So if I went back to work, then you could stay home and take care of the kids."
  Tom: "I-I can't be with the kids all day. I'd -- I'd lose my mind."
  Lynette: "Aha."
  Tom: "Hey, okay, I get it. Hey -- homeschooling is out. Out. But how are we going to scrape together fifteen grand for this endowment?"
  Lynette: "Mm. How, how, how?"
  
  "Lynette was desperate to avoid homeschooling, but she saw no options on the horizon until a solution sailed into view."
  Lynette looks at photos of Tom's boat on the mantel.
  
  Tom: "Oh, no."
  Lynette: "Aye-aye."
• icebaby0

  20 Apr 05, 15:40

  part 6
  
  Susan's Date
  Susan stands outside of the Officer Thompson's car as he changes into more appropriate clothing taken from his trunk.
  
  Officer Thompson: "So the restaurant's run by this little old guy named Daranello. He will propose to you. Don't say yes, because he's dead serious."
  Susan: "But what if I like him?"
  She looks in his trunk and sees the screwdriver she had given him.
  
  Susan: "Hey. I thought this went to the lab."
  Officer Thompson: "All right. You got me."
  Susan: "And that means what?"
  Officer Thompson: "Look, Susan, no one would authorize lab time or a computer search for a case like this. It's -- it's just not a priority."
  Susan: "So why couldn't you just tell me that?"
  Officer Thompson: "Well, I thought we were clicking? Does this need to be a big deal?"
  Susan: "Well, if you'd only lied to me about it once, it wouldn't be."
  Officer Thompson: "All right, I get it. You want me to beg. Okay, look at me. I'm begging. Come on. Don't be such a girl about this."
  Susan: "I know who you are. You're a Carl in disguise. I'm done with you -- all of you."
  Officer Thompson: "Oh, come on, drama queen."
  Susan gathers up her things, including the screwdriver, and starts to walk away.
  
  Officer Thompson: "What are you doing? Where are you going? It's not safe."
  Susan: "I'd rather take my chances on the street, thank you very much."
  Officer Thompson: "Oh, why do I always pick the psychos?"
  --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  Outside
  An unknown somebody wearing jeans walks towards Bree's house, ax in hand.
  
  It's Zach, and he uses the ax to smash open a window.
  -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  Street Corner
  Once Susan had left Officer Thompson, she comes across a prostitute on the corner.
  
  Susan: "Excuse me. I'm a little lost."
  Prostitute: "Oh, you best be lost. This here's my corner."
  Susan: "Oh, uh, yes, and -- and a lovely corner it is, and I hate to bother you while you're...working. I just was wondering if you could point me in the direction of a pay phone. Oh, and if you had some change, uh, for this five, preferably quarters..."
  Prostitute: "Honey, if I got paid in quarters, I'd be doing something very wrong."
  Susan: "Right. Okay. Thank you."
  She turns away.
  
  Prostitute: "Hey. You want to use my cell? I have weekend minutes."
  Susan: "Oh, thank you so much. You're saving my life."
  A horn honks as a car pulls up and the prostitute turns towards it.
  
  Prostitute: "Oh, excuse me, honey."
  Susan: "Oh, yes, you -- you do what you've got to do. Oh, please answer. Come on, pick up, Julie. Oh, thank god. Okay, don't ask any questions. Just get somebody down here to pick me up at the corner of ninth and Foster."
  A car pulls up and a man calls out to her.
  
  Man: "Hey, babe."
  Susan: "Thank you, no. I'm on a break. Hurry, please."
  --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  Bree's House
  Bree and Rex come rushing home. There are police cars outside of their house with their lights flashing.
  
  "Excuse me. We got a call. Something about a break-in."
  Cop: "One of your neighbors reported seeing someone forcing his way into your home. We sent some guys out to investigate, and, uh..."
  Bree: "W-what is it?"
  Cop: "I got to tell you, ma'am, I thought I'd seen a lot on the job, but, uh, this is something else."
  He opens up their front door and Rex and Bree walk inside. Their house is completely decorated for Christmas, including stockings on the mantle, for Paul, Zach, and Mary Alice.
  
  Rex: "So -- so let me get this straight. He chopped down one of our pine trees?"
  Cop: "I'm afraid so."
  Zach is led into the room, in handcuffs, by another cop.
  
  Bree: "Zach, why did you do this?"
  Zach: "I don't know."
  Bree: "Take off those handcuffs, please."
  Cop: "Ma'am, he confessed to breaking in."
  Bree: "This is not up for discussion."
  Behind Bree, Rex nods. One cop tells the other to "go ahead" and Paul's handcuffs are removed.
  
  Paul suddenly opens their front door to come in. The cop tries to stop him.
  
  Paul: "Zach."
  Standing next to Bree, Zach quietly reaches out and takes her hand.
  --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  Street Corner
  Susan stands uncomfortably on the street corner when an SUV pulls up. It slows down and Mike leans across the seat to call out to her.
  
  Mike: "You okay?"
  Susan: "Yeah."
  Mike: "Then how much for a trip around the world?"
  Susan (sighing): "I cannot believe Julie sent you. She is soon gonna be dead."
  Mike: "Come on. Get in."
  Susan gets in the car and tosses the screwdriver on the dashboard.
  
  Mike: "Wasn't that sent in for prints?"
  Susan: "No, the cop lied to me. I don't want to talk about it."
  Mike: "Just asking."
  He drives off.
  --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  Gabrielle's House
  Gabrielle is on the phone with Carlos. Mama Solis sits on the couch, knitting.
  
  Gabrielle: "Yes, apparently, they found a blouse in her bag. Oh, I don't know, Carlos. At some point, older people start to get confused. She probably thought she paid for it. No, no charges. Everything's fine. Okay, I'll tell her. Bye. Mama Solis, Carlos is going to be late for dinner. It's just the two of us. What would you like to eat?"
  Mama Solis: "Oh, I'm not hungry."
  Gabrielle: "Okay, suit yourself."
  Mama Solis: "Don't go yet. I need to talk to you. It's important. Please."
  Gabrielle sits down.
  
  Mama Solis: "I married Diego Solis when I was 16 years old. A few months into our marriage, he started to beat me. I was so young and stupid, I didn't know what to do."
  Gabrielle: "Juanita, I had no idea."
  Mama Solis: "It got so bad that I started praying to God to let me die, but God, in his infinite wisdom, gave me a reason to live."
  Gabrielle: "Carlos."
  Mama Solis: "Ah, he was a beautiful baby. But my husband wasn't much of a father. He never held him. He would yell and scream at him for no reason at all. One night when Carlos was four, Diego Solis came home drunk, and he beat my Carlos. Something inside me snapped, and at that moment, I found a way to be strong, so I made sure that Diego Solis never hurt my son or me ever again."
  
  Gabrielle watches Mama Solis knit. Her brow furrows.
  
  Gabrielle: "What'd you do?"
  Mama Solis: "Well, if you pray hard enough, God gives you the tools to your salvation."
  Gabrielle: "Carlos said that his father left for a waitress in El Paso."
  Mama Solis: "Mm-hmm. That's what he was told. All mothers know they have to protect their children, but some of us take our job more seriously than others."
  Gabrielle: "I don't know why you're telling me this."
  Mama Solis stops knitting to look at Gabrielle.
  
  Mama Solis: "I think you do."
• icebaby0

  20 Apr 05, 15:41

  part 7
  
  Mike's Car
  Mike pulls the car up to Susan's house and stops, but neither makes any move to get out.
  
  Mike: "Look, okay, I know you're mad at me, and I'm sorry I didn't stop you from going out with that guy."
  Susan: "I'm not mad at you. I mean, I'm not just mad at you. I'm mostly mad at myself."
  Mike: "Okay."
  Susan: "I'm mad that I like you so much without really knowing anything about you."
  Mike: "Oh. What do you want to know?"
  Susan: "What's your favorite food?"
  Mike: "Mexican."
  Susan: "What's your favorite sport?"
  Mike: "Football."
  Susan: "Favorite band?"
  Mike: "Elvis Costello."
  Susan: "That's a guy, not a band."
  Mike: "It's a guy with a band."
  Susan: "What do you think of me?"
  After pausing, he leans over and kisses her.
  
  Susan: "I'm sorry.Could you repeat that?"
  They kiss again.
  
  --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  
  Paul and Zach's House
  Bree walks up to their house and hears arguing inside. She starts to turn away.
  
  Paul: "Why?"
  Zach: "I don't want to talk about it."
  Paul: "Do you realize how insane this looks?"
  Zach: "Do you even care about me at all? Did you even care about mom?!"
  Paul: "You will not talk to me that way."
  Zach: "I think I just did."
  A smack and then a shouted "Ow!" is heard. Outside, Bree changes her mind and knocks on their front door. Zach opens it up.
  
  Zach: "Mrs. Van De Kamp."
  Bree: "Hi, Zach. I just, uh, wanted to see if everything was all right."
  Zach: "Everything's fine."
  Bree: "Are you sure?"
  Zach: "Yes."
  Bree: "Well, okay. I'll see you tomorrow, then."
  Zach: "I'm sure that you will."
  He closes the door on Bree, and then walks past his father, who's lying on the floor, with a split lip that's bleeding.
  
  --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  
  "People, by their very nature, are always on the lookout for intruders..."
  The man from Barcliff Academy walks out of a doorway and nearly gets run over by Porter and Parker, who rush past him. Shocked, he looks at Lynette, who just smiles.
  
  "...trying to prevent those on the outside from getting in. But there will always be those who force their way into our lives..."
  Gabrielle walks out onto the porch to do her yoga and sees Mama Solis sitting there, knitting. Annoyed, she stays in the house.
  
  "...just as there will be those we invite in."
  
  Susan and Julie open up their front door to let in Mike, who's brought a pizza.
  
  "But the most troubling of all will be the ones who stand on the outside looking in... the ones we never truly get to know."
  
  Bree steps out of her house with her gardening supplies and sees, next door, Paul and Zach getting into a car and driving away.
  
  ~ The End ~