i am getting skeptical
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i read in AA and sggirls, threads about guys who are married or in a r/s but getting sick of their spouse/gf.. having no feelings for them anymore, while in the mean time wanting to hook up with other grirls..
what is this sht?? how am i supposed to believe that r/s will end up well. even marriage seems like a thing for novelty...
lolz... i am getting real skeptical.. -
you are still young. let nature take its course.
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I've had doubts myself, and soaring divorce rates doesn't make it any better.Originally posted by starblue:i read in AA and sggirls, threads about guys who are married or in a r/s but getting sick of their spouse/gf.. having no feelings for them anymore, while in the mean time wanting to hook up with other grirls..
what is this sht?? how am i supposed to believe that r/s will end up well. even marriage seems like a thing for novelty...
lolz... i am getting real skeptical..
It takes two hands to clap. Even if the relationship may fail, give it your best, make an effort. For at the end of it all, you're more prepared for whoever and whatever comes your way.
I'm sure somewhere in the world, the One is waiting for you.
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That's why you're the mod for Starblue heaven.
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Well, when you get into a r/s, you are also taking a risk. So there is always a possibility that you will get hurt, that the r/s won't end with a happy ending, even though of course that's what we all wish for.Originally posted by starblue:i read in AA and sggirls, threads about guys who are married or in a r/s but getting sick of their spouse/gf.. having no feelings for them anymore, while in the mean time wanting to hook up with other grirls..
what is this sht?? how am i supposed to believe that r/s will end up well. even marriage seems like a thing for novelty...
lolz... i am getting real skeptical..
But we all strive to keep it going...r/s is not easy work, I can assure you of that. It needs a lot of efforts to keep it going. So if you are afraid of hard work and getting hurt, maybe you are not ready to get into one.
So I guess we can only try our best and keep in mind that the possibility of it ending badly is there. Don't be scared of that possibility, because how would you know whether it will work out or not unless you try? Being skeptical is one thing, but don't let it keep you from getting into a r/s just because you are afraid you will become another number in the statistic of broken r/s or marriages. -
the putting in effort part is making me skeptical... look at those Ashols in AA.. they aren't even putting in effort... say wad no feeling le also cannot help it... how come feelings can change until liddat one??? i'm sure when it started out the love's real and strong. but look at them!! change until like what liddat...
i don't know.. but i feel kinda angry with these people. maybe i shouldn't have...
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Well, like I said, there is always a possibility heartbreak might occur even after you have put in efforts. You just need to know that once the other party is not willing to put in any effort anymore, you need to break away from him. Cos I have learned thru the hard way that love is not a one way street. Just one party giving will not make it work...so instead of holding on to something that is about to sink and being dragged down together by it, let go before more damage is done. I have found out that some girls are to blame as well when it comes to this, cos they just simply dunno how to let go even when they are being abused either physically or emotionally by their bfs...Not to say that I have not gone thru dat myself.Originally posted by starblue:the putting in effort part is making me skeptical... look at those Ashols in AA.. they aren't even putting in effort... say wad no feeling le also cannot help it... how come feelings can change until liddat one??? i'm sure when it started out the love's real and strong. but look at them!! change until like what liddat...
i don't know.. but i feel kinda angry with these people. maybe i shouldn't have...
But you see, it is those experiences that make me the person I am now...it helps me to grow up and see relationship in a different light and make me cherish love more -
well.. feelings is the most unpredictable one ma.. right?Originally posted by starblue:the putting in effort part is making me skeptical... look at those Ashols in AA.. they aren't even putting in effort... say wad no feeling le also cannot help it... how come feelings can change until liddat one??? i'm sure when it started out the love's real and strong. but look at them!! change until like what liddat...
i don't know.. but i feel kinda angry with these people. maybe i shouldn't have...
anyway sgforums make up how many % of the L-O-V-E community in Singapore nia? i'm sure there's much much more blissful n happy relationships going on in Singapore yea? -
Hmm...All good things MUST come to an end.Originally posted by starblue:i read in AA and sggirls, threads about guys who are married or in a r/s but getting sick of their spouse/gf.. having no feelings for them anymore, while in the mean time wanting to hook up with other grirls..
what is this sht?? how am i supposed to believe that r/s will end up well. even marriage seems like a thing for novelty...
lolz... i am getting real skeptical.. -
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just wondering if its not too privateOriginally posted by starblue:the putting in effort part is making me skeptical... look at those Ashols in AA.. they aren't even putting in effort... say wad no feeling le also cannot help it... how come feelings can change until liddat one??? i'm sure when it started out the love's real and strong. but look at them!! change until like what liddat...
i don't know.. but i feel kinda angry with these people. maybe i shouldn't have...
Have you been in a relationship before?
If you have what was your longest? -
thing is...when we read the thread in AA, mostly sure from people who are facing problems in r/s...of course those who are happily attached won't be there rite? So makes sense that there are a lot of depressing stories being told there...but doesn't mean there aren't happy couples who have found true love out thereOriginally posted by ^HaRu^:well.. feelings is the most unpredictable one ma.. right?
anyway sgforums make up how many % of the L-O-V-E community in Singapore nia? i'm sure there's much much more blissful n happy relationships going on in Singapore yea? -
where is the sense of security?? how can one get into a r/s knowing that there is a great chance of either one of you changing your feelings for the other???
i do not understand..... -
it's not about stories in AA being depressing.. is about what those Ashols are saying in there.. i dunno about you, but i get damn pissed just reading how they are contemplating to chase another gal while still attached, just because they got no more feelings for the gf.
and no, i've never been in a proper r/s before... cos i see my friends, i see my parents.. and i get super skeptical... -_-"" -
?Originally posted by starblue:where is the sense of security?? how can one get into a r/s knowing that there is a great chance of either one of you changing your feelings for the other???
i do not understand.....
There is only one certainty in this world ( non religious ) and that is people change and evolve every day.
Its how we better ourselves and grow.
When you grow it can be for the advantage or disadvantage of the relationship.
So either way works. -
You want to type out a essay in AA about how you feel and how a ideal r/s should be?
It helps. -
being in a r/s is all about uncertainty. You just need to trust the other party to not break your heart. Without trust, the r/s will not survive.Originally posted by starblue:where is the sense of security?? how can one get into a r/s knowing that there is a great chance of either one of you changing your feelings for the other???
i do not understand.....
But even if in the end it doesn't work out, take it as an experience and learn from it. You can't expect to just get into one r/s and have it all worked out to perfection. You do not learn what is true love that way...like how would you cherish happiness if you have not tasted sadness?
I guess just live one day at a time, give your all as long as both of you are still in the r/s, communicate with each other and most importantly, have trust it will work out. Do not doubt the other party just because you have heard others have had it bad before... -
Do not let the skepticism stop you from chasing your own happiness. What has happened to other doesn't mean it will happen to you all the time...Originally posted by starblue:it's not about stories in AA being depressing.. is about what those Ashols are saying in there.. i dunno about you, but i get damn pissed just reading how they are contemplating to chase another gal while still attached, just because they got no more feelings for the gf.
and no, i've never been in a proper r/s before... cos i see my friends, i see my parents.. and i get super skeptical... -_-"" -
ya.. tt's what i'm trying to bring across to little starblue..Originally posted by rainee:thing is...when we read the thread in AA, mostly sure from people who are facing problems in r/s...of course those who are happily attached won't be there rite? So makes sense that there are a lot of depressing stories being told there...but doesn't mean there aren't happy couples who have found true love out there -
Majority of guys will always be a*holes. Its just how truthful they are about their own feelings. And how they go about getting what they want.Originally posted by starblue:it's not about stories in AA being depressing.. is about what those Ashols are saying in there.. i dunno about you, but i get damn pissed just reading how they are contemplating to chase another gal while still attached, just because they got no more feelings for the gf.
and no, i've never been in a proper r/s before... cos i see my friends, i see my parents.. and i get super skeptical... -_-""
Girls are just as manipulative.
Ive been in a few proper relationships before, and basically sometimes when you just have had enough of that person and its really enough. The honeymoon period of sex and pheromones only lasts so long, after that its all about compromise and mutual understanding. You will be surprised at how fast people can take things for granted just cos its always been there. Feelings too can evolve.
If you have never tried a relationship before and are waiting for the right person to come along, I applaud you.
For me I have decided to take the course of dating as and when I can so I will know myself and what I want in a partner better. -
no thanks... i rather keep it in the confines of my heaven... it's nothing big really, i'm just quite sick and tired of hearing stories of how people grow to have no feelings for the one they loved deeply then... maybe good r/s are really only found in fairy tales.... *shrugs*Originally posted by M©+square:You want to type out a essay in AA about how you feel and how a ideal r/s should be?
It helps. -
everyone go into a relationship with the hope that the other party is the Chosen One.. BUT.. we'll always b on e lookout for better partner than ur bf/gf.. e basic instinct of humans is to seek out the best genes for reproduction.. so it wont end la.. as long as got this kinda basic instinct.. hearts will b broken n relationships end..
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i dun get applauding part... basically, i'm losing hope even before having it... lolz...Originally posted by panicTheory:Majority of guys will always be a*holes. Its just how truthful they are about their own feelings. And how they go about getting what they want.
Girls are just as manipulative.
Ive been in a few proper relationships before, and basically sometimes when you just have had enough of that person and its really enough. The honeymoon period of sex and pheromones only lasts so long, after that its all about compromise and mutual understanding. You will be surprised at how fast people can take things for granted just cos its always been there. Feelings too can evolve.
If you have never tried a relationship before and are waiting for the right person to come along, I applaud you.
For me I have decided to take the course of dating as and when I can so I will know myself and what I want in a partner better. -
thanks for the admonition.. now i really CAN get my hopes high on r/s... -_-"""Originally posted by ^HaRu^:everyone go into a relationship with the hope that the other party is the Chosen One.. BUT.. we'll always b on e lookout for better partner than ur bf/gf.. e basic instinct of humans is to seek out the best genes for reproduction.. so it wont end la.. as long as got this kinda basic instinct.. hearts will b broken n relationships end.. -
starblue mei, are you afraid of getting hurt?