i am exasperated.
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hahaha... ya true. Words are cheap ONLY when u dun mean it.Originally posted by starblue:haha... but to me its wierd loh, all those talk... maybe i'm just allergic to sweet talk. i know my dad was one, that's how he tricked mum into marrying him.
i dun want to be like that. sometimes i just hope he will keep back on those stuff and just chat normally, so that i can have a better judge on who he is, and not get my view obscured by all those sweet but dun mean anything words...
Words are just cheap, to me... and indeed, I am more weary of guys who sweet talk.
To me, my word is my bond. My darling knows that. however when it comes to sweet talk, moderation is the key. Too much sweet talk makes u look insincere. Too little sweet talk makes u look emotionless and cold.
Regarding the part whereby u said ur dad tricked ur mom into marrying him.. I think the word "tricked" is too strong to be used in this situation. In any marriage proposal, there must be something like sincerity and not to miss out, sweet talk. All is not important except what really comes from a man's heart and his words.
Just my thoughts... -
true true..Originally posted by I_am_PeTe_Parker:Starblue, actually I do not know what is right and wrong about an online relationship. But I somehow always got the feeling it was possible. I read this thread and about rainee and emperorÂ’s inspirational r/s and started believing it more.
Online chatting is a powerful tool indeed. It is a good way to converse. And throughout history, letter writing had been a normal way to converseÂ…so why not chatting online. It is basically an interactive letter pad. And people throughout the ages have met, fell in love and live happily ever after starting by just writing letters to each other. They were what people call it pen-pals back then. So actually I guess, it this really possible after all having an online r/s. So you donÂ’t have to feel uncomfortable about being in an online r/s.
You meet on the netÂ…you slowly gather about all the things he likes and dislikes and you realize he is the kind of person for you. You feel a kind of affinity for him. Behind your mind you think to yourselfÂ…could he be the one. Everybody wants someone to loveÂ…so you start feeling glad that you have someone pouring his feelings for you. And I suppose something in you starts to stir (the hormone and blah blah blah stuff) and presto you are infatuated.
But the frightening thing isÂ…IS he telling the truth!!! This is when online chatting can work in favor of the guy. I must say it is very very easy to hide the truth online. Heck, it is even easy for a guy to hide the truth face to face. It all boils down to the honesty of the guy. Is he an honest guy? Does he have the integrity. Is he only trying to play with you? DonÂ’t know exactly what constitutes sweet talk and mushy talk to youÂ…but then again it all boils down to the guys intentions. He is probably trying to win you overÂ…which is in that case normal for a guy to do. But what does he want to gain from thatÂ…To get to know youÂ…to try and ask you out on a dateÂ…again that is normal for a guy to do. BUT what does he want from a date with you??? That you better be careful lor.
My conclusionÂ…geezÂ…I donÂ’t have a conclusion.
anyway sweet-talking on MSN n sweet-talking on the phone are two completely different story altogether.. is he sweet-talking u on the phone too? -
erm.... i dun think so. anyway we only chatted over the phone like 3 times or wad... if he started sweet talking on the phone then i will be super freaked out.. cos hor. i really cannot handle affection...Originally posted by ^HaRu^:true true..
anyway sweet-talking on MSN n sweet-talking on the phone are two completely different story altogether.. is he sweet-talking u on the phone too?
that is why on msn whenever he does that, i can only put -_-"
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pete.. that is something i can never tell, his intentions. and that is what frightens me. i dun even trust a guy i meet face to face, much less a nick on the screen and mere words.
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precisely.. from my experience of being a guy for so many yrs.. i'll tell u tt he's only kidding when he sweet-talks u in msn.. a guy who really wanna sweet-talk u to the extreme.. will do it on e phone..Originally posted by starblue:erm.... i dun think so. anyway we only chatted over the phone like 3 times or wad... if he started sweet talking on the phone then i will be super freaked out.. cos hor. i really cannot handle affection...
that is why on msn whenever he does that, i can only put -_-" -
Originally posted by The Emperor:hahaha... ya true. Words are cheap ONLY when u dun mean it.
To me, my word is my bond. My darling knows that. however when it comes to sweet talk, moderation is the key. Too much sweet talk makes u look insincere. Too little sweet talk makes u look emotionless and cold.
Regarding the part whereby u said ur dad tricked ur mom into marrying him.. I think the word "tricked" is too strong to be used in this situation. In any marriage proposal, there must be something like sincerity and not to miss out, sweet talk. All is not important except what really comes from a man's heart and his words. Just my thoughts... my mum told me herself one loh... she says, "ke neng wo bei ni ba ba de tian yan mi yu pian le." prob cos of that, i dun think highly of guys who sweet talk.. maybe only lah... i also dunno... somehow, i always have this innate fear that i will end up like my mum. -
Tian1 xia4 wu1 ya1 yi4 ban1 hei1. 9 out of 10 guys have bad intentions.
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lolz.. then the problem comes.. if he jokes with sweet talk, then when can i ever believe his words???Originally posted by ^HaRu^:precisely.. from my experience of being a guy for so many yrs.. i'll tell u tt he's only kidding when he sweet-talks u in msn.. a guy who really wanna sweet-talk u to the extreme.. will do it on e phone.. if it continues, next time even if he is being serious, i will also just brush it aside... 
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wow. and that's a comfort.Originally posted by ^spidee^:Tian1 xia4 wu1 ya1 yi4 ban1 hei1. 9 out of 10 guys have bad intentions. -
lol.. from now on.. believe everything he said.. except for his sweet-talk on e MSN?Originally posted by starblue:lolz.. then the problem comes.. if he jokes with sweet talk, then when can i ever believe his words??? if it continues, next time even if he is being serious, i will also just brush it aside... -
I speak only the truth. Remember the Tao Zi song? Shi2 ge4 nan2 ren2 qi1 ge4 sha3, ba1 ge4 dai1, jiu3 ge4 huai4.Originally posted by starblue:wow. and that's a comfort. -
cannot lah.... i will be conditioned to brushing wadever he says aside one...Originally posted by ^HaRu^:lol.. from now on.. believe everything he said.. except for his sweet-talk on e MSN? it's the psychology of the learning mind..
i will tell him firmly again the next time i see him.. not to sweet talk.. not good for my skin also.. everytime he does it, i get the goosebumps falling all over the place. i am serious. really cannot handle it. -
how can u tell her to totally ignore the sweet talking, Sweet talking is just anoter phase for some extra brownie points k. I wanna see U try to do ur thang wiith ZERO sweet talk. U will fail.. n u will fail miserably.Originally posted by ^HaRu^:lol.. from now on.. believe everything he said.. except for his sweet-talk on e MSN? Give teh dude the benefit of doubt.. he he.. coz its never too late to cut him loose! -
Originally posted by BadzMaro:how can u tell her to totally ignore the sweet talking, Sweet talking is just anoter phase for some extra brownie points k. I wanna see U try to do ur thang wiith ZERO sweet talk. U will fail.. n u will fail miserably. Give teh dude the benefit of doubt.. he he.. coz its never too late to cut him loose! she said she dont like sweet-talk ma.. i'm just trying to help tt guy..
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Well besides the sweet talking, try to look out for his other personalities traits...just dun let his sweet talks blind you then can le
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i think she may need to actually at least see the dude once to see what kinda personality he has to offer.he he he... well, maybe only time will tell. Can the sands of time shake his undying sincerity to StarBlue.. he he he!!
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well, there is a saying that I find is especially true:
A guy can lie if he wants to, doesn't matter where.
So doesn't matter whether u have met him face to face or not, he can still lie to u if he wants to. Therefore, u need to monitor his characters and see if he is really wat he makes him out to be. -
but want to make sure he is not a pervert before she goes out and meets him ma...Originally posted by BadzMaro:i think she may need to actually at least see the dude once to see what kinda personality he has to offer.he he he... well, maybe only time will tell. Can the sands of time shake his undying sincerity to StarBlue.. he he he!! -
how can u possibly know if he is a pervet or not ar ! LOL! Unless u raid his room when he is not around..n stalk him to check him out.Originally posted by rainee:but want to make sure he is not a pervert before she goes out and meets him ma...
i say..she meets him but with a full arsenal or pepper spray n tasers. Get her boys to be on stand by and make sure she is in an environment where she has an upper hand ..say like a pub where the bouncers are her best buddies.. LOL!! -
hey starblue, just to add. actually it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter at all if he's telling the truth. back to my previous point, let time tell everything, it'll give u a better picture of what person he is.
judge for yourself the kind of person he is, be fair, but not presumptous. tata! -
This is something you will learn as you meet more people. The only way to be a good judge of people's character is to know more people - all kinds of people.Originally posted by starblue:pete.. that is something i can never tell, his intentions. and that is what frightens me. i dun even trust a guy i meet face to face, much less a nick on the screen and mere words.
But you must not be too trusting (which I can see you are not and good for you
) but you must also not build too much of a defence.
If you find the mushy things he is saying are too.. too mushy for your liking...tell him so...in your devil may care attitute, which you are so go at (but I must warn you - your devil may care attitute may be a big turn-on for some guys - serious!)
Guys will say sweet talking/mushy things...nice things about you to get your attention. Some guys do it better than others. Doesn't mean the ones that can say it better are better at loving you. Like you say - just mere words. You can only tell whether the things he said are truthfull...as you get to know him better.
"devil may care attitute" - don't care what others think attitude. If they not happy with what I say, heck care kind of attitute -
well some can be found out thru the way he talks and the information he gave away. Like there are always some red flags to look out for. Just google for safe online dating and you will get a lot of guides about these red flags.Originally posted by BadzMaro:how can u possibly know if he is a pervet or not ar ! LOL! Unless u raid his room when he is not around..n stalk him to check him out.
i say..she meets him but with a full arsenal or pepper spray n tasers. Get her boys to be on stand by and make sure she is in an environment where she has an upper hand ..say like a pub where the bouncers are her best buddies.. LOL!! -
true. dats y communication is very importantOriginally posted by wa|th3r:hey starblue, just to add. actually it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter at all if he's telling the truth. back to my previous point, let time tell everything, it'll give u a better picture of what person he is.
judge for yourself the kind of person he is, be fair, but not presumptous. tata! 
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have more phone conversations with him. i think a phone call reveals many more things than msn can.
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Originally posted by BadzMaro:how can u possibly know if he is a pervet or not ar ! LOL! Unless u raid his room when he is not around..n stalk him to check him out.
i say..she meets him but with a full arsenal or pepper spray n tasers. Get her boys to be on stand by and make sure she is in an environment where she has an upper hand ..say like a pub where the bouncers are her best buddies.. LOL!! scully later he dun dare to go out with me le...