what do you do when you....

• starblue

  31 Oct 05, 23:39

  see a person with a handicap, or badly deformed body on the streets? do you:
  
  1) take a second or third look (people who does that often seem to pity the person, and it doesnt feel right to me)
  
  2) look nonchalent (you dun wan the person to feel too self conscious of himself, but other people will see you as unfeeling and cold)
  
  cos u see, i saw this guy, nearly half bent over at his back, trying hard to get down and take a seat at the busstop. then i observed people at the bus stop. some aunties were intently looking at home, pity filling their eyes. and i dun think the man feels good being stared at like that.
  
  i, on the other hand, tried to concentrate on the traffic, didnt want to pressure the guy with my stare lah. but i reckon i look cold.
  
  liddat how?? what will you do? have you see such situations, and how do you feel about them?
• seow

  31 Oct 05, 23:52

  Would start looking everywhere.
• Ito_^

  31 Oct 05, 23:59

  always see some of em beggers with quite extreme disabilities whenever i go jb at the underpass near da checkpoint.. 2 for me, i guess.
• Lance_han

  1 Nov 05, 00:43

  Originally posted by starblue:

  see a person with a handicap, or badly deformed body on the streets? do you:
  
  1) take a second or third look (people who does that often seem to pity the person, and it doesnt feel right to me)
  
  2) look nonchalent (you dun wan the person to feel too self conscious of himself, but other people will see you as unfeeling and cold)
  
  cos u see, i saw this guy, nearly half bent over at his back, trying hard to get down and take a seat at the busstop. then i observed people at the bus stop. some aunties were intently looking at home, pity filling their eyes. and i dun think the man feels good being stared at like that.
  
  i, on the other hand, tried to concentrate on the traffic, didnt want to pressure the guy with my stare lah. but i reckon i look cold.
  
  liddat how?? what will you do? have you see such situations, and how do you feel about them?

  i'm usually option 2
  
  somehow, it feels like the right thing to do budden ppl migh see tis as being unfeeling and cold..but wtf..wad do they noe?
  
  
• starblue

  1 Nov 05, 01:04

  Originally posted by Lance_han:

  i'm usually option 2
  
  somehow, it feels like the right thing to do budden ppl migh see tis as being unfeeling and cold..but wtf..wad do they noe?
  
  

  so you feel the same as me huh??? i'm just puzzled as to wad the correct attitute and expression we should have towards such unfortunate people of society....
• hisoka

  1 Nov 05, 01:07

  Originally posted by starblue:

  see a person with a handicap, or badly deformed body on the streets? do you:
  
  1) take a second or third look (people who does that often seem to pity the person, and it doesnt feel right to me)
  
  2) look nonchalent (you dun wan the person to feel too self conscious of himself, but other people will see you as unfeeling and cold)
  
  cos u see, i saw this guy, nearly half bent over at his back, trying hard to get down and take a seat at the busstop. then i observed people at the bus stop. some aunties were intently looking at home, pity filling their eyes. and i dun think the man feels good being stared at like that.
  
  i, on the other hand, tried to concentrate on the traffic, didnt want to pressure the guy with my stare lah. but i reckon i look cold.
  
  liddat how?? what will you do? have you see such situations, and how do you feel about them?

  i will either help or wont look if i don't help its because i feel the person can do and i want him to feel independent and not be burdened by my pity
• huiz

  1 Nov 05, 01:12

  look look then look away...coz dun wanna stare at them like some aliens.
• stellazio

  1 Nov 05, 01:12

  i got help ah ma carry grocery before..help them flag bus too..
• wealthball

  1 Nov 05, 01:17

  if you look at a person, your purpose would probably convey something that means, hi there. And you can do this by looking to his eyes and smiling. If you look all over his body, instead of achieving this you probably will cause anxiety and embarrasement because you make him feel out of place or weird.
  
  If you want to convey pity, instead look at him in the face and smile, it will tell him u respect him as a dignified individual. Never underestimate the power of a smile. Theres no need to purposely avoid him or his gaze by looking all over the place. It would seem forced, unnatural and purposely an attempt to avoid him. Its the most neutral approach but i don't think youd feel good after doing that.
• DriftingGuy

  1 Nov 05, 01:21

  
  Problem is people don't like to smile at strangers nowadays... and I blame it on population increase.. the world is getting bigger but so are the people you don't know
• kaobeikaobu

  1 Nov 05, 01:27

  just be yourself. what they want is to be treated as normal people. if you cant resist staring at them, just smile.
• Gackt247

  1 Nov 05, 02:49

  1 look.. maybe 2nd look.. n tt's it.. i don't wish to contribute to already countless stares the disabled are subjected to.
  
  But hey, if i can help, I'll gladly help. Buy tissue from limbless elderly. Pay (not donate) the blind busker for his songs. I've sent home tt mentally-challenged wheelchair-bound lottery vendor in the Yishun MRT underpass twice.
  
  If one cant be helpful, juz be considerate will not take much effort.
• The Emperor

  1 Nov 05, 03:43

  Originally posted by starblue:

  see a person with a handicap, or badly deformed body on the streets? do you:
  
  1) take a second or third look (people who does that often seem to pity the person, and it doesnt feel right to me)
  
  2) look nonchalent (you dun wan the person to feel too self conscious of himself, but other people will see you as unfeeling and cold)
  
  cos u see, i saw this guy, nearly half bent over at his back, trying hard to get down and take a seat at the busstop. then i observed people at the bus stop. some aunties were intently looking at home, pity filling their eyes. and i dun think the man feels good being stared at like that.
  
  i, on the other hand, tried to concentrate on the traffic, didnt want to pressure the guy with my stare lah. but i reckon i look cold.
  
  liddat how?? what will you do? have you see such situations, and how do you feel about them?

  hahaha... we've got the same pattern sia..
  
  it's just t, at first i'll take a glance b4 minding my own business later on.
• BadzMaro

  1 Nov 05, 14:30

  I'll look at him.... thinking , wondering.. contemplating to myself.. then get on with what i am doing n thank God i didnt end up like him/
• rainee

  1 Nov 05, 15:57

  I will take a short glance then look away, dun wan to make them feel too conscious abt themselves
• mystiv

  1 Nov 05, 21:06

  for me, either glance and look away. or go help
  
  IMO, kinda pointless to look and smile. yes i know, it conveys the right message, but, whats the use? might as well go help
• starblue

  1 Nov 05, 22:27

  icic... so you people also do the same thing as me... cos that day i felt rather.... bad for appearing so cold and unaffected....
• Gackt247

  2 Nov 05, 00:50

  Originally posted by starblue:

  icic... so you people also do the same thing as me... cos that day i felt rather.... bad for appearing so cold and unaffected....

  Nah.. comfort urself by telling urself tt u r considerate for others' feelings.
• m)phosis

  2 Nov 05, 00:53

  i think i will try to glance away... i dun think they enjoy the attention... liek everyone looking at his handicap..i hope by not lookin at hime will makes him feel that he is like the rest of the ppl on the streets...i think all these stares only make him more concious of his handicap...
• thinkdifferent

  2 Nov 05, 00:59

  I agree with what said wealthball and Gackt247. Either smile or handle them as they were not different from others, if needed then help.
  
  A new question is, what would you do if you were a disabled person?
  Try to lead as normal life as possible or hide at home or something else?
• Lance_han

  2 Nov 05, 01:01

  Originally posted by thinkdifferent:

  I agree with what said wealthball and Gackt247. Either smile or handle them as they were not different from others, if needed then help.
  
  A new question is, what would you do if you were a disabled person?
  Try to lead as normal life as possible or hide at home or something else?

  is doing both a possible answer for your Qn...?
• thinkdifferent

  2 Nov 05, 01:07

  Originally posted by Lance_han:

  is doing both a possible answer for your Qn...?

  haha, it's a possible answer but do you think hiding at home is a normal life?
• browniebaobao

  2 Nov 05, 01:07

  well, i wun take a second look.
  
  tho he might be used to it, but I juz find it rude.
  
  I will juz treat him like a normal person.
  
  Ever served some handicapped customers. I will be more patient and considerate with them. Smile and talk with them more to make them feel welcome etc.
  
  I always think that everyone is handicap in his own way. Only a matter of whether it can be seen (physical) or not.
• Lance_han

  2 Nov 05, 01:08

  Originally posted by thinkdifferent:

  haha, it's a possible answer but do you think hiding at home is a normal life?

  why not? i'm doing tat right now since i have no money and i'm not even disabled..
• rainee

  2 Nov 05, 01:22

  Originally posted by browniebaobao:

  
  
  I always think that everyone is handicap in his own way. Only a matter of whether it can be seen (physical) or not.

  This is very true