>>I Dieci Perfetti<<
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gd niteOriginally posted by seow:Bye all.
To sb, hope your troubles will soon go away.
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woo..frm exp?Originally posted by renorenal:desperate guys will interpret any signals from you as you wanting them to get into your pants no matter what you do... ... -
...well since the problem has its root in the family, asking you to change drastically would only yield more anxiety and depression and the fear of not being able to trust certain groups of ppl you walk with in life...Originally posted by starblue:i know i tend to keep things to myself. but i cant help it. maybe cos i am always left to fend for myself in my family. no matter what age i am, i'm always told, "you're the big sis. you should know better and handle your own prob. if u dunno then ur brothers how?" and my bros arent helping either, they squirm when i start to show my depression. so in the end, i'll just go take a bath and come out as if nothing happened. and wait till midnight.
...give yourself a chance, saying no and cannot is definite absolute, and it brings no results at all... trying it out yields results, being it a failure or a pass, it doesn't matter, you learn something in life, you learn something wrong...
like thomas edison said, after so many failures of his light bulb invention, he just said, no, i didn't fail, i just found out # ways how not to make a light bulb -
it'll happen... until both are brutally honest, with "hey, i like you but not as a boyfriend/girlfriend, but as a pal" or "hey, i would like to pursue this further as your girl/guy" signals will be crossed..
and even when they are brutally frank, sometimes, they mistake their own feelings...
so take heart.. it's not you.. it's just... life..
always look on the bright side of things... from our mistakes, we learn.. and because we learn, we grow -
hahaha... and speaking that i don have any girlfriends before... nope... i see a lot of these cases in the clinic...Originally posted by alexkusu:woo..frm exp? -
wise words indeed.Originally posted by the Bear:it'll happen... until both are brutally honest, with "hey, i like you but not as a boyfriend/girlfriend, but as a pal" or "hey, i would like to pursue this further as your girl/guy" signals will be crossed..
and even when they are brutally frank, sometimes, they mistake their own feelings...
so take heart.. it's not you.. it's just... life..
always look on the bright side of things... from our mistakes, we learn.. and because we learn, we grow -
+1Originally posted by the Bear:it'll happen... until both are brutally honest, with "hey, i like you but not as a boyfriend/girlfriend, but as a pal" or "hey, i would like to pursue this further as your girl/guy" signals will be crossed..
and even when they are brutally frank, sometimes, they mistake their own feelings...
so take heart.. it's not you.. it's just... life..
always look on the bright side of things... from our mistakes, we learn.. and because we learn, we grow -
u dun need to be afraid of them and how they wud react after you reject them. They might come to like you after some time, this is something inevitable. It is not bcos u send out the wrong signs or anything. Some guys might just like you because he thinks he enjoys hanging out with you and he finds you nice to talk to, etc.Originally posted by starblue:again... i do not hate guys ok...i just... dunno how to face them anymore after all that happened...
So dun blame yourself for everything. Dun put too much burden on yourself, otherwise u will be the one bearing all the sufferings. -
i'm speaking in general guys, not your friends... since you did mention that you send out the wrong signals, implying not only to your friends, but to the general community as well...Originally posted by starblue:they are not desperate guys ok. they are really decent guys, if not i wouldnt have befriended them in the first place. i dunno lah... dunno wads wrong with me. maybe i really do send out the wrong signals...
somehow, we are obliged to say that it's all in your mind, but you need to know... are u the one thinking that you are sending out wrong signals, or are they interpreting it wrongly, in this case, it is their mind... -
think can open one counselling center here and u become the advisor?Originally posted by the Bear:it'll happen... until both are brutally honest, with "hey, i like you but not as a boyfriend/girlfriend, but as a pal" or "hey, i would like to pursue this further as your girl/guy" signals will be crossed..
and even when they are brutally frank, sometimes, they mistake their own feelings...
so take heart.. it's not you.. it's just... life..
always look on the bright side of things... from our mistakes, we learn.. and because we learn, we grow
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nope... it's for you to compare the extremes... not referring to you...Originally posted by starblue:again... i do not hate guys ok...i just... dunno how to face them anymore after all that happened... -
dun look sad cos of me. i think i will be able to accept that more easily if he were "empathetic".Originally posted by Othello_Red:then what would you prefer that person to do? -
a warm smile and a long, tight hug?Originally posted by starblue:dun look sad cos of me. i think i will be able to accept that more easily if he were "empathetic". -
>>starblue - i dunno whether you are a perfectionist or not, or a high achiever, but often enough, you can't please human beings, not all of them, some will grow to hate you for your success while you enjoy the champagne while others will join you...Originally posted by rainee:u dun need to be afraid of them and how they wud react after you reject them. They might come to like you after some time, this is something inevitable. It is not bcos u send out the wrong signs or anything. Some guys might just like you because he thinks he enjoys hanging out with you and he finds you nice to talk to, etc.
So dun blame yourself for everything. Dun put too much burden on yourself, otherwise u will be the one bearing all the sufferings. -
sometimes, he might feel pain for you...it is because he cares that he will feel the pain when you tell him that you are hurting...if he doesn't care, he wun even feel anything...Originally posted by starblue:dun look sad cos of me. i think i will be able to accept that more easily if he were "empathetic". -
empathetic meaning to put yourself in one's shoes and understand one's condition, but not too overly involved into it until it becomes sympathetic...Originally posted by Othello_Red:a warm smile and a long, tight hug? -
i did mention it the other time didnt i?? about how i dunno how to face them after i found out they had a thing about me... haiz.. nvm lah, i know a lot of things i'm just feeling too much., but i cant help myself...Originally posted by rainee:u dun need to be afraid of them and how they wud react after you reject them. They might come to like you after some time, this is something inevitable. It is not bcos u send out the wrong signs or anything. Some guys might just like you because he thinks he enjoys hanging out with you and he finds you nice to talk to, etc.
So dun blame yourself for everything. Dun put too much burden on yourself, otherwise u will be the one bearing all the sufferings. -
and going beyond that, leading the person out of the depths...hence the warm smile and the hug...Originally posted by renorenal:empathetic meaning to put yourself in one's shoes and understand one's condition, but not too overly involved into it until it becomes sympathetic... -
can't...
this physician can't heal himself sometimesOriginally posted by rainee:think can open one counselling center here and u become the advisor? -
>>starblue - precisely... not every guys share their emotions with you by crying as well, so with the info at hand, you should try to be open and try to share your feelings to those whom may not be that close, but okay close... test the water before you try of course...Originally posted by rainee:sometimes, he might feel pain for you...it is because he cares that he will feel the pain when you tell him that you are hurting...if he doesn't care, he wun even feel anything... -
yea, but you can't blame them for feeling that way, and you dun have to feel awkward about it oso...and if they are ur true frens, they will not break off the frenship just bcos u tell them that u do not want to be more than frens...Originally posted by starblue:i did mention it the other time didnt i?? about how i dunno how to face them after i found out they had a thing about me... haiz.. nvm lah, i know a lot of things i'm just feeling too much., but i cant help myself... -
same here..jus cant understand ownself sometimes, but okie when it comes to other pple prob...hahahaOriginally posted by the Bear:can't...
this physician can't heal himself sometimes -
but i feel bad to make someone hurt just because i am hurting. i always feel that since telling someone that problem will only make me feel better but wun solve the problem, and will make the other person sadder, then why bring it upon him? i have to be the one to solve it in the end, and there is no use crying to someone over it and making him sad....Originally posted by rainee:sometimes, he might feel pain for you...it is because he cares that he will feel the pain when you tell him that you are hurting...if he doesn't care, he wun even feel anything... -
as a friend yes, as a doctor no...Originally posted by Othello_Red:and going beyond that, leading the person out of the depths...hence the warm smile and the hug... -
why must think so much? just do it!Originally posted by starblue:i did mention it the other time didnt i?? about how i dunno how to face them after i found out they had a thing about me... haiz.. nvm lah, i know a lot of things i'm just feeling too much., but i cant help myself...