>>I Dieci Perfetti<<
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he's not depressed because of you...
he's worried because you are depressed and wishes he can make things better for you..
it's not depression... it's care
it's a GOOD THING!Originally posted by starblue:i will feel worse if i feel that person is getting depressed cos of me. lolz...
actually i have sort of resigned myself to be independent... just that occasionally i will feel so tired of it, i just wanna stop taking care of myself, and let my stomach eat itself out or things liddat. nobody cares anyway, i always feel, when it happens lah. -
kekekeOriginally posted by renorenal:i think you spelled that wrongly... -
did i?Originally posted by renorenal:i think you spelled that wrongly... -
sometimes they think they shud leave u alone ma...cos maybe they sense from ur reaction that you dun like them to be around when you are feeling sad...Originally posted by starblue:probs is, i tend to clam up. and not many people can pry me open when it happens. and they give up trying. so... i got no choice but to remain clamed.
so u need to not fear abt asking them to stay if dats wat u really want...dun contradict your own feelings... -
Originally posted by rainee:
+1
[b]
sometimes they think they shud leave u alone ma...cos maybe they sense from ur reaction that you dun like them to be around when you are feeling sad...
so u need to not fear abt asking them to stay if dats wat u really want...dun contradict your own feelings...[/b] -
you may not be able to reason them away, but you can teach yourself to think differently. i was like that in the past. now, little by little, i'm teaching myself to cross the bridges when i get to them.Originally posted by starblue:yeah... if only i can REASON my problems away.... -
i guess whenever someone suddenly gets overly concerned with me, i'll sort of jump back a bit, and be unsure of how to respond. i do hug my friends sometimes, when they're down, but when they do it to me, i just feel weird and i just go, "hey dun worry ok, i'm fine." or somthing lidat.Originally posted by renorenal:>>starblue - it be best if you could tell us what you mean by 'allergic' particularly your definition through your reaction, responds and thinking alike...
as for strangers, i really dun like being touched, however casually. a frown is always inevitable, but sometimes i even feel.... claustophobic... -
>> starblue
perhaps your problem would be not getting enough attention from your family
>> hence leading to you not being able to open up to your family members
>> over-time you begin to experience this and finally accept that it's all on yourself if you want to survive
>> you then bring this to the outside world and you can't share your problems with others for the fear that your respond will be like that of your family members (subconsciously)
>> you then start to shut it down and make your own decisions and definitions of what you expect from a person who is close to you
>> leading eventually when you have problems overloading and clouding your mind, you can't free it out because there is few ppl to talk to and they might never be there
>> loss of trust and hope on those when it comes to sharing your problems and sadness -
agree w reno...
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lol u can see a lot of this kinda case in AA...all these guys make me mad sometimes...they themselves willingly do everything for the girl even tho she already make it clear she doesnt want to have them as her special one...after some time they got bored and starts saying that all girls are sluts and only want to take them for a ride...Originally posted by alfagal:+1
these words came from a guy..a friend of mine..i heard it w my own ears
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Originally posted by hisoka:did i? alfagal got it...
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not proud of the fact, but some guys are just b*stards...Originally posted by rainee:lol u can see a lot of this kinda case in AA...all these guys make me mad sometimes...they themselves willingly do everything for the girl even tho she already make it clear she doesnt want to have them as her special one...after some time they got bored and starts saying that all girls are sluts and only want to take them for a ride... -
tatz y we are working in e same clinic...Originally posted by renorenal: alfagal got it... -
you feel weird on yourself or weird of the person who hugs you?Originally posted by starblue:i guess whenever someone suddenly gets overly concerned with me, i'll sort of jump back a bit, and be unsure of how to respond. i do hug my friends sometimes, when they're down, but when they do it to me, i just feel weird and i just go, "hey dun worry ok, i'm fine." or somthing lidat.
as for strangers, i really dun like being touched, however casually. a frown is always inevitable, but sometimes i even feel.... claustophobic... -
i know i got it to but if you read the edited version you will know i used that word intentionallyOriginally posted by renorenal: alfagal got it... -
Originally posted by alfagal:tatz y we are working in e same clinic...
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I think that if he himself agrees to make a fool of himself in the first place, he has no one to blame but himself...cos the girl never asks him to do anything for her...Originally posted by Othello_Red:not proud of the fact, but some guys are just b*stards...
totally no sincerity.. -
Originally posted by hisoka:i know i got it to but if you read the edited version you will know i used that word intentionally
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yeah...i agree...the ego would have been a huge hinderance if anything developed.Originally posted by rainee:I think that if he himself agrees to make a fool of himself in the first place, he has no one to blame but himself...cos the girl never asks him to do anything for her...
totally no sincerity.. -
u dunno my family background, so something u said are off the point. u see, it has a lot to do with my dad, the way he brought us up. we were never allowed to question, to raise views contradictory to his. so even if we do disagree, we have to suppress them. heck, my brother cant even really argue with anyone, he will jsut burst out crying. i was liddat once too, cos it feels like... i got so much i wanna say to you, but i just cant. cos all along i have to suppress my own thoughts, so much so tha tnow even if i wan to argue out loud, i cant. only tears will come.Originally posted by renorenal:>> starblue
perhaps your problem would be not getting enough attention from your family
>> hence leading to you not being able to open up to your family members
>> over-time you begin to experience this and finally accept that it's all on yourself if you want to survive
>> you then bring this to the outside world and you can't share your problems with others for the fear that your respond will be like that of your family members (subconsciously)
>> you then start to shut it down and make your own decisions and definitions of what you expect from a person who is close to you
>> leading eventually when you have problems overloading and clouding your mind, you can't free it out because there is few ppl to talk to and they might never be there
>> loss of trust and hope on those when it comes to sharing your problems and sadness
but i am more "fortunate" in a sense cos i am the eldest, i am the spokesmen for my bros. they used to tell me things they wanna say against dad but never did. so little by little i started to express my own thoughts and my brother's for them. of cos being very tame and mild in the beginning. but dad saw that as rebellion. and i am hence forth labeled as that.
i can tell u that even now, whever i argue with my dad, i will still cry. it's that strong instinct of suppression yet wanting so much to express things that is so.... painful sometimes...
that is why until now, i'd rather supress things than to fight against it and express it. i can express myself much better on writing than in speech... but that doesnt help much. -
...there is no such thing as the perfect attitude which blends in the community, but there is such a thing as the perfect attitude for oneself to live with themselves in a harmonius melody...
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yeah...Originally posted by renorenal:...there is no such thing as the perfect attitude which blends in the community, but there is such a thing as the perfect attitude for oneself to live with themselves in a harmonius melody...
not everyone is like ur dad in e community -
wad u mean???Originally posted by renorenal:you feel weird on yourself or weird of the person who hugs you?
i guess in my family, there are not overt displays of affection or concern. especially for me, cos i am always the big sis, capable of taking care of myself. so i dun get direct concern wadsoever. so when there is too much concern, i just feel... wierd. -
you must learn how to break out of this routine yea...Originally posted by starblue:u dunno my family background, so something u said are off the point. u see, it has a lot to do with my dad, the way he brought us up. we were never allowed to question, to raise views contradictory to his. so even if we do disagree, we have to suppress them. heck, my brother cant even really argue with anyone, he will jsut burst out crying. i was liddat once too, cos it feels like... i got so much i wanna say to you, but i just cant. cos all along i have to suppress my own thoughts, so much so tha tnow even if i wan to argue out loud, i cant. only tears will come.
but i am more "fortunate" in a sense cos i am the eldest, i am the spokesmen for my bros. they used to tell me things they wanna say against dad but never did. so little by little i started to express my own thoughts and my brother's for them. of cos being very tame and mild in the beginning. but dad saw that as rebellion. and i am hence forth labeled as that.
i can tell u that even now, whever i argue with my dad, i will still cry. it's that strong instinct of suppression yet wanting so much to express things that is so.... painful sometimes...
that is why until now, i'd rather supress things than to fight against it and express it. i can express myself much better on writing than in speech... but that doesnt help much.
I am also trying...
cos in my family, I am also not taught to argue back...my mom expects me to just agree with everything she asks of me...if I argue, I might get beaten...
but after I got here, I learn how important it is to be able to stand up for urself, for your own opinion, to voice them out when you want to instead of contradicting your heart's desire and just suppressing them... -
Starblue, basically ur problem is like this
You should trust others more and open up yourself gradually. Fear of trusting someone because you may think that someone maybe gone in the future. What is life without risk? How bout coming out of that shell of yours? Have high expectations on yourself and expect others to reciprocate to it. People are different. Thats what make them unique
Thats all there is to it. There is no need for you to blow things out of proportion. Follow the Occam's Razor principle Entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem, or translated into "Entities should not be multiplied beyond necessity" .