Love - Understanding as time passes?
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this thought crossed my mind while reading my friend's blog
adults/parents often say that teenagers are too young to understand what love is, and should just concentrate on their studies
'too young to understand what love is'
will a person naturally understand what love is as he grows? how can a person know and understand what true love is, if he has not even experienced what he thinks is 'true love'?
its just like you have never saw a tiger in your life, and at most heard descriptions of it. 1 day, you see something that fits the descriptions, and you assume that its a tiger. is that how it is supposed to be? 'concentrate on their studies'
why do people always condemn students before they even try? does entering a relationship equate to neglecting the studies? im 100% certain that its not necessary the case..then why are teens 'condemned' even before anything begins? -
Your first exposure to love is when
You're born > your parents showered you with attention.
All the late nights enduring you wail.
And the heartaches they have everytime they see you fall.
You could very well be their reason why they're still continually striving and doing their best. -
?Originally posted by M©+square: -
well, lots of parents think their children will be driven to distraction.. and looking at the problems running around, for good reason..
however, i would say that a lot of people do not even begin to understand what love is, no matter how old they are...
heck! i've seen many people who think they know, but don't even understand one shred of what it means...
and.. hey... i don't think it'll drive some to distraction.. i mean, hey, if i had someone beside my in school, i'd study with her and for her, i'd probably try my damnest to be good so that she can be proud of me
but that's me.. how many think like that? -
meOriginally posted by the Bear:well, lots of parents think their children will be driven to distraction.. and looking at the problems running around, for good reason..
however, i would say that a lot of people do not even begin to understand what love is, no matter how old they are...
heck! i've seen many people who think they know, but don't even understand one shred of what it means...
and.. hey... i don't think it'll drive some to distraction.. i mean, hey, if i had someone beside my in school, i'd study with her and for her, i'd probably try my damnest to be good so that she can be proud of me
but that's me.. how many think like that?
and furthermore, they can encourage and motivate each other..supporting them, teaching them etc.. -
I think parents felt its their obligation as a parent to steer their kids to the right direction. Love can move mountains. Or it can even screw up one's life. So I guess they are just wanting the best for their kids. No matter how many times they tell their kids stuff like studies are more important, they realise they cant do anything much once their kid falls in love or gets a bf/gf.Originally posted by mystiv:this thought crossed my mind while reading my friend's blog
adults/parents often say that teenagers are too young to understand what love is, and should just concentrate on their studies 'too young to understand what love is'
will a person naturally understand what love is as he grows? how can a person know and understand what true love is, if he has not even experienced what he thinks is 'true love'?
its just like you have never saw a tiger in your life, and at most heard descriptions of it. 1 day, you see something that fits the descriptions, and you assume that its a tiger. is that how it is supposed to be? 'concentrate on their studies'
why do people always condemn students before they even try? does entering a relationship equate to neglecting the studies? im 100% certain that its not necessary the case..then why are teens 'condemned' even before anything begins? -
not really. they can force their kid to break upOriginally posted by alexkusu:I think parents felt its their obligation as a parent to steer their kids to the right direction. Love can move mountains. Or it can even screw up one's life. So I guess they are just wanting the best for their kids. No matter how many times they tell their kids stuff like studies are more important, they realise they cant do anything much once their kid falls in love or gets a bf/gf.
and what about the 'too young to understand what love is' ? -
i think when parents say that their children are too young to understand wad love is, they actually mean "they are too young to understand how loving someone is like when you are an adult (which you will be for most parts of your life)".
as a person matures in his life course, he will start to want different things in a partner. and it is only his "adult" version of this "want" that will see him through to marriage and a life-long relationship. so before he reaches this stage in life, his priorities in choosing a partner may be utter bullsht and parents feel that this is like "wasting" his studying time in "trial and error-ing" with r/s, since ultimately, he will end up with a different set of ideals when he is finally ready to get married.
i hope i am making sense here...
the second issue is the distracting factor. although it is true that well adjusted individuals can balance different aspects of their lives, it is also true that when relationships are affected, their moods, behaviours, studies are affected. their priorities change to focus on r/s instead of studies. and to a parent, young love is not something that can be taken for granted to last. hence, they will prefer their child to "concentrate on their studies" to having a relationship anytime. -
force kids lor.. but if kids very stubborn, parents cant do anything right? Look at romeo n julietOriginally posted by mystiv:not really. they can force their kid to break up
and what about the 'too young to understand what love is' ? -
romeo and juliet is a classic of a kids-don't-do-this-at-home....Originally posted by alexkusu:force kids lor.. but if kids very stubborn, parents cant do anything right? Look at romeo n juliet 
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but would a person even know what he's looking for in a partner, when he hasnt even 'been through love' before?Originally posted by starblue:i think when parents say that their children are too young to understand wad love is, they actually mean "they are too young to understand how loving someone is like when you are an adult (which you will be for most parts of your life)".
as a person matures in his life course, he will start to want different things in a partner. and it is only his "adult" version of this "want" that will see him through to marriage and a life-long relationship. so before he reaches this stage in life, his priorities in choosing a partner may be utter bullsht and parents feel that this is like "wasting" his studying time in "trial and error-ing" with r/s, since ultimately, he will end up with a different set of ideals when he is finally ready to get married.
i hope i am making sense here...
the second issue is the distracting factor. although it is true that well adjusted individuals can balance different aspects of their lives, it is also true that when relationships are affected, their moods, behaviours, studies are affected. their priorities change to focus on r/s instead of studies. and to a parent, young love is not something that can be taken for granted to last. hence, they will prefer their child to "concentrate on their studies" to having a relationship anytime.
ack, its like, you have never put on clothes before. gradually, you realize that you seem to like a certain type of clothing. but in the end when you put them on, it turns out to be uncomfortable
i believe its through past experience that will shape the qualities that a person is looking for in his partner..for its only through past experience that allows a person to be certain about the qualities..if not, its just gonna be 'i [i]think[i] i want my partner to be like that..'
as for the distracting factor, i agree..but then, why cant they be given a chance to 'prove themselves'? -
to a parent, schooling age isnt the time for "trying out" to see what kinda partner suits the child... cos no matter how u try out, when u grow up, it will change again. so previous efforts will be a waste of time.Originally posted by mystiv:but would a person even know what he's looking for in a partner, when he hasnt even 'been through love' before?
ack, its like, you have never put on clothes before. gradually, you realize that you seem to like a certain type of clothing. but in the end when you put them on, it turns out to be uncomfortable
i believe its through past experience that will shape the qualities that a person is looking for in his partner..for its only through past experience that allows a person to be certain about the qualities..if not, its just gonna be 'i [i]think[i] i want my partner to be like that..'
as for the distracting factor, i agree..but then, why cant they be given a chance to 'prove themselves'?
that's why u can see that parents object less when their kid is in their 18,19. cos it is the perfect time to try things out, since they are on the verge of entering adulthood, and their personalities are sort of fixed and everything...
you are young now, you prob wun really understand... it's cliched but true, that certain things, you will only get to understand only when you're older. -
Me.Originally posted by the Bear:well, lots of parents think their children will be driven to distraction.. and looking at the problems running around, for good reason..
however, i would say that a lot of people do not even begin to understand what love is, no matter how old they are...
heck! i've seen many people who think they know, but don't even understand one shred of what it means...
and.. hey... i don't think it'll drive some to distraction.. i mean, hey, if i had someone beside my in school, i'd study with her and for her, i'd probably try my damnest to be good so that she can be proud of me
but that's me.. how many think like that?
She dragged me to pass my AO Chinese and I made sure she got her Bs in GP and Lit.
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I believe parents always say they eat salt more than u eat rice. Haha.
Of course, they want the best for their children ar.
Some students can't handle love relationships well when they are studying. They often get distracted.
I think it was last yr ba.. a young boy jumped off a building because his gf wanted to break up with him. very saddening right? It pains the parents leh..
i think it's not only whether u understand or not.. it is also a matter of whether u are ready or not.. -
the replies lead me to another thought..how some parents never bother to explain their thoughts and actions..
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thats a common trait with all in powerOriginally posted by mystiv:the replies lead me to another thought..how some parents never bother to explain their thoughts and actions.. -
ack, but its like, its their own child, own flesh and blood. if they themselves dont bother explaining, and just leave them to wonder around in their thoughts, then who is actually in the position to explain?Originally posted by hisoka:thats a common trait with all in power -
i think some times its too troublesome + sometimes the kids just dun understand so you have to jsut order it.Originally posted by mystiv:ack, but its like, its their own child, own flesh and blood. if they themselves dont bother explaining, and just leave them to wonder around in their thoughts, then who is actually in the position to explain? -
lack of confidence to do a good job explaining when they themselves are unable to understand it well. and even if they could, their kids probably won't understand either.. scarly like some religious fanatics take their words out of context.Originally posted by mystiv:ack, but its like, its their own child, own flesh and blood. if they themselves dont bother explaining, and just leave them to wonder around in their thoughts, then who is actually in the position to explain? -
haha my parents oso forbid me to date when i m still studying
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I think it is true that as you grow older, your understanding of what love is changes
I think about the way I viewed love and relationship in my teens, and compare it to NOW, I would agree that it was certainly extremely immature - what I thought was love then, and my expectations in a relationship.
However, the unfortunate requisite of the change is the need to experience folly. Many people learn through personal stupidity, and need to run through the necessary gamut of rejection, loss, hurt, betrayal - before they understand what it means to love.
And I guess as parents, it is natural to want to protect their children from this pain, even if they know deep down inside, its necessary.
You can only know as much of Love as you have experienced it. -
hor!!! bad girl. disobey themOriginally posted by rainee:haha my parents oso forbid me to date when i m still studying -
Originally posted by hisoka:hor!!! bad girl. disobey them
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*yawns*....
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I would briefly attritribute it to the Asian Family Culture + Asian communication culture.Originally posted by mystiv:the replies lead me to another thought..how some parents never bother to explain their thoughts and actions..