What do you find the most challenging in a r/s?

• zheshi

  17 Aug 06, 13:32

  Commumication and understanding is the most challenging in the relationship. Everyone enter a relationship hoping their steady would be what they expected. But mostly it not, so in the end it up to them to accpect their other part or change them.
• SGpork

  17 Aug 06, 13:32

  Originally posted by rainee:

  lolz
  
  for me, it is more like my own family members...too restrictive, wan to stayover cannot, wan this cannot, wan that oso cannot

  thanks goodness i got all the freedom i want..
  
  
  
  but im restricting myself instead..
  
  
• alexkusu

  17 Aug 06, 14:42

  most common would be communication
  
  then maybe behaviour, after that maybe ur partner's friends, family members, etc
• starblue

  17 Aug 06, 22:08

  i think the most challenging thing for me in a r/s would be the toggling between my personal life and a life with him. i am a very private person, and i need a lot of space. and most guys i know don't give that much needed space when they are in a rs with a girl.
• alwaysdisturbed

  18 Aug 06, 00:51

  Originally posted by starblue:

  i think the most challenging thing for me in a r/s would be the toggling between my personal life and a life with him. i am a very private person, and i need a lot of space. and most guys i know don't give that much needed space when they are in a rs with a girl.

  means u are not ready to commit?
• starblue

  18 Aug 06, 08:38

  Originally posted by alwaysdisturbed:

  means u are not ready to commit?

  nope. i think committment and having space is different altogether. i can put in effort in maintaining a rs. but i still need my space.
  
  besides, i don't believe that one will lose his/her own life when in a rs. i see that as kinda immature. i dunno about you, but i am not going to put my rs in the first priority slot. that's just me.
• BadzMaro

  18 Aug 06, 12:47

  Originally posted by starblue:

  nope. i think committment and having space is different altogether. i can put in effort in maintaining a rs. but i still need my space.
  
  besides, i don't believe that one will lose his/her own life when in a rs. i see that as kinda immature. i dunno about you, but i am not going to put my rs in the first priority slot. that's just me.

  then how can u say u have commitment ?
  
  I say the hardest thing is to 'understand' the other person truly.
  
  
• browniebaobao

  18 Aug 06, 12:56

  I think it's to open him up and make him tell u his troubles..
  
  sometimes that makes me helpless..
  
  to love someone and see him so depressed in front of my eyes, yet i cant help him to release himself...
  
  most men chose to keep things to themselves and not telling their girl.. bcos of their ego and also dun want their girl to worry..
• starblue

  18 Aug 06, 23:44

  Originally posted by BadzMaro:

  then how can u say u have commitment ?
  
  I say the hardest thing is to 'understand' the other person truly.
  
  

  what, to you, is committment?
  
  in response to your statement, i believe that you should never strife to "truly" understand your partner. sometimes, when your guy/gal is undergoing some trouble, they don't want you to probe, or do anything. sometimes all they need is space.
• NeverSayGoodBye

  19 Aug 06, 14:11

  ..... The most challenging thing in a relationship would be with a girl who is very outgoing in her social life. She likes to mix around and surround herself with lots of friends. The challenge is big when she got more guys' friend than girls' friend. The challenge is even BIGGER when she have some very close male friends. Be prepared to share with her group of males close friends if you are in this type of relationship.
  
  .....From the outside, this type of girls looked free and easy. But in actual fact they guard their innocence very tightly. There will be lots of benefits if you are in this kind relationship, they can be very loyal, trustful and reciprocate your support. It's a big mountain to climb to know this type of girls, but the rewards are aplenty.
• NeverSayGoodBye

  19 Aug 06, 14:16

  Originally posted by starblue:

  i think the most challenging thing for me in a r/s would be the toggling between my personal life and a life with him. i am a very private person, and i need a lot of space. and most guys i know don't give that much needed space when they are in a rs with a girl.

  ..... Hmm..when you said personal space is that you want to be alone doing your own stuffs or you still want to go out with your friends(girl/guy)?
• black.S

  19 Aug 06, 14:19

  u sure or not?dun really think so leh.Likewise if u had a lot of pretty and sexy gals around u,will u b loyal,trustful?ask urself
  
  

  Originally posted by NeverSayGoodBye:

  ..... The most challenging thing in a relationship would be with a girl who is very outgoing in her social life. She likes to mix around and surround herself with lots of friends. The challenge is big when she got more guys' friend than girls' friend. The challenge is even BIGGER when she have some very close male friends. Be prepared to share with her group of males close friends if you are in this type of relationship.
  
  .....From the outside, this type of girls looked free and easy. But in actual fact they guard their innocence very tightly. There will be lots of benefits if you are in this kind relationship, they can be very loyal, trustful and reciprocate your support. It's a big mountain to climb to know this type of girls, but the rewards are aplenty.

• NeverSayGoodBye

  19 Aug 06, 14:21

  Originally posted by starblue:

  nope. i think committment and having space is different altogether. i can put in effort in maintaining a rs. but i still need my space.
  
  besides, i don't believe that one will lose his/her own life when in a rs. i see that as kinda immature. i dunno about you, but i am not going to put my rs in the first priority slot. that's just me.

  ..... I agreed that to be in a relationship you need not to lose your self. But if you are not putting your relationship in first priority, wouldn't your boyfriend think that you don't love him that much?
• NeverSayGoodBye

  19 Aug 06, 14:29

  Originally posted by black.S:

  u sure or not?dun really think so leh.Likewise if u had a lot of pretty and sexy gals around u,will u b loyal,trustful?ask urself
  
  

  ..... That's why i had mention earlier, doesn't mean that i have lots of sexy girls around me i will be a chronic flirt. If i can singled out one of the girl out from these group of sexy girls to be my girlfriend, i will be loyal to her. Of course this girl must be very special, unique and stand out for me to stay loyal to her. She also must has lots of self conviction inorder for me to trust her fully.
• technoboy

  19 Aug 06, 14:29

  Edited

• alfagal

  19 Aug 06, 14:47

  communications
  trust (fidelity)
  honesty
• alwaysdisturbed

  19 Aug 06, 14:51

  Originally posted by alfagal:

  communications
  trust (fidelity)
  honesty

  i believe these are the basic blocks for a stable r/s
• oxford mushroom

  19 Aug 06, 18:06

  Originally posted by starblue:

  i think the most challenging thing for me in a r/s would be the toggling between my personal life and a life with him. i am a very private person, and i need a lot of space. and most guys i know don't give that much needed space when they are in a rs with a girl.

  Reminds me of my colleague who said the same thing...He's working in London and his wife is in Iran...plenty of space
• ShrodingersCat

  19 Aug 06, 18:19

  Well ya.. i think ... to remember not to be selfish when it comes to space and time....
  
  There is so many things I can do by myself, with my friends, to do the things I like and enjoy, that sometimes I forget to consider him, primarily because essentially I am much more sociable and have more interests than him. So really need to constantly remind myself and put in the effort to plan time together and not let the tide sweep us apart is a difficult challenge.
• starblue

  19 Aug 06, 21:55

  Originally posted by NeverSayGoodBye:

  ..... Hmm..when you said personal space is that you want to be alone doing your own stuffs or you still want to go out with your friends(girl/guy)?

  both. when i say "personal space", i am referring to my own world. to not have to change every aspect of my "previous, single" life to accomodate for this rs together.
  
  take for instance, i love to go to the library to read for an entire afternoon on some saturdays. when i a rs, i hope that he will understand that need and not expect me to give that up for a date with him. he can join me in the reading, but don't expect me to entertain him during that time.
  
  (but of cos, him accompanying me in reading and really truly loving it would be a point for me to love him all the more. but that's another point.)
• starblue

  19 Aug 06, 21:56

  Originally posted by NeverSayGoodBye:

  ..... I agreed that to be in a relationship you need not to lose your self. But if you are not putting your relationship in first priority, wouldn't your boyfriend think that you don't love him that much?

  why must everyone put a rs in the first priority??
  
  why??
  
  if i don't put him first in my life, does that means i don't love him that much? what does "that much" mean anyway?
• oxford mushroom

  19 Aug 06, 23:05

  Originally posted by starblue:

  both. when i say "personal space", i am referring to my own world. to not have to change every aspect of my "previous, single" life to accomodate for this rs together.
  
  take for instance, i love to go to the library to read for an entire afternoon on some saturdays. when i a rs, i hope that he will understand that need and not expect me to give that up for a date with him. he can join me in the reading, but don't expect me to entertain him during that time.
  
  (but of cos, him accompanying me in reading and really truly loving it would be a point for me to love him all the more. but that's another point.)

  Hmm....any cute librarians around? That'll solve your problem
  
  To be honest, I am a bit like that too...think I will sit somewhere with a book and let my gf go shopping on her own. Now and then she will deposit her shopping bags with me and go shop again...works well for me
• ShrodingersCat

  19 Aug 06, 23:11

  Originally posted by NeverSayGoodBye:

  ..... I agreed that to be in a relationship you need not to lose your self. But if you are not putting your relationship in first priority, wouldn't your boyfriend think that you don't love him that much?

  I think if my partner needs me to pander to his needs/wants ALL the time in order to feel that I love him a lot and think the rship is an important part of my life .... then I think he really needs to grow up and have a lot more confidence in himself.
• Simpleheat

  19 Aug 06, 23:18

  Temptation and communication s the most challenging in a r/s!!!
  
  Recently ,I met a gal who is both physically and character wise better than my ger... Really hard to believe can met such perfect gal! But I tell myself to be responsible and loving to my ger... Of cos,sometimes will think of the gal too. Cos she is so perfect!
• olala

  20 Aug 06, 00:40

  Communication and looking for new intrests to maintain r/s