What do you find the most challenging in a r/s?
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/raises eyebrowOriginally posted by BadzMaro:Just to answer the question about the honeymoon bit , after ur honeymoon, meaning getting married already , meaning u will be pretty much spend ur life together until divorced , or one of yous died... or both dead. So i guess such a loooooooong time together will surely .. 'dampen' the 'passion' for each other. THen again maybe it doesnt ? Thats why the process of dating n a long relationship slowly builds up understanding each other so as u are married knowingly knowing u want and can be married to each other.. till death do us part. But of course ammout of attention given is not really an accurate assessment of straying i agree in that. My friend married with wife n a kid still goes Karaoke , GRO's but still loves the wife. I dont see anything wrong with that btw..~
actually, "honeymoon period" refers to the initial phase of courtship where couples wanna spend all their time together and can live on water and each other alone. not the real honeymoon for marriage. -
ar.... ~Originally posted by starblue:/raises eyebrow
actually, "honeymoon period" refers to the initial phase of courtship where couples wanna spend all their time together and can live on water and each other alone. not the real honeymoon for marriage.
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..... Yeahh..where are the other guysOriginally posted by starblue:[quote]Originally posted by NeverSayGoodBye:
[b]
i think you're not a very good judge of character. you say rainee jie is not emotional, but she is. and you say i am emotional, but i am not. at least, i do not show emotion easily.
if the guy is still as much in love with me as before he "liked" the other gal, why would he have told me he like that gal? personally, i cannot like two guys at the same time (in the romantic way). if i start to like another guy, then it only means i'm loving my guy a lot less than before). if my guy say he can like two gals at the same time, and that it doesnt mean he loves me any less, then i'm not sure if i want him anymore....
or maybe we're defining things differently, and are talking about different things??
when a guy is straying, he will pay less attention to you, you say?? then i have a question. after the honey moon period, where the rs gets to the plateu phase, does the guy still show that he pays as much attention to you as before?? i think such things will "dampen" down a bit. and the amt of attention he seems to pay is not a very accurate assessment of straying. that's my opinion. what do the guys have to say about this?
honestly, where are the other guys in SH??? we need your imput also leh...
Actually i am talking about "crush" not "liking" A crush is just a temporary attraction, it won't hurt your r/s i supposed? Everyday we met so many different kinds of people, chances of attracted to someone is possible even if you are in a r/s.
The guy will pay less attention after the honeymoon period, that is understandable. He might be going through a tough spell in his life, stress at work, family problem or personal problems. But if he can miss the two big dark circles uncle your eyes or he didn't notice your new blue coloured hair, then you have to switch on the radar liao. Normally girls have this intuitive power to sense when something is not right. So you have an advantage over guys.
Was having drink over the weekend with my regulars pals(guys & gals) in a pub. Among our group there is a guy and a girl who are interested in each other. Few days before we met up, the guy had a small misunderstanding with this girl which clearly made her very angry. This girl talk to us as per normal, joking and having fun, but keep ignoring this guy. She even gave him hostile look when he tried to talk to her. Later before leaving the place, she said bye and shake hands with us but not to this guy.
After this girl left, my guy friend looked very worried and asked us wheather the girl is still interested in him. We told him that he should be happy instead, the way the girl showed her emotional side was a good hint that she got feeling for him. Give her a few days to cool down but at the mean time don't go and pester her. This advice was given by guys. Do you think we got it right??
Fyi, the other girls didn't want to say anything, girls support girls mah, they were also angry with this guy. -
i think u 2 think too much liaw..
talk too much crock ..he he... i am just too lazy to type out such long sentences..he he ! PLS SUMMARISE PPLS! -
..... what's the meaning of this by saying "Obscure kind of love"?
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ambiguous kind of love?Originally posted by NeverSayGoodBye:..... what's the meaning of this by saying "Obscure kind of love"?
maybe the guy/girl is not sure abt his/her feelings? -
.....hmm.....is it true that when a girl had already fall in love with a guy she started to have this insecurity feeling? This "insecurity feeling" is telling her just a bit more be careful before taking the next step? Can i say at this moment the girl is rather emotional towards the guy? Whatever he do or said can affect her strongly?Originally posted by rainee:ambiguous kind of love?
maybe the guy/girl is not sure abt his/her feelings? -
i read sumwhere that there are 5 stages to dating...Originally posted by NeverSayGoodBye:.....hmm.....is it true that when a girl had already fall in love with a guy she started to have this insecurity feeling? This "insecurity feeling" is telling her just a bit more be careful before taking the next step? Can i say at this moment the girl is rather emotional towards the guy? Whatever he do or said can affect her strongly?
1. Attraction
2. Uncertainty
3. Exclusivity
4. Intimacy
5. Engagement
So maybe the girl is currently in the second stage? She is uncertain abt her feelings, maybe it is more like a protective instinct that tells her to control the depth of her feelings towards the guy, esp if the guy is giving her mixed signals as well. -
..... the five stages very logicalOriginally posted by rainee:i read sumwhere that there are 5 stages to dating...
1. Attraction
2. Uncertainty
3. Exclusivity
4. Intimacy
5. Engagement
So maybe the girl is currently in the second stage? She is uncertain abt her feelings, maybe it is more like a protective instinct that tells her to control the depth of her feelings towards the guy, esp if the guy is giving her mixed signals as well.
mixed signals? what can that be? the guy must have do the right things to cause the girl to react this way....the word ''uncertain" is best to describe her feeling Do you think at this time is it advisable for the guy to ask her for "exclusivity"? or to wait for her to calm down first? What's your next step of action if you are the girl described above? -
well, the guys are oso prone to getting uncertain abt the r/s...so when he is in this stage, he will start to send out mixed signals as well...like maybe he will stop paying that much attention to the girl? Maybe sometimes he will show like he cares but there will be times when he starts to withdraw his affection because he is not sure abt how he is feeling as well. So maybe he thinks it is better not to show so much care and concernn towards the girl for now, because it might get the girl to become to fall too deeply for him. And since he is still uncertain, he would like to prevent this situation I guess, maybe to prevent the girl from getting hurt as well.Originally posted by NeverSayGoodBye:..... the five stages very logical
mixed signals? what can that be? the guy must have do the right things to cause the girl to react this way....the word ''uncertain" is best to describe her feeling Do you think at this time is it advisable for the guy to ask her for "exclhttp://www.sgforums.com/?action=post&thread_id=205405&q_post_id=5229052usivity"? or to wait for her to calm down first? What's your next step of action if you are the girl described above?
The guy should only ask her for exclusivity once he is completely sure abt his own feelings. For me as the girl, I will try to fill my time with other activities lor, and hang out more with my frens and family members so that I won't be hanging by the phone waiting for the guy to call to let me know that he is now interested in getting exclusive. So if I sense the guy is being uncertain, I will not stop my life because of him oso, but just get on with my life as usual...then wait for him to approach me to let me know that he is interested in getting into an exclusive r/s. -
Hello, I may not have posted much but...Originally posted by rainee:i read sumwhere that there are 5 stages to dating...
1. Attraction
2. Uncertainty
3. Exclusivity
4. Intimacy
5. Engagement
So maybe the girl is currently in the second stage? She is uncertain abt her feelings, maybe it is more like a protective instinct that tells her to control the depth of her feelings towards the guy, esp if the guy is giving her mixed signals as well.
I know of 4-stages of any relationship:
1. Introduction
2. Acquaintance
3. Friendship
4. Intimacy
One cannot take a r/s into the next level of intamacy without first going through the friendship phase.
You have a point there. This can also be another good measurement of how solid the friendship is before even considering intimacy.
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yea, must go thru the first 3 stages before proceeding to intimacy...dats y u see if a girl starts to have sex with a guy too early in a r/s, more usual than not, she will end up losing him.Originally posted by -[0]-:Hello, I may not have posted much but...
I know of 4-stages of any relationship:
1. Introduction
2. Acquaintance
3. Friendship
4. Intimacy
One cannot take a r/s into the next level of intamacy without first going through the friendship phase.
You have a point there. This can also be another good measurement of how solid the friendship is before even considering intimacy. -
I truly agree with you.Originally posted by rainee:yea, must go thru the first 3 stages before proceeding to intimacy...dats y u see if a girl starts to have sex with a guy too early in a r/s, more usual than not, she will end up losing him.
I'm always against that before marriage, because having premarital sex can make any guy lose his respect for the girl. Very risky. -
do u think they care man ? come on.. 90% of the girls i know want thier @ss to be tapped... n 90% of the guys just want to tap dat @ss.Originally posted by -[0]-:I truly agree with you.
I'm always against that before marriage, because having premarital sex can make any guy lose his respect for the girl. Very risky.
Hey , at FIRST i against these things before marriage.. but like pringles , once u pop , u cant stop!
anyways its hard la , but it has to come to n understanding of both before u can even commit to a relationship without sex man. I try before , about 4 months , then she broke. -
all the girls u have been with wants u to have sex with them before marriage?Originally posted by BadzMaro:do u think they care man ? come on.. 90% of the girls i know want thier @ss to be tapped... n 90% of the guys just want to tap dat @ss.
Hey , at FIRST i against these things before marriage.. but like pringles , once u pop , u cant stop!
anyways its hard la , but it has to come to n understanding of both before u can even commit to a relationship without sex man. I try before , about 4 months , then she broke.
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yeah man..Originally posted by rainee:all the girls u have been with wants u to have sex with them before marriage?
the latest one says she dun want to have sex , making the relationship based on the love for sex too.. so she say should not have lo. So i am like.. O.K.. cool.. anyways it doesnt matter to me anyways..he he... but after 3 months ++ one afternoon she just flipped and raped my @ss.. she says she cannot resist man.. maybe i think still young.. the urge... i dunno.. but thats what i think lo. -
lolz...dunno wat kinda gals u have been dating man, but definitely not my typeOriginally posted by BadzMaro:yeah man..
the latest one says she dun want to have sex , making the relationship based on the love for sex too.. so she say should not have lo. So i am like.. O.K.. cool.. anyways it doesnt matter to me anyways..he he... but after 3 months ++ one afternoon she just flipped and raped my @ss.. she says she cannot resist man.. maybe i think still young.. the urge... i dunno.. but thats what i think lo. -
he he... hey.. some of them damn good church girls somemore hor..he he...~!Originally posted by rainee:lolz...dunno wat kinda gals u have been dating man, but definitely not my type -
must be u have been poisoning their mindsOriginally posted by BadzMaro:he he... hey.. some of them damn good church girls somemore hor..he he...~!
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no hor! he he...Originally posted by rainee:must be u have been poisoning their minds
i always treat them with respect hor..he he... maybe now and then i tempt them..he he..~ -
.....sounds sensibleOriginally posted by rainee:well, the guys are oso prone to getting uncertain abt the r/s...so when he is in this stage, he will start to send out mixed signals as well...like maybe he will stop paying that much attention to the girl? Maybe sometimes he will show like he cares but there will be times when he starts to withdraw his affection because he is not sure abt how he is feeling as well. So maybe he thinks it is better not to show so much care and concernn towards the girl for now, because it might get the girl to become to fall too deeply for him. And since he is still uncertain, he would like to prevent this situation I guess, maybe to prevent the girl from getting hurt as well.
The guy should only ask her for exclusivity once he is completely sure abt his own feelings. For me as the girl, I will try to fill my time with other activities lor, and hang out more with my frens and family members so that I won't be hanging by the phone waiting for the guy to call to let me know that he is now interested in getting exclusive. So if I sense the guy is being uncertain, I will not stop my life because of him oso, but just get on with my life as usual...then wait for him to approach me to let me know that he is interested in getting into an exclusive r/s.
.....as to say if the girl is uncertain, then the guy better don't ask for exclusive, the rejection rate is high. Let her cool down first. At this point of time the guy also must not fall deeply in love with her, in case the girl decided not to go for exclusive with this guy. am i right to say so?
.....back to the meaning of 'Obscure kind of love" Is it that when i said this words, i am actually referring to the girl? Sort of like i am ready to go for exclusive but not sure about her intention or her feeling for me? -
it is not abt controlling ur feelings...if it is there, then it will be there. More like you need to be sure abt your own feelings before going up to her and asking her to become your stead. So take this time to observe your own feelings for her, and after you are completely sure, only then you should pose the question to her. This will save both of you a lot of trouble in the future.Originally posted by NeverSayGoodBye:.....sounds sensible
.....as to say if the girl is uncertain, then the guy better don't ask for exclusive, the rejection rate is high. Let her cool down first. At this point of time the guy also must not fall deeply in love with her, in case the girl decided not to go for exclusive with this guy. am i right to say so?
.....back to the meaning of 'Obscure kind of love" Is it that when i said this words, i am actually referring to the girl? Sort of like i am ready to go for exclusive but not sure about her intention or her feeling for me?
No need to worry abt whether she is sure or not, just take care of your own feelings and then pluck up the courage to go and ask her when you are certain
Good luck! -
\Originally posted by rainee:it is not abt controlling ur feelings...if it is there, then it will be there. More like you need to be sure abt your own feelings before going up to her and asking her to become your stead. So take this time to observe your own feelings for her, and after you are completely sure, only then you should pose the question to her. This will save both of you a lot of trouble in the future.
No need to worry abt whether she is sure or not, just take care of your own feelings and then pluck up the courage to go and ask her when you are certain Good luck! / -
wah wah
word overload -
same as u.Originally posted by rainee:As above, wanna hear your view
For me, it's communication and how to make it last. How to handle the real challenges in a r/s after the so-called "honeymoon period". How to change and adapt, and yet still be able to retain your own personality.
Many couples think they are made for each other during the initial stage of a r/s. But a couple that is still able to feel this way after a long time of being together can be assured that the love they have for each other is real.
Have wanted to say this for a long time...but guess that now I no longer have a blog, I will write down my thoughts here.
how to handle the differences in opinion, how to have arguments and yet once the argument is over, smile at each other.