found this rant.. it's hilarious!
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Are you retarded? Seriously. Are you? Who the fuck in their right mind comes furniture shopping at 8:30pm with five kids all in their pajamas? Did you seriously wake them up to go shopping?? Of course, it's way out of line for me to ask your little crotch-droppings to stop running in the store! How dare I even look at your child? It's obvious that little Jimmy here is destined for greatness! Hell, one look at his lazy eye and child-sized mullet makes that perfectly clear!!
I noticed you had a little trouble with the price tags. You see, if there are BIG FUCKING BOLD LETTERS that say $300, the fucking bed is three hundred dollars!!! Is it really that god damn difficult??? Are you completely illiterate? What the fuck is your problem?
A few more things before we're done:
I don't give a rat's ass how much money you've spent at this store in the past. What do you want me to do, throw you a parade? Try going to Target and demanding that they give you something for free because you bought something else yesterday. Let me know how that works out.
If I tell you that we won't negotiate prices, I'm not fucking with you. My co-workers are going to tell you the exact same thing. There is no need to go up to each and every salesperson and ask for a discount on the same busted-ass nightstand that's already been knocked down $200 because only a stupid hick like you would ever consider buying it.
If one more asshole asks me how "the fuckin" is on a particular mattress, I am just going to snap. Believe it or not, having sex on each and every one of our in-stock mattresses was not part of my job training. Shocking, I know.
In closing,
Fuck you. Fuck your fat, ugly, toothless, inbred, donkey-fucking, chitlins-eating, brainless, hopeless, morbidly obese ass. Fuck your NASCAR-jacket wearing, buck-toothed, nasty ass, hillbilly husband. Fuck your malformed vaginal discharges that you call children. Most of all, fuck you.
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