Jokes
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Man comes home , finds his wife with his friend in
bed . He shoots his friend and kills him.
Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL
your friends"
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A small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother"
Santa wrote back," SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"
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What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress
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Husband asks , "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??
Without Information Fighting Everytime
Wife replies," No, It means ,
With Idiot For Ever !!!"
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What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,
and Panic is when both are pregnant.
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Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?
Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one,
my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver
ran away.
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A women asks man who is traveling with six children,
"Are all these kids yours??"
The man replies, " No, I work in a condom factory
and these are customer complaints".
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A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference
between confident and confidential.
Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that.
Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential!" -
The English language often got the better of my German grandfather, a pastor. During one service, he announced that two members of his flock were getting married.
"You are all invited to the wedding," he told the congregation. "And also to the parish hall afterward for the conception."
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Sunshine Magazine reported that the date of the church picnic in Clarkston, Michigan, was firm: Thursday afternoon. But there was a caveat. "If it rains in the afternoon, the picnic will be held in the morning."
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"Ow!" I yelled. My hand had been stuck with a piece of wood from a wicker laundry basket. "I got a splinter under my fingernail," I called to my husband in the next room. Ever the wise guy, he yelled back, "What were you doing, scratching your head?"
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You can't become a dentist without practicing on real teeth. So in dental school, we used actual human skulls. After going through a stock of them, we placed an order for more with our supplier in India. Knowing the urgency, he confirmed the order by replying, "Will execute immediately." -
YEAH!! HAHAHAHAHAHAH DAMN FUNI!!Originally posted by alfagal:Man comes home , finds his wife with his friend in
bed . He shoots his friend and kills him.
Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL
your friends"
****************************************
A small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother"
Santa wrote back," SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"
****************************************
What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress
***********************************
Husband asks , "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??
Without Information Fighting Everytime
Wife replies," No, It means ,
With Idiot For Ever !!!"
**************************************
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,
and Panic is when both are pregnant.
**************************************
Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?
Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one,
my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver
ran away.
**************************************
A women asks man who is traveling with six children,
"Are all these kids yours??"
The man replies, " No, I work in a condom factory
and these are customer complaints".
*************************************
A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference
between confident and confidential.
Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that.
Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential!"