dunno if u guys go read this before, just wanna share it.
What do i want for a first date?
AhÂ…the start of the new semester. The season of new acquaintances and a whole lot of raging hormones. Be surrounded by the sweet sweet scent of blooming romances. Take a good look around campus, and you'll find it all too easy to have your gaze locked on that sweet young face. It's no surprise that the 'phenomenon' is taken up a notch with the incessant SDU-backed freshmen orientation camps.
First it was love at first sight followed by an ensuing round of mind games over MSN.
Then comes the big kahuna - the First Date.
First date jitters happens to everyone. If you beg to differ, you're in self-denial my friend. Women are harsh critics, and being critical is exactly what we do on first dates. Having been a victim of one-too-many catastrophic first-dates-I-wished-never-happened, I see it as my ecclesiastical duty to dispense with 5 big mistakes men make.
1. Sight
It will be much appreciated if you could talk to me where my face is. Most guys probably don't know this, but our cleavages don't actually make conversations with you. We like to think that our face is decent enough to garner your attention. And if you don't know already, a spaced out expression coupled with really slow speech (it doesn't help that your head is tilted slightly downwards) gives it away.
Also, not that I mind having dinner at Hooters (they have great wings!), but it can get a tad distracting when your face wanders off in the direction of a passing Hooters girl. Forgive us for that invigorating splash of water in the face
Keep your date in sight. If you don't show that she's worthy of your limited attention span, what makes you think she'll be sympathetic enough to sit through an entire evening of self-flattery you subconsciously throw at her.
2. Smell
I know you had a long day hugging other men at Rugby training, or probably worked your ass off babysitting elephants at the Zoo on your holiday internship. When women say they like the smell of a man who's just had a workout, it's usually because it reminded them of that sweltering night of passion. It's a first date; I don't know you well enough to take on that pungent chauvinistic odour just yet.
On the other end of the spectrum, unless you're European and still hasn't gotten used to the idea of taking daily showers in the Southern hemisphere, it's not that fantastic an idea to douse yourself in a tub of eau de parfum. Believe me, it might smell like a whiff of alluring musky scent to you, but it's really more like an overbearing tsunami wave of nauseating pungency.
Don't be afraid to use them nozzles, just be gentle with it. Do use deodorants or perfumes, but try not to get yourself in the Guinness book of records by finishing a bottle a day (or knocking your first dates unconscious).
3.Hear
It's a universal rule: no religion, politics or money. As much as you think most girls enjoy listening to you giving a glowing report of your assets and cash reserves in the bank, we really don't. If you're out on a date with a gold-digger, you don't need to impress her with subtleties. Feel free to be the pimp you are with your big fur coat, your blinging gold chains and just lit up your cigarette with a flaming note.
But if your first date is someone nice, and you care to make it a sweet experience that will gain you the ticket to date number two, lay off the boasting. It's one thing to tell her more about yourself; it's another to tell her that you drove your 1-week old Lamborghini into the sea because you didn't like the colour of it.
It's usually quite hard for men to do this, but hold on to your ego. I'm sure you have wonderful stories to tell, but when it's her turn to speak her mind, let her finish! Nothing gets on a girl's nerves more than not being able to complete a 7-word sentence without being interrupted every 2 secs.
Sure you just got out of rehab, was a full on cocaine addict in college and indulges in Japanese porn and torturing little animals in your free time, but really, is there a need to scare your date off in the first 10 mins into the meal? Hearing a detailed account of how you dissected your pet rabbit while it was twitching to a slow death doesn't make my grilled fish taste any better. Don't get me wrong, the bad boy James Dean thing still works, but mutilation just doesn't rock my world. Keep the conversation light-hearted, and save the gory anecdotes on that last meal before you tell her the relationship's over dude.
Lastly, one thing a guy shouldn't be is too be too accommodating - or nice. I never believe that nice guys finish last, but don't be too much of a sure-dear-anything-you-say-dear kind of a guy. "I love travelling", "me too", "I love rabbits" " Me too", " I love tampons" "Me too". C'mon, I know you can be eager to please your date, but trying to impose shared interests can get really loserish. It can get quite fuming when you agree with everything we say, or insist we make every decision. Girls like surprises. Make intriguing choices, challenge the convictions we state over dinner. Demonstrate that you're an affirmative man worthy of her.
4. Taste
Seriously, contrary to popular belief, we don't need some fancy restaurant where the entrees start at $50, and the only water they serve is sparkling water from some European spring. It only goes to make the date uncomfortable and unnatural. It also shows that you're one helluva showy guy.
I'm not suggesting MacDonald's, the food court or Hooter's either (hell, they really do have great wings!). That just spells cheap.
It could be a nice picnic at the botanical gardens, or an exotic meal at Arab Street. Skip the usual Swenson's or NYDC where every orientation group is hanging out at in hoards. It just kills the romance with the mundanely of it.
5.Touch
Ah, a touch of the skin that sends an electrifying tremble up the spine. A light touch of the arm does wonders. So hold on to your dick and keep your hands to yourself you perv. You can jack off to Hentai when you get home. You know how they say girls like a man's strong touch? You've probably got it in all the wrong places my sexually deprived homosapien friend.
Like I said, it's a first date, we don't know you that well to be comfortable with your hand on my bum all night. Light touched on the elbow or arm would be sufficient for the girl to feel secure. And if the feeling's right, go on and hold her hand, and that sweet touch might build up to a sensual first kiss by the end of the night.
So lads, I'm assuming your first date is a self-respecting girl worthy of your attention - I'm also assuming you have good taste. If you're dating an SPG, the hall whore or the horny freshmen, the rules above might not apply. There are no rules.
In any case, first dates should be fun, and more importantly, frays the nerves.
You'll like each other more only when you're in a comfortable setting and at ease with each other. No silly antics or trying too hard to impress. She probably liked that cool cat in you before she agreed to go on the date in the first place.
it may differ from dates to dates he he
