I am very depressed now....
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i need some place to rant, sorry to bother you guys...
see, 2 of my friends and i had decided that we would go on a post-graduation trip together. i'd be happy with anywhere, really. so long as we spend time having fun together before we each go out separately into the world.
but the two of them have arranged a europe trip with another 2 friends (one of whom i'm close to, the other one doesnt click with me). when i got to know of that, i asked if i could go along. 3 of them didn't mind, as long as i bring along another person (cos 5 people very de odd, logistics also not convenient).
so i roped in my brother. we were very excited. especially me lah. cos it'll be my first time travelling, and to europe some more. i've always wanted to go europe to see and play. and these 3 are my very important friends mah... i couldnt be happier.
but then, that 4th girl told the rest that she doesnt feel comfortable to have my brother come along, cos she doesnt want to be responsible for someone younger (my bro is 22 this year) in actual fact, all of us knows that the one she minded is me lah.
i guess she feels that if i come along, i will dampen the mood of the holiday trip for her, since whenever she is around, i dun talk much. cos we seriously dun click.
when my best pal told me this news, i could only say "ok loh, there's nothing we can do about it. me and my bro can always go Taiwan at the end of the year (my bro always wanted to go there again)."
cos really, wad can i do? i honestly dun care a sht what that girl will feel on the trip, but if she is going to be unhappy, then my other important friend will also feel upset (that's how she is, i know her). i dun wanna spoil the trip for them.
but only this morning is all of this sinking in.
i feel.... abandoned. sidelined.
i am so seriously upset now, i'm crying.
haha... it was not a sudden thing lah. it was precipitated by my bro lah. i was just breaking the news to him, and asking him if the two of us can just go elsewhere for a trip. discuss here discuss there. he doesnt really feel like going on any trip with just me (very understandable when i put myself in his shoes). we disagreed on where we wanna go and do (prob cos he really doesnt feel like doing anything or going anywhere.)
makes me feel even worse for a moment. and then he asked me why must i go for a graduation trip, and so urgently some more. then i realised that my actual problem was cos i was left behind by my friends, who had promised me that we'll go on a trip together just less than a month ago.
why ah?
why didn't they think if including me in the first place? is it cos they feel i will not want to go cos i got no money?
why ah?
why do i feel so upset? it's only a small thing hor?
how to stop feeling so depressed? how to stop crying?
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no ar...is that an all girls outing at the start? Suddenly add one boy in very odd.
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Originally posted by weewee:
no ar...is that an all girls outing at the start? Suddenly add one boy in very odd.
you.... are not getting my problem, are you? lolz... even if i roped in another girl, i still wun be welcomed. but even that i also dun care, that 4th gal means nothing to me.
but... my other friends... hadnt included me in their plans. that is wad upsets me tremendously.
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This is part & parcel of life experience many of us has gone through wat u experiencing now & grown up from there Life is not always a bed of rose Just bear in mind that u r not alone (many ppl also gone through this & it's nothing if u think back many yrs later)
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Dear starblue,
Maybe it was an honest oversight on your good friends' part? or maybe it was because your good friends know you cannot click with that "3rd friend" of them so they decide to exclude you from their europe trip.
Why can't you click with that "3rd friend"? Was it because of a past feud? Was it because she's unhappy with you on something or you unhappy with her on something?
In any case, maybe you need to sit down with your good friends and have a honest talk with them. About your friendship. The direction of it. About that 3rd friend etc. Maybe if you can, have a good (but not argumentative) talk with that 3rd friend as well.
A graduation trip, if it happens will definitely be memorable. But if it doesn't occur, then there really isn't any point in crying, is there?
From,
A guy who never bothered thinking about a graduation trip and never had a trip to anywhere.
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Originally posted by CoolMyth:
Dear starblue,
Maybe it was an honest oversight on your good friends' part? or maybe it was because your good friends know you cannot click with that "3rd friend" of them so they decide to exclude you from their europe trip.
Why can't you click with that "3rd friend"? Was it because of a past feud? Was it because she's unhappy with you on something or you unhappy with her on something?
In any case, maybe you need to sit down with your good friends and have a honest talk with them. About your friendship. The direction of it. About that 3rd friend etc. Maybe if you can, have a good (but not argumentative) talk with that 3rd friend as well.
A graduation trip, if it happens will definitely be memorable. But if it doesn't occur, then there really isn't any point in crying, is there?
From,
A guy who never bothered thinking about a graduation trip and never had a trip to anywhere.
there is no freud between that 3rd friend and me. we just never clicked. there was nothing to be said between us. we'd never make fast friends, that was all. but my other friends know that i'd have no problems going on the trip with them all. afterall, i have 3 other friends and my brother to have fun with. i won't purposely dun talk to her or anything. there's just no doubt that one-on-one conversation with her will not be the most enchanting thing in the universe.
i dunno if i go talk to them honestly is a good idea. will they feel guilty for making me so upset? will they feel pressured and obligated to arrange another trip just to appease me? will they feel like i'm being unreasonable, silly, or wadever else?
i think... maybe i should just get over it. you're right. a graduation trip is not that big of a deal. not a big deal at all. many people's graduated without a trip.
haha... i'm just being silly again ba.
i'll get over it. there is nothing else to be done.
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sometimes, it's good not to think and delve too deep into a matter.
well, easy to say but not easy to do. I'm still pretty guilty of that from time to time.
Anyway, just relax and dun feel too sad about it.
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just go and enjoy la
care this care that
you only have one life u know -
*pats starblue*
I would talk to my friends about it, because if I don't, I think it'll become... how to say, at least let everyone have a chance to make their feelings and intentions known. If you don't do it, I dunno lah, but maybe...
darn I don't know how to express leh! I feel it will be detrimental to the friendship in future loh, like if anything happens, maybe you all will think back to this incident and start to have funny thoughts individually... like, maybe it will cause a misunderstanding... or something. Something like that.
I will feel more comfortable to let my friend yell at me for something I've done wrong to her rather than listen to her say that it's okay when I sense something is not okay but can't be sure...
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I am also graduating after this semester. I am definitely not going for long trips to europe or USA because i will never be able to enjoy myself when i havent found a job and i am oweing my parents a hefty sum of money. I also do not like going overseas when i have to watch my spendings so much. I would rather go overseas only when i found a job but then again, when you have a job, you can only have 2 weeks of annual leave unless you apply for extended leave.
Though i say i am not going so far, i am planning on trips to bintam, gentings and JB with different groups of friends after i grad. I love the sun, the sand and the sea but dont think i will be taking star cruise (not virgo again). I dont think i can afford to go on trip to taiwan or hongkong. Budget airlines to bangkok seems like a good deal but i dont like bangkok lei. (super hot country)
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oooh.. why dun u just go along?
Since the other 3 frens are ok w u cept the char boh wad..
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ya.. sumtimes u just cant tok to sumone.. also dunoe y...
is she those kind tt will kick up a fuss tt u are going? Or both of u all will just go along with the flow... Since there is no unhappiness b/w e 2 of u...
If it's the latter i tink it's still ok ba.. I bet ur frens wan u on the trip.. Just that they are aware that u and the ger is not veri gam...
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.....umm, I felt sh.it too if I will you. Very clearly the 4th girl was far more important than you. What's the point of gate crashing into their party and turned yourself into a spare tyre? Held your head high, show them you can be happy without going. Save up, and find someone who truly wants to be with you.
Meanwhile, I think you should re-examine the friendship between you and this two friends....
Well, Chinese New Year is coming soon, don't let this incident dampen your mood..... Cheeeeer Up!
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Yup , you'll get over it. Try to think in thier position. Sometimes , some situations are a result of our own attitude or character and not others.
Dont need to confront them or whatever. Just let it be. Maybe this will make you more aware of your surrounding friends.Not to say they are bad or whatever , just better at evaluating the situation.
A graduation trip is not a bad idea sometimes. At least let u see whats out there before you venture into the real working world. My trip was crushed in my face and was recalled so fast until now i am still trying to plan trips but never got around to it. I can only do spontaneous trips.. and not planned trips. And going anywhere with a flight time of more then 5 hours is a no can do.
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good question, so can you find out why the 2 friends who agreed to go with you decided to abandon you for the other 2? is it a matter or priority? or just that they didn't take the agreement seriously or just that they were not the organisers and they don't want to rock the boat?
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Hmm, cannot find some other friends and go with them instead?
You got try to explain to your two other friends that you really want to go and enjoy with them, and why do they let this one girl change their mind about letting you go with them? After all it seems like out of the 4, only one didn't really click with you. You can always just don't talk too much with her during the trip, and nobody forces her to interact with you during the trip, she can just interact with the other three lolz.
Anyway if everything else fails, just try to find some other peeps to go with...I also until now haven't gone to Europe yet even when I have always wanted to go since my schooling days...saving that for my honeymoon trip instead
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well..sometimes friends will forget you
the only thing is to accept it, i know it sucks la..but you can go some other time rite?
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i have decided not to go with them already. i guess i just have to get used to the fact that all the friends close to my heart are not the very sensitive sort. i know they care about me. it's just that most of the time, they don't show it the way i needed to be shown.
and this kinda thing happens all the time.
i'm ok now.
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if i were you, i will confront the zar bor.
i will ask politely, "you don't want me to go is it....u can just say so what...."
then she sure will say, "no la!!! why you think so much?? no la..."
then i will act like very happy like that. "ok!!! then i go huh!"
then maybe she will try some excuse, like, "no la..because we all girls..then got ur brother...cannot really enjoy..must take care of him..u know what i mean?"
"my brother 22 years old already la! not a child anymore! let's have fun la!!!"
most prob, she may back out herself. whahahaaha!
if she doesn't, try to be more fun than her with your friends. don't let her steal the spotlight!!
aiya..i know u not going anymore..but i feel very bu fu for u... :(
i know how u are feeling...coz got such a girl appear in my gang of friends before also.
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Very hard to find permanent and good friends. That's life lor.
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Originally posted by starblue:
i have decided not to go with them already. i guess i just have to get used to the fact that all the friends close to my heart are not the very sensitive sort. i know they care about me. it's just that most of the time, they don't show it the way i needed to be shown.
and this kinda thing happens all the time.
i'm ok now.
pats pats...
Even for me, I don't really have any long-lasting friends...just a handful...and we all have our own life most of the time..just meet up when we are free...and if one says she is not free to meet up, we will not take offense...
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Originally posted by starblue:
i have decided not to go with them already. i guess i just have to get used to the fact that all the friends close to my heart are not the very sensitive sort. i know they care about me. it's just that most of the time, they don't show it the way i needed to be shown.
and this kinda thing happens all the time.
i'm ok now.
If you are not going on a graduation trip, then go bite some guy you find interesting and see if you can tie him down with you permanently...