Taken from the Electric Newspaper. http://newpaper.asia1.com.sg/sports/story/0,4136,99369,00.html
Mourinho: Bah! London, a city of six million inhabitants. Obviously, it is getting too small for the two of us.
Look, it is my day-off today and here I am shopping at Harrods and you have to be here as well?
Maybe I should just call the press. This is conclusive proof that you're a voyeur.
Wenger: Well, you've met Ashley Cole without my permission. Your chief executive Peter Kenyon had 'coincidental' meetings with Rio Ferdinand twice.
Maybe I should report you to the Premiership for trying to poach me now that you've seen me at Harrods. Or maybe you're here at Harrods to poach Mohamed Al-Fayed as well?
Mourinho: Hey, please don't be a pot that calls the kettle black. And I'm too special to be called a kettle.
You kidnapped Nicolas Anelka from PSG when he was still a teenager. You stole Sol Campbell from Tottenham. What have you got to say?
And you know why I've called you a voyeur? That's because you seem to have an obsession with Chelsea. It's always Chelsea this and Chelsea that whenever you talk.
Maybe you're jealous of my transfer budget. Maybe you want my job. Or maybe, you're in love with me.
Wenger: Oh please. How can I be called a voyeur when I cannot even see things?
When Robert Pires dives to win a penalty or when Patrick Vieira elbows somebody, I can't see those things happening. So there is no way I can look across London and see you at Stamford Bridge.
I have been asked many times by reporters before. But the truth has always been 'I didn't see it'.
Mourinho: I've heard about your eyesight problems. And I'm sure you've probably heard about my 120-page dossier on your quotes about Chelsea.
Since you're rather blind, I've taken the extra step to print the entire file in Braille. That will help you read it.
In fact, I just cannot understand why people think we're the worst of enemies. I have just sent to you a Christmas card autographed by yours truly.
That should fetch you a tidy sum on eBay and help you during the transfer window.
Wenger: Mon dieu! You are too polite.
I suppose your so-called Christmas card to me was printed in Braille as well?
Spare me your hypocrisy. You make Alex Ferguson look more saintly than the Pope.
And you were total rubbish as a player. You've never played for a big club. Someday, you will become a rubbish manager.
Mourinho: You mean, I'll become as rubbish a manager as you?
And you call me a rubbish player. What about yourself, blind man?
How many French caps do you have?
Wenger: Since you reckon that you have better eyesight than moi, perhaps you should turn on your TV set.
I've heard the Americans are making a television series based on your defeats to Charlton, Real Betis and Man U. It's called Lost.
Mourinho: Oh yeah? I've heard the producers are making a show on you, too. It will be based on my recent comments about you being a voyeur. It will be called Desperate Housewife.
And guess who it is referring to?
That's not all. There's another flick coming out describing Arsenal's pathetic season. It's called Doom.
Wenger: Sometimes I do wonder who's the real voyeur.
You accuse me of being obsessed with Chelsea but yet, you have the time to compile 120 pages of my quotes. I wonder if you're doing the same with Alex Ferguson, Rafa Benitez or even some obscure bloke coaching the British Virgin Islands.
Mourinho: Hey Monsieur, watch that mouth of yours. That's a personal attack. If I were you, I'd look at my team's League position before slagging others off.
You know what's the difference between Arsenal and bird flu? At least bird flu made it into Europe. Looking at your team's hopeless displays, you will not qualify for the Champions League again next season.
Wenger: At least, my team is more entertaining than yours. And we will have a bigger stadium than yours.